diff --git a/content/post/2018/04/jekyll-and-hyde/index.markdown b/content/post/2018/04/jekyll-and-hyde/index.markdown index 72ce29b..ecb3e8c 100644 --- a/content/post/2018/04/jekyll-and-hyde/index.markdown +++ b/content/post/2018/04/jekyll-and-hyde/index.markdown @@ -1,33 +1,34 @@ +++ -title = "Jekyll and Hyde Philosophy" -description = "Torn between the bad and the ugly" -date = "2018-04-30" +layout ="post" categories = ["life", "me", "philosophy"] +title ="Jekyll and Hyde Philosophy" +date = "2018-04-30" [[resources]] name = "header thumbnail" - src = "**y1NXI-alfOz6PgFt2VvP3A*" + src = "**1*y1NXI-alfOz6PgFt2VvP3A*" [resources.params] [resources.params.meta] creator = "Wendy Scofield" license = "https://unsplash.com/license" sameAs = "https://unsplash.com/photos/TjfQR3JgGG8?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" +description = "Torn between the bad and the ugly" +++ -I’ve mused before about my irreconcilable dual philosophy. The part of me that inspires the ‘Neither do I’ in my bio [Ed. Note 2021: Bio previously read 'Adrenaline Junkie afraid to die. Doesn't make sense? Neither do I!'] — it’s not just there for the rhyme! +I’ve mused before about my irreconcilable dual philosophy. The part of me that inspires the ‘Neither do I’ in my "Adrenaline Junkie afraid to die...doesn't make sense, neither do I" — it’s not just there for the rhyme! -In the shower[1] just now it hit me what that is. +In the shower[^1] just now it hit me what that is. It’s a Jekyll and Hyde philosophy. -Sometimes, I attempt optimism with earnest. I see the world for what it *could be*, rather than the twisted anarchy that it is. And I am fired to fight towards that. My philosophy in these times is all-encompassing, laid back and non-judgmental. I believe — truly believe — in a Utopian future.[2] +Sometimes, I attempt optimism with earnest. I see the world for what it *could be*, rather than the twisted anarchy that it is. And I am fired to fight towards that. My philosophy in these times is all-encompassing, laid back and non-judgmental. I believe — truly believe — in a Utopian future.[^2] -That’s my Jekyll philosophy. One of the best intentions.[3] +That’s my Jekyll philosophy. One of the best intentions.[^3] Then, I inevitably remember (or am reminded) [*Life is Shit*](https://medium.com/@WhereAngelsFearToTread/rainbows-lollipops-and-sunshine-498cdad1e3f). This is the spiteful, cynical, middle finger to the universe side of my splintered worldview. Where I see that its a goddamn miracle the human race hasn’t obliterated itself *already *and we’re all living on borrowed time. A philosophy that is malevolent and selfish. Shit sucks and all we can do is make the best of it. -But it also brings an anger — a futile rage against the universe that doesn’t give a shit. And a justified rage against The Powers That Be which don’t give a shit *either.[4]* +But it also brings an anger — a futile rage against the universe that doesn’t give a shit. And a justified rage against The Powers That Be which don’t give a shit *either.[^4]* That’s my Hyde philosophy. One of sometimes-righteous anger but shot through with wide cracks of black malice. @@ -41,12 +42,10 @@ Though if that were to happen, I don’t know which side would win. I don’t know which side I’d *want* to win, either. -[1] Why is it always the shower? I guess because its the only high-daydream activity we do regularly and consistently… +[^1]: Why is it always the shower? I guess because its the only high-daydream activity we do regularly and consistently… -[2] Equality [Ed. Note 2021: Nope. Meant equity!] for all and all that wonderful bollox. +[^2]: Equality [Ed. Note 2021: Nope. Meant equity!] for all and all that wonderful bollox. -[3] For all the good that intentions are… +[^3]: For all the good that intentions are… -[4] And anger is a veritable powerplant of energy, creative and otherwise. If it was good enough for Terry Pratchett, it is more than good enough for me. - - +[^4]: And anger is a veritable powerplant of energy, creative and otherwise. If it was good enough for Terry Pratchett, it is more than good enough for me. diff --git a/content/post/2021/12/stolenpast/index.md b/content/post/2021/12/stolenpast/index.