Quantity of republishing

content/post/2018/01/angels-got-their-halos/index.markdown

@@ -0,0 +1,42 @@
++++
+title = "“The best way out is always through. Angels got their halos walking through the fires of hell”"
+date = "2018-01-21"
+categories = ["life"]
+tags = ["AL"]
+[[resources]]
+  name = "header thumbnail"
+  src = "**JU7deLCU5l54IDbLwO5M2A*"
+  [resources.params]
+    [resources.params.meta]
+      creator = "Mohamed Nohassi"
+      license = "https://unsplash.com/license"
+      sameAs = "https://unsplash.com/photos/UKX_DwNKXSA?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText"
++++
+
+Those are the words of someone who shattered my trust. And yet I still repeat those words like a mantra.
+
+Despite all she took from me, she gave me those words. Those words of power. Perhaps they were even worth all the pain. Perhaps. Because they are so fundamentally true. The only answer, when life sucks, is *keep going*.
+
+> “If you’re *going through hell*, keep going.” — *Winston Churchill*
+
+Churchill said it first, of course. But I prefer the Angels version. Not just because of the special meaning it holds to me, but for the extra emotional punch.
+
+Imagine an angel.
+
+A flawless angel beaten down by the fires of hell. Pristine white robe torn and charred, ragged edge trailing in the ashes. The faintest flicker of a halo of flame glimmering in the hazy air above her waterfall of spun-gold hair.
+
+White dove feathers of her wings burning merrily. Burning, yet remaining intact. Soft down transformed into blazing flame. Wings of fire. Wings of a phoenix.
+
+Imagine an angel walking through hell, reborn in the fire.
+
+Perhaps she chose her path. Likely, Life chose it for her in an absent minded toss of the dice.
+
+What she always has the choice in, however, is to keep going. Step after step, despite the fire.
+
+Take the path. Walk through the fire. Emerge as a phoenix.
+
+If fire still licks around you, remember — just *keep going.* You cannot go back — and to stop would invite the flame to consume you.
+
+<sup>*If only I were better at listening to what I preach…*</sup>
+
+  

content/post/2018/01/creativity-does-not-necessitate-originality/index.markdown

@@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
++++
+date = "2018-01-17"
+layout = "post"
+categories = ["life", "writing"]
+title = "Creativity does not necessitate originality"
+description = "Or: No good comes from a vacuum"
+[[resources]]
+  name = "header thumbnail"
+  src = "**J9SQ1JdVMe1pSB-jePs1z*"
+  [resources.params]
+    [resources.params.meta]
+      creator = "Greg Rakozy"
+      license = "https://unsplash.com/license"
+      sameAs = "https://unsplash.com/photos/oMpAz-DN-9I?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText"
++++
+Even the above statement is not original. (No, really…you’ll see…)
+
+All writers are influenced by what we read, whether conscious or unconscious. For example, my writing style takes several cues from Terry Pratchett, sometimes very deliberately.[^1] And there are no doubt countless unconscious influences feeding into my life in ways I don’t even realise.
+
+So in that sense I am in no way original. But in that same sense, it doesn’t **matter**.
+
+Stealing’s no good.[^2] But remixing is — has always been, will always *be* — the foundation of creativity.
+
+Creativity is naturally cyclical. Readers write, and writers read. After all, there are only three[^5] plots.
+
+It’s not just writing. Everyone is influenced by everything. Our imagination isn’t entirely our own — all media that we consume, all experiences that we have, every last thing that we see — gets thrown into one pot. Much like a baking recipe, the blend is original although the ingredients are not.
+
+Accepting the art of the remix is the first step on the journey to finding a voice **— YOUR** **voice**. Your personal experience (original by nature) will blend into everything else that shapes us as people, all those influences known and unknown.
+
+And that’s as original as it gets.
+
+So it’s a poorly kept secret my drafts section is overflowing. This is one more of those drafts finally being shoved out into the world. My original title was thus:
+
+![](1*Y6Sd0_RYfJ1GYeszDo8ZbQ.png)
+
+Then Medium dropped this on me:
+
+[**Don’t Worry About Being Original — Everything’s a Remix**  
+*One of the biggest limiting beliefs I run into when talking to aspiring writers or creators is that they don’t have…* medium.com](https://medium.com/personal-growth/dont-worry-about-being-original-everything-s-a-remix-6fbb06ab1683 "https://medium.com/personal-growth/dont-worry-about-being-original-everything-s-a-remix-6fbb06ab1683")[](https://medium.com/personal-growth/dont-worry-about-being-original-everything-s-a-remix-6fbb06ab1683)
+And here we stand. The same sentiment, much of the same words. Classic example of case-in-point, in a meta sense. Pleasingly neat, actually.
+
+[^1]: Footnotes being just one recently rediscovered example
+
+[^2]: Unless you’re Robin Hood[^3]
+
+[^3]: Sidenote[^4]: is a rhyme split across a sentence and its footnote still a rhyme?
+
+[^4]: Footnote, sidenote…notes aplenty…Dear oh dear.
+
+[^5]: Replace ‘three’ with *x* sub infinite number as appropriate. Doesn’t change the sentiment.
+
+  

