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content/posts/_drafts/2018-07-07-chasing-the-edge.markdown

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+layout:	post
+title:	"Chasing the Edge"
+date:	2018-07-07
+---
+
+  ![](/img/1*CoN8gAcwONSumYsaadY8HQ.jpeg)The Edge is that which lights. That which sets the blood pumping. That which sparks the soul.
+
+The Edge is the edge between life and death.
+
+Chasing the Edge leads to the Rush.
+
+The Rush is the fire lit from the Edge. The thump of heart pumping at the Edge. The blaze of soul sparked at the Edge.
+
+The Rush is adrenaline, nothing more — nothing less.
+
+It is also the only way I know how to *Live*.
+
+I don’t know how to feel other than the Rush. All I have is the Edge.
+
+The Edge makes me feel alive. Always have…always will…
+
+Of course, the thing about the Edge is it has to be dangerous. Else it wouldn’t *be *the Edge!
+
+Chasing the Rush is just like chasing the wind. Exciting, but ultimately futile. Each time it hits just a little less. Boosts just a little less. So I push closer to the Edge. One step, one step at a time. Chasing leaves on the breeze, head wired upwards. Couldn’t see the cliff coming up if I wanted to.
+
+Addiction.
+
+Addiction and…craving.
+
+I cannot feel satisfaction. Even at the Edge, there is no satisfaction. Always demand for MORE, MORE, *MORE*. Ever greater hits, ever greater heights.
+
+Sooner or later, it’ll kill me. Maybe then it’ll be satisfied. The Edge will have drawn the blood it demands. Maybe then *I’ll* be satisfied.
+
+