+++ date = "2018-06-04" layout = "post" title = "Instant Gratification Obsession" categories = ["me"] resources name = "header thumbnail" src = "*yB8bi29G-ZHJOALL9NU7A" +++

Or is it?

I have a bit of a reputation for near instant replies. It’s another of the double edged swords that besides Perfectly Awful Timing provides the cornerstone to my ‘brand’ for want of a better word.

Fast replies demonstrate ‘I have nothing better to do’. And that can certainly be a good or a bad thing…

To a degree it is because I have nothing better to do. But I’m not obsessed with my phone in the same way others might be.

It’s not the dopamine rush of notifications I crave, at least not exactly.

I think it’s more that I have a craving for connection.

Text is a bad mimic of real conversation. Real time replies are the basis of verbal communication… And yet are somehow sometimes frowned upon in text.

I hate small talk. Always have always will. I’d much rather open with ‘How is your heart’ than ‘How are you’. Comes across a bit intense in text, though.

Checking in often is something I’ve been working on in the hopes it will be returned. So far it hasn’t exactly worked.

Anyway, looping back to the original track…

My unnaturally quick speed of response leads me to subconsciously expect the same from the other person.

Fine in real conversation.

Toxic when applied to texting.

I’m working on it.