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layout:	post
title:	"A question on which my head and heart vehemently disagree."
date:	2018-01-17
---

  
> was it a lie … a face she showed you?A question on which my head and heart vehemently disagree. The resultant feeling of being torn in half is… distinctly unpleasant.

My heart still loves her. Beauty still in the brokenness.

My head hates her for what she did.

But the truth is… I don’t know the truth. She did lie, but whether or not she did it *intentionally* I will never know. Swears that she didn’t, of course, but what good’s that, *now*.


> Your own self loveError 404: Self love not found.

All joking aside… I don’t know. There was certainly an element of rose tinted glasses.


> accessory boyfriend ‘Ken’ doll who would perform his role according to the script?Interesting that you mention this. She’s known as a serial ‘man-izer’ (is that even a *thing??) — *though of course nobody warned me until it was too damn late.

Dangerously beautiful and knows it. Weaponises it, even. What she gets out of it all, I don’t know.

That’s my bitterness speaking to a degree. But there is certainly truth in it. Helps my head to win out over my heart. My traitorous heart that wants to try running back to her…


> the man they would love to be, if only they hadn’t been born female.Now that’s a curious idea indeed…this requires more thought of my own.


> There’s the fantasy … and then there’s the cold, harsh, bitterly disappointing reality of … me.This would go a long way to explain why I can catch em but never keep em. Not that I can shift the blame for that entirely, mind.


> “The World’s either great or wretched, isn’t it? So many people are just finished.”Mostly wretched, as we know.


> Very astute!Oh now I didn’t mean to claim credit for that one. I stole it from somewhere, though can’t for the life of me remember where…