diff --git a/_posts/2016-09-14-is-a-human-mind-in-a-robot-body-still-human.markdown b/_posts/2016-09-14-is-a-human-mind-in-a-robot-body-still-human.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7400e33 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-09-14-is-a-human-mind-in-a-robot-body-still-human.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,23 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Is a human mind in a robot body still…human?" +date: 2016-09-14 +--- + + ![](/img/1*g4r9o-a8brYBYv_ZefZ88g.jpeg)The question posed in the title is a particular example of a wider question: What makes us human? Are we nothing but the sum of our parts, or is there something more to it? + +I believe that consciousness and self-awareness is what defines a ‘self’. Put another way, to be ‘you’ necessitates knowledge that you are ‘you’. Unlike some, I do not believe our physical bodies play any part in defining who or what we are. + +And hence the question. Were a human mind to be transplanted into a robotic body, would that person still be the same? Still be human? That is, if you accept in the first place that there is a greater meaning, a quality that can be possessed, that makes us who we are. Personally, I say absolutely. + +For the sake of argument, postulate that the mechanical body has a ‘brain’ that is structurally identical to the human brain the consciousness was transferred from. Surely it would be nonsensical to argue that somehow the trait of ‘humanity’ has been lost in the movement. Perhaps not… + +The possibility of something more than just consciousness can also be entertained. The concept of a ‘soul’. Removed from its religious context, the idea of a soul is simply the concept of an immaterial facet to human existence. Perhaps synthesised by our consciousness, perhaps existing naturally like our physical body. Maybe even God-given, if you’re into that sort of thing. + +The presence of a soul could complicate the original question considerably, dependent on beliefs about its origin. I would say that it is more likely for the soul to be dependent on our consciousness than our physical body. There’s no evidence for nor against a soul’s existence, and thus I remain largely agnostic to the concept. + +Certainly there is a part of me that likes to believe in a ‘spark’. Somewhat unscientific, but…pleasing. + +*Originally published on *[*Blogger*](http://ift.tt/2cy04BR) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-07-a-crash-course-in-net-neutrality--and-why-we-must-defend-it.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-07-a-crash-course-in-net-neutrality--and-why-we-must-defend-it.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f515fb0 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-07-a-crash-course-in-net-neutrality--and-why-we-must-defend-it.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,25 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "A crash course in Net Neutrality (and why we must defend it)" +date: 2016-10-07 +--- + + ![](/img/0*xxYAJONBfX8c5s8Q.)You may have heard the term ‘net neutrality’ mentioned in the media. Net neutrality is one of the fundamental principles of the Internet we know today. Essentially, it means that the companies and organisations providing the infrastructure that is the backbone of the world wide web must treat all traffic passing through their networks equally. I believe that net neutrality is very much worth fighting for, because without it the Internet would not be the breeding ground of creativity and originality it is today. For this reason, I along with many other Internet users believe net neutrality to be worth defending. Read on for a more in-depth look at why. +  +This may sound like a petty issue in comparison to the other issues today’s world faces, such as climate change, and the refugee crisis and to a certain extent it is. However, it is my belief (alongside others) that the Internet will be a key tool in combating these issues, allowing people to connect and create like never before. I firmly believe that equal access to the Internet for all is a net positive for the human race, and net neutrality is required for this to occur. +  +The principle of net neutrality says that that governments and ISPs (internet service providers) should treat all internet traffic equally, regardless of any circumstance, such as who the user is or the application being used. The term was coined in 2003 by an American media law professor. It allows for an Internet that allows for and protects free speech, by preventing ISPs from controlling what you can view online. People would be outraged if phone companies began to attempt to police what people said on their phone networks, yet don’t realise the issue of net neutrality is very similar, the difference being the platform of communication. +  +May 2014 was when the chairman of the FCC, the Federal Communications Commission, which is responsible for the regulation of the Internet in America, published a plan which would have vaporised net neutrality. Thanks to (Internet-based) campaigns supported by websites like Reddit, and organisations such as the EFF, millions of people spoke out against this, and the original proposal was dropped. Instead, on February 26th, 2015, the FCC approved a new set of rules that would protect net neutrality. This was a victory for activists that had been fighting for a decade. It voted to reclassify the Internet under what is known in America as Title II of the Communications Act. This is a strong legal footing for the open Internet, but it’s not indomitable. However, winning one battle does not mean you’ve won the war. Now that these rules are in place, ISPs are doing everything they can to undermine them. They have friends in the American Congress, whom we have termed Team Cable, and are trying to call in favours with them to change the ruling. Furthermore, there are ten lawsuits now open in the US which aim to topple the ruling, or remove the FCC’s ability to enforce it. We must continue to fight to protect the open Internet. +  +To help you understand why I believe net neutrality to be worth defending I will build a vision of a world in which the concept of net neutrality has been forgotten. Without net neutrality, internet service providers could create expensive fast lanes. They could block people from expressing political opinions they disagree with. The destruction of net neutrality would not only affect individuals, but also companies. For example, ISPs would be allowed to ask streaming services to pay them to ensure that their service was fast for the users. This would prevent the creation and growth of new Internet-based companies to a large extent, as they would not be able to pay the ISPs to ensure their content can be accessed by the users. The Internet creates a level playing field, which ensures that technology giants and new startups are for the most part treated equally. +  +Convinced that net neutrality should be defended? Read on. +  +Unfortunately, due to the global nature of the Internet, it can sometimes be difficult for all of the people a decision about the Internet affects to take action. This is because much of the Internet is hosted on servers based in America — therefore decisions made within America about net neutrality affect a large portion of the Internet. Naturally, it is difficult for people outside of the US to voice their opinion on these. However, there is still action you can take. One of the easiest ways is to sign this petition: [http://act.freepress.net/sign/internet\_nn\_congress\_defend/](http://act.freepress.net/sign/internet_nn_congress_defend/) to tell the US Congress to defend the victory we won for net neutrality. +  +Remember, without net neutrality, we may not have had many of the household names we all know today. Perhaps Mark Zuckerberg wouldn’t have been able to afford to pay ISPs to ensure that traffic to his new site, Facebook, wasn’t buried by existing competitors. As much as I hate to admit it, a world without Facebook would be a very different one. Perhaps Netflix would be forced to close if ISPs were allowed to charge them for the high traffic its users create. So take action now and keep the Internet free and open. + +*Originally published at *[*www.thenetworkhe.com*](http://www.thenetworkhe.com/net-neutrality.html)*.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-07-getting-started-with-the-lenovo-tab-s8.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-07-getting-started-with-the-lenovo-tab-s8.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7d23be4 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-07-getting-started-with-the-lenovo-tab-s8.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,36 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Getting Started with the Lenovo Tab S8" +date: 2016-10-07 +--- + + ![](/img/0*U5c5uoMWo4iCyi_S.)Anything iOS can do, Android can do, your way. My school has begun a policy of issuing Android tablets to students and so I thought I’d write an article about some tips and tricks for those who are new to Android, and recommend some great apps. While the hardware in the Lenovos is pretty great, I found the default software to be somewhat lacking. +  +First up, some minor tips: + +* To take a screenshot, press and hold power and volume down simultaneously. +* Using apps without ever leaving your home screen is a major advantage of Android over iOS. Try adding some by selecting the widgets button on the app organisation screen. +* Much like ‘Hey Siri’ on iOS, you can use ‘Ok, Google’ to activate a voice search hands free. +Now, onto apps. Android is the market leader when it comes to customisability, mostly thanks to everything being switchable in app format — your keyboard, lockscreen and homescreen (what Android calls a Launcher) — which can all be swapped out for versions downloaded from the Play Store like any other app. +  +As a result, my first app recommendation is ‘Swiftkey’. This is an incredibly powerful and highly customisable keyboard that learns from what you type, and changes its text predictions accordingly. You can import Facebook posts, tweets, and other social media posts to help it learn your writing style. For example, I’ve been using it for a little over a day, and it can already suggest my email and username when I need it. It includes ‘continuous gesture typing’ too — this takes a little while to get used to, but is very good when you do. Try clicking on the first letter of a word you want to type, continuing to hold and then moving to the next letter and so on. You usually don’t have to type the whole word. The word that appears in the predictive typing bar will be automatically inserted when you release. There’s a variety of settings for you to experiment with yourself, such as allowing the number bar to be present above the alphabet keyboard. You can change the theme too. +  +‘Evernote’, a very competent note taking app, is preinstalled on the Lenovos, but I prefer to organise todo lists with a separate app called ‘Wunderlist’. It performs its main task very well, and has all the bells and whistles like deadlines and launcher widgets too. Not only that, it’s a very pretty app to boot. +  +If you regularly switch between a computer and tablet or other mobile device as I do, ‘Pushbullet’ is very helpful for integrating the two. It allows you to quickly send links, documents and text snippets between your devices. The app has a variety of extra features too, like universal copy and paste: copy something on one device and paste it on another seamlessly and showing notifications that come through on your tablet on your computer. I use this to show snapchat notifications on my laptop, since snapchat is the only social media still missing a desktop app. +  +For security, I have an app called ‘Prey’ installed on all of my mobile devices and my laptop. It allows me to remotely track, lock, send messages as well as carrying out a myriad of other useful functions should one of these devices be lost or stolen. It’s all carried out through a very pretty web interface, and tracking up to three devices is totally free. +  +Lastly for this article, is choosing a Launcher. The Launcher is where the rest of your apps live, and thus is quite important. The default launcher on the Lenovo tablets is designed by Lenovo themselves, and is very similar to iOS. It therefore may suffice for some people. +  +I personally am almost never satisfied with the defaults, and so installed Google’s own launcher — called ‘Google Now Launcher’ almost immediately. This launcher works very well if you are as deeply integrated into Google’s ecosystem as I am, as the more information Google has about you, the more useful the launcher can make itself. At first glance, it looks like a prettier version of the default launcher. However, if you swipe left from the leftmost app screen, you reach a dedicated screen for Google Now. Google Now is a predictive assistant showing you things like recommended reading links. It also learns the location of your home and work (in this case school) and calculates travel time between them. Third party apps can also add ‘cards’ to this screen. Naturally, the less information you give to Google, the less helpful Google Now can be — so if you value your privacy highly this perhaps isn’t the launcher for you. +  +Nevertheless, even the Google Now Launcher wasn’t customisable enough for my tastes. I eventually settled on the Total Launcher, which allows total control over pretty much everything, and even allows me to create custom widgets of my own. However, I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone but a power user and customisation freak like myself! +  +Overall, I hope I’ve demonstrated Android’s major advantages over iOS, and highlighted some useful apps, especially for those that love to tweak and customise like me. I’ve always been an iOS user but Android admirer, and a few days with the Android tablet has turned me into a full Android convert. The only thing I’ve found so far that Android doesn’t do quite as well as iOS is play nicely with my Macbook, but that’s Apple’s fault not Google’s. As my quest to tweak my tablet exactly how I like it continues, I’m likely write at least one more article in the future highlighting the best apps I find along the way. I’m not satisfied until my device and layout is totally unique. With all the options out there, nor should you be! +  +Warning: customisation can be addictive, and encourage procrastination. + +*Originally published at *[*www.thenetworkhe.com*](http://www.thenetworkhe.com/lenovo.html)*.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-07-one-life--live-it.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-07-one-life--live-it.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2db2a82 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-07-one-life--live-it.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,25 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "One Life. Live it." +date: 2016-10-07 +--- + + ![](/img/1*gVlp1MBV6TcUVUboCMdTIQ.jpeg)Photo credit Viktor Forgacs via **One Life. Live it.** + +The proposed existence of an afterlife is irrelevant to this current existence, in short. + +There are two main possibilities. Either the afterlife exists, or doesn’t. Let’s take possibility one, it doesn’t. Well, presumably if it does not, after you die, you just cease to exist. This sounds scary at first, except by definition it…cannot be. If you have ceased to exist, you therefore **cannot **be aware of the cessation in your existence…by the very fact you have ceased to exist. So, thereby if the afterlife doesn’t exist, it doesn’t matter. + +The other possibility is naturally that the afterlife does exist. And if it does, you will acquire the knowledge of its existence upon entering it. And so, the question of the afterlife doesn’t matter in this possibility, because it will be answered when it is most important. + +There is no point spending this life worrying about the next. + +This theory does have a number of caveats, such as the concept held by many religions which is that you must live a good life in order to pass to the next. Firstly, everyone should be trying to live a good life in the first place, irrelevant of the consequences an afterlife might bring. Secondly, this life is certain. The next is not. (discarding for the sake of brevity ideas about The Matrix) + +Furthermore, what kind of supposedly omnibenevolent God/Supreme Being would inflict *eternal *suffering and torment in return for *temporary *sins in this world? What sin could one commit to deserve literally infinite suffering? + +*“The only thing you can really control is how you react to things outside your control”* — Bassam Tarazi + +*Originally published at *[*blog.aronajones.com*](http://blog.aronajones.com/2015/11/why-afterlife-should-it-exist-doesnt.html)*. Redited (heavily) to improve clarity.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-07-the-future-is-fusion--and-it-s-getting-closer.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-07-the-future-is-fusion--and-it-s-getting-closer.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9799ffc --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-07-the-future-is-fusion--and-it-s-getting-closer.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,32 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "The future is fusion. And it’s getting closer." +date: 2016-10-07 +--- + + ![](/img/1*0BVEEdZ8rxW73_2EDEcQmA.jpeg)*Update: On 10th December WX-7 successfully generated it’s first plasma, containing it for a tenth of a second. Such as short time is still highly significant — it proves it works! The next step is longer and longer bursts. This could be history in the making.* + +**What is nuclear fusion?** + +Nuclear fusion is the process behind all life. It’s the engine that drives the stars themselves. In nuclear fusion, hydrogen is fused into helium, a process which releases a large amount of energy. Due to the efficiency of this process, development of nuclear fusion reactors has been in development for a long time. We are still quite a way from commercialisation, but the newest research reactor, dubbed *WX-7*, is an important step in the right direction. + +Nuclear fusion requires incredibly high temperatures to occur. Hundreds of millions of degrees in fact. Temperatures at which atoms transcend the normal three states of matter to become superheated plasma. This plasma is usually created by using lasers to heat gas. Then there’s the problem of confining (and keeping warm) the incredibly hot matter. This is done traditionally through strong electromagnets and induction (creation, effectively) of a current within the plasma. +  +**The two designs of fusion reactors** +Commonly, nuclear fusion reactors are built to confine the plasma in a donut shape, a design known as a tokamak. This design requires the aforementioned induction of a current within the plasma, which can cause it to break containment and damage the reactor, meaning reactors of this design cannot be run for very long, and certainly not long enough to be energy efficient. It takes enormous energy to begin the fusion reaction, and considerably less to maintain it, so fusion reactors need to run for longer than the current few minute bursts that are possible now if there are to be energy efficient. +  +The other design is much more complex and holds the plasma in a ‘twisted’ donut. As a result, many more magnets are required, and it is more complex to build. However, it does not require that an electrical field be induced in the plasma. This should allow reactors of this design to run for much longer periods of time. +  +**WX-7, and what it means** +The WX-7 (short for Wendelstein 7-X) is the largest stellarator in the world at a diameter of 16 metres. It took nineteen years and £715 million (one billion euros) to complete, and contains over 400 tons of superconducting magnets! Thanks to all of this, it should be able to contain the plasma for a period of thirty minutes, smashing the current record of six minutes and thirty seconds held by the French reactor, *Tore Supra* of the tokamak design. This may even be long enough to have a net positive energy output, although not a significant one. +  +The reactor’s construction was recently completed, and is at the time of writing awaiting authorisation for activation from the German nuclear safety authority. It should be activated before the month is out. If successful, it will be a major step towards clean and cheap fusion power. If not, hopefully we can learn from it and continue to move forward, if slower. The future, however, is bright. (Pun absolutely intended!) +  +Further reading: + + + + +*Originally published at *[*www.thenetworkhe.com*](http://www.thenetworkhe.com/wx-7-reactor.html)*.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-07-the-science-behind-sleep.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-07-the-science-behind-sleep.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..453e9c4 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-07-the-science-behind-sleep.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,27 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "The Science behind Sleep" +date: 2016-10-07 +--- + + ![](/img/1*SBWvZhLpcMUUAQK4pVD4_Q.jpeg)Sleep. We all need it, we really notice when we don’t get enough of it, and some need more of it than others. But what is the science behind this everyday act? + +You will spend around a third of your life asleep. This means if you live to be ninety years old, you will spend about thirty of those years asleep! But this is not the inactive time it might first appear to be. Scientists still don’t agree on why we need sleep; some say it is memory related while others suggest it is about clearing toxins from the brain. + +All humans, mammals and most other animals need to sleep regularly to survive. In mammals and birds, sleep can be divided into two types: REM (rapid eye movement) and NREM (non-rapid eye movement) sleep. REM-sleep usually occurs periodically throughout a night and is typically when dreams occur. As the name suggests, our eyes move rapidly during REM-sleep. NREM-sleep has four stages, the first being very light dozing, the second being light sleep, and stages three and four are deep sleep. Adult humans typically spend around half of their time asleep in light sleep. + +Due to the way REM-sleep occurs periodically throughout the night, we sleep in cycles, in which we typically go through the stages of NREM-sleep, and then into REM-sleep for a while until the cycle begins again. In a full night’s sleep, four or five of these cycles may occur. Forcing ourselves to wake up in the middle of a cycle using an alarm can leave us feeling groggy and tired, whereas waking up at the end of a cycle allows us to be alert and generally feeling more refreshed. The website is a useful tool for calculating when you need to go to sleep (not go to bed!) to wake up at the end of a cycle. Furthermore, if you keep the time at which you get up each day regular, it will help you sleep better — if your body knows what time it should be waking up, it can ‘prepare’ for this, and therefore allowing you to wake up faster, and be more alert. + +The timing of sleep is controlled by an internal clock within our brain, known as the circadian clock. Humans can also affect the time at which they sleep through behaviour — most of us can force ourselves not to sleep, although generally can’t force ourselves to sleep. The circadian clock has a just over 24 hour cycle, and causes rhythmic increases and decreases in body temperature. The circadian clock also causes increased release of melatonin at night. This clock influences the time at which sleep will be most effective, meaning that for most of us it is most beneficial to sleep at night, since this is when our circadian clock will cause our body temperature to be lowest. The clock’s cycle is heavily influenced by light, since this is the main indicator of time. Indeed, scientists have discovered short pulses of light (blue light being the most effective) at a specific time during the cycle can reset the clock. Modern humans often find themselves out of sync with the internal clock, due to night shifts, the widespread nature of indoor lighting and long-distance travel. If we become desynced like this, we can have difficulty sleeping even when we need to. This desynchronisation is a major contributing factor to the phenomenon known as jet lag. + +In general, adults need over eight hours of sleep a day, and children and teenagers are recommended to get nine or ten hours. The time at which you can fall asleep best varies, although scientists have noticed a tendency for teenagers to prefer going to bed and waking up later. The reasons for this trend are still unclear. What we do know however, is that it is very important to get enough high quality sleep. Sleep quality can be improved by avoiding eating before bed as, after a meal, the body is engaged in digestion. Stimulants like coffee can keep us awake for longer, but can also cause us to have poor quality sleep when we do sleep. Stress can also contribute to poor sleep. + +If you do lose sleep, you will go into what is termed sleep debt, which needs to be paid back like any other debt. If you lose a large amount of sleep in a short amount of time, it can be paid back by getting an extra hour or two of sleep each night. Furthermore, you can pay off long term sleep debt you may have accumulated over a period of a few weeks by going to bed at a set time, and allowing yourself to wake naturally, rather than using an alarm. + +The amount of sleep, and the depth with which you take it, varies greatly from person to person. Personally, I’m a very heavy sleeper. I once slept through a storm that woke the rest of my family, and I’m told most of the rest of the street. As a consequence, I can usually be perfectly alert on only seven hours sleep, and indeed generally naturally wake up after sleeping for that long. Additionally, unlike many other people, I can’t nap — once I’m up, I’m up. In contrast to me, some people can be very light sleepers, woken by the slightest noise or movement. Scientists still don’t yet know what causes these variations. + +Overall, in some ways, we know more about the surface of Mars than we do about sleep! We still don’t know exactly why we need it, what all of its functions are, or why it varies for different people. All we know for fairly certain is its importance, and how we can improve our sleep quality. We also know that quality is more important than quantity when it comes to sleep, just like an essay. Just as we continue to discover more about the world around us, whether that be the depths of our oceans or the far reaches of space, scientists will continue to investigate the mechanics and reasons for sleep. In the meantime, sleep will continue to be a generally unnoticed part of (almost) everyone’s day, an ever-present but complex process. + +*Originally published at *[*www.thenetworkhe.com*](http://www.thenetworkhe.com/science-of-sleep.html)*.