---
layout:	post
title:	"Thoughts on monogamy"
date:	2018-05-30
---

  #### Or: Am I the only guy that *doesn’t* want a threesome?

![](/img/1*9R2H9i-dUtBR9sWfT8jyPw.jpeg)I can’t imagine being anything other than monogamous.

I’ve thought about it quite a bit. [Ever since what She said to me](https://medium.com/myfuckingfeelings/an-acidic-introduction-to-hate-love-c275655eb869). But it also resurged when another ex broke up with me in part because I was unable to stomach the idea of an open relationship.

Because I can’t. I’m not opposed to the idea of casual sex with several different partners. Maybe even several different partners at once.

But group sex is mutually exclusive to romantic relationships for me. I am either ‘free’ — for want of a better word — and experimental or I am committed.

In this I am uncharacteristically very traditional. Which in itself doesn’t sit right with me. I hold a deep seated connection between love and exclusive sex. Is that something I formed on my own or something society impressed on me? Is sex worthy of the special meaning I and many other people ascribe to it or should it be a truly casual act? [Like it once was](https://medium.com/th-ink/heterosexuals-need-to-come-out-of-the-closet-part-1-6d0e071c4c0a)

I hate the idea of clipping a partners wings. Preventing them from experiencing all that life and sex has to offer. To a much *lesser* extent I would be worried about clipping my own.

In that respect… is monogamous sex even viable long term? Maybe not. Is it a step forward from the openness of the past, towards a romantic future…. Or is it a step back?

Maybe monogamy is viable for some people and not others and I’m simply part of the former camp. And unfortunately attracted to people in the latter camp!

I admit that part of my view on polyamory is based on fear and insecurity. Perhaps in a truly committed relationship I would feel confident opening it up without the worry of ‘losing’ my partner. Perhaps.

I am in no way against open relationships. I just can’t imagine myself being comfortable *in* one. And it *is* all down to imagination at this point . Could I, should I, experiment? Maybe.

Do I even want to?