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layout: post
title: "A question on which my head and heart vehemently disagree."
date: 2018-01-17
---
> was it a lie … a face she showed you?A question on which my head and heart vehemently disagree. The resultant feeling of being torn in half is… distinctly unpleasant.
My heart still loves her. Beauty still in the brokenness.
My head hates her for what she did.
But the truth is… I dont know the truth. She did lie, but whether or not she did it *intentionally* I will never know. Swears that she didnt, of course, but what goods that, *now*.
> Your own self loveError 404: Self love not found.
All joking aside… I dont know. There was certainly an element of rose tinted glasses.
> accessory boyfriend Ken doll who would perform his role according to the script?Interesting that you mention this. Shes known as a serial man-izer (is that even a *thing??) — *though of course nobody warned me until it was too damn late.
Dangerously beautiful and knows it. Weaponises it, even. What she gets out of it all, I dont know.
Thats my bitterness speaking to a degree. But there is certainly truth in it. Helps my head to win out over my heart. My traitorous heart that wants to try running back to her…
> the man they would love to be, if only they hadnt been born female.Now thats a curious idea indeed…this requires more thought of my own.
> Theres the fantasy … and then theres the cold, harsh, bitterly disappointing reality of … me.This would go a long way to explain why I can catch em but never keep em. Not that I can shift the blame for that entirely, mind.
> “The Worlds either great or wretched, isnt it? So many people are just finished.”Mostly wretched, as we know.
> Very astute!Oh now I didnt mean to claim credit for that one. I stole it from somewhere, though cant for the life of me remember where…