content/post/2018/02/for-the-love-of-blood/index.markdown

@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 +++
 date = "2018-02-14"
 layout = "post"
-categories = ["semifiction"]
+categories = ["life", "me", "semifiction"]
 tags = ["AL"]
 title = "For the love of blood"
 [[resources]]

content/post/2018/02/meeting-my-match/index.markdown

@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
++++
+date = "2018-02-26"
+layout = "post"
+categories = ["fiction", "poetic"]
+title = "Meeting my match"
+[[resources]]
+  name = "header thumbnail"
+  src = "**HtuQdTpgJ7OV-GxNFaTMAA*"
++++
+
+  #### Quoted By The Goat
+
+#### Matchbox Quotes Day 49 [2018–02–26]
+
+> Igniting a duel of hearts  

content/post/2018/03/finding-your-voice/index.markdown

@@ -0,0 +1,56 @@
++++
+title = "Finding your voice"
+description = "Yours and only yours to claim…"
+date = "2018-03-28"
+categories = ["life", "writing"]
+[[resources]]
+  name = "header thumbnail"
+  src = "**ZFBkRUl5Z01iCAmXiEcdcA*"
+  [resources.params]
+    [resources.params.meta]
+      creator = "Vince Fleming"
+      license = "https://unsplash.com/license"
+      sameAs = "https://unsplash.com/photos/afrNpD1wKZU?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText"
++++
+
+I haven’t found my voice. I have, however, found *more of* it.
+
+I don’t often look back at my previous work. Partly because when I do all I see is flaws[1] but also because my views have changed so much. For a variety of reasons[4], my world has opened up in the past couple years.
+
+It’s more than that, though. My eyes haven’t just opened, so has my mouth. I’ve found a voice I never knew I had. Because now that I’ve found it I know that I’ve always had it. Buried, somewhere.
+
+I’m still finding it. My writing style is evolving with every piece I write. Most recently and most prominently is my mild-major obsession with footnotes. But also a half-conscious attempt to use less needlessly complex vocabulary.[5] After all, it is no good saying something if you can’t be understood…
+
+Medium has been a vital catalyst for that change, and I hope it continues to do so. And maybe one of these days I’ll get back to working on my novel[6]
+
+The point of my waxing lyrical about beginning to find my voice?
+
+An attempt to inspire you to do the same.
+
+Many of you here on Medium have already done so.
+
+But just as many, if not more, are just like me. In the process of finding their voice.[7]
+
+My voice which is mine and mine alone.
+
+Their voice that is theirs and theirs alone.
+
+Your voice which is yours alone.
+
+Speak out. Speak your mind. Nobody else will, because nobody else **can**.
+
+[1] This seems endemic to creative types[2] I wonder if there is a name for it…[3]
+
+[2] Hell, I still feel awkward labeling myself a ‘creative type’ and only do so because it seems technically correct. That and I’m increasingly discovering I’m not as much ‘logic type’ as previously thought.
+
+[3] ‘Being Human’, maybe…
+
+[4] A long and winding tale, filled with intrigue and deception. Glammed up and rammed into a sci-fi setting I could almost see myself writing it into a novel…I truly have been cursed to live in interesting times!
+
+[5] And just generally trying to take writing (and Life) just a little less bloody seriously!
+
+[6] That thing is perhaps the epitome of my changing voice — reading beginning to end is also reading chronologically across two years of my evolving style. Quite a ride…hence the heavy editing required!
+
+[7] Maybe we all are, always. Maybe those that look to me like they’ve found their voice have just honed the craft of finding it.
+
+  

