--- layout: post title: "There are some, I just gotta sit down and dig through them at some point." date: 2018-01-05 --- > the kernel of an ideaThere are some, I just gotta sit down and dig through them at some point. Got enough sitting in my draft queue as it is though! Yeah, remixing, that’s the stuff. After all, nothing’s original — everything is a remix whether consciously or otherwise. > Well, that’s *it* now — now that you’ve said that, it’s *inevitably* gonna happen, *isn’t* it?Bugger. > It’s disconcerting, I’ll give you that ; PIsn’t it just. Strangely comforting to know that I’m not alone in my particular madness, though. > Yeah … my passengers didn’t so much thoughI can imagine not. All the fear, none of the fun of being the one with the pedal to the metal! > I was his best option for a *blameless* dereliction of dutyAh. You know, right up until recently I would have automatically disagreed on the ‘dereliction of duty’ point. But being currently in the middle of trying to support a close friend who just lost her boyfriend of several years to debt/drug addiction suicide I’m less sure. Something about the idea of it being selfish still doesn’t quite sit right with me though. I can’t phrase it yet. > I really was putting a lot of people’s lives at risk entirely unnecessarilyS’pose that’s the thing about a bike, you’re *mostly *only a danger to yourself. > that protection won’t do you much good in a head-on collision with a Belgian 18-wheeler at 140mphWell no, but I’m not sure you’d be much better off anything short of a tank at that point! > I take calculated risksDepends how you’re doing the calculations, I suppose! But in principle agreed, insane is too strong a word. > Not needing to recover in the first place is, however, masterful — I salute you.Not so fast — while I recognise the problem and half of me recoils from it — the other half *really* wants a **much **bigger bike. I have a feeling I know which half will win. > Also, it means I get to pretend that I’m in control and could give up any time I wanted to — so it’s alright … not a problem … leave me alone about it.I certainly won’t get on your back about it, since I have the exact same *not*-problem. > Adrenaline Junkie’s versionKeep working on it, because I’d wear it like a badge of honour. A rather battered badge, likely with a couple bulletholes, but nevertheless… > I did trust my pilot completely and felt that it was perfectly safe to dress that way as a result.There’s only *so *defensive it is possible to ride. Plus past a certain point defensiveness sucks all the fun out. But my point is your pilot ain’t the problem, its the *other *crazies on the roads that are the issue. Plus I *love *the look of leathers. Particularly with a pretty woman in them, but wearing them gets (trailing) second best. Need to get a jacket to match the rest of my gear, my current one is textile and while well armoured it just doesn’t have the appeal of leather. > I corrected it from ‘fun’ to ‘exciting’ afterwards — the difference is subtle but significant.That does make a significance difference. Positive, vs adrenaline filled. Reluctantly, I concede that not *everything *needs to be risky/dangerous/stupid to be worth doing. > You won’t listen anyway, but at least I feel like I did the right thing by saying it and can sleep easier for it : DWell I won’t listen *fully*, but it has been *heard*, and has reinforced an often silenced inner voice trying to temper my hunger for the next kick. > Stunt-rider?Damnit why do I feel the desire to do that, I’m enough of a danger to myself with two wheels on the road. Let alone one or none! > But overall, I suppose, no, I can’t complain of having been bored — I‘ve done some interesting stuff in interesting places with interesting people.I’m still on the fence as to if a negative experience is better than none at all. I’m leaning towards it being so, because even the worst experience provides a learning opportunity. I try to make ‘better to live with regret than regret not having lived’ my motto. Time’s so precious doing nothing-at-all just seems like a waste. But yes, perhaps there’s nothing wrong with toning down the risk just a bit. Of course, its one thing to talk about it, and one thing to actually try to wean yourself off it. > I guess I’ll see what the second half brings soon enough : DI’d wish you good fortune, but you don’t appear to need it. I too am excited for where I might go next. I’d say it can’t get much worse than what I’ve already been through but I feel like I really would get the attention of Universe then. Wait…Oh. Oh. Bugger.