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layout: post
title: "There are some, I just gotta sit down and dig through them at some point."
date: 2018-01-05
---
> the kernel of an ideaThere are some, I just gotta sit down and dig through them at some point. Got enough sitting in my draft queue as it is though!
Yeah, remixing, thats the stuff. After all, nothings originaleverything is a remix whether consciously or otherwise.
> Well, thats *it* nownow that youve said that, its *inevitably* gonna happen, *isnt* it?Bugger.
> Its disconcerting, Ill give you that ; PIsnt it just. Strangely comforting to know that Im not alone in my particular madness, though.
> Yeah … my passengers didnt so much thoughI can imagine not. All the fear, none of the fun of being the one with the pedal to the metal!
> I was his best option for a *blameless* dereliction of dutyAh. You know, right up until recently I would have automatically disagreed on the dereliction of duty point. But being currently in the middle of trying to support a close friend who just lost her boyfriend of several years to debt/drug addiction suicide Im less sure. Something about the idea of it being selfish still doesnt quite sit right with me though. I cant phrase it yet.
> I really was putting a lot of peoples lives at risk entirely unnecessarilySpose thats the thing about a bike, youre *mostly *only a danger to yourself.
> that protection wont do you much good in a head-on collision with a Belgian 18-wheeler at 140mphWell no, but Im not sure youd be much better off anything short of a tank at that point!
> I take calculated risksDepends how youre doing the calculations, I suppose!
But in principle agreed, insane is too strong a word.
> Not needing to recover in the first place is, however, masterfulI salute you.Not so fastwhile I recognise the problem and half of me recoils from itthe other half *really* wants a **much **bigger bike.
I have a feeling I know which half will win.
> Also, it means I get to pretend that Im in control and could give up any time I wanted toso its alright … not a problem … leave me alone about it.I certainly wont get on your back about it, since I have the exact same *not*-problem.
> Adrenaline Junkies versionKeep working on it, because Id wear it like a badge of honour. A rather battered badge, likely with a couple bulletholes, but nevertheless…
> I did trust my pilot completely and felt that it was perfectly safe to dress that way as a result.Theres only *so *defensive it is possible to ride. Plus past a certain point defensiveness sucks all the fun out. But my point is your pilot aint the problem, its the *other *crazies on the roads that are the issue.
Plus I *love *the look of leathers. Particularly with a pretty woman in them, but wearing them gets (trailing) second best. Need to get a jacket to match the rest of my gear, my current one is textile and while well armoured it just doesnt have the appeal of leather.
> I corrected it from fun to exciting afterwardsthe difference is subtle but significant.That does make a significance difference. Positive, vs adrenaline filled. Reluctantly, I concede that not *everything *needs to be risky/dangerous/stupid to be worth doing.
> You wont listen anyway, but at least I feel like I did the right thing by saying it and can sleep easier for it : DWell I wont listen *fully*, but it has been *heard*, and has reinforced an often silenced inner voice trying to temper my hunger for the next kick.
> Stunt-rider?Damnit why do I feel the desire to do that, Im enough of a danger to myself with two wheels on the road. Let alone one or none!
> But overall, I suppose, no, I cant complain of having been boredIve done some interesting stuff in interesting places with interesting people.Im still on the fence as to if a negative experience is better than none at all. Im leaning towards it being so, because even the worst experience provides a learning opportunity.
I try to make better to live with regret than regret not having lived my motto. Times so precious doing nothing-at-all just seems like a waste.
But yes, perhaps theres nothing wrong with toning down the risk just a bit. Of course, its one thing to talk about it, and one thing to actually try to wean yourself off it.
> I guess Ill see what the second half brings soon enough : DId wish you good fortune, but you dont appear to need it. I too am excited for where I might go next.
Id say it cant get much worse than what Ive already been through but I feel like I really would get the attention of Universe then.
Wait…Oh.
Oh. Bugger.