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post Is self reflection enough? 2018-06-13

Ive been doing a lot (a whole lot!) of self reflection lately. Its probably reflectedHah! (Sorry[1])in my writings.

Im trying to figure out who I am. And *what I *do. Big questions. But ones I want answers to.

Not least because of the series of relationship explosions Ive undergone recently. In particular Im trying to identify and neutralise toxic behaviours I either already had or developed in those relationships.

Im pretty sure Im badly codependent. Which needs to change. I also have a major tendency to jump ahead of myself when I should be rolling with the punches.[2] But I dont know exactly how. Which loops quite neatly to the title.

Ive been looking inward. Balancing it with looking outward. Trying to let a little more positivity bleed into the darkness.[3]

Trying really damn hard to be more mindful, more grateful.

All of that is good. But is it enough? Can I do thiswhatever *this *isalone?

I dont know. Which is another thing Im working at being better atadmitting when Im wrong or dont know. Which is a lot of the time when this is involved.

I guess Im just trying to be a better person. Something I should be able to manage alone. In theory. I dont know.

[1] Im not.

[2] I dont mean that inherently negatively as it implies. *Going with the flow *just isnt violent enough for me. On second thoughts maybe I do.

[3] Sometimes.