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-07-weaponised-lasers--doomed-to-stay-confined-to-the-realm-of-sci-fi--or-poised-to-become-tangible.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-07-weaponised-lasers--doomed-to-stay-confined-to-the-realm-of-sci-fi--or-poised-to-become-tangible.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fe319d6 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-07-weaponised-lasers--doomed-to-stay-confined-to-the-realm-of-sci-fi--or-poised-to-become-tangible.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,32 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Weaponised Lasers: doomed to stay confined to the realm of sci-fi, or poised to become tangible?" +date: 2016-10-07 +--- + + ![](/img/0*41tEtt1IT7eOcPZH.)Laser-based weaponry has been a staple of sci-fi since the invention of the conventional laser in 1960, despite the real-world laser’s current limits as a weapon. From the ubiquitous death rays of evil geniuses everywhere to the various phasers and laser guns of many universes, from Star Wars to Transformers and from Star Trek to Doctor Who. Although it’s not widely known, laser weaponry is already in use outside of the film industry. +  +Lasers already have widespread military use for range finding and targeting in conventional weaponry. There are also non-lethal lasers in use, such as dazzlers which are intended to temporarily blind people or sensors. However, the weaponisation of lasers is not too far away — laser and other DE weaponry has been in the research stage for decades now in the USA and Europe. A test ship called the USS Ponce, has carried a laser weapon creatively known as the LaWS — Laser Weapon System — since 2014 for field testing. There’s quite a way to go until these weapons are ready for full scale deployment though. +  +The military term for weapons like lasers is DEW, or directed-energy weapon. This doesn’t just cover lasers, but also includes directed sound, particle-beam weaponry (perhaps to be explained in another article), other electromagnetic waves like microwaves and masers, which were a forerunner to lasers. The US Department of Defense (DoD) defines directed-energy as “an umbrella term covering technologies that produce a beam of concentrated EM energy or atomic or subatomic particles.” +  +DE weaponry generally all has the same intention and overall effect — to heat a part of the target and thereby damage it. Laser weapons usually deliver this energy in brief-high intensity pulses. A one megajoule (about the same energy as a one-tonne truck moving at 160km/h!) laser pulse delivers a similar amount of energy to 200 grams of TNT, and has essentially the same effect on the target. Not all lasers use electricity to generate the required energy — some use the energy of a suitable chemical reaction, such as the reaction between deuterium (an isotope of hydrogen) and fluoride. +  +DE weaponry would have several advantages over conventional arms, such as: +Almost total lack of recoil and sound +The infinite (given enough power) ammunition +Practically instantaneous impact of the shot (removing the need to account for a target’s movement) +Removal of the need to compensate for the effect of gravity on the projectile. +Minimisation of collateral damage. +  +Several prototypes, such as the Boeing YAL-1 aircraft have been created. The YAL-1 is the ‘Airborne Laser Testbed’ and was first test fired in 2007 using a low powered laser, and intercepted its first targets using a higher-power laser in 2010. Despite this early success, funding was cut that same year, and the project officially cancelled in 2011. This was because, while the project was a technical success, the range was too short, and the cost too great, for the military to consider it an “operationally viable” weapon. +  +Additionally, a microwave-based non-lethal weapon known as Active Denial is in use by the major American defense contractor Raytheon, and the US Air Force Research Laboratory, for the purpose of riot control. It works by heating the water inside the target’s skin, which (unsurprisingly) causes incapacitating pain, similar to the way a microwave oven heats food. There are concerns about the long term effects of the use of this weapon, and if it could cause permanent damage to eyes. The system can also be used to destroy unshielded electronics. It is available in various forms, including one mounted on a Humvee, as pictured. Additionally, there is a airport defense system called Vigilante Eagle which uses a microwave array to scramble the targeting systems of missiles fired at aircraft, deflecting them away. Another existing weapon is called the electrolaser. This is effectively a large, long ranged taser. It works by allowing a laser to bloom — in which the laser begins to defocus as it rapidly heats and ionises the surrounding air into plasma — and then firing a powerful electrical pulse along the ionised trail of plasma the laser leaves, which is conductive to electricity. +  +There are still many limitations on the use of laser weaponry. Current methods for storing and transforming electricity are not efficient nor small enough to produce a usable handheld laser weapon. Existing laser weapon systems waste a huge amount of energy as heat, meaning they need bulky cooling systems. These problems become less severe if the laser is mounted in a static defense turret, rather than on a vehicle, as the size becomes much less of a problem. Chemical lasers present further problems with storing the fuel, and the issues with cooling remain. +  +The aforementioned blooming is a problem for most lasers, as it causes significant energy dispersal, which is made more severe if the air is foggy or dusty. Fog, rain, dust and other similar environmental conditions can also scatter or completely deflect the laser, a problem which bullets do not suffer from. Furthermore, material evaporating from the target as it becomes damaged can also ‘shade’ the laser, and block some of the energy. While not a problem with laser weaponry per say, DE weapons are also not capable of indirect fire, as a conventional mortar or other artillery piece is. A possible solution to this is spaceborne lasers or reflectors — although it is currently difficult and expensive enough to get laser weapons airborne, let alone into orbit! Despite these limits, I believe laser and other DE weapons will become mainstream during our lifetimes. + +*Originally published at *[*www.thenetworkhe.com*](http://www.thenetworkhe.com/lasers.html)*.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-08-icymi--tattoos-are-bigger-than-suicide.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-08-icymi--tattoos-are-bigger-than-suicide.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f8092ea --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-08-icymi--tattoos-are-bigger-than-suicide.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "ICYMI: Tattoos are bigger than suicide." +date: 2016-10-08 +--- + + Thousands of people are tweeting about ink, while less than fifty are talking about male suicide. 12 men a day in the UK commit suicide making it the single biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK. +  + Help me change that, by lending your voice in raising awareness about this issue. + + + +*Originally published at *[*blog.aronajones.com*](http://blog.aronajones.com/2015/11/icymi-tattoos-are-bigger-than-suicide.html)* on October 8, 2016.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-08-in-the-vastness-of-the-void.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-08-in-the-vastness-of-the-void.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..598d96b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-08-in-the-vastness-of-the-void.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,21 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "In the vastness of the Void…" +date: 2016-10-08 +--- + + ![](/img/1*FNmVetHEoqcry1hhz_wemg.jpeg)Space is huge. Unimaginably so. And it’s almost all empty space (in terms of ‘standard’ matter). Regardless of this, it’s full of a diversity of weird and wonderful objects. Our own solar system is full of variety, from greenhouse Venus to stormy Neptune. But compared to the wider universe, it looks really quite boring. + +Space might be pretty much empty, but it’s quite noisy. A huge amount of our understanding about the universe comes not from looking, but from listening to the void. For example, a particular type of neutron star (can be formed after the post-supernova collapse of a supermassive star) called a pulsar emits regular bursts of radio waves. The most distant observable objects: quasi-stellar radio sources, better known as quasars, are also highly noisy. Solar flares from stars are also usually accompanied by bursts of radio waves. Even the interaction between Jupiter and its volcanically active moon, Io, produces radio ‘storms’. + +Many people will be familiar with, or at least have heard of, the term ‘black hole’. However ,surprisingly few actually know what a black hole is, past something that no light can escape from. A black hole is defined as a region of spacetime that has such a strong gravitational pull that nothing, including light and other EM (electromagnetic) radiation can escape from it. The border of a black hole is known as the event horizon. Of course, due to light being unable to escape, we cannot observe a black hole, only infer its existence from the effect it has on surrounding objects. Supermassive black holes are thought to exist at the centres of most galaxies, including our own. + +Even the arguably most boring object in space, the exoplanet (referring to any planet outside of our solar system), has numerous interesting variants. One example is 55 Cancri e, a planet thought to be made up of carbon in the form of diamond, with massive theoretical worth. The icy planet of Gliese 436 b is unusual in that it has a temperature of 712K, or over 400 celsius — put dramatically, it’s a gigantic burning ice cube. Or WASP-18b, a doomed planet that will eventually crash into its star due to tidal deceleration. + +The variety of space is not limited to single objects. Sagittarius B2 is an interstellar cloud of gas and dust that contains about 10 billion billion billion litres of alcohol. Due to the presence of large amounts of the compound ethyl formulate, it also smells like raspberries and tastes like rum, since this compound is what causes these flavours. A cosmic reservoir of raspberry rum. If there is a Creator, they doubtless have a sense of humour. + +Next time ,you look up at the darkness of the night sky, take a moment to think about what’s up there. For humanity’s comparatively brief existence, the heavens have remained (largely) constant. Time is measured not in hours nor years nor even lifetimes, but aeons, up there in the darkness. The scintillating stars of our night sky are still essentially the same as they were at the genesis of life on the tiny watery ball we call Earth. Home. + +*Originally published at *[*www.thenetworkhe.com*](http://www.thenetworkhe.com/weird-space.html)*.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-08-the-transhumanist-movement.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-08-the-transhumanist-movement.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d45ac4e --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-08-the-transhumanist-movement.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,21 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "The Transhumanist Movement" +date: 2016-10-08 +--- + + Transhumanism, in short, is the belief and movement that we can and should use all means available, especially science and technology, to their fullest extent to extend and evolve human capability, with the stated goal of becoming ‘post-human’. + +It includes the use of somewhat taboo technologies such as cybernetics and genetic engineering, making it currently something of an extremist field. That said there are certainly more extreme variants — such as anarcho-transhumanism, which suggests we must tear down governments and societies to achieve our goals. (And I don’t think they’re entirely wrong…) + +The transhumanist movement rests on the belief that what is human is not defined by what we are, but rather by who we are. Thus that, for example, a consciousness uploaded into a computer would still be considered a human being. + +One of my favourite parts of transhumanism is the concept of removing barriers — be that nation, religion or race — and working together as a species for the good of the species. It’s a pretty idealistic goal, but one that I genuinely believe to be achievable — and I’m normally pretty damn cynical. + +Personally, I view the use of science and technology to enhance ourselves as just another step in human evolution. And I know I’m not alone. +  + “*If fighting is your thing, we can still fight trillion-dollar wars, but let’s fight them against cancer, diabetes, heart disease, aging, and even death.***” — Zoltan Istvan, US Presidential Candidate, eminent transhumanist** + +*Originally published at *[*blog.aronajones.com*](http://blog.aronajones.com/2016/07/a-short-intro-on-transhumanism.html)* on October 8, 2016.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-09-we-re-all-doomed--and-you-can-be-too.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-09-we-re-all-doomed--and-you-can-be-too.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ab70a86 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-09-we-re-all-doomed--and-you-can-be-too.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,28 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "We’re all doomed (and you can be too)!​" +date: 2016-10-09 +--- + + ![](/img/1*-0IqUzvIHdd6Y9TBlwBziQ.jpeg)Not everyone was wishing for a white Christmas. Those sleeping rough got their wish. There was not a hint of snow on Christmas Day, or the rest of the holiday for that matter. Globally, this winter was an unseasonably warm one, following a worrying trend. + +Climate change is real. Undeniably real. Fact. + +The debate on its cause is another matter, but arguably irrelevant. Whether this is a wholly natural phenomenon, a human exacerbation of a natural cycle or something that humans are entirely responsible for, the fact is that our climate is changing. Fast. + +Climate change has been measured by scientists for years, and now the first of its far reaching effects are observable to all. Rapid desertification, intense heat waves and forest fires and the loss of polar ice are all occurring for everyone to see. Closer to home, heavy flooding has transformed from a once in a lifetime event to an all too regular occurrence.  +At this point, rising global temperatures are inevitable. It’s just a matter of how big the rise is. Scientists agree that to (most likely) prevent catastrophic change and runaway warming effects, where the rising temperatures melt ice that has greenhouse gases locked away in it, further increasing the temperature, we must keep the rise under two degrees Celsius. The current projected rise is a four degree rise by 2100, if emissions continue to rise at their current rate. Note that this is a global mean temperature, and so while a few degrees may seem relatively little, a 0.1 degree rise in this value can be highly significant. + +I make no apologies for the no-punches pulled facts I’ve laid out above. The world needs its eyes opened to the realities of climate change, and the fact that our current path leads to possible, or even probable, extinction. However, it isn’t all doom and gloom. We can still change our future. Our track record does hold one positive example — the ozone layer hole — which by now has almost fully healed, mostly thanks to the near global ban on CFC use. The climate summit in Paris during the latter half of 2015 was an important step in the right direction, but we need to ensure we keep taking these steps. + +The individual scale is just as important as the global one when it comes to climate change. While it is up to governments and scientists to look for green energy solutions, it is up to us to change our lifestyles and reduce our carbon footprints. If the whole of the world’s population lived the consumerist lifestyle we do, our land needs would be astronomical — certainly multiple times all available land on Earth. + +So, I challenge you. Mark your calendar, one year from now. Vow to change your ways, to reduce your footprint as much as possible. And then after that year has passed, you can reflect, and see if you have succeeded. You can each make a difference. + +At the conference, we were asked to make a pledge to do better for the environment. And to set a reminder to ourselves one year from then, what progress we had (or hadn’t made). I did. Will you? + +At the risk of sounding cliche (and over dramatic), we **have **to work together to ensure the safety of our future, and the futures of our descendants. There is no alternative but doom. + +*Originally published at *[*www.thenetworkhe.com*](http://www.thenetworkhe.com/doom.html)*.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-10-alan-turing--mathematician.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-10-alan-turing--mathematician.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2d2d1f6 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-10-alan-turing--mathematician.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,30 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Alan Turing: Mathematician." +date: 2016-10-10 +--- + + ![](/img/1*KmzL6Rs_rd4SVRHQfqxoFA.jpeg)One of those things is not like the other. All but one of these define a person. Somewhat contrarily, the focus of this article will not be Turing’s sexuality. Instead, I will make the point that your sexuality does not define you, rather your achievements. His sexuality, and the unfortunate consequences, are arguably irrelevant. + +Turing was instrumental in the development of theoretically based computer science. He was not well known for this during his lifetime, although he is much more widely recognised in the modern day. With his ‘Turing Machine’, which can be considered a model of the modern personal computer, he provided formalisation of the concepts of algorithm (defined as a process or set of rules to be followed in calculations or other problem-solving operations) and computation (now defined as the action of mathematical calculation). + +During his early life, Turing was far ahead of the school system and so studied advanced mathematical and scientific concepts on his own. Also at school, he was profoundly affected by the sudden death of a close friend, Christopher Morcom. It has been said that this was part of the inspiration and drive for his later success. + +Turing published a paper in 1986 now widely recognised to be the genesis of modern computing and computer science. Within the paper, he suggested the use of a ‘universal machine’ to perform procedural tasks. Only a decade later, he would transform this revolutionary idea into a practical electronic computational machine. + +He and his algorithms also played a crucial role during the Second World War, the achievement for which he is most widely recognised. After September of 1949, Turing and other mathematicians at the *GC&CS *(*Government Code and Cypher School*) housed at the well-known Bletchley Park, fashioned a machine to break signals encoded by the famous Enigma machine. The computational device he developed was capable of breaking the coded messages on an industrial scale, changing the course of the war significantly. It is estimated the breaking of Enigma shortened the war by two to four years. + +After the war, Turing gained a position at the *National Physics Laboratory *where he produced a comprehensive design for what was dubbed the *ACE,* or *Automatic Computing Engine*. However, he left on bad terms before the first version of the machine was built, in 1950. That same year, Turing published a paper that included the concept of an ‘imitation game’ to compare the answers given by computers and humans. This has become known as the *Turing Test *and is key in the field of Artificial Intelligence. ​ + +In 1951, Turing turned his attention to a totally different scientific problem — the issue of understand the biological patterns — petals, spots, stripes etcetera — within nature. In a paper still widely regarded as a classic, he proposed a chemical interaction based explanation and developed equations for it. For this, he was elected a Fellow of the *Royal Society.* + +Turing committed suicide on 7th June 1954 after a conviction for gross indecency for homosexual acts. This conviction led to the revoking of his security clearance, harassment by police surveillance (because he was considered to be a security risk) and forced chemical castration. He was finally granted a posthumous royal pardon for this in December 2013 after a campaign supported by the likes of Stephen Hawking. He was an unfortunate victim of the attitudes of the time, which most of the modern world now recognise to be unjust. + +Further reading:  + + + + +*Originally published at *[*www.thenetworkhe.com*](http://www.thenetworkhe.com/turing.html)*.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-18-we-re-still-doomed.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-18-we-re-still-doomed.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..72c2d73 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-18-we-re-still-doomed.