content/post/2018/03/heres-to-the-twilight/index.markdown

@@ -0,0 +1,43 @@
++++
+title = "Here’s to the twilight times"
+date = "2018-03-20"
+categories = ["life"]
+[[resources]]
+  name = "header thumbnail"
+  src = "**gOXPMNusZEjRIFOr_ORqCw*"
+  [resources.params]
+    [resources.params.meta]
+      creator = "Max Langelott"
+      license = "https://unsplash.com/license"
+      sameAs = "https://unsplash.com/photos/Hw62tzAkXXE?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText"
++++
+
+Many people love the summer. It’s heat and relaxation.
+
+I’m not one of them. The heat melts my brain thoroughly. I find myself unable to think, let alone do. Which is all well and good on holiday, but otherwise a pain. And *dear* *god* the hayfever from all of these goddamn plants. Cluttering up the place looking pretty and producing lifegiving oxygen…how dare they!
+
+Some people love winter. Crisp cold, and crisper snow.
+
+I’m not one of them. As someone who is not a patient traveller — if I have a destination in mind I like to be there quickly[1] — snow is irritating to infuriating. Plus it stops me from getting astride my motorcycle, and anything that does that *cannot* be good.
+
+And the cold. The cold seeps into my bones and I feel like I’m never warm all winter long.[2]
+
+So sod summer. And sod winter.
+
+Here’s to the twilight times. The springs, and the autumns.
+
+Spring is the thawing of the world. Fields of green rising from the frozen waste, phoenix-like.
+
+Autumn is the herald of winter. And herald it does, with sharp fireblossom colours of dying leaves that so sharply contrast the bleak white snows to come.
+
+Unlike Winter and Summer, Spring and Autumn have more in common than not. They are the blurred lines. A fading transition drawn out over months. Between Cold Dark and Bright Fire.
+
+Best of all, they don’t overstay their welcome.
+
+[1] If I don’t, that’s another matter entirely. Not all who wander are lost.
+
+[2] This may have something to do with having not heating at home for the past several years. Why? Because it isn’t quite cold enough for it to really *need[3] *to be fixed. Certainly cold enough to make me damn grumpy, though!
+
+[3] Need as in…if you don’t fix it you’re going to actually *freeze*
+
+  

content/post/2018/04/jekyll-and-hyde/index.markdown

@@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
++++
+title = "Jekyll and Hyde Philosophy"
+description = "Torn between the bad and the ugly"
+date = "2018-04-30"
+categories = ["life", "me", "philosophy"]
+[[resources]]
+  name = "header thumbnail"
+  src = "**y1NXI-alfOz6PgFt2VvP3A*"
+  [resources.params]
+    [resources.params.meta]
+      creator = "Wendy Scofield"
+      license = "https://unsplash.com/license"
+      sameAs = "https://unsplash.com/photos/TjfQR3JgGG8?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText"
++++
+
+I’ve mused before about my irreconcilable dual philosophy. The part of me that inspires the ‘Neither do I’ in my bio [Ed. Note 2021: Bio previously read 'Adrenaline Junkie afraid to die. Doesn't make sense? Neither do I!'] — it’s not just there for the rhyme!
+
+In the shower[1] just now it hit me what that is.
+
+It’s a Jekyll and Hyde philosophy.
+
+Sometimes, I attempt optimism with earnest. I see the world for what it *could be*, rather than the twisted anarchy that it is. And I am fired to fight towards that. My philosophy in these times is all-encompassing, laid back and non-judgmental. I believe — truly believe — in a Utopian future.[2]
+
+That’s my Jekyll philosophy. One of the best intentions.[3]
+
+Then, I inevitably remember (or am reminded) [*Life is Shit*](https://medium.com/@WhereAngelsFearToTread/rainbows-lollipops-and-sunshine-498cdad1e3f).
+
+This is the spiteful, cynical, middle finger to the universe side of my splintered worldview. Where I see that its a goddamn miracle the human race hasn’t obliterated itself *already *and we’re all living on borrowed time. A philosophy that is malevolent and selfish. Shit sucks and all we can do is make the best of it.
+
+But it also brings an anger — a futile rage against the universe that doesn’t give a shit. And a justified rage against The Powers That Be which don’t give a shit *either.[4]*
+
+That’s my Hyde philosophy. One of sometimes-righteous anger but shot through with wide cracks of black malice.
+
+And so I am. And so I am torn.
+
+Trapped and torn between two inconceivably opposed world views. Thinking one thing one moment, and the opposite the next. It is confusing and infuriating.
+
+So I half hope that one side eventually wins this impossible war.
+
+Though if that were to happen, I don’t know which side would win.
+
+I don’t know which side I’d *want* to win, either.
+
+[1] Why is it always the shower? I guess because its the only high-daydream activity we do regularly and consistently…
+
+[2] Equality [Ed. Note 2021: Nope. Meant equity!] for all and all that wonderful bollox.
+
+[3] For all the good that intentions are…
+
+[4] And anger is a veritable powerplant of energy, creative and otherwise. If it was good enough for Terry Pratchett, it is more than good enough for me.
+
+  

