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layout, title, date
| layout | title | date |
|---|---|---|
| post | Jekyll and Hyde Philosophy | 2018-04-30 |
Torn between the bad and the ugly
Photo by Wendy Scofield on UnsplashI’ve mused before about my irreconcilable dual philosophy. The part of me that inspires the ‘Neither do I’ in my bio — it’s not just there for the rhyme!
In the shower[1] just now it hit me what that is.
It’s a Jekyll and Hyde philosophy.
Sometimes, I attempt optimism with earnest. I see the world for what it could be, rather than the twisted anarchy that it is. And I am fired to fight towards that. My philosophy in these times is all-encompassing, laid back and non-judgmental. I believe — truly believe — in a Utopian future.[2]
That’s my Jekyll philosophy. One of the best intentions.[3]
Then, I inevitably remember (or am reminded) Life is Shit.
This is the spiteful, cynical, middle finger to the universe side of my splintered worldview. Where I see that its a goddamn miracle the human race hasn’t obliterated itself *already *and we’re all living on borrowed time. A philosophy that is malevolent and selfish. Shit sucks and all we can do is make the best of it.
But it also brings an anger — a futile rage against the universe that doesn’t give a shit. And a justified rage against The Powers That Be which don’t give a shit either.[4]
That’s my Hyde philosophy. One of sometimes-righteous anger but shot through with wide cracks of black malice.
And so I am. And so I am torn.
Trapped and torn between two inconceivably opposed world views. Thinking one thing one moment, and the opposite the next. It is confusing and infuriating.
So I half hope that one side eventually wins this impossible war.
Though if that were to happen, I don’t know which side would win.
I don’t know which side I’d want to win, either.
[1] Why is it always the shower? I guess because its the only high-daydream activity we do regularly and consistently…
[2] Equality for all and all that wonderful bollox.
[3] For all the good that intentions are…
[4] And anger is a veritable powerplant of energy, creative and otherwise. If it was good enough for Terry Pratchett, it is more than good enough for me.