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,19 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "We’re still doomed." +date: 2016-10-18 +--- + + ![](/img/1*aLbVD5wz2sWlFQ0AWDOXOw.jpeg)I’ve said it before, but I think it bears repeating. Climate change is the single biggest issue facing our generation. Scientists have been saying that we have to keep global temperature rise under two degrees Celsius to limit the life-changing impacts across the planet. And even then, that will only limit the damage. The fact is, we should have taken action long ago, and every second wasted is more damage caused. +  +Two degrees doesn’t sound like much, but in terms of global temperature it is huge. It will change the face of the planet, both literally and figuratively. These are optimistic models, too. If we take no action, the future is dark indeed. And yet…it isn’t spoken about. Politicians and the general public alike are systematically ignoring the desperate warnings of scientists. +  +Speak out about climate change. It is a problem for our entire species, every one of us, but can only be solved through concerted individual action. In my last article on this subject, entitled We’re all doomed! (and you can be too), I made a call to action. Implored you to do at least one thing better for the environment, and pledged to do the same myself. I realise now I’ve been lax myself — although I have made something of an effort to save energy. I’m part of the problem. We all are. We have to do better. +  +Let me paint a picture of the future we are currently hurtling towards. Wars will be fought over dwindling resources. There will be bitter conflict between the ‘us’ and ‘them’, when in reality there is only ‘us’. Wars will be fought for water, that most basic yet precious of life-giving resources. Ever more extreme weather will strike ever more frequently, tearing into low stockpiles even further. This may sound like some unlikely and dystopian ‘Mad Max’ esque future — it isn’t. The facts, and the experts, tell us that is where we are headed if we do not change our ways.  +  +I’m repeating myself again. Because the reality is, we simply aren’t doing enough. Climate change has to be front and centre of both wide-spanning international politics, and individual daily life. I’m repeating myself again — hoping it will sink in — it is the single most vital and pressing issue of our time. Either we change ourselves, or we change the Earth. It’s a life and death choice: life of a species, an ecosystem, a whole world; or the death of a planet. + +Originally published at [www.thenetworkhe.com](http://www.thenetworkhe.com). + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-20-it-is-three-minutes-to-midnight.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-20-it-is-three-minutes-to-midnight.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cafc272 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-20-it-is-three-minutes-to-midnight.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,27 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "It is three minutes to midnight." +date: 2016-10-20 +--- + + ![](/img/1*hE-2u2FJjr8n2up9kB3yZg.jpeg)But this isn’t any normal clock. This is the Doomsday Clock. A metaphor. A warning. The closer to midnight the clock is set, the closer humanity is to potentially tearing itself apart. Destroying ourselves with weapons and issues of our own making. + +The Clock is set by the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists organisation. Originally dependent on the whims of the Bulletin’s Editor Eugene Rabinowitch, the hands are now governed by a committee of nuclear scientists and experts that meet twice a year to assess how far from — or indeed how close to — our doom we are. + +It was created in 1947, when the United States and Soviet Union nuclear arms race was gathering speed. Atomic warfare was originally the pure focus of the Clock, but the potential catastrophic impact of climate change has been considered in the hand-setting since 2007. + +The closest the clock has been is two minutes. And that was in 1953 when thermonuclear weaponry was tested by the USA. Less than six months later, the Soviet Union tested bombs of their own. + +And yet, 63 years later, we are at three minutes to midnight. The threat to the human race is almost as strong as it was during the Cold War, that period of history that included the Cuban Missile Crisis. Each participant in that crisis was a hair’s breadth from a nuclear launch, and the end of the world as we know it. + +Careful diplomacy from world leaders was the only thing that prevented the Missile Crisis from dissolving into all out mutually assured destruction. Open communication and trust is vital in the control of the dangerous weapons we have built. There is no political agenda in attempting to ensure the survival of society and species. As long as nuclear weapons exist, danger exists. + +The reality is we are at constant risk of the destruction of civilisation. The Bulletin is simply a warning, a “doctor making a diagnosis” as it were. It is not speculation. It is judgement and assessment of the current state of our world. The level of danger. + +An elegant metaphor for the reality that our survival hangs by a thread. That there’s no time to waste. + +Read more about the workings of Doomsday time — its clockwork as it were, here: + +Originally published at [www.thenetworkhe.com](http://www.thenetworkhe.com). + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-10-20-mad-science---the-science-of-mental-illness.markdown b/_posts/2016-10-20-mad-science---the-science-of-mental-illness.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..75e4338 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-10-20-mad-science---the-science-of-mental-illness.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,24 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Mad Science — The science of mental illness" +date: 2016-10-20 +--- + + ![](/img/1*yHi8jOqCAG3DjTq9GY6Q-A.jpeg)Mental illness can be just as serious as any physical debilitation, and yet it is rarely treated with the same respect. It is more difficult to diagnose, and much more difficult to treat. + +There is philosophical disagreement over whether mental illness is a physical illness of the brain, or something entirely distinct. Many people, eminent American mental health researcher Thomas Insel among them, consider it to be the former. For Insel, mental disorders are no different to something such as heart disease, the distinction being the organ affected is the brain rather than the heart. + +Maybe someday we will be able to diagnose mental illness with a set of physical tests, just as we can diagnose leukaemia with a blood test, but we have a long way to go before that happens. The brain as a whole is fairly poorly understood by medical science as it stands; that said though, rapid advancements are being made. We are beginning to build a picture and an understanding of how the brain functions — or indeed, dysfunctions. + +To this end, many other scientists say that to focus purely on the physical when dealing with mental illness would be a mistake — a potentially dangerous one. Personality traits and environmental change are believed to be just as easily responsible as physical faults within the brain. + +Jerome Wakefield compares the brain to a computer, with the flesh and internal circuitry the hardware, and our thoughts the human equivalent of software. Just as computer hardware and software can both fail or fault, so can either part of our brain. + +The current diagnosis and treatment for mental illnesses are quite crude — just as treatment for other diseases used to be. Inevitably, the weight of research thrown at the problem will develop our understanding; help us to map out the tangled pathways of our infinitely complex brains. + +Thus, one more piece of the scientific puzzle will slowly fall into place. The puzzle that encompasses understanding what makes the universe tick — and why. We have come so far; yet, to stretch the metaphor, we’re still sorting through the box trying to find the edge pieces. + +[**Mad Science: The Treatment of Mental Illness Fails to Progress [Excerpt]** +*From Madness in Civilization: A Cultural History of Insanity from the Bible to Freud, from the Madhouse to Modern…*www.scientificamerican.com](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/mad-science-the-treatment-of-mental-illness-fails-to-progress-excerpt/ "https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/mad-science-the-treatment-of-mental-illness-fails-to-progress-excerpt/")[](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/mad-science-the-treatment-of-mental-illness-fails-to-progress-excerpt/)Originally published at [www.thenetworkhe.com](http://www.thenetworkhe.com). + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-11-07-young-scientists-journal---the-future-of-science.markdown b/_posts/2016-11-07-young-scientists-journal---the-future-of-science.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..813c9c7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-11-07-young-scientists-journal---the-future-of-science.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,21 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Young Scientists Journal — The Future of Science" +date: 2016-11-07 +--- + + ![](/img/1*9trVB3pAy9QBsuWrimJt1w.jpeg)One bright October morning, instead of engaging in particle physics with Mrs Dedman, I was on a train bound for Canterbury. I was on my way to The King’s School, Canterbury, to attend the *Young Scientists Journal Lecture*. Arriving, I entered through a castle-like arch and took a seat in a large and impressive hall. + +The day certainly kicked off with a bang as we had an address from none other than Sir Martyn Poliakoff (CBE, FRS), the vice-president and Foreign Secretary of the Royal Society! Poliakoff is a leading scientist on the cutting edge of green chemistry, and specialises in the applications of supercritical fluids (gases that are so highly compressed they begin to behave partly like liquids). He has been instrumental in the replacement of environment-harming organic solvents with supercritical gas solvent systems on an industrial scale. Oh, and also he travels the world making engaging scientific YouTube videos, known as the Periodic Table of Videos: . + +After this fantastic address, the attendees broke off into smaller groups for pre-chosen lectures and workshops. My first choice was ‘Careers in Space’ in which I learned a significant amount about the possibilities of careers in the space sector. The workshop was taken by a member of the *UK Space Agency*, and as a result we also learned considerable amounts about the developments the *UK Space Agency *has made. For example, did you know a British astronaut will be launching to the ISS on 15th December 2015? To my shame, I didn’t — until that workshop. Not only did I learn about our astronaut, but I also found out about other developments, such as the Skylon, which UK research and development agencies, funded by our government, are pushing. + +My second address was intriguingly titled ‘We’re all Doomed’. It turned out to be a powerful presentation on the realities of climate change and the pace at which we are headed towards irreversible temperature rises and most likely our doom. However, the melancholy mood was intentionally lifted by the speaker who closed on a positive note, highlighting that we can fix situations like this and have done so in the past. For example, a global cooperation prevented further growth of the ozone hole, and indeed as of this point it has nearly healed. So, the future isn’t all doom and gloom, despite the presentation’s title; provided we, as a species, pull together as we have done in the past, the worst damage of climate change can be averted. Global leaders are aware of this and recent talks have yielded a first draft of a possible international policy on climate change. The UN recognises it is critical we keep global temperature rises under two degrees, and is taking action to ensure we do. + +Overall, it was a very exciting and educational day, and I look forward to next year’s conference. Indeed, I will be investigating the possibly of a school trip to next year’s event: watch this space! Until then, remember, there’s always more to learn.  +  +The journal’s site is here: I’d advise you give it a look. + +*Originally published at *[*www.thenetworkhe.com*](http://www.thenetworkhe.com/the-young-scientists-journal.html)*.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-11-14-i-think-that-feeling-attachment-to-characters-is-not-only-natural--but-also-a-good-sign.markdown b/_posts/2016-11-14-i-think-that-feeling-attachment-to-characters-is-not-only-natural--but-also-a-good-sign.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ee3737b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-11-14-i-think-that-feeling-attachment-to-characters-is-not-only-natural--but-also-a-good-sign.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I think that feeling attachment to characters is not only natural, but also a good sign." +date: 2016-11-14 +--- + + I think that feeling attachment to characters is not only natural, but also a good sign. If you can get attached to characters that deeply, then so can your readers. So a good sign indeed, I feel. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-12-16-facts-not-faith--or-else.markdown b/_posts/2016-12-16-facts-not-faith--or-else.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..350080f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-12-16-facts-not-faith--or-else.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Facts not faith. Or else…" +date: 2016-12-16 +--- + + Sometimes, I wonder how people can possibly deny the facts of climate change. Then…I remember that there are still those that legitimately believe, in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, that the Earth is flat. + +Yes, that’s right. There are people on this globe (particular choice of words here very much intentional) that genuinely think that the Earth is flat. To give some context as to how ridiculous this truly is, the Ancient Greeks not only knew that the Earth is a sphere, but calculated its radius to within 0.16% of the current satellite measure accuracy. The concept of a flat earth is a pre-scientific one, and yet the belief is held **by some **to this day. + +Put in that context, climate change deniers seem slightly less ridiculous. Only slightly, mind. + +*“Great A’Tuin the turtle comes, swimming slowly through the interstellar gulf…[on which stand] four giant elephants upon whose broad and star-tanned shoulders the disc of the World rests” — The Colour of Magic, Terry Pratchett* + +As observable by climate change deniers and ‘flat-earthers’ alike, humans have a strange penchant for clinging tightly to their beliefs, and being able to ignore facts to do so. + +Why exactly that this is, is a question for psychology to attempt to answer, and quite outside the scope of what I’m trying to do here. Also momentarily irrelevant are the myriad possibilities that what we call fact could actually be opinion. In other words, I am temporarily dismissing the surprisingly real possibility we live in a simulation or dream (an article for another time, perhaps) for the sake of argument. + +That argument is that fact is key. *“Faith means not wanting to accept what is true” — Nietzsche* + +Dependence on blind faith is at best stupidity and ignorance, and at worst flat out hindering to progress and damaging. In the case of flat earth societies, it is the former. Not particularly harmful, just charmingly misguided. However, those that deny the existence of climate change, which by this point is a brute fact, are legitimately dangerous. + +As I keep asserting, keep yelling into the void, climate change is real. All the facts tell us so, and yet, nobody listens to the increasingly desperate warnings of scientists. The scientists are the experts here, and yet their opinion is ignored. People think they know better than those in the know. Another oddity of the human mind. The fact is, climate change is a significant **threat to the existence of the world as we know it. **To deny it is…madness. Threateningly so. The longer we wait to take action, the worse the already catastrophic effects will be. We can’t continue this reckless exploitation for much longer. One way or another, it will come to an end. Either we choose to do better, or we **kill the planet.** There is no alternative. + +I would say I’m prophesying doom and gloom…but the word ‘prophecy’ implies that the facts are not pointing overwhelmingly towards the conclusion I have just laid out above. Better to say ‘predicting’. As I have said, the facts are key. + +Facts, not faith. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2016-12-16-mind-s-eye-blind.markdown b/_posts/2016-12-16-mind-s-eye-blind.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e939e94 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-12-16-mind-s-eye-blind.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,19 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Mind’s eye blind" +date: 2016-12-16 +--- + + *Sunset. Golden reds and yellows pouring, fading away, succumbing to the clutching grasp of creeping twilight, the strangling darkness.* + +For most people, those sentences conjured a vivid mental image. I would surmise that those for which an image appeared were unaware that it was only most, and not all, people that ‘see’ mental images. In fact, the converse is probably true — those for which no image appeared are probably confused to discover that most people actually see images, the mind’s eye functioning much the same as a real eye. + +I fall into the minority category. + +I don’t see mental images. It’s incredibly difficult to describe what I do see, but certainly not the vivid mental imagery that I’m told others experience. I’ve taken to saying that I ‘think in lists’, able to reel off characteristics of something I’m imagining without being able to see it. This would explain the ease with which I can explain and describe that which I cannot truly see, like the sunset imagery written above. + +The term ‘aphantasia’ to describe the condition I have just outlined was coined recently by Professor Adam Zeman of the University of Exeter. By its very nature, our ability to utilise — or not — our mind’s eye is very difficult to study. Therefore, knowledge in the area is currently very limited. Someone cannot really be ‘diagnosed’ with aphantasia. I can’t say for certain that I have it — just that it seems exceedingly like I do to myself. + +Zeman has described it as an ‘intriguing variation in human experience”. I can certainly agree in that I feel that it has changed the way I experience the world compared to others, forcibly so. Something seen and now gone, is forever lost to me, where for others it would live on in images conjured from memories. The ability to do such a thing sounds more than a little like magic to me. It’s forced me to live in the present. But, like Zeman, I don’t feel that that’s entirely a bad thing, something to suffer from. A difference, not a handicap. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-01-04-writing-prompt---what-do-you-mean---it-broke.markdown b/_posts/2017-01-04-writing-prompt---what-do-you-mean---it-broke.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..78489f2 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-01-04-writing-prompt---what-do-you-mean---it-broke.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,53 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Writing Prompt: “What do you mean, ‘It broke’”?" +date: 2017-01-04 +--- + + The sun hung low in the sky, a red swollen disk. It’s rays stabbed their way through the smog filled air, elbowing the clouds aside. All was quiet within the dilapidated and empty manor that squatted within an expansive but overgrown lawn. The soot covered brickwork was streaked with moisture, and the roof sagged in places where nagging rot ate away at the thick timber beams. It was set far back from the bustle of London behind towering hedges and ornate ironwork. A London in the grips of the biggest human revolution in history, no less. The Industrial Revolution. + +Within the house light streamed through the cracked window, illuminating the dustmotes like dancing sprites. Suddenly, the peace was shattered by a whine so high pitched it was almost inaudible. Spiders across the room retreated to the corners of the intricate webs that were draped from the roofbeams, and the glass began to vibrate in the panes. The outline of a strange machine began to appear, shimmering like a desert mirage. Dust began to stream outwards away from the outline, blown by an ethereal wind. With a quiet whoosh, the outline became solid, in the flicker of an eyelid. The light still streamed through the windows, now casting light on the swirls and eddies of dust the disturbance caused by the machine had created. Light glinted from polished brass, and was captured by iridescent crystals, only to be thrown out again in a thousand scintillating fragments of colour. Upon the high-backed leather seats in the centre of the contraption sat two men, dressed in suit and tails. They looked as if they could have simply stepped in from the hurrying street outside. Except, they clearly had not. + +The first utterance of the figure on the left, adorned with a towering charcoal stovepipe, was ‘Dang and blast, it broke!” + +In confusion, the figure next to him, sporting a crystalline monocle returned: + +“What do you mean, ‘It broke’?!” + +“Exactly what I said, it’s broken. It must be, we’ve stopped far too soon” + +“How?” + +“I don’t know. That’s not important, we need to fix it, and quickly!” + +In desperation, both figures fiddled with the array of buttons, levers and dials spread before them. A twist of a red knob produced a small bang, causing a nearby mouse to keel over from shock. The throwing of a knife switch created a shower of sparks, which ignited the tails of one of the men. Swiftly beating it out, he cried once more, + +“Dratted thing is totally bust.” + +“At least we seem to be in the right time period, give or take a few tens of years.” + +“That’s all well and good, but how are we going to get back?” + +“Perhaps we can fix it now” + +That said, both figures gingerly climbed down from the seats, and began to inspect the machine. + +Some time later, relative peace had returned to the house, broken only by occasional clangs of dropped parts, or muttered curses from one of the two men. The machine lay mostly dismantled on the floor. With a sudden exclamation, the monocled man grasped a shiny silver tube inset into which was a window that blazed with blue light. Twisting the cap, which emitted a pneumatic hiss, he drew the casing away, revealing the source of the radiant light. As he did this, the whole room was bathed in a clinical blue glow that burned the shadows from even the darkest corners of the room, and caused the numerous spiders to once more retreat to the furthest corners of their sticky, stringy castles. Shielding his eyes to look at the crystal itself, difficult due to the intensity of the light it emitted, he uttered an oath of dismay. + +“It’s cracked! The cursed thing has cracked” + +A gossamer line of jet black did indeed run through the very heart of the crystal. The man cast it away in disgust. It rolled to the corner of the room, making an almost wistful tinkling sound as it went. Then it trundled behind a half brick that had been cast aside long ago, and came to a stop. The brightness of the blue glow lessened considerably, and both men blinked repeatedly in the sudden twilight. + +After a moment of silence which stretched out for a considerable slice of time, the hat-wearing man exclaimed to the other, + +“Just how do you expect us to find a new quantum flux inversion crystal in the middle of Victorian London?” + +“Uhm, Harrods?” + +“Maybe if we wait another thousand years!” + +“Bugger…” + +Originally published on [/r/WritingPrompts](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-01-07-throwback--four-of-the-most-exciting-technological---scientific-advancements-of-2015.markdown b/_posts/2017-01-07-throwback--four-of-the-most-exciting-technological---scientific-advancements-of-2015.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0f95c90 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-01-07-throwback--four-of-the-most-exciting-technological---scientific-advancements-of-2015.