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..87cb83d --- /dev/null +++ b/content/post/2021/12/stolenpast/index.md @@ -0,0 +1,32 @@ ++++ +categories = ["life"] +date = "2021-12-12T23:00:00.000Z" +layout = "post" +title = "A Stolen Past" +[[resources]] + name = "header thumbnail" + src = "**oliver-roos-PCNdauVPbjA-unsplash*" + [resources.params] + [resources.params.meta] + creator = "Oliver Roos" + license = "https://unsplash.com/license" + sameAs = "https://unsplash.com/photos/PCNdauVPbjA" ++++ + +Status quo, it is said, is latin for the mess that we are in. + +> You're always one decision away from a totally different life + +Those words are some of the most freeing I know. They help keep the wanderlust that runs through the fibers of my being placated...sober. I live as lightly as I can for good reason. Mostly because I have no other choice. + +Here's something that might be obvious about me. Faced with stability and with sanity, with things as they are; and faced equally with the unknown and the curious, the passionate and the novel I never even need think. It's all interlinked with [The Rush](post/2018/07/chasing-the-edge/), of course. That's not to say I *always* pursue the novel at the expense of all else, that would be foolish... even for me. + +Where was I? Ah, yeah. There's another quote that comes to mind here, though it will itself be the kernel of a full piece, eventually: + +> Be ruthless for your own wellbeing + +Life's too short not to live to the max, I (more than) believe that. And not to forget that there's always [a third way](post/2018/01/forging-a-path-into-the-web-of-unknown/). I am, as I've taken to saying, always thinking sideways. + +Choose slow death? Or choose Life? + +I choose Life. Are you with me? diff --git a/content/post/2021/12/stolenpast/oliver-roos-PCNdauVPbjA-unsplash.jpg b/content/post/2021/12/stolenpast/oliver-roos-PCNdauVPbjA-unsplash.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..52b5112 Binary files /dev/null and b/content/post/2021/12/stolenpast/oliver-roos-PCNdauVPbjA-unsplash.jpg differ diff --git a/content/post/2022/04/phoenix/esther-ann-nzftJsNv_GA-unsplash.jpg b/content/post/2022/04/phoenix/esther-ann-nzftJsNv_GA-unsplash.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..27f3ef5 Binary files /dev/null and b/content/post/2022/04/phoenix/esther-ann-nzftJsNv_GA-unsplash.jpg differ diff --git a/content/post/2022/04/phoenix/index.md b/content/post/2022/04/phoenix/index.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..352e167 --- /dev/null +++ b/content/post/2022/04/phoenix/index.md @@ -0,0 +1,32 @@ ++++ +categories = ["poetic"] +tags = ["fire"] +date = "2022-04-08T00:10:00.000Z" +layout = "post" +title = "Phoenix, Motherfucker" +description = "I'm immortal. You don't want to be." +[[resources]] + name = "header thumbnail" + src = "**esther-ann-nzftJsNv_GA-unsplash*" + [resources.params] + [resources.params.meta] + creator = "Esther Ann" + license = "https://unsplash.com/license" + sameAs = "https://unsplash.com/photos/nzftJsNv_GA" ++++ + +Think of a sickly, wounded bird. Faded grey. + +Then think of a fire licking up around it. A funeral pyre and also a celebration of (re)birth. + +A phoenix must die to rise. To be renewed. Consumed [in flame](/post/2021/12/newflame/) that does not hurt but heals. I like the way it burns. + +Partly because of [the great sieve I have in place of a brain](post/2018/01/some-things-stick/) I am immortal. I am a phoenix, motherfucker. If you want to beat me down, you're going to need a bigger stick. And more patience than there are stars in the sky. + +I live moment by moment. Breath by breath. Pain doesn't stick, but pleasure doesn't either. It's a different way to live, as unimaginable to you as the fact I have no minds eye (If you *can* imagine, reach out. We can be alone together). I rage against the dying of the light, yet there is nothing I can do. + +I must move forwards, because stillness is death. An endless restlessness that I wish on no one. + +I am not as I was. I shall not be as I am. Blink by blink I change faster than I can keep up with. Someday, perhaps I will find an iteration of myself I don't vehemently hate. + +Hate me? I empathise. (Oh to be able to turn these pretty/twisted words into song...)