content/post/2018/05/we-fell-too-hard/index.markdown

@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
++++
+title = "we fell too hard too fast"
+date = "2018-05-06"
+categories = ["poetic", "fiction"]
+[[resources]]
+  name = "header thumbnail"
+  src = "**bgClHJxffITMMUiAHTK5WQ*"
+  [resources.params]
+    [resources.params.meta]
+      creator = "Ayko Kehl"
+      license = "https://unsplash.com/license"
+      sameAs = "https://unsplash.com/photos/N7lk60VTFfQ?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText"
++++
+
+we fell too hard too fast
+
+shattered too finely
+
+an exquisite fracturing
+
+  

content/post/2018/06/is-self-reflection-enough/index.markdown

@@ -0,0 +1,34 @@
++++
+title = "Is self reflection enough?"
+date = "2018-06-13"
+categories = ["life", "me"]
+[[resources]]
+  name = "header thumbnail"
+  src = "**X6EM9sYgei-wM70Z3IoGxw*"
++++
+
+I’ve been doing a lot (a whole lot!) of self reflection lately. It’s probably *reflected* — Hah! (Sorry[^1]) — in my writings.
+
+I’m trying to figure out *who I am*. And [*what I* ***do***](https://medium.com/@WhereAngelsFearToTread/obviously-im-biased-but-80778a2de71e). Big questions. But ones I want answers to.
+
+Not least because of the series of relationship explosions I’ve undergone recently. In particular I’m trying to identify and neutralise toxic behaviours I either already had or developed in those relationships.
+
+I’m pretty sure I’m badly codependent. Which needs to change. I also have a major tendency to jump ahead of myself when I should be rolling with the punches.[^2] But I don’t know exactly how. Which loops quite neatly to the title.
+
+I’ve been looking inward. Balancing it with looking outward. Trying to let a *little* more positivity bleed into the darkness.[^3]
+
+Trying really damn hard to be more mindful, more grateful.
+
+All of that is good. But is it enough? Can I do this — whatever *this* is — alone?
+
+I don’t know. Which is another thing I’m working at being better at — admitting when I’m wrong or don’t know. Which is a lot of the time when *this* is involved.
+
+I guess I’m just trying to be a better person. Something I should be able to manage alone. In theory. I don’t know.
+
+[^1]: I’m not.
+
+[^2]: I don’t mean that inherently negatively as it implies. *Going with the flow *just isn’t violent enough for me. On second thoughts maybe I *do*.
+
+[^3]: Sometimes.
+
+  

content/post/2018/06/on-labels/index.markdown

@@ -0,0 +1,49 @@
++++
+title = "On labels"
+description = "Another double edged philosophy"
+date = "2018-10-25"
+categories = ["life", "me"]
+[[resources]]
+  name = "header thumbnail"
+  src = "**4hLg_xEJR-4deFWCq-U8dg*"
++++
+
+Labels are great. They help organise things, like files. They underpin organisation and sorting systems. Categorisation.
+
+Labels get tricky when applied to things that defy categorisation. People.
+
+On the one hand, labeling people is super handy. Provided that the label is accurate — and the only way to guarantee that is if it is self applied. For example I label myself a ‘gearhead’ because it’s a convenient way to convey an area of my interests.
+
+Labels help like minded people find each other. Help communities form. They are used to convey, in some small way, who we are. A bio with a bunch of labels tells much more - after all a label is just a certain kind of symbol.
+
+Labels help. But only when they are not used to reinforce the oh so pervasive ‘Us vs Them’ mentality.
+
+You can’t sort people by labels, even those they’ve proudly stuck on themselves.
+
+Recognising that people are different and categorising them are worlds apart. Because one depends on seeing the person first, and the other the labels first.
+
+I see people, not tags.
+
+As far as luck goes I’ve got a pretty good lot. And I’m trying to be mindful enough to be grateful for it.
+
+But gratitude won’t do. I am trying to become an Ally to those less fortunate. I’m still working on being better at it — but that’s Life , I suppose.
+
+On a separate but related note as it were, I have a new label for myself.
+
+I am hetroflexible. Maybe even bi. [Ed. note 2021: Pan, these days! 🏳️‍🌈] The truth is I’m not quite sure.
+
+‘Confused’ feels like the most valid label, but I’m concerned that it would be interpreted as ‘making light’ of a serious issue. For want of a better word. Anyway!
+
+Am I leveraging that declaration to make a point? Yes, a little bit. Is it justified? I think so.
+
+Because my point is thus:
+
+Us. Never *Them*. Remember the person.
+
+With one exception. Which I suppose is the real double bladed part of the philosophy. Almost hypocritical. But you should be used to that by now.
+
+Anyway. The exception. Those that wield labels like weapons. See themselves as better than anyone else. To them I say…
+
+**Fuck Off**
+
+  