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,38 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Throwback: Four of the most exciting technological & scientific advancements of 2015" +date: 2017-01-07 +--- + + ![](/img/1*kZY0hInmtSjSTfpsZPFIAw.jpeg)While 2015 may not have brought the hover-boards sci-fi classic ‘Back to the Future’ promised us, it has certainly brought significant development on the cutting edge of scientific and technological advancement. What follows is an outline of some of the most interesting advancements we have made in the space of these (almost) twelve months, in no particular order. + +​ +**‘Miniature Sun’ — Fusion Reactor WX-7** +This significant development justifies its own article. Read it here. + +**‘Magic Rocket’ — EM Engine** +NASA’s advanced propulsion research group, known as Eagleworks, last year created an engine that seems to violate one of what we believe to be the fundamental laws of physics: the conservation of momentum. And they still aren’t sure how it works. + +This year, NASA’s experimental ’EM Drive’ was successfully tested in a vacuum, providing significant thrust, enough to provide propulsion for a spacecraft. But as mentioned, scientists don’t know where this propulsion is coming from. Unlike a traditional rocket engine, no propellant is required, only electricity. + +While we don’t know how it works, we do know the potential for its use in advancement of spaceflight technology is fairly limitless. It could be used to prevent the ISS and other future space stations falling back to earth, a process which currently requires frequent fuel resupply missions, or could take a spacecraft to Mars in a matter of months! So overall, if the engine proves to be truly working as it appears to be, breaking the current laws of physics, it will be a significant leap forward for spaceflight technology. It will be one step closer to a trip to orbit being as easy as taking the bus. + +**‘Spaceplane’ — Skylon** +Continuing in the theme of propulsion developments is Skylon. Developed by the British company Reaction Engines Limited (REL), Skylon is a concept for a single-stage-to-orbit (meaning it can reach orbit without jettisoning boosters and other hardware, as most other current spacecraft do) spaceplane that utilises the in-development SABRE engine. This engine is the most exciting part of the spaceplane design, as it is a hybrid between a rocket and jet engine. While the plane climbs through the atmosphere, it takes in air like the engines on a commercial jet, and then switches to stored liquid oxygen when in orbit. While not an incredibly complex or ground-breaking concept, the specific implementation of it in this engine is very promising. + +The UK and European space agencies are supporting the project, and if all goes as planned, the spacecraft could be making flights to the ISS by 2022. +  +**‘Resistance is Futile’ — Drones** +While Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (UAVs, or colloquially and incorrectly, drones) have been in military use since around 2005, it is only really from the end of last year they have begun to enter the civilian market for private ownership. They are still only really high-tech toys, without many practical applications for the everyday hobbyist user, but could have applications in many areas in the future, from mail delivery (already reportedly in research by Amazon) to surveying. + +Indeed, the rapid expansion of the drone market has left civil aviation authorities reeling to catch up, and the legality of drones is under scrutiny. The commercial market has also been racing to meet sudden demand, with basement start-ups taking on technology giants like Google to produce consumer-oriented drones. There are already internet guides and open source software for ‘home brewing’ your own drone. Overall, it’s a technology very much still in its infancy, much like 3D printing, and we will see prices drop and applications increase as the years go on. + +**‘Far out!’ — New Horizons** +We are the first generation to see detailed pictures of Pluto, thanks to the development of a mission NASA began in 2006. A reality of the scales involved with space missions is that there is often a huge waiting period between the launch of a spacecraft and reaching its mission objective. In January of this year, the New Horizons probe began its approach vector to Pluto, and performed the closest ever flyby of Pluto, at only 12,500km (a distance a little under the diameter of the Earth) above the surface on the 14th of July. The image compares the best picture previously available, taken by the orbiting Hubble telescope in 2010, with a picture taken by the New Horizons mission. Quite a significant difference, and analysis of the new images has already broadened our understanding of Pluto, especially when combined with other readings taken by the spacecraft. + +​ +Overall, it’s been a year of exciting and possibly game changing developments in both science and technology — and it’s not quite over yet! I look forward to what 2016 will bring, as we begin to consolidate and utilise some of the developments made during this year. ​ + +*Originally published at *[*www.thenetworkhe.com*](http://www.thenetworkhe.com/2015-summary.html)*.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-02-01-so-called--intelligent--design.markdown b/_posts/2017-02-01-so-called--intelligent--design.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..459f670 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-02-01-so-called--intelligent--design.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,27 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "So called ‘Intelligent’ Design" +date: 2017-02-01 +--- + + ![](/img/1*WiOpx3mbdOkz8IKcAim6_Q.jpeg)via https://unsplash.comThe wolf. Sleek fur, senses thousands of times more acute than ours. Razor teeth and powerful jaws. Expert pack hunters, a wolf pack acting as fluidly as a single organism. The wolf is a master of its craft — hunting and killing. + +A product of millions of years of evolution. + +Nature is the world’s greatest engineer, fine tuning her creations through the unforgiving process of natural selection. Nothing less than perfection will satisfy Mother Nature. The weak die, the strong survive. Simple, cruel, and most of all effective. + +![](/img/1*ObC1XtcKmbzN-FauBfM6Zg.jpeg)via https://unsplash.comCompare, then, to the humble pug. Wheezing, fat and flat faced. Not a creation of Mother Nature, perfect in every way by necessity. A creation of selective breeding, of…intelligent design. The pug would survive mere seconds in the harsh conditions imposed by nature. + +Intelligent design? Not so much. + +Under the ruthless mathematics of natural selection, advantageous mutations — variations from the norm — provide a survival advantage to the mutated organism. The converse is also true — those with mutations that hinder everyday life are at a disadvantage. A survival advantage, of course, makes that particular organism more likely to survive, to replicate and to pass on the mutated genes to its offspring. And so, the best of the best naturally rise to the top, thrive and multiply. It could not be simpler, it could not be more brutal. + +The pug is (very, very) distantly related to the wolf, and yet retaining none of its finesse. The flawless sculpt of nature, the perfect killing machine of a wolf, corrupted by the crude chisels of humanity, heavy handed attempts at creation. The result is nothing short of spectacular. Spectacularly pathetic. + +Perhaps the pug is something of an unfair example, that said. The battle of humanity versus nature is surprisingly balanced. Something of a David and Goliath situation. Nature wields effectively infinite power, in the thrashing energy of sky, land and sea. Gentle waves and light breezes to tsunamis and hurricanes. Power orders of magnitude outside our reach. But humanity endures. Humanity always finds new ways to mitigate the damage of the devastating nature can wreak. Surviving, enduring. + +We may not be so good at what nature has mastered — the pug being a particularly fine example — but we have our own skills. Through our own innovation, we have freed ourselves from the Game of Life. From the march of nature in choosing the strong from the weak. Using ever increasing advances in medicine, in technology, we save the lives of the weakest of our species. Of those that would not survive if submitted to the savage wild. + +For better or worse, we have beaten natural selection. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-02-14-what-is-love--science-says.markdown b/_posts/2017-02-14-what-is-love--science-says.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c58c03a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-02-14-what-is-love--science-says.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "What is Love? Science says…" +date: 2017-02-14 +--- + + ![](/img/1*8L9NdZmhhj0id_KRfOrfWw.jpeg)via https://unsplash.comThe question ‘what is love?’ is usually a matter for the arts, explored in melodious song and the swish of the paintbrush. Creativity and emotion are not commonly associated with lab coats and microscopes. + +Science is an attempt to explain, to understand, the mechanics of…everything. Science tries to explain that which already exists. To provide an understanding of the fundamental nature of the universe, from the smallest subatomic particle to the intergalactic interactions, and everything in between. + +Arts, on the other hand, are the creation of something new, or the ‘re-mixing’ of that which already exists into a new form. Rather than try to explain things, art sometimes tries to obfuscate it, to embed meaning deep in the cloak of the ordinary. So in a sense the two are opposed, and yet, intrinsically linked. + +A scientist will try to explain love. + +A neuroscientist might tell you that love is a result of chemical reactions in the brain, a confluence of hormones. Nothing more, nothing less. + +A biologist might tell you love is a process related to evolution, intended to fuel our desire to reproduce and continue our species. Nothing more, nothing less. + +A psychologist might tell you that love is formed from a desire for intimacy — and from a fear of being alone. Nothing more, nothing less. + +A human will tell you love cannot be explained. Nothing less. + +You might be surprised to hear the statement that follows proposed by such a die-hard science advocate as myself, and to be honest I am somewhat surprised along with you. + +Not everything can be accurately dissected, wholly understood under the cold light of logic. There are some things that science cannot — should not — try to explain. Science can give us the ‘why’ of how things happen, but for some things, this is not the whole picture. Things such as ethical dilemmas, emotions, and most of all love, have an illogical dimension that science does not cover. + +*“Nobody is more foolish than a wise man in love” — Unknown* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-04-06-music-is-power.markdown b/_posts/2017-04-06-music-is-power.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fb6f815 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-04-06-music-is-power.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,23 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Music is power." +date: 2017-04-06 +--- + + ![](/img/1*A7Wh84CHLKs5vVcAvPHx8Q.jpeg)Earlier this week I finally got to see Lindsey Stirling live. It was all that I had hoped it would be, and more. + +From a technical standpoint the show was crazy impressive. Several huge screens working in sync — that must have taken some clever backend work and a hell of a lot of graphics power. Screen projection was used carefully to magical effect. Even a few classical magic tricks thrown in for good measure. But that wasn’t the point of this. + +Her music is some of the very first I can remember listening to. Certainly the first that really spoke to me on a level deeper than words. That’s why I say music is power. As with other artforms, it transcends the simple word, communicating deeper things. It means more than words on a page like these. + +During the performance Lindsey spoke about how she had faced rejection every step of the way to get where she is now. After all, she was taking an existing precedent — how one ‘should’ play the violin — and throwing it out of the window. Creating something so utterly different, so new, so unique. Talent agencies, recording studios, Piers Morgan all could not see the diamond in the rough she presented to them. Nevertheless, she persevered. + +To paraphrase her words, as no doubt she was paraphrasing someone before her, those who are successful aren’t such because they never failed, in fact quite the opposite. They’ve failed over and over, again and again. The difference between a winner and a loser is the winner keeps failing until…they don’t. Until failure gives way. + +Music can be…is…something more. Music is power. It opens a pathway between the hearts of the listener and the performer. + +Lindsey’s songs mean something. She’s very open about this too. Shatter Me, my personal favourite, is about her battle with anorexia. Gavi’s Song is of course about the heartbreaking loss of Gavi. Other songs can’t be pinned down to a particular concept. But you can still feel the meaning when listening to them. + +Everyone in that sold-out theater certainly could. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-11-27-no-one-else-will-write-it-for-you.markdown b/_posts/2017-11-27-no-one-else-will-write-it-for-you.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f792d8f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-11-27-no-one-else-will-write-it-for-you.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,28 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "No one else will write it for you" +date: 2017-11-27 +--- + + ![](/img/1*iHGxYlxpXIB7d--iS80KKw.jpeg)Photo by [Simson Petrol](https://unsplash.com/photos/-3wygakaeQc?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Barely minutes ago I crossed 50,000 words, the bar set to ‘win’ National Novel Writing Month. Funny how my instinct is then to immediately write yet more words huh? But these are important words. + +The reason I put the word win in inverted commas above is because winning is relative. Any words you write during NaNo are more words than you would have written otherwise. One of the quotes I have stuck around my monitor to motivate me during the challenge is: + + +> “This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It’s that easy. And that hard” — Neil GaimanOne of the other quotes is the title of this piece. And it’s a very important message. + +Nobody else will write it for you, because nobody else can. You have stories within you. Only by persevering through the graft of trapping them in words — sometimes a slog, sometimes a joy — will you share that story with the world. And it is a story that deserves to be shared. + +November’s been a hell of a month for me. Working almost full time, particularly within the run up to Christmas, has been a drain on time that I’d have preferred to have used writing. I novelled on my breaks. Occasionally I novelled in the quietest parts of long shifts (Ssh, don’t tell anyone!). My motorcycle got a puncture in the first couple of days of the month. So I stayed home and I wrote, taking it as a sign. More often than I should I wrote until the early hours of the morning. I’ve battled with procrastination every minute, distracted constantly. Consumed much caffeine and sugar. All in the name of a crazy goal, one so distant and so achievable all at the same time. + +Some days I wrote thousands of words. Some days I wrote barely any, or even none at all. As I got closer to the magic 50k, each word seemed to get harder and harder. I’d already written my beginning, and my end, now I had to resign myself to write the bit in the middle — not quite as exciting. But certainly necessary for my story. I persevered, and finally broke target today. + +I’m dragging on here, still in the mode of frenetically scribbling. My message is simple, doesn’t need to be wrapped in so many words. Duly, it follows. + +Only you can tell your story. Yes, it’s hard. If you managed to write those 50,000 words in a month like I did — congratulations, you did something…pretty insane! Even if you didn’t, irrelevant of how close you came — **you still won**. + +Any words are winning words, because any words are more than no words. + +Commit to your story, let it free. How long it takes doesn’t matter in the end. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-11-29-eureka-moments-never-had.markdown b/_posts/2017-11-29-eureka-moments-never-had.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c52e791 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-11-29-eureka-moments-never-had.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,31 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Eureka moments never had" +date: 2017-11-29 +--- + + ![](/img/1*7PVzzRFriu35p-sJV4rwLA.jpeg)via https://unsplash.com +> “Little particles of inspiration sleet through the universe all the time traveling through the densest matter in the same way that a neutrino passes through a candyfloss haystack, and most of them miss.” — Terry Pratchett, SourceryMost of them never find the right target. + +The human mind possesses an overwhelming capacity for creativity that continually overwhelms me. Society, science, technology….humanity…has advanced in directions that were previously unimaginable, nevermind thought impossible. And no doubt it will continue to do so. + +You might be tempted to say the various revolutions in the way we live are lives (we’re in the midst of one now!) are the product of a few outstanding thinkers. Superhumans, almost. Maybe. Maybe there are only a few ‘right’ people that happened to be in the right place at the right time. + +I don’t think so. + +Everyone is a creative. Humanity’s greatest strength is imagination, be it applied to science or art. + +However, human society currently isn’t conducive to that. + + +> “I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.” ― Stephen Jay GouldI believe people having to work to survive is criminal. It’s one of the reasons I support Universal Basic Income. What if people were freed from having to go to jobs they probably hate just to be able to survive…to be able to keep working? What if this insane cycle was broken, via automation or otherwise? What then? + +If it were ever allowed to happen, maybe it’d lead to people not knowing what to do with the time they’d suddenly been granted. But I don’t think so. + +Life is too short. Too short to experience the world. Too short to create out of those experiences. I think a world freed from the 40+ hour work week would be a happier one. An infinitely more creative one too. Who knows where we (humanity) might go, if we all just had the chance to think about things once in a while. + +My inner cynic demands I add a caveat here. In all of the above, think is operative. I’m optimistically speculating. The vision of society I just outlined is highly utopian. But the automation revolution is looking promising. And it has the potential to completely change the way we think about jobs, and with it the face of society. + +When inspiration hits, grab it with both hands. Spend your time wisely, for it is limited and irreplaceable. **Create. *Live.*** + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-01-art-of-the-corner-roar-of-the-engine--a-wildcat-ride-to-feel-alive.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-01-art-of-the-corner-roar-of-the-engine--a-wildcat-ride-to-feel-alive.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..251e2a2 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-01-art-of-the-corner-roar-of-the-engine--a-wildcat-ride-to-feel-alive.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Art of the corner +Roar of the engine, a wildcat +Ride to feel alive" +date: 2017-12-01 +--- + + ![](/img/1*SG089jW4mhNeBEKH-FBJaA.jpeg)*Art of the corner +Roar of the engine, a wildcat +Ride to feel alive* + +I’ve never written a haiku before, but I had to. It was tricky! I think it almost comes close to describing the joy of riding. Almost. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-02-a-letter-to-love-lost.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-02-a-letter-to-love-lost.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bdf5de8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-02-a-letter-to-love-lost.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "A letter to love lost" +date: 2017-12-02 +--- + + ![](/img/1*692G9RA2PUB1IfnDi5tCkA.jpeg)Photo by [Jacob Culp](https://unsplash.com/photos/PwMB0FpuyyQ?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I miss endless hours with our bodies intertwined watching TV + +I miss that it never mattered what we watched, only that we did it together + +I miss lying awake until the silly hours of the morning, talking everything from pizza to philosophy + +I miss having someone + +Someone to share life with + +To bare my soul to + +Someone infinitely more than *just* *someone* + +I miss you + +But that’s better than not + +All things have to end + +Unfortunately + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-02-frenetic-scribblings--1--genesis.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-02-frenetic-scribblings--1--genesis.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2e9f50e --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-02-frenetic-scribblings--1--genesis.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,24 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #1: Genesis" +date: 2017-12-02 +--- + + ![](/img/1*xQi5CSpeQ9OF-3jwR4Iktg.jpeg)*A book lies open on the table, pages blank like fresh snowfall. Ink spills like blood across the crisp cream pages. An invisible hand scrawls lightning fast. Patterns of loops and lines inscribed in the blink of an eye. Letters forming words, words forming sentences. A story beginning to unfold, told in ink black as night…* + +This is that story. I hope you enjoyed that little intro snippet of fiction as much as I enjoyed writing it. + +What is this? This is only the beginning of something, if I can follow through on it. Through [Nanowrimo](http://“No%20one%20else%20will%20write%20it%20for%20you”%20@aronajones_%20https://medium.com/@aronajones/no-one-else-will-write-it-for-you-cb59587ba8cc) I proved to myself that given the right motivator, I can write something every single day for a month. And I thought to myself….why stop at a month? + +I’ve tried blogs in the past — lost count of how many times in fact. But this is different. This is a journal, almost. A collection of things, created by me or simply found. Dug from all corners of the fantastic maze that is the Internet. This is Frenetic Scribblings. + +Maybe one will evolve over time but I won’t set a formula for what I’m going to put in this. Because I know I’ll have enough difficulty just doing it every day. There will be a little bit of fiction. A little bit of not. Quotations (I do so love them!), images and music that speak to me at the time. A slice of life, as it were. + +Hopefully some of you out there will enjoy my often inane, sometimes insane ramblings. Regardless, writing every day will be good practice. + +Until tommorow! + +Thought for the day: + + +> “Not all who wander are lost” — J.R.R. Tolkien \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-02-sensory-experience-is-what-biking-is-all-about.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-02-sensory-experience-is-what-biking-is-all-about.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9d316f7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-02-sensory-experience-is-what-biking-is-all-about.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Sensory experience is what biking is all about." +date: 2017-12-02 +--- + + Sensory experience is what biking is all about. + +To be honest, I would also be interested to hear someone else’s perspective, I don’t know much about haiku. Quite fun to write though. + +Thanks! Glad you like it :D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-03-frenetic-scribblings--2--two-s-company.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-03-frenetic-scribblings--2--two-s-company.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..80578c8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-03-frenetic-scribblings--2--two-s-company.