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_drafts/2017-12-02-a-letter-to-love-lost.markdown
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layout: post
title: "A letter to love lost"
date: 2017-12-02
---
![](/img/1*692G9RA2PUB1IfnDi5tCkA.jpeg)Photo by [Jacob Culp](https://unsplash.com/photos/PwMB0FpuyyQ?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I miss endless hours with our bodies intertwined watching TV
I miss that it never mattered what we watched, only that we did it together
I miss lying awake until the silly hours of the morning, talking everything from pizza to philosophy
I miss having someone
Someone to share life with
To bare my soul to
Someone infinitely more than *just* *someone*
I miss you
But that’s better than not
All things have to end
Unfortunately

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_drafts/2018-06-05-fuck-the-world.markdown
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layout: post
title: "Fuck the world"
date: 2018-06-05
---
#### Not literally, you might catch something[1]
![](/img/1*b8-UrpS2ct361i2QWAVeRw.jpeg)Let me tell you a little secret I learned. There is one fundamental truth. One truth in this maelstrom. In universal entropy one thing remains…
…
Life. Is. Shit.
… No really that’s it. And I gleefully invite you to argue otherwise. Good luck with *that*.
And don’t you try telling me to have hope. Don’t you *dare*.
### Life is Shit
![](/img/1*yQpwzrX2DeG2NWHer_UI8w.jpeg)Shit’s *fucked* man. There *will* be resource wars within my lifetime. It is increasingly likely Life As We Know it will be **Extinct **in my lifetime.
*Climate change. Pollution. Water Scarcity. Overpopulation. *[*Plastic*](https://betterhumans.coach.me/how-to-save-the-world-from-death-by-plastic-1ae123403f85)*[3] Corruption and widening inequality.*
All that wonderful stuff and more is shit that my generation is gonna have to deal with. And following generations[4]… if there *are* any.
All you have to do is open your eyes and everywhere you look is an overwhelming deluge of world threatening issues.
So it kind of makes me wonder *what’s the point? *Certainly goes a long way to explain the current mental health crisis. *What* crisis? Sorry[5]… Wake the fuck up.
There are two possible answers to the question. But first…
### Fuck Hope
![](/img/1*og3DjfY1v_eU4q6vNRqXHw.jpeg)[Where Angels Fear](https://medium.com/u/6c8bcd0d1a65) likes to remind us that Hope was the worst of all Pandora’s gifts. I very much agree.
It is the only one that kills us slowly, a little more each day.
So *fuck* having hope.
Don’t hope for a better reality. Sorry[5] but wishing for it ain’t gonna do shit, sunshine.
Consider better possibilities but don’t start to anticipate them. That’s hope. That’s pain.
It’s a fine line to walk and one I don’t claim to have mastered. Regardless…
### Solution Nought — Shut up
![](/img/1*Bd_T0hW-TJoeJZOasQTAkA.jpeg)Solution Nought is to continue. To settle for status quo[6]. To ignore the corruption, the killing, the not so gradual strangling of a whole world. To carry on as we have, in our *infinite* arrogance.
It it Solution Nought because it is *not an option*.
Regardless, the weight of numbers and ignorance will likely sweep us down this path. Not least because some follow this path willfully, because it benefits them short term. *Fuck* them.
Solution Nought doesn’t have to doesn’t have to win…It can’t, not if you want to live. And I certainly do.
### Solution One — Give Up
![](/img/1*5JxrqWGErVW2AwlEr7T9rA.jpeg)In the face of all that is Hopeless… not least because I’ve already told you to fuck hope… What else is there to do but give up?
> Nothing has meaning, we’re all gonna die.We’re all doomed and there ain’t shit anyone can do about it. The world is falling apart, groaning at the seams from overpopulation and a hollow shell from exploitation.
*Sorry[5] about this pessemism…*
Give up. Give up and let it grind you down. Let the full reality sink in and embrace that we are doomed. Nothing has meaning, we’re all gonna die…
… Nothing has meaning, we’re all gonna die. True, but it doesn’t have to mean *give up*. By all means *give up — *I often want to myself — but if that doesn’t sit right with you (It shouldn’t) …read on…
### Solution Two — Stand Up
![](/img/1*aWGAar7Gzm1BS7k3lHNgaA.jpeg)Nobody can do anything about it… But *everyone* might.
> I’m sick of this wilful ignorance, sick of pretending it’s all OK.It’d take a fucking Riot, but it just might happen. After all, you cannot take down a System from within the System.[7]
And taking down the System is only the first step. Only half the battle let alone the war. A new System must arise, one that is prepared and equipped to deal with the remaining challenges. *If* doing so is even possible…
But at least we wouldn’t be collectively (as a species) sticking our fingers in our ears and humming away. Wantonly ignoring the world because the reality sucks too bad.
That’s the first step, is accepting that Life IS SHIT. It is and it always will be, but if we go on like this it won’t just be shit it won’t just be shit it will be **OVER**. For all of us.
I’m sick of this wilful ignorance, sick of pretending it’s all OK. Nothing is okay. Arm yourself with that knowledge and fight. Fight the world that is destroying our world in any way you can.
It’ll take a miracle to work. But miracles don’t just happen, they are borne. Borne on the backs of an angry mob. After all, strength in numbers is all the strength we have.
### Solution Two A — Light Up
![](/img/1*5TM6w6_G-hhjrBDPuNFQvg.jpeg)*Not a separate solution, more of a caveat to Solution Two.*
Be the wrench in the gears, but don’t let that consume you.
Need I remind you by now that Life is Shit?
So fuck the world.
> Learn to live, love and laugh. Learn to do all that, despite that Life is Shit.Fight the world, but pick your battles. Don’t ignore experiencing life for the sake of trying to extend it. Both on a micro (your life) and a macro (the planet) scale. In a sense I’m saying *don’t* be selfless. Don’t fight a losing war at the expense of what time you have left.
This is not ignorance. Nor is it selfishness.
**It is living despite.**
And that’s all my generation, all I, can ever do.
Learn to live, love and laugh. Learn to do all that, despite that Life is Shit.
Despite that Life is *Doomed*.
Learn to *fuck the world* and go on *anyway.*
### Final Wor(l)d
![](/img/1*wnhPHkB1lFVJh-Fy6S1uLA.jpeg)I’m still learning. Still fighting the urge to resort to Option One. But even still I say and I say again…FUCK THE WORLD.
I will fight for every last experience, every last moment. May the world end tommorow or in two years. Twenty, if we make it that far. A bigger *if* every day.
I’ll fight tooth and nail every step.
**Live life to the last drop, because the bottle (plastic, of course) is nearly empty.**
[1] To steal the phrase of a Angel you hope you never meet.[2]
[2] Credited in footnotes. That’s appropriate if nothing else.
[3] God only knows why that article is pay walled. Quick(ish) summary… PSA the ocean is full of toxic plastic that will probably cause sudden and toxic ecosystem failure in the near future. Oh and did I mention it’s contaminating drinking water with high levels of estrogen? Yes, as in the female reproductive hormone.
[4] *Not* that I’ll be contributing to that. I find it downright morally irresponsible what with all of the above. Besides that I *hate* kids!
[5] I’m not
[6] Latin for *the mess we’re in* don’t you know. And *what* a mess.
[7] To be continued…
*Photos credit to various wonderful people on Unsplash. It’s a fight to add captions on mobile, else I’d do it properly.*