content/post/2018/10/how-to-be-invincible/index.markdown

@@ -0,0 +1,74 @@
++++
+title = "How to be invincible"
+description = "A beginners guide to the impossible"
+date = "2018-10-25"
+categories = ["life", "fiction"]
+[[resources]]
+  name = "header thumbnail"
+  src = "**pzsYIBePPPQEwLMa9ubftA*"
+  [resources.params]
+    [resources.params.meta]
+      creator = "Matt Atherton"
+      license = "https://unsplash.com/license"
+      sameAs = "https://unsplash.com/photos/zuEjcqGWVBc?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText"
++++
+
+Authors' note: I reckons that should say “Trust your gut, cuddle a cat and slam tequila” But that wasn’t on Unsplash…
+
+Three years ago, I never would have thought that I could write a novel. Let alone write on in **thirty days**.
+
+That’s right, it’s almost that time of year again! November is fast becoming one of my favourite months — not just because of Halloween and the fireworks, but the novelling. This year I’ve been particularly fierce in my quest to get people to join me on the mad journey — and have been met with reasonable success. This is another slab in that road.
+
+#### An impossible goal
+
+Pick something. Anything at all really. But preferably something completely insane.
+
+Something so far out your comfort zone it makes your heartbeat spike slightly just considering it.
+
+Forget exposure therapy, this is *shock* *therapy*.¹
+
+There is only one way to truly prove to yourself you are capable of your dreams, and that is to do the impossible. Like, for example — writing 50,000 words in a month.
+
+That’s 1667 words a day. For a whole month. Which to some — nay most — of you probably sounds like a lot. To me? Doesn’t sound like much. Because I’ve *done it*. Got the T shirt.²
+
+**Showing up**
+
+The most difficult part of doing the impossible is not starting — but finishing. And finishing entails making steps towards that deliberately far off goal *every damn day*.
+
+1667 words a day is pretty easy. Sorry³, but it is. It’s repeating that *pretty easy *1667 words every day for thirty days straight that’s hard. And it is *hard*. Showing up every day and writing a couple words is hard, let alone the best part of two thousand.
+
+It’s hard, but it is not impossible. 50,000 words in a month is impossible (or *sounds it*) but 1667 words a day for thirty days? That sounds a lot more manageable, doesn’t it?
+
+So show up. That’s all the ‘secret’ there is, to writing — and to doing anything else *im*possible.
+
+**Victory**
+
+If you commit to your goal, if you grind away at it every day for as long as it takes, you will succeed. I can’t tell you the secrets of how exactly to do that — because truth be told I don’t have a *damn clue* just yet — but I can promise you success if you do.
+
+Sure, talent helps. But it is a crutch, not a spine.
+
+Perseverance is a solid foundation on which to build anything. Anything at all, including the impossible. Figure that out, in whatever way works for you — and *you* can write a novel in a month.
+
+Do enough impossible things, and you’ll begin to believe that they aren’t so impossible. That there is no such thing *as* impossible.⁴
+
+That’s all there is to it. There is no secret sauce, and anyone who tries to sell you any can fuck off. The way to do things is just to *do *them. Sounds stupid when written like that maybe — but that’s all perseverance really means.
+
+It’s how I wrote a novel in a month, and it is how **you** can too. Or anything else insane you can set your mind to.
+
+Do enough impossible things and you will be invincible. Simple.⁵
+
+¹ Not the electrical kind, unless you have *really* odd aspirations…
+
+² Well no, I didn’t actually. Because I’m a cheap bastard…
+
+³ Am I ever.
+
+⁴ Bar, obviously, things that are impossible in physics etc. I’m talking about things that *seem *impossible to our minds and calling them such for effect. Obviously.
+
+⁵ That is what I promised you after all, isn’t it? How to be invincible? And if you can do the impossible, then you must be invincible…right?⁶
+
+⁶ Don’t tell me you were actually looking for *immortality.* Because if you were, fuck *right* off.⁷ You *actually thought* I’d publish the secret to that on *Medium*, for *free*?! Hah.
+
+⁷ But come right back if you find it somewhere else. *Please?*
+
+