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #2: Two’s company" +date: 2017-12-03 +--- + + ![](/img/1*Qpv0EFGyo2lcV7EPYx8eRA.jpeg)I picked quite the time to start this endeavor, Christmas is a busy time at my work! But I will persevere. Though of course now I’ve found the time to sit down and write I can’t think of anything to say. Always the way I suppose. + +Yesterday I started watching *Vikings. *If you haven’t heard of it, I’d describe it as Norse Game of Thrones. Which for a GoT fan and Norse mythos lover like me is just perfect. + +*The early morning mist curled. An ethereal beast’s tendrils grasping at the land. Silence hugged close too, peaceful and still.* + +*A powerful stench, the unmistakable signature of decay broke the illusion that all was well.* + +*Scattered across the verdant fields wet with dew were innumerable bodies. Some armoured, some less so. Some almost untouched, others hacked into several pieces.* + +*There was one thing they had in common — the silent, glass eyed stare that marked the passing of Deaths touch. Knight and peasant, good and evil, all was made equal in death.* + +*Silence consumed. Broken only be the intermittent squawk of the feasting ravens.* + +I’d put something interesting I found on the Internet here to placate the voice in my head that tells me this is an exercise in narcissism. But I haven’t had time for my usual idle browsing today, so instead.. A blog recommendation! + +A lovely someone I met through Nanowrimo and who was the main inspiration behind me starting this blog —Tackfiction! Go follow her on Instagram for her awesome and very bookish blog! ([Link for the lazy](https://www.instagram.com/tackfiction/)) + +That’s all for now… + +*Thought for the day: In motorcycling ****and in life**** — Look where you want to go* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-04-frenetic-scribblings--3--one-is-too-many.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-04-frenetic-scribblings--3--one-is-too-many.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9c18c19 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-04-frenetic-scribblings--3--one-is-too-many.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,48 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #3: One is too many" +date: 2017-12-04 +--- + + The text prompt is menacing today. That little cursor blinking relentlessly. Daring me to say something, when I feel like I have nothing to say. + +I’m sure every other writer understands what I’m feeling. Better than I can write about it, ironically enough. But the whole point of this ‘blogthing’ is I write every day no matter what. So here goes. + +Yesterday came a bolt from the blue. + +*The calm before the storm. Still air, clouds billowing thick as smoke. Twice as dark.* + +*Silence shattered. An explosion of a thousand shards propelled on the sudden wave of sound. The breath the sky had been holding was exhaled in a roar as a peal of thunder tolled out.* + +*It accompanied a jagged finger of lightning stabbing downwards. Vanished as quickly as it had appeared.* + +*Then another. And another. Soon the thunder hammered relentlessly like the strike of an anvil, and blades of light lashed out at the land, cloaked in squalling rain.* + +Yesterday I discovered someone I know took their own life a few days ago. + +I’m ashamed to say I didn’t know them well. But the news still hit like… lightning. + +What does one do, now? How do you go on, without? How do you help others to carry on, in the wake? + +I don’t know. + +I’m not sure I will know. In one sentence, an otherwise mundane line of text on a computer screen, my entire perspective shifted. + +Strange, how death leads to the re-evaluation of life. We weren’t even exactly close, him and I. But now he’s gone. And I won’t ever know him. Freight train of thought. + +This is more than that, though. This is a reminder. + +**One is too many.** + +One suicide is far too many. And yet the actual figure is much higher. + +How? How can we live in a world where people take their lives every single day? + +Not just how. Why? + +I don’t know. And I don’t know what to do about it. Apart from scream ‘why’ — metaphorically, perhaps literally — in hope of an answer. + +Afore the inevitability of tommorow, for some not all. + + +> Thought for the day: “Everyone you meet is fighting their own battle, be kind, always” — Unknown \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-04-gladiator.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-04-gladiator.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..11aca85 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-04-gladiator.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Gladiator." +date: 2017-12-04 +--- + + Gladiator. Sword. And Shield. Unstoppable force. Immovable object. Pain and strength. Pain and power. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-05-frenetic-scribblings--4--transience.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-05-frenetic-scribblings--4--transience.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c9590b0 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-05-frenetic-scribblings--4--transience.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,18 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #4: Transience" +date: 2017-12-05 +--- + + ![](/img/1*pqel094QFhnDClAbNh54GQ.jpeg)Photo by [Yutacar](https://unsplash.com/photos/JKMnm3CIncw?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I’m writing this on a bus today as opposed to the trains that the last three were written on. It’s an interesting metaphor, writing on the move. Writing is a journey unto itself. + +So after all that’s happened recently I had work drinks last night. Left me feeling a little worse for wear as I write this! It’s important, though. Not necessarily drinking, there’s plenty of downsides there. Taking moments to unwind, I mean. Forget, if even just for a second. + +On an aside —Guinness is completely​ different to what I thought it would be looking at it. A don’t judge a book by its cover moment I suppose. Not the world’s biggest fan of the dark stuff all the same, mind! + +No fiction from me today I think. Instead I have another author recommendation. [Kris Gage](https://medium.com/u/67d9cdce33af) writes so eloquently, particularly on the oh so complex (messy!) matters of the heart. I’d strongly recommend you check her writing out. + +Over and out. + + +> *Thought for the day: Wherever you are, be all there —Jim Elliot* \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-05-there-s-something-amazing-about-runes.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-05-there-s-something-amazing-about-runes.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..48e75c7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-05-there-s-something-amazing-about-runes.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "There’s something amazing about runes." +date: 2017-12-05 +--- + + There’s something amazing about runes. An odd cross between a letter and sentence. Packed with meaning in a few simple lines. + +Mine is Perthro. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-05-we-are-not-special.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-05-we-are-not-special.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c8e50d4 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-05-we-are-not-special.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,27 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "We are not special" +date: 2017-12-05 +--- + + ![](/img/1*Z68F4SMRusBjJ7Q8ox4Waw.jpeg)Photo by [NASA](https://unsplash.com/photos/Q1p7bh3SHj8?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)We as in humanity. + +An individual human is special. Every goddamn one of us. And the systematic and historic failure to recognise this is a crime. But that is beside the point of this particular piece. + +Humanity is not special. + +It is almost certain we are not alone in the universe. The laws of probability dictate we are not the ‘only’, nor the ‘first’, nor the ‘last’. Humanity is most likely one in a million. In the sense that we are one out of a million other species. Not special, in the sense that we are not alone, not unique in our spark of life. + +Of course, there’s no proof either way yet. But chance suggests it is only a matter of time until we know we aren’t alone. + +Some say that humanity is special. That humanity was created by an omnipotent power and that we are the top of a hierarchy. Alone in our sentience. From an — admittedly outsider — perspective, this appears *a supreme exercise in arrogance.* + +Who are we to say that we are supreme in the mortal realm? Who are we to say that we were created in the image of something infinite supreme? + +A human is everything. Every one different in a thousand tiny and not so tiny ways. + +Humanity is nothing. Just another species. On just another planet in this vast universe that **must** be teeming with life. + +Or perhaps not. Perhaps we truly are alone. In that case, the value of a single human life goes up thousandfold. Infinity plus one. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-06-frenetic-scribblings--5--day-in-the-life-of-a-lost-soul.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-06-frenetic-scribblings--5--day-in-the-life-of-a-lost-soul.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..111db8b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-06-frenetic-scribblings--5--day-in-the-life-of-a-lost-soul.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,23 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #5: Day in the life of a lost soul" +date: 2017-12-06 +--- + + ![](/img/1*wh6yn8fIXqueJ06gYN7_Hg.jpeg)Photo by [Ashley Knedler](https://unsplash.com/photos/KvD36NRFjl4?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I just got done cleaning my motorcycle, something I don’t do as often as I should. I always find it surprising quite how long it takes. But it’s also incredibly satisfying to have all that chrome at a high shine. A little ritual of satisfaction — like making beds is supposed to be. But I still don’t see the point in that one! + +Still no fiction today. Imagination just isn’t flowing. Because I can’t get a [situation](https://medium.com/@aronajones/frenetic-scribblings-3-one-is-too-many-cf794b91b165) I know nothing about, regarding a person I hardly knew, out of my head. + +Life goes on, regardless of all that happens. The world keeps turning, no matter what. That’s oddly terrifying and comforting at the same time. + +In other news, I’ve been playing a lot of Darkest Dungeon. Even on Radiant (easier) difficulty, that game is gloriously brutal and unforgiving. I’m still reeling from the loss of a Grave Robber I got too attached to. + +Spotify unleashed some ‘year statistics’ which I find quite interesting, being a huge stats nerd (I check my Medium stats obsessively). + +![](/img/1*NHCk53WurHkTO7hg8Filtg.jpeg)That’s a lot of music. Almost 60 days in fact. It’s only recently I’ve started listening to music with regularity, and now it’s a near constant presence. Background noise. After all, it’s a great crime that life doesn’t have a proper soundtrack of its own! Besides the siren song of an engine roar, anyway. I’d love an electric motorcycle, but I’d definitely miss the glorious noise. + +That’s enough rambling from me. For now. + + +> Thought for the day: I am exactly what they say I am +>  I stand for everything that they can’t stand — Notorious / Adelitas Way \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-06-from-one-biker-to-another-i-hope-you-had-heated-grips.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-06-from-one-biker-to-another-i-hope-you-had-heated-grips.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cc840fb --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-06-from-one-biker-to-another-i-hope-you-had-heated-grips.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "From one biker to another…I hope you had heated grips!" +date: 2017-12-06 +--- + + From one biker to another…I hope you had heated grips! + +Loved the piece as always :) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-06-my-gauntlets-are-vented--which-is-lovely-in-the-summer--not-so-great-right-about-now.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-06-my-gauntlets-are-vented--which-is-lovely-in-the-summer--not-so-great-right-about-now.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7c60e97 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-06-my-gauntlets-are-vented--which-is-lovely-in-the-summer--not-so-great-right-about-now.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "My gauntlets are vented, which is lovely in the summer, not so great right about now." +date: 2017-12-06 +--- + + My gauntlets are vented, which is lovely in the summer, not so great right about now. Either way, even the best glove only does so much. + +Respect! Sounds like it was quite the journey. A crusade. I hope what you found at the end was worth it — it sounds like it. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-06-so-i-hit-clap--then-clicked-off-somewhere-else.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-06-so-i-hit-clap--then-clicked-off-somewhere-else.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4c9ad0f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-06-so-i-hit-clap--then-clicked-off-somewhere-else.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "So I hit clap, then clicked off somewhere else." +date: 2017-12-06 +--- + + So I hit clap, then clicked off somewhere else. A moment later the penny dropped and I rewound. Here I am…leaving a comment! + +I love this line, oh so much. Mostly because I think it applies to a much wider scope than ‘just’ being a known writer. You have to get down in the dirt, focus with all your heart. That’s how you achieve. Something like that, anyway. + +Interested to hear your thoughts on that idea. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-07-frenetic-scribblings--6--hear-me-roar.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-07-frenetic-scribblings--6--hear-me-roar.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ac4b646 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-07-frenetic-scribblings--6--hear-me-roar.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,22 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #6: Hear me roar" +date: 2017-12-07 +--- + + ![](/img/1*SqRhHoV2KQn3DJ-FP_tikA.jpeg)There’s something about motorcycling that makes it just… Fun. Even the rare (hooray for filtering!) occasions I get stuck in traffic, I’m still grinning. Sure, it’s kinda dangerous, mostly down to the lack of awareness of other drivers. And it takes your absolute focus. Perfect control. But it is truly joyous. It makes getting places fun. It is more than just a method of transport. + +It isn’t all about the adrenaline. It isn’t all about dodging traffic. It is all about the feeling of alertness and connection. Of living. + +I apologise for the rambling and waxing lyrical, my bike is in the shop when I really want to be riding it! + +I haven’t given the day much of a chance for anything else to happen. Now that I say that, it sounds wrong. Shouldn’t be letting the day happen to me. Instead I… and you… should be happening to the day. Kick its ass! + +Last night I remembered reading about 10x. I’m certainly not the first to think on the idea, as a quick Google of 10x will reveal. But it is beginning to grow on me. 10x is taking your limit, and setting a goal 10x that. Sound crazy? Good. That’s the point. + +I have a couple ideas for how to 10x my life already. Some of which will be easier than others. I’d encourage you to think about how you can 10x too. + +Signing off. + + +> Thought for the day: Carpe Scrotum (Grab life by the balls) \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-08-frenetic-scribblings--7--in-the-blink-of-an-eye.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-08-frenetic-scribblings--7--in-the-blink-of-an-eye.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5d5756d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-08-frenetic-scribblings--7--in-the-blink-of-an-eye.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,14 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #7: In the blink of an eye" +date: 2017-12-08 +--- + + ![](/img/1*vzWzeHIePfOxPdexHmrjVg.jpeg)Photo by [Uroš Jovičić](https://unsplash.com/photos/BXOXnQ26B7o?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Just like that, this is the seventh Scribblings that I’m writing. A whole week, gone by in a flash. That’s 12-hour shifts for you, I suppose! But in between the necessity of making a living, I still found time to write. It wasn’t particularly hard either. So I’d encourage you, if you enjoy writing — or even if you don’t but want to share — write. Write every day, a sentence or a whole piece. Nobody else will tell your story, because nobody else can. + +My 3d printer has been hard at work printing a Deadpool bust knife block. An idea so perfect that I shamelessly stole from [here](http://www.instructables.com/id/Deadpool-Knife-Block/). Adapted to fit my bowie knife, rather than kitchen knives though. I’m still yet to print anything *actually useful*, but I’m having a lot of fun tinkering with it. I have some ideas for designs I’d like to create of my very own rather than just nicking off Thingiverse, but that’ll probably need to wait until the New Year. Learning 3d modelling and CAD isn’t a few quick job. + +This one’s short and sweet. Perhaps tomorrow’s will be longer. Until then! + + +> *Thought for the day: If not now, when?* \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-09-frenetic-scribblings--8--science-vs-superstition.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-09-frenetic-scribblings--8--science-vs-superstition.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d15f22b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-09-frenetic-scribblings--8--science-vs-superstition.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,22 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #8: Science vs Superstition" +date: 2017-12-09 +--- + + ![](/img/1*zcBdrLVotBhF82HLhv1azA.jpeg)Technically still meeting my goal of writing every day — very technically though! + +I’m a scientist through and through, fiercely reliant on facts rather than faith. I tend towards being genuinely against organised religion — in short because I believe it’s too prone to corruption and dogmatism. But that’s a topic for another day. + +Personal spiritual belief, without all the trappings of the ‘modern religion’ and its prophets, is another matter entirely. While lack of empirical evidence and my refusal to just ‘have faith’ mean I don’t hold belief in a recognisable manner… I’m not entirely without.. Belief. + +As you may know, I’m an avid fan of the Norse mythos. I wear a Mjolnir pendant near enough 24/7, and that, is the subject of this rambling and somewhat controversial blogthang. + +I wouldn’t call it true belief in the Norse pantheon. But I have a little ritual involving my pendant for when I want luck. It seems to work. + +But maybe that’s not the work of the hammer. Maybe it’s a placebo effect — if you believe you’re lucky you will be. That sounds far too optimistic for my usual liking, but I’ll let it slide. Suppose it’s counterbalanced by the hardline stance against organised religion! + +Phew, that was a long train of thought turned rant/thinkpiece. Hopefully there’s something interesting in there somewhere. Normally abnormal service will be resumed tommorow! + + +> Thought for the day: A causal stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything — Neitzche \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-10-frenetic-scribblings--9--winter--wonder-land.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-10-frenetic-scribblings--9--winter--wonder-land.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..11ea385 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-10-frenetic-scribblings--9--winter--wonder-land.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,26 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #9: Winter ‘wonder’land" +date: 2017-12-10 +--- + + ![](/img/1*ScS4soya5-WJWWwh1Qf8_A.jpeg)Snow’s great, a ton of fun. Until it stops you getting to work. Then it’s infuriating. Because England is notoriously unprepared for snow, it doesn’t take a lot to bring the country to a screeching halt. + +The snow is barely ankle deep. It was forecast at a 100% chance several days in advance…and yet there was no grit to be seen. And I live a couple miles from a salt storage! Winter tyres or chains are pretty much unheard of here, so cars spinning out or getting stuck is a regular sight. + +As I tweeted earlier, I reckon Britain would cope better with the actual apocalypse than a couple snowflakes! + +And of course, since my main commute is normally on two wheels…that was out of the question. Instead of a 10 minute drive it was an hour and a half walk. And then of course, now that I’m at work it was barely worth coming in because all our customers are snowed in! + +Two lessons to be learned here I think. Quite clearly one is that Britain and its drivers badly need to learn how to handle snow. Particular as climate change continues to sharpen our winters. + +The other lesson is one of perseverance. I hate not honouring commitments and the idea of not turning up to work because of a little stupid snow annoyed me. + +So I put on my boots and I went to work. + +It was actually quite a nice walk — and I was going at about the same speed as the few drivers that braved the roads! As a bonus, the staff party we had planned for after work is still going ahead, so that will be fun. + +Until tommorow, keep warm and stay safe out there! + + +> Thought for the day: A river cuts through a rock not because of its power, but because of its persistence. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-10-you-put-it-much-better-than-i-did.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-10-you-put-it-much-better-than-i-did.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..78a6f89 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-10-you-put-it-much-better-than-i-did.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "You put it much better than I did!" +date: 2017-12-10 +--- + + You put it much better than I did! + +My Medium stats aren’t great. Sometimes it gets me down a bit. But still I write. Because I enjoy it, just the act of doing it. + +It’s exactly as you say. Nobody talks about it, because you can’t sell love. You can sell tips and tricks for marketing and whatever, you can’t sell someone on the love of the craft. That’s something they (we!) have to grow themselves. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-11-frenetic-scribblings--10--the-balance-of-things.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-11-frenetic-scribblings--10--the-balance-of-things.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fe5fb22 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-11-frenetic-scribblings--10--the-balance-of-things.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,26 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #10: The Balance of Things" +date: 2017-12-11 +--- + + ![](/img/1*gOf7zbB_WYZkR1mu-nAQ8A.jpeg)Entirely from personal experience — no basis in any kind of fact or science — life is balanced. Good and bad, equal. Good deeds have a bad counterpart or side effect and visa versa. Maybe it’s not true. Probably, in fact. But it seems that way. + +In less words, life is a rollercoaster. + +It doesn’t mean good isn’t worth it. On the contrary, it’s all the more so. Good is always worth it. + +On a similar note, I’m a born cynic. But I’m also beginning to realise that sometimes cynicism holds you back. Sometimes you gotta take a leap of faith instead of always planning for the worst. + +Though planning for the worst is good. Almost as good as seeing the future in fact. + +That was an odd mix and match of sections of my life philosophy. A philosophy in a near constant state of flux. But with some core, unshakable values. Honesty being utmost. + +Inspired by Gibbs from NCIS I sat down and wrote out a life code for myself. I’d encourage you to do the same. But also — don’t be afraid to rehash and edit those rules as you change and grow. + +Or don’t. At the very least, think. Step back and think about your life philosophy. In the meantime, see you tommorow! + + +> Thought for the day: Without the darkness we’d never see the stars.(Yes, I know that’s a quotation from Twilight of all things, but even a broken clock is right twice a day) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-12-frenetic-scribblings--11--the-power-of-the-routine.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-12-frenetic-scribblings--11--the-power-of-the-routine.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a77e4fb --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-12-frenetic-scribblings--11--the-power-of-the-routine.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,20 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #11: The power of the routine" +date: 2017-12-12 +--- + + ![](/img/1*tO6yh-odg-YDLazUQ6FWVQ.jpeg)I’ve added reading to my daily routine. Several articles on Medium per day, and I intend to re-add reading fiction to the mix too. Every day. + +Not only has this helped me think critically about my own ideas, and indeed discover things I just didn’t even think about, its rewarding in that it has been just plain interesting. Life is a constant search for knowledge and reading is a highly efficient way to borrow other people’s! + +The most crucial thing that reading every day has resulted in, however, is the ability for me to write every day. Reading and writing are a feedback loop. If you want to write, and write well, first you must read. + +But reading a lot won’t instantly make you a great writer. Becoming great at anything, regardless of how much natural talent you were gifted with, requires practice. It requires hours and hours of beating on your craft, honing. Your skills. + +Not just writing, anything of importance. Make time for the things that matter, every single day. Soon they’ll become as natural - and as easy — as breathing. + +Signing off. + + +> Thought for the day: George R.R. Martin — 'A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.' \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-13-frenetic-scribblings--12--on-politics--general-and-personal.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-13-frenetic-scribblings--12--on-politics--general-and-personal.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3fabb71 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-13-frenetic-scribblings--12--on-politics--general-and-personal.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,34 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #12: On politics, general and personal" +date: 2017-12-13 +--- + + ![](/img/1*IusHlMlJi09EvSlO_3YCYg.jpeg)Photo by [Warren Wong](https://unsplash.com/photos/bh4LQHcOcxE?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Politics is always a thorny subject, often avoided at dining tables and dinner dates everywhere because of the friction it can cause between people. + +The thing about politics is that it is intrinsic to all of our lives, like it or not. At the end of the day, politics is simply…people. Politics is the interaction between each of us, and between us and society. Between societies, regions, countries. Perhaps one day, between planets. + +People feel strongly about politics because politics is, quite literally, life. Broad categorisations like ‘right’ and ‘left’ serve to increase a tragic ‘Us and Them’ mentality that is endemic in today’s society. + +Humanity is humanity, every one of us valuable. The sooner more people realise that — if they ever do — we can start to move forward as a species. Think of what we could do, if we’d stop blowing each other up for a second. We’d quite literally reach for the stars. + +That said, if I had to label it, I suppose I’d be left leaning centrist. But then again on some thing’s I’m undeniably and outspokenly radical. + +Libertarian ideas about individual autonomy within the context of one’s own life are attractive to me. But so are traditionally socialist ideas about a societal safety net and communal good. Equally, the usually conservative proposition of a lean, anti-bureaucratic government is something I strongly support. An eclectic mix of different views, somewhat ‘cherry-picking’ of policy. But based on fundamental and unifying principles of logic and compassion. Dogma and tradition for its own sake have no place in my world view. + +Then are my more extreme views, as aforementioned. I often entertain the idea of a technocracy — a government wherein the experts of each field don’t just advise, but govern. It’d be impossible to implement, particularly with today’s rise in anti-intellectualism, but it’s a nice thought. + +More radical still are my transhumanist tendencies. I feel we have a duty, as a species, to use all in our power, all the technology we have created, to improve ourselves and our surroundings. Particularly, the eradication of disease, the utmost of these being (physical) aging and death. A view I am quite aware is strongly controversial. + +This loops back to what I said earlier — labeling politics is just like labeling people. Outmoded, and not fit for purpose. + +As I said in a recent post, and will reiterate now, it’s also crucial to keep re-evaluating your own views. Listen to the ‘other side’ and what they have to say. Respect them despite their differences. + +Unless they’re a literal Nazi! Most things are relative, circumstantial. A handful of things are absolute wrongs. Genocide being one of them. I cannot in wildest imagination conceive a scenario where someone might deny that. Can you? + +That got quite long, longer than I was intending. That’s politics for you. + +Stay critical, stay civil! + + +> Thought for the day: Pericles — ”Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you.” \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-14-but-finding-your-bias-is-exactly-the-point.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-14-but-finding-your-bias-is-exactly-the-point.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9c057cc --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-14-but-finding-your-bias-is-exactly-the-point.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "But finding your bias is exactly the point!" +date: 2017-12-14 +--- + + But finding your bias is exactly the point! You’re not truly meant to be relinquishing your life to chance, only helping yourself figure out what your heart wants. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-14-frenetic-scribblings--13--on-the-act-of-scribbling-frenetically.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-14-frenetic-scribblings--13--on-the-act-of-scribbling-frenetically.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a3332fb --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-14-frenetic-scribblings--13--on-the-act-of-scribbling-frenetically.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,20 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #13: On the act of scribbling frenetically" +date: 2017-12-14 +--- + + ![](/img/1*DICLi3mVUJX57TGp4kndbQ.jpeg)Photo by [Eugene Zaycev](https://unsplash.com/photos/FT0sspZRF-I?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Thirteen days in, and I’m still not sure exactly what it is I’m achieving with this series. The splashes of fiction I tossed into the original few are gone. Maybe they’ll come back sometimes. Some days I write in a blog sort of way about my experiences. Others I just write about something that the day’s reading sparked off in my head, with no real mention of my life at all. + +It feels, a little, like I’m just slapping the ‘Frenetic Scribblings’ label on my first and often only piece of writing for the day and calling it good. I am achieving my goal of writing every day, the one thing that I’m certain about what this series is intended to achieve. But I don’t know if I’m making anything more from it. I’m writing for the joy of it, which is the key thing, but I still struggle with what should be a Scribblings, and what should be a piece in its own right. + +Adding ‘Frenetic Scribblings’ to the title of piece feels as if it should have some special meaning, and it often doesn’t. The crux of the issue, I think, is that Scribblings is more a format than a true series. Occasional fiction interwoven with the non-fiction thinkpiece, and a thought for the day to finish. So there’s nothing making that a daily thing. It is my thoughts on that day, but not necessarily *about* that day. Perhaps that’s what it needs to be to keep it special. + +But I am only a little over two weeks into this project. The bare minimum goal for me to consider this a success is if I write a Scribblings every day for a year. That’s a lot of words. So I think it’s okay if it takes me a while to figure out exactly what Scribblings is, and what I want it to be. + +Today’s original Scribblings was going to be on time and its value, but I’m going to release that as a standalone piece alongside this one. + +Yours thoughtfully, until tomorrow. + + +> Thought for the day: Terry Pratchett — “It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life.” \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-14-i-m-broadly-a-subscriber-to-the--wasteland-apocalypse--narrative.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-14-i-m-broadly-a-subscriber-to-the--wasteland-apocalypse--narrative.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..10b01aa --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-14-i-m-broadly-a-subscriber-to-the--wasteland-apocalypse--narrative.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I’m broadly a subscriber to the ‘Wasteland Apocalypse’ narrative." +date: 2017-12-14 +--- + + I’m broadly a subscriber to the ‘Wasteland Apocalypse’ narrative. But you’re right, We do have enough cynicism. + +You’ve inspired me to throw a splash of optimism into even the darkest writings. Perhaps even to explore the setting of an ‘Wilderness Apocalypse’. + +Thanks for the spark. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-14-replace-balance-with-focus---change-the-way-you-think-about-time-and-lose-regret.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-14-replace-balance-with-focus---change-the-way-you-think-about-time-and-lose-regret.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0d7479a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-14-replace-balance-with-focus---change-the-way-you-think-about-time-and-lose-regret.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,18 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Replace balance with focus — Change the way you think about time and lose regret" +date: 2017-12-14 +--- + + ![](/img/1*Rp0IgwDF7N6VXJfwi64WmQ.jpeg)Photo by [Daniele Levis Pelusi](https://unsplash.com/photos/aRf1hjEHlhA?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I wrote the other day [about 10xing](https://medium.com/@aronajones/frenetic-scribblings-6-hear-me-roar-a01589fa869). Taking a goal, or an achievement, and striking for 10x that. It sounds crazy, and its supposed to. + +Life is too short, no matter how long it is. Because there’s just too much to experience. The volume of things is growing at an insane rate. We live in an age where there’s a million different things to watch, read, listen to…on and on. Creators are pumping out better and better content at ever increasing rates, which is itself a very positive sign of a societal shift towards creativity. Creativity being, I believe, the greatest strength of humanity. + +But life doesn’t have to *seem* too short. While it will always remain so, we have enormous power over our perception of time. Inspired by [this article](https://medium.com/the-mission/why-there-is-no-such-thing-as-time-management-4d514a21060a), I’d encourage you to say screw it to balance. Focus. Focus on one thing completely, give it all of your attention. All of your time. Then focus on something else. Don’t try and balance your time between a million different things. I myself am guilty of this since I love to do a million different things, am very much a jack of all trades. + + +> William Penn — Time is what we want most, but… what we use worst.Trying to do everything at once will confuse and overwhelm you and rapidly burn you out. Find a focus, concentrate on it to its fullest, and then find the next. That’s the key to 10xing your achievements, and to ‘stretching out’ your perception of timing. To giving you the time to achieve all that you want and more. + +After all, once gone, it can never be got back. **The one thing there truly isn’t enough time for in this life is regret.** + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-14-thoughts-on-the-education-system---to-hell-with-the-classroom.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-14-thoughts-on-the-education-system---to-hell-with-the-classroom.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..dd740ad --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-14-thoughts-on-the-education-system---to-hell-with-the-classroom.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,81 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Thoughts on the education system — To hell with the classroom" +date: 2017-12-14 +--- + + ![](/img/1*x2gUD6BhNjkF7ac4UEwg5Q.jpeg)Photo by [Roman Mager](https://unsplash.com/photos/5mZ_M06Fc9g?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I’ve spent the majority of my life in formal education, as is typical for someone who’s 19. But maybe it shouldn’t be that way. + +I’ve been home-schooled, private-schooled, public-schooled. Taught by people from all walks of life, in all sorts of things. But the most important lessons I learned at school can’t be found in some government curriculum, or a meticulously prepared lesson plan. I learnt them from the people I found there. + +The academic education system faces a multitude of major flaws that I feel are doing me and my generation a huge disservice. + +#### Taught to memorise facts and pass tests, rather than to truly learn + +I remember analysing mark schemes in every subject from English to Biology. To pass a standardised test as a nonstandard individual (i.e. everyone) it isn’t always enough to know the right answer. You have to tick the boxes. To think in just the right way. + +Creative thinking, and being critical, is passively discouraged. The best teachers will overcome this and allow you to learn whilst still being able to get that grade. Because those aren’t one and the same, though they very much should be. + +A good memory is rewarded much more than it has any right to be. Rote memorisation of anything from key facts to entire essay answers allows anyone with the memory capacity to simply regurgitate what they remember — but often do not know or understand — and get great marks. I have a terrible memory, particularly with dates. So to pass history exams I’ve had to rely on my genuine interest in the subject and the natural flair I’ve been told I inject into my writing. Others just learnt the facts and dates by heart and did as well, if not better, than me. + + +> I’ll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there’s evidence of any thinking going on inside it. — TERRY PRATCHETTI’m not sure how this can be solved, but I’m also not convinced that people truly want it to be. Society requires critical thinkers to advance, and yet…these critical thinkers, the Jeff Bezoses and Elon Musks, stand on the shoulders of a multitude of those that are ‘just getting by’. Following societal rules and norms because they’ve been taught from an early age that this is just fine. + +#### Criminal underpayment and overwork of great teachers + +In an odd parallel to the industry I now work in (food service) the perfect storm of low pay, long hours and high workload is killer. + +Teachers are responsible for shaping the future of the up-and-coming generation. And yet, society doesn’t seem to value this job as highly as it absolutely should. Instead it overloads teachers with paperwork and pays them terribly for the privilege. + +To survive and thrive in teaching demands passion. You have to love your job, because you’d have to be mad to do it. And love is intrinsically shot through with madness. + +You could almost twist that to be a good thing, saying that such conditions and demand for love ensures only the best remain in teaching. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way in reality. There’s plenty of anecdotal evidence to refute that. A teacher’s handling of a personal issue I had at my previous school encouraged me towards barely-avoided alcoholism. That teacher was the school’s pastoral head no less. + +#### 90% of learning in 10% of time + +My handwriting is terrible. Honestly medical doctor level awful, bad enough that I was granted the use of a laptop in classes and exams. From that moment, my productivity rocketed. + +I wrote all sorts of things, probably some of the earlier pieces I’ve published on this very site. I programmed a lot, honed my self-taught skills. I read continuously. More often than I should, I just screwed around or chatted to friends on the Internet. + +I have no problem admitting that because I still engaged with the lessons as much if not more so than the others around me. Teachers rarely noticed I was distracted. That might come across as egotistical, and I suppose it is to a degree. + +But it doesn’t take much to realise school is packed with unnecessary downtime. Free periods, registrations, form time and all the other nonsense that eats into time that should be spent learning. + +What I learnt spread over a week of school could be condensed into a couple of hours of actual learning. I’m a quick learner, but that’s not the point. The fact is the knowledge is drip fed, when it could be placed in front of you at once for you to digest in your own time. + +As someone that works in short intense bursts of concentration — frenzied scribblings as it were — this suits me particularly badly. Hence the large proportion of time I spent doing my own thing. But I think the recent rise in the idea of MOOCs and online learning/self-teaching in general reinforces my point. People learn differently, and at different rates. This is compounded by the fact only really good teachers know how to compensate for this and accommodate the learning strategies of all those they are teaching. + +#### The classroom problem + +As I wrote right at the start, I learnt more from the people I was surrounded by than the actual contents of the lessons. I’ve also learnt more by ferociously reading articles on Medium than I usually ever did at school, but that’s a topic for another time. + +A lot of subjects are inherently unsuited to being taught in a classroom manner. Some are obvious, like practical subjects. These don’t get enough focus in the school system in general, but that’s also a tangential topic. + +Creative subjects, too, I don’t think suit it very well. They’re also difficult to evaluate using standardised tests. Science is easier, because right and wrong is valid in science. Facts are facts, no matter how they’re dressed. Right or wrong doesn’t apply to creative subjects. + +As an example, I hated English as a school subject. And yet here I am writing one or more Medium pieces a day, tweeting incessantly, and with a novel in the works. Because I don’t hate english, I hate English. Capital E english, the ‘subject’. English has rules, and those stifle creativity. Often I take more joy than I probably should in breaking those rules carefree. + +In particular, I was taught that ‘one should never start a sentence with a conjunction’. But, who gives a damn? Language is a function of communicating between people. Provided that you can still communicate effectively, does it really matter how exactly it’s structured? I suppose you can call me a Grammar Antifascist! + +The way to learn to write is simply to do so. To find your own voice, you have to use it. And use it repeatedly. + +#### The Final Word + +Just as technology is disrupting many established industries from automotive to energy, I think that education is due a disruption. + +Mainly: + +* Train and pay teachers properly, goddamnit. Their job is perhaps the most important of any of us. They shape the future more than we are comfortable realising. +* Provide an increased emphasis on nonacademia. Practical skills are increasingly valuable, despite the Digital Age. There’s quite a primal joy to it too. +* Stop wasting students’ time! Strip out the fluff from the schoolday. Challenge those that need to be challenged, support those that need to be supported. +* Rethink the way that education is done at a core level. It’s already happening with the shift towards programs like Open University. 21st-Century learning shouldn’t look the same as 18th-Century learning. +Teaching people to rote-learn and pass tests breeds a frustration with what they have been misinformed is learning. Telling people that learning just means staring at a textbook is an injustice. + +Learning is a constant process. People need to be taught how to learn, how to teach themselves, and even better, how to teach others from their experiences. + + +> “If you want the kids’ test scores up, bring back band and bring back shop and get kids actually learning stuff instead of teaching them how to take a test,” — Adam SavageOnce someone discovers the true joy of learning something new, there will be no stopping them. A robust education system that is simultaneously flexible enough to accommodate the style differences of different students would be a monumental step towards a better World. + +Utopian and dreamy, definitely. But certainly achievable. If we’d just find the drive. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-14-to-paraphrase-a-chunk--shotglass--of-wisdom-i-remember-seeing.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-14-to-paraphrase-a-chunk--shotglass--of-wisdom-i-remember-seeing.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6096e6c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-14-to-paraphrase-a-chunk--shotglass--of-wisdom-i-remember-seeing.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "To paraphrase a chunk (shotglass) of wisdom I remember seeing," +date: 2017-12-14 +--- + + To paraphrase a chunk (shotglass) of wisdom I remember seeing, + +When faced with paralysing indecision, flip a coin. As it is in the air, you will realise the right choice. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-15-frenetic-scribblings--14--the-odd-attraction-of-anachronism.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-15-frenetic-scribblings--14--the-odd-attraction-of-anachronism.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fcae83a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-15-frenetic-scribblings--14--the-odd-attraction-of-anachronism.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,24 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #14: The odd attraction of anachronism" +date: 2017-12-15 +--- + + ![](/img/1*y0blUdplcRki9eWqZq09wg.jpeg)Yesterday I wrote a letter. An actual physical letter. My handwriting being as terrible as it is, I typewrote it. + +I acquired a 1937 Smith Premier ‘portable’ typewriter a little while ago. Best charity shop find ever! It could use a little renovation, which I intend to do…. Eventually. For the time being it works quite nicely. + +It’s interesting to see that it’s missing some symbols. Notably, the exclamation mark, though the question mark is present. It also doesn’t have a 0 key, capital O is used interchangeably. + +I can, however, write emoji with it. There’s something about that… making 21st century symbols on a 20th century machine, that is… Pleasing. + +It’s a lovely bit of kit. Don’t get me wrong, I love computers and the ability to edit and revise my writings. The restriction of being unable to delete can be a blessing as well as a curse. + +I love it for letter writing because it keeps me honest — allows me to write in a true stream of consciousness style. Straight from the heart, as it were. Immortalising my spelling mistakes is no fun though! + +In a practical sense, a word processor is better than a typewriter. But there’s something a little magical about using one. And in specific situations, like letter writing, perhaps it can even be better. It certainly feels more personal. + +And the ‘thwack’ of hammer on paper is just gloriously satisfying. No mechanical keyboard can quite replace it. + + +> Thought for the day: “True alchemists don’t change lead into gold; they change the world into worlds” — Willam H. Gass \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-16-frenetic-scribblings--15--lessons-in-better-life-outlook.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-16-frenetic-scribblings--15--lessons-in-better-life-outlook.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..381473c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-16-frenetic-scribblings--15--lessons-in-better-life-outlook.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,26 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #15: Lessons in better life outlook" +date: 2017-12-16 +--- + + ![](/img/1*V9RCA8lg3fgs7o_y0kEJ_w.jpeg)Nothing in life comes free. Nor, if it is worth having, does it come easy. + +Not all cost is necessarily financial, nor immediately apparent. + +My point is that perseverance and tenacity is worth more than talent. Talent gives you a head start, but won’t stop you from being overtaken by someone committed and determined. Talent helps, practice doubly so. + +It is said that it takes seven years to master any particular thing. As a rule of thumb that sounds about right — there are naturally some things easier or, more often, harder to truly master. But considering this, I.. And you… Have the opportunity to master a great many things in our comparatively lengthy (but still criminally short) lifespans. All it takes is a lot… **A metric ton**… of dedication. + +Tangentially, positivity is infectious. More so than I realised. If you have no reason not to… smile. If you make an effort to radiate positive energy (ugh, the cynical streak in me hated writing that) you’ll be surprised how much of it is reflected back at you. On that note, I have a duty to thank the person that managed to make a realist and cynic like myself realise this at last. You know who you are. Tangent over. + +I am having a great deal of difficulty deciding where I want to go next in life. But reminding myself of the time available helps remind me that the decision doesn’t carry as much weight as it sometimes feels as if it does. + +Choosing one path over another in life does not necessitate the other paths become closed to you. Sometimes, they are. Decisions still matter, are still worth thinking about. Thinking hard. + +But nothing is forever. That’s life’s greatest blessing. And its greatest curse. + +Over and out. + + +> Thought for the day: We will either find a way or make one. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-16-i-have-a--halfway-house--of-typewritten-letters.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-16-i-have-a--halfway-house--of-typewritten-letters.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e0618b1 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-16-i-have-a--halfway-house--of-typewritten-letters.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I have a ‘halfway house’ of typewritten letters." +date: 2017-12-16 +--- + + I have a ‘halfway house’ of typewritten letters. They retain most of the personality of handwriting, and in my case especially, have the added bonus of being *actually legible*! + +I agree with your thoughts, particularly about the extra ‘emotional depth’ a physical letter provides. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-17-frenetic-scribblings--16--kitchen-life.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-17-frenetic-scribblings--16--kitchen-life.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b9f76cb --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-17-frenetic-scribblings--16--kitchen-life.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,30 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #16: Kitchen life!" +date: 2017-12-17 +--- + + ![](/img/1*LuH6HIykUhMkyqGH9FjGwA.jpeg)Working in a commercial kitchen is a more difficult job than I think most of the general public realise. + +The hours are long, the pressure is intense and the pay is terrible. I often joke that kitchens run on foul language, caffeine, cigarettes and (post shift!) alcohol. Though I only say it jokingly, my Kitchen Manager has a saying of her own — every joke hides a kernel of truth. In this case, my ‘joke’ has more than a kernel. Almost without fail any kitchen worker abuses caffeine, nicotine and/or alcohol just to get through the week. More often than it’s all three. + +I myself am far too dependent on coffee and energy drinks. I’m going to try to limit the damage by going cold turkey on caffeine in the New Year. That’ll soon tell me if I’ve developed a full blown dependency as I suspect I have! + +The industry sorely needs a change, but I don’t see it happening in the near future. It’s largely outside of the power of individual pubs and restaurants to change conditions in kitchens without committing financial suicide. + +Fairer pay and more staff (of which the former feeds into the latter) which are most needed, can’t happen without raised prices that would have to be passed onto consumers. Which would drive business away. Consumers would have to be made aware of conditions, and there would need to be a coordinated effort of businesses to raise prices tougher. Unlikely to happen. But writing this is my own (small) way of pushing towards that. + +Nevertheless, in a more positive light, kitchens don’t just run on substance abuse. Good kitchens also run on individual work and smooth teamwork fueled by camaraderie. + +Bearing under the stress of a busy service demands from you a level of focus that will make you a calmer person outside of the kitchen. + +Bonds forged — in the semi-literal fire of the ovens and grills — are incredibly strong. + +So despite the poor conditions and worse pay, I’m immensely grateful for the chance to be part of such a strong team. It’s teaching me many life lessons that I have no doubt will continue to be valuable in the years to come. + +Perhaps if everyone had to work retail or food service, everyone would treat those people a little better! + +Over and out. + + +> Thought for the day: Pressure can burst a pipe, or pressure can make a diamond \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-18-frenetic-scribblings--17--out-with-the-poison.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-18-frenetic-scribblings--17--out-with-the-poison.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..264be85 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-18-frenetic-scribblings--17--out-with-the-poison.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,36 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #17: Out with the poison!" +date: 2017-12-18 +--- + + ![](/img/1*N8tciFPmFh8laDb5WK9yRw.jpeg)Photo by [Jez Timms](https://unsplash.com/photos/jIejftgdU3w?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)There’s something in human nature that makes us inherently self destructive. The foremost being a collective desire to intentionally poison ourselves. I am, if it wasn’t already given away by the choice of image, referring to alcohol. + +Yes, I did have too much to drink recently. Yes, it was the inspiration to finally write this piece. But no, I don’t write this *just *because* *of a hangover. I’ve been contemplating this for a while, actually. + +Maybe the idea of too much to drink is ridiculous. Because maybe any is too much. + +I’m not the first to realise it, and I won’t be the last. Nevertheless, I find it important to share my thoughts irrespective of how generic they might be. + +Society makes drinking not only acceptable, but in fact encouraged. However, if you take an outsider’s perspective, as I have done most recently, alcohol, pubs and the like are…quite insane. + +Spending an hour’s wages *per drink *([That’s foodservice for you!](https://medium.com/@aronajones/frenetic-scribblings-16-kitchen-life-e6c0e2324094)) just to get a bit of a buzz doesn’t seem like such a good idea in the cold light of day. It seems like even less of a good idea when your head is spinning and you’re trying to make sure someone you care about, who’s also had too much, is safe. That was the moment that was the real wake up call. I was angry. Angry at myself because I was powerless. Trapped inside my own body, almost. That’s an awful feeling. + +So I say again. Maybe any is too much. + +Alcohol is destructive. Sure, it makes you feel good, and gives you (false) confidence. But the reason it does this is it is **literally poisoning you**. + +Don’t even get me started on drinking and driving. Not even drunk driving, drinking at all. Personally I feel the law should be zero tolerance on that — forget the ‘safe limit’. Particularly as a motorcyclist — in which I refer you to my open statement about self-destructive nature — I’m vulnerable enough without impairing my judgment. Or god forbid (but more likely), being hit by someone else who’s impaired their judgment. It has more of an effect than you think. Just don’t do it. Tangent over. + +Don’t get me wrong, drinking — or not — is entirely a personal choice. I’m by no means going to become a militant teetotalitarian. But regardless I’d encourage you to step back as I have. + +No doubt I’ll have to fight society on this. That’s the worst part of it, in fact. If someone doesn’t want to drink, for whatever reason, they’re often peer pressured into it. As in all things, ‘No’ should be an acceptable answer. **No explanation required.** + +Call me a ‘fun sponge’ or whatever if you like. But if you find yourself thinking you ‘need’ alcohol to have fun, maybe you need better hobbies. Or better friends. + +I’m not going completely teetotal, mainly because there are some drinks I enjoy a glass of for the flavour, not the effect. You won’t catch me doing shots anytime in the foreseeable future, though. + +With a clear head, signing off. + + +> Thought for the day: Mary Pettibone Poole — Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-19-frenetic-scribblings--18--living-in-the-moment.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-19-frenetic-scribblings--18--living-in-the-moment.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9e92504 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-19-frenetic-scribblings--18--living-in-the-moment.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,39 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #18: Living in the moment" +date: 2017-12-19 +--- + + ![](/img/1*YogBihLw4GFgg1FugiGgUg.jpeg)Photo by [Gabriel Barletta](https://unsplash.com/photos/XNb5Jtx2Yl8?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)As outlined in [a previous piece](https://medium.com/@aronajones/minds-eye-blind-93509e102fe), I have a blind mind’s eye. + + +> I don’t see mental images. It’s incredibly difficult to describe what I do see, but certainly not the vivid mental imagery that I’m told others experience.Something I idly wonder about fairly often is what it would be like to see life from someone else’s eyes. It sounds crazy to me that people see *in their head* in even a similar way to how they see reality — as it no doubt sounds crazy to those of you that can see…that I can’t. Nevertheless, I will attempt to describe the experience of seeing from my perspective. + +When I close my eyes I don’t see anything. + +Just blackness. + +If that sounds terrifying to you, that’s because it kinda is. + +I don’t have memories in the same way other people do. I have incredibly poor recall to begin with — I often half joke that if a fact doesn’t stick the first time it never will. In particular I’m notorious for forgetting where I put things. I can’t retrace my steps to find whatever it is I’ve lost because I can’t picture them in my head. + +So yeah, it sucks. Sometimes it sucks hard. Good memories fading away into a haze or being unable to recall scenes in the first place, is a genuinely soul crushing feeling. + +But it’s also an opportunity. + +I live moment to moment. Spontaneity wasn’t in my nature, but it’s grown on me over time from the fact I don’t really have…a memory. Not in the same way other people have described theirs anyway. It’s difficult to truly know. But it’s shaped my life philosophy more than I usually realise. + +I can’t look back longingly at the past, because it’s lost. + +I can’t look speculatively in the future, because I can’t picture what it might be like. + +I can only look at what’s right in front of me. The here and now. + +Like many things in life, it’s both a blessing and a curse. + +Either way, there’s nothing I can do to change it, so all I can do is make the best of it. + +**I do this by wringing every ounce of experience out of every damn moment that I breath. I’d vehemently encourage you to do the same.** Even the overwhelming majority of you out there with unclouded minds eyes. + + +> Thought for the day: Charles R. Swindoll — **Life** is 10% what happens **to you** and **90% how you react** to it \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-20-frenetic-scribblings--19--fun-on-two-wheels.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-20-frenetic-scribblings--19--fun-on-two-wheels.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2549a41 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-20-frenetic-scribblings--19--fun-on-two-wheels.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,34 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #19: Fun on two wheels" +date: 2017-12-20 +--- + + ![](/img/1*Dks5Rw_5uXWJweT4a12nPQ.jpeg)Heads up — This’ll be a much more informal and ‘bloggy’ post than usual because I actually have stuff to talk about for once. + +Passed my motorcycle theory test this morning, though I’m not sure how. If I hadn’t had one of the craziest rides of my life on the way there, I might have failed Hazard Perception what from still being asleep! + +My body clock is totally out of whack now from a 6am start. That might not sound early to you, but as someone used to 10am get ups… its really thrown me off. It’s almost like jet lag! + +Anyway… The ride. Mostly on National Limit back roads, which for those of you not English, means a roughly one and a half (!) car wide road full of twists and turns. With a 60 mile an hour speed limit. + +Since people often treat speed limits more as speed targets, that makes these kind of roads kind of insane as a new rider getting used to the finer points of cornering. (I.e finding the balls to *really* lean over) + +These roads are mad enough in perfect conditions. The darkness, fog and drizzle this morning doesn’t qualify as perfect! + +Drizzle is a real pain in the arse as a motorcyclist, since we don’t have windscreen wipers for visors! Doubly worse for me since I wear glasses under my helmet, so opening the visor means they get wet and I get blind. + +Dazzle from light diffused by the water is a serious problem… But I’d rather be dazzled than not see the vehicle at all! As soon as it got light, even though it was still drizzling and misty… some people switched off their lights. Making them almost invisible from my point of view. + +Just because you can see doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have your headlights on! They also help others see you. It’s the same logic that means I ride with dipped headlights at all times. Every little helps with idiots on the roads. Idiots that apparently want to be invisible… + +Anyway, rant over. One of the reasons cornering is such a black art on a motorcycle is you have to fight instinct every step of the way to do it properly. Leaning over being the prime example, but also that you should never close the throttle in a corner. Which is something I’ve done instinctually several times. + +Even if you’re going wide you should only lean harder and if you must touch the rear brake. Speed and stability are directly connected on a bike. And when you’re leaning hard…. Stability is quite important! + +I know the theory, as I just demonstrated. But applying it is quite different. Particularly since it is so against instinct. + +God does taking a perfect line through a corner feel great though. + + +> Thought for the day: Antoine Predock - The connection to place…the visceral experience of motion, of moving through time on some amazing machine \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-21-frenetic-scribblings--20--another-day--another-life.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-21-frenetic-scribblings--20--another-day--another-life.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a4e28f1 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-21-frenetic-scribblings--20--another-day--another-life.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,20 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #20: Another day, another life" +date: 2017-12-21 +--- + + ![](/img/1*fAmXP3rNP49zv-PiBrzY6A.jpeg)Photo by [Clayton Caldwell](https://unsplash.com/photos/nFAKTXxah1Q?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)*Another ‘bloggy’ one today. Maybe these will become the new format. Alternatively, I’ll just keep flitting like a butterfly from one style to another. That sounds much more like me…* + +Alcohol [may be poison](https://medium.com/@aronajones/frenetic-scribblings-17-out-with-the-poison-39163ec3309f), but it’s also an effective ‘social lubricant’. Had a drink or two tonight, purely because I was in an unfamiliar environment. It’s a convenient crutch that will take me a little while to forget (ironically enough). I’m convinced that doing so, despite the painful awkwardness, will be worth it. I know that I could have had fun without it, it was just a shortcut to avoid awkwardness. A cheat, not necessary. + +Finally got done (except from a couple ‘presents in bottles’ I need to grab tomorrow) with Christmas shopping today and as a bonus a special package that had a 50/50 chance of arriving in time for Christmas turned up today. It’s definitely an expensive time of year, even though I’ve cut back significantly on the list of people I originally intended to buy for. I cringe a little bit when I see my ‘spend for the month’ — way over budget! I’m not too annoyed though, since Christmas is Christmas. I’ve been feeling unusually festive, after all. + +And it’s payday tomorrow, which means I should be able to book my Motorcycle practical test for the New Year. If I can find a moment to sit down and figure out dates, anyway. Can’t wait to get a bigger bike. My next bike is going to be a naked style — a mate has a KTM naked in slate grey and neon orange and I’m quite jealous. Should be an nice change, and a new set of challenges. Learning to use the rear brake a *lot* less will be…interesting. On a related note, as I was happily explaining while chatting about bikes to cagers (car drivers) today, biking is very dangerous. The trouble is, its just too damn fun to give up. + +Gonna be a busy week coming up, I’m not sure how I’m going to find time to write, particularly on the 24–26th. But it’d be a shame to break my streak so early, so I’ll do my damnedest to get a piece up, even if it may be incredibly brief. + +Until tomorrow. + + +> Thought for the day: Unknown — “Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you.” \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-22-frenetic-scribblings--21--why-i-don-t-swear-online--and-why-i-ve-decided-fuck-that.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-22-frenetic-scribblings--21--why-i-don-t-swear-online--and-why-i-ve-decided-fuck-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7dd796c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-22-frenetic-scribblings--21--why-i-don-t-swear-online--and-why-i-ve-decided-fuck-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,24 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #21: Why I don’t swear online, and why I’ve decided fuck that" +date: 2017-12-22 +--- + + ![](/img/1*5BWm5g2Hn_CGBZSQ_Z7sDQ.jpeg)Those that know me will be well aware that I swear like a sailor. Working in a commercial kitchen *really *hasn’t helped that. I can now swear in several new languages though! + +But until now I’ve kept profanity away from my public Internet presence. The reason I’m more cautious to swear on the Internet is the indelible nature of anything written on here. + +A vital rule of thumb is ‘nothing is ever deleted from the Internet.’ I urge you to be cautious about what it is that you post, lest it come back to bite you. Hence the PG language policy I’ve held until now. + +It wasn’t about being kid friendly, since control of a child’s Internet usage and the language they are exposed to is up to the parents. It was more about being… cautious. + +Particularly about future employment. But I’ve realised — and I don’t know why it took me this long — that anywhere that wouldn’t hire me based on (justified!) profanity is a place I wouldn’t have wanted to work at anyway. + +Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to become foul mouthed for the sake of it. But I’ve decided that using the full breadth of language is important. Sometimes emotive language is necessary to get a point across — and profanity is one of the foremost forms of emotive language. + +Maybe I’ll come to regret this decision. Regardless, I’ll enjoy my freedom to use the full breadth of language. Sometimes it’s necessary. + +Out. + + +> Thought for the day: You are pretty fucking awesome. Keep that shit up. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-23-frenetic-scribblings--22--skipping-a-beat.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-23-frenetic-scribblings--22--skipping-a-beat.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e226ca8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-23-frenetic-scribblings--22--skipping-a-beat.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,30 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #22: Skipping a beat" +date: 2017-12-23 +--- + + ![](/img/1*jwWAAmcYvUjFMXv4oliVnw.jpeg)Photo by [Daniel Jensen](https://unsplash.com/photos/Hfg3xK7KDDk?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)As I begin this piece, it is 11:44pm. To keep my daily writing streak intact, even if in the most technical of senses, I must hit publish before midnight. Let’s see how that works out for me. This will be not just frenetic, but frantic scribbling! + +Today was quite uneventful. Right up until the journey home. I had time to write earlier, but inspiration wasn’t flowing. Now…it is. + +I almost crashed my motorcycle. Leaning hard over into a corner, I saw myself going too wide. Rather than gently apply the rear brake, I reflexively closed the throttle. The rear wheel skidded out, heralded by a grinding crunch of metal meeting asphalt. My heart stopped. In the same instant I wobbled upright again and rolled back on the throttle to regain stability. The same instincts that almost caused a crash saved me from it. A beat skipped, but my heart restarted. + +It’s a wonder I didn’t high-side from it in all honesty. High-siding, for those unfamiliar, is where the back wheel loses traction then suddenly regains it. In the wrong circumstances, this can catapult you over the bike like an ejection seat. This is as opposed to low-siding, where you ‘only’ lose traction and wipe out. (Been there, got the dents and bruises) + +Apart from the evergreen point that motorcycling is insanely dangerous and yet somehow magnetic in its attraction, this is a timely reminder of mortality. + +Do. + +Do **now**, because tomorrow is not guaranteed. + +Live. + +Live **now**, there is no ‘later’. + +(And you can forget about the afterlife, though that is a point for another day) + +Until tomorrow, ride safe if you do (you should, regardless). And remember to live. + + +> Thought for the day: Eckhart Tolle — It is not too uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-24-frenetic-scribblings--23--another-slice-of-life.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-24-frenetic-scribblings--23--another-slice-of-life.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b8791e6 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-24-frenetic-scribblings--23--another-slice-of-life.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,22 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #23: Another slice of life" +date: 2017-12-24 +--- + + ![](/img/1*zI2hnZZVpm8NAxhs37MJgg.jpeg)*Another bloggy one today* + +I’ve been working all day today. Same tommorow and Boxing Day. That’s pub life, I suppose. Good money, though —double pay tomorrow! + +We work hard to make other peoples’ Christmas go smoothly. My ‘Christmas’ will be on the 30th. It doesn’t much bother me, since I’ve always been a bit of a grinch (less so lately though) but it’s a perfect example of how the general public don’t realise the retail and food service industries *really* suck to work in. That and it’s an excuse to give people things, something I always take to with gusto. An expensive but worthy tendency. + +I’m looking forward to January, wherein I should have time to take my A2 bike test and get my hands on that bigger bike. I am also jetting off to America at some point for a welding course at Lincoln Electric. + +Haven’t even had a moment to sit down and and figure out when I’m doing that. I also need to put in a uni application as soon as I can — but I’m struggling to write these every day nevermind other stuff. + +Still not sure on this ‘slice of life’ format, but nevertheless I will persist. Expect a very short post tommorow. + +Until then. + + +> Thought for the day: Be a fountain not a drain \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-25-as-other-riders-have-already-said--damn.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-25-as-other-riders-have-already-said--damn.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cc5f11a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-25-as-other-riders-have-already-said--damn.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "As other riders have already said… Damn." +date: 2017-12-25 +--- + + As other riders have already said… *Damn*. 17 hours in the winter is a **truly epic** ride. Hell it’d be a marathon journey by car.. Nevermind on two wheels. + +I’ve barely started riding but regardless this piece speaks to me in the way you seem to know that it will. + +I feel irritated that the claps button maxes out at fifty. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-25-damn-straight.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-25-damn-straight.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fb3dc3a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-25-damn-straight.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Damn straight." +date: 2017-12-25 +--- + + **Damn straight.** + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-25-frenetic-scribblings--24--fight--damn-you--fight.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-25-frenetic-scribblings--24--fight--damn-you--fight.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..33d68b8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-25-frenetic-scribblings--24--fight--damn-you--fight.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,32 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #24: Fight, damn you, fight" +date: 2017-12-25 +--- + + [*Inspired by this piece*](https://medium.com/@krisgage/read-this-if-you-only-sort-of-have-your-shit-together-b2c1daa3715a) + +‘Not giving a damn’ might be one of the greatest skills it is possible to develop. (I’m still working on it myself.) + +When I say not giving a damn, I don’t mean stop caring full stop. Far from it. I mean caring *intensely *about* *what matters and not giving a damn about the rest. Particularly about other people trying to tell you what’s important. + +Don’t let anyone else dictate what you want. Because only you can see that for certain. You have a duty to yourself. A duty to reflect and figure out what matters to you. + +Maybe you don’t know what you want in the future, or where your life is going. I certainly don’t. It doesn’t matter. + +Find what you value *right at this moment. *Everyone has something or somethings. Maybe someone(s). + +Then dig in your heels and **fight** for it. + +Fight, damn you, fight. + +Focus on the little things that aren’t so little. Anything and everything that makes your mind or heart sing. + +Some things are worth fighting for. And maybe definitely they’re the only things worth anything. + +The rest will figure itself out. + +Until tommorow. + + +> Thought for the day: F. Scott Fitzgerald — You don’t write because want to say something, you write because you have something to say \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-26-frenetic-scribblings--25--easy--tiger.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-26-frenetic-scribblings--25--easy--tiger.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..901eb52 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-26-frenetic-scribblings--25--easy--tiger.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,28 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #25: Easy, tiger" +date: 2017-12-26 +--- + + ![](/img/1*C547D5BdRsA6qdzFz-5GgA.jpeg)Photo by [Kristopher Roller](https://unsplash.com/photos/PC_lbSSxCZE?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Allow me, if you will, to teach you a anecdotal lesson. That you probably already know. But don’t like to know that you know. + +I’m riding home on a dual carriageway in pouring rain. Because of the conditions I slowed down to allow the gap to the vehicle in front to widen to about twice the norm. Almost immediately, the vehicle behind me overtakes and fills the gap. I drop back some more…same thing happens. Rinse repeat three or four times until my exit. + +Saving seconds by risking lives. + +Put like that, it doesn’t sound like a good deal, does it? Sure as hell doesn’t to me. + +But to be entirely fair it doesn’t feel like that at the time. Humans are by nature impatient. When we have a destination in mind — we want to get where we are going. Half the time, if we stepped back to think about actions we take while journeying, we’d think ourselves crazy. I for one have made several maneuvers that have surprised me, nevermind others. + +Stupid. Reckless. But only in hindsight. + +It genuinely took an effort of will to maintain a safe stopping distance gap as rain seeped into my ‘waterproof’ (nothing ever is) boots. It was truly an exercise in patience — something I need to apply more often. + +However, patience is only a virtue in moderation. Don’t spend your whole life being patient, moving slowly and surely. Not every opportunity will be served up to you. Sometimes…often, even…risk is necessary. But eliminate the unnecessary risks first. Spend your risk wisely, as it were. There is no perfect moment to strike. An average opportunity becomes the perfect moment the instant you decide it is **the** moment, and grab for it. + +Be the eye’s calm *and* the storm’s force. Seek the balance between immovable patience and unstoppable motion. + +Until next time, signing off. + + +> Thought for the day: Ralph W. Emerson — Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-27-frenetic-scribblings--26--fear--philosophy-and--in-consistency.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-27-frenetic-scribblings--26--fear--philosophy-and--in-consistency.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cdec1dd --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-27-frenetic-scribblings--26--fear--philosophy-and--in-consistency.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #26: Fear, philosophy and (in)consistency" +date: 2017-12-27 +--- + + ![](/img/1*SBqLm83YLjJSbDDa0Z_TSw.jpeg)Photo by [Leio McLaren](https://unsplash.com/photos/flEStjHTY14?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Forge your own path. You are unique, you are powerful. + +Use fear as guide when you burn your path. + +If you are afraid, if you are uncertain — it means you’re doing something right. If you are uncertain of a decision, it means that you care enough about the outcome. + +Use fear as a guide, but don’t let it consume and paralyse you. Don’t let it stop you from living. + +This is something I am still working on. But that’s ok. Life and self are works in progress. Things like ‘perfect’ and ‘complete’ don’t exist. Contextual perfection, however, is possible. + + +> Strive for progress, not perfection — UnknownI once again feel torn. My life philosophy is back-and-forth. Often contradictory. I’ll advise [patience](https://medium.com/@aronajones/frenetic-scribblings-25-easy-tiger-d130c68c8057) one moment and explosive action the next. A large part of what Scribblings and my other writings are is my trying to figure out the big questions (and the little ones too). Sharing my journey of simultaneous self-discovery and world exploration. + +But more and more I’m coming to the conclusion that trying to define ‘my view’ is like trying to [define love](https://medium.com/@aronajones/the-science-of-love-5845aa40a031). My view…isn’t. It’s one thing one moment, and another the next. It’s one thing on one hand, and something different another. + +In other words, I find it near impossible to have a cohesive and consistent view. And maybe that’s just fine. **Because since when has life been cohesive and consistent?** + +Damn the past. It’s got nothing new to say. + +Damn the future. It hasn’t happened yet. Might not. + +There is only this moment and the next. + +Maybe one day I’ll figure it out. Figure out life…and everything. I doubt it. Dealing in absolutes isn’t my thing. Either way, signing off. + + +> Thought for the day: Atticus Finch — [Courage is] when you know that you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-28-frenetic-scribblings--27--hammers-and-ink.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-28-frenetic-scribblings--27--hammers-and-ink.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..31c9f5a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-28-frenetic-scribblings--27--hammers-and-ink.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,32 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #27: Hammers and Ink" +date: 2017-12-28 +--- + + ![](/img/1*JKji4E42--HjZeF-h3JKHg.jpeg)I'm drafting this with an actual pen and paper in a borrowed notebook. Because my phone died on the Underground. An excercise in poor planning, typical of me. It's a wonder I've made it this far with my writing streak, to be honest! + +Now, to today's actual topic... + +As I've mentioned in Scribblings past, I'm a little bit of a Norse obsessive. + +I wear a Mjolnir pendant almost 24/7, I want to learn Icelandic despite the fact I suck at languages and Vikings is maybe my favourite TV show ever. For a history buff like myself the fact accuracy is not sacrificed in dramatisation is very pleasing. + +The root of my mild obsession is that the Norse mythos is just so damn cool. From Ygddrasil to the World Serpent, from Hel to Valhalla, it’s incredibly... Metal. And I do love me some metal. (not screamo though… Just the heavy drum, bass and guitar lines) + +I don’t just wear the Mjolnir pendant because it’s neat looking and metal as hell though. There’s an element of superstition behind it too. + +Only superstition, though. Not belief, and certainly not faith. I don’t believe in Odin or Thor (much as I think they’re awesome), just the same as I don’t believe in any god. But I do wear the pendant like a talisman. A good luck charm as it were. + +Perhaps that’s all it takes. Half believing that the pendant brings me luck — even if I don’t *truly* think so — changes my mindset enough that things work out better and I perceive it as luck. + +Maybe I just ruined that effect for myself by thinking too hard about it. A placebo effect as it were. It remains to be seen. + +Sometimes a little magic is nice. But not in the face of facts. Somehow show me evidence of Odin and I’ll happily pray to him. + +Phew… that was hard work. Massive respect to anyone who slogs through NaNoWriMo using pen and paper! + +Until next time — Skál! + + +> Though for the day: Rune of Perthro — “The beginning and end are set. What’s in between is yours. Nothing is in vain, all is remembered.” \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-29-frenetic-scribblings--28--space-in-between-spaces.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-29-frenetic-scribblings--28--space-in-between-spaces.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2da4664 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-29-frenetic-scribblings--28--space-in-between-spaces.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,32 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #28: Space in between spaces" +date: 2017-12-29 +--- + + ![](/img/1*a_1X4qhi64JmdhkAogHaOQ.jpeg)Time in between times. The period between Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve is an odd one. Business hours return to normal, but people don’t. It is a time filled with sleep and food, a time of quiet. Of contemplation. + +I keep drafting stories but never quite getting them to a place where I’m happy to hit publish. Even though I know each piece will never be perfect, I keep re-editing them. Just as time is caught in an odd limbo in this period, so is my writing. Stuck in revision hell. + +Clicking publish always feels very final. Mistakes otherwise unseen suddenly jump out at you the moment you’ve unleashed it on the world. It shouldn’t feel like that. Each piece is only a fragment of thought. A splinter off an overarching work. A work that is a search for meaning, and understanding. + +I write first and foremost for myself. I write because I’m trying to figure out what the world is, and who I am within it. + +A (relatively) long time ago now, I was taught to question. Particularly, to question the whys and hows of things. + +Why is the sky blue? + +How does gravity work? + +Why isn’t life fair? + +How do I find purpose? How does anyone? + +Being taught to question, rather than accept ‘I don’t know’ or ‘Because it is’ was one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. + +Not for anyone that has to field my questions, though! Fortunately for my family, these days that’s mostly introspection and the Internet. Who knows, maybe I’ll even find some answers eventually. + +Until tommorow, keep questioning! + + +> Thought for the day: Stephen Hawking — The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-29-i-did-a-double-take-when-this-came-up-in--new-from-your-network--since-i-recognised-the-name-and.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-29-i-did-a-double-take-when-this-came-up-in--new-from-your-network--since-i-recognised-the-name-and.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3f8cdac --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-29-i-did-a-double-take-when-this-came-up-in--new-from-your-network--since-i-recognised-the-name-and.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I did a double take when this came up in ‘New from your Network’ since I recognised the name and…" +date: 2017-12-29 +--- + + I did a double take when this came up in ‘New from your Network’ since I recognised the name and the face. For a big place, the Internet sure is small. + +Some damn fine points here. Particularly about labels, something I’ve been trying to draft a piece on myself. Watch this space, I suppose. + +Keep fighting, as I will also. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-30-all-you-do-is-sit-down--and-bleed.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-30-all-you-do-is-sit-down--and-bleed.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e1ee0ab --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-30-all-you-do-is-sit-down--and-bleed.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,35 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "All you do is sit down… And bleed" +date: 2017-12-30 +--- + + ![](/img/1*ug9TIbMQlsa4SGxbs0kwgw.jpeg)Photo by [Joel Filipe](https://unsplash.com/photos/99neAF8kqhg?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)My best writing goes unpublished. + +Some is written down physically, and sent away. + +Some is locked away. Consigned to eternal draft hell. + +Some is published under an anonymous pen name. + +Reading that work back occasionally feels as if it was written by someone else. Written by the Frenetic Scribbler within me. + +The Bleeding Writer within me. + +It’s my best work and yet I take no pride in it. + +Because my best is also my worst. + +Writing is at its best when backed by strong emotion. + +Perhaps the strongest emotion of all is pain. + +Writing is not pain. But it flows from it. + +All writers bleed, in a way. + +But writing also lets you control the pain. Control it…and yet unleash it. + +Let the words flow like blood! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-30-frenetic-scribblings--29--anchorpoint-in-the-eye-of-chaos.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-30-frenetic-scribblings--29--anchorpoint-in-the-eye-of-chaos.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a34c243 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-30-frenetic-scribblings--29--anchorpoint-in-the-eye-of-chaos.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,88 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #29: Anchorpoint in the eye of chaos" +date: 2017-12-30 +--- + + ![](/img/1*gN5K-mCCunX5d2y1UOlAzw.jpeg)One of the few things in my life that I treat in an absolute manner are my rules. + +Gibbs from the TV show NCIS was the original idea behind my writing down of life rules. Indeed, I have shamelessly stolen some of his rules. + +It is key to clarify that these are not rules I would ever dream of applying to others. These are created by myself (and Gibbs) and apply to myself alone. + +Just like my pendant, they are a constant. One of few Life is a constant flux, and in particular the past few years have been a whirlpool of change for me. The rules have been an invaluable guide in my darkest hours. + +The rules have changed too, but not much. Refined, a couple added. Twice a single one removed, each time accompanying a massive shift in my life outlook. + +They are semi-private, shared with a select few. Or, I should say, were. Because I’ve decided to share them. To wear my life code like a badge, in no small part to aid me in staying true to them. + +It’s why I consider them absolute. The rules can be bent, but they should not be broken. As the rules themselves reference. Any time I have broken my rules, it hasn’t worked out well for me. Once, it almost killed me. + +So here is my life code. An incomplete window into my life philosophy. Refined gradually over time, but staying true at the core. Transcribed as an odd collection of wisdom splinters. + +Perhaps these, as Gibbs did for me, will inspire you to write out your own previously unwritten rules. It’s a worthy exercise. + +In no particular order, except for the fact rules 0-2 are considered central. + +0. Question. Always. + +1. Live to the benefit of others. +2. Mean what you say and say what you mean. +3. Don't believe what you're told. Double check. [G] +4. If you have a secret, the best thing is to keep it to yourself. The second-best is to tell one other person if you must. There is no third best. [G] +5. You don't waste good. [G] +6. Judge people on their actions alone. +7. Always be specific when you lie [G] +8. Never take anything for granted. [G] +9. Aim for the best +10. Plan for the worst +11. You never really realise what you have, until it's taken away. +12. Words are a weapon like any other. Use them as such. +13. [REDACTED] +14. Bend the line, don't break it. [G] +15. You don’t need a reason to say thanks. +16. If someone thinks they have the upper hand, break it. [G] +17. There are no third chances. +18. It's better to ask forgiveness than ask permission. [G] +19. Be ruled by head not heart. +20. You can’t make rules for the heart. Only guidelines. +21. [REDACTED] +22. Practice may not actually make perfect, but it certainly bloody helps! +23. Look to the future, but not too far. +24. Hope is the one thing this bastard universe cannot take from you. +25. You gotta take the bad with the good. +26. Both bad and good are finite. +27. Sometimes preparation is as good as seeing the future +28. If you need help, ask! [G] +29. Live in the present. The past is past, the future is uncertain, but the now is yours to shape. +30. Today you...tomorrow me. +31. Life's too short to live in fear. +32. Never say never +33. Information is power. +34. Always expect the unexpected. +35. Be unpredictable. +36. If it feels like you're being played, you probably are. [G] +37. Sometimes, you have to allow yourself to be weak in order to grow stronger +38. Philosophising never actually helped anybody. +39. There is no such thing as coincidence. [G] +40. Never leave a debt unpaid. +41. A man’s honour is his life. +42. Don't ever accept an apology from someone that just sucker-punched you. [G] +43. Never make a promise you can’t (don’t) keep. +44. Sometimes...less is more. Or says more. +45. Clean up your messes. [G] +46. Just because things are, doesn’t mean they ought to be so. +47. Don’t ask why. Ask why not. +48. Life ain’t. fair. Don’t settle for the hand you’re dealt. When you can, stack the deck. +49. [MERGED] +50. Would it help? +51. Sometimes - you're wrong [G] +52. Nothing comes free. Not all cost is financial. +53. Hold lightly, do not strangle +54. If something is worth doing, it’s worth overdoing. +Interesting that throughout all the tumultuous change of what I suppose are my ‘formative years’ these rules ring as true for me as they always did. Here’s to being better at following them. + +Until tommorow, there you have it. + + +> Thought for the day: Robert Frost — I took the [road] less traveled by, and that has made all the difference \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2017-12-31-frenetic-scribblings--30--betwixt-past-and-future.markdown b/_posts/2017-12-31-frenetic-scribblings--30--betwixt-past-and-future.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a98dd82 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-12-31-frenetic-scribblings--30--betwixt-past-and-future.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,42 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #30: Betwixt past and future" +date: 2017-12-31 +--- + + ![](/img/1*_o81YbJg_qxXhHaZFWiWhQ.jpeg)And so we stand. Astride the years. + +For this day and this day alone. The time between two days is the time between two years. + +New Year’s Eve is special because it signals a divide. Between past and present, between present and future. It is also associated with death of the old and birth anew. + +If there is any time for reflection, it is now. Look forward, look back. Stand astride the years and look each way. + +Then leap. + +Dive into the future. Into new adventures. + +Go forth with all your heart. I’m a firm believer in the principle of what you put in being returned to you. + +So put in everything. + +Reflect, but don’t let it tie you down. + +Drink deeply, from life and all its experiences. + +Tonight will be my last night devil-dancing with alcohol. I know myself and I know I’ve been but a small step away from addiction. Better to stop myself now than to attempt to wring myself out later. + +I also intend to join a gym going into the New Year. My resolutions couldn’t get more stereotypical, except for the fact they are not resolutions. + +The root of New Year’s Resolutions being notoriously difficult to stick to is [the mindset around them](https://medium.com/@krisgage/how-to-keep-resolutions-and-do-2018-right-db3610658409). You can’t change something in your life just by thinking you ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’. + +You have to want the change. To embrace it. For me, giving up alcohol is something I have been considering for a long time. It’s not a resolution in the traditional sense, resolution just happens to be a good word for it. And New Year’s happens to be a symbolic time. + +If you want to change with the turning over of the years, you have to truly want to change. Desire it, set your resolve. Change is a fight, so dig in for it. + +After that, all begins to fall into place. + +I make no apologies for the following cliche… Until next year! + + +> Thought for the day: You’re always one decision away from a totally different life \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-01-burn-fierce--burn-bright.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-01-burn-fierce--burn-bright.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4580635 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-01-burn-fierce--burn-bright.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Burn fierce, burn bright" +date: 2018-01-01 +--- + + ![](/img/1*MaUmG4lXNv3gyWEvruDQFA.jpeg)Crimson like full lusty lips, beckoning you into a kiss. The flame of passion. + +Electric blue like the roar of a blowtorch, the crackle and snap of lightning sparks. The flame of drive. + +Clear like open air, shimmering on a hot summers day. The flame of spirit. + +White like a melded rainbow, colours melted together into searing snow. The flame of hope. + +Yellow like gilt leaf wrought defiant on crisp white page, glowing against. The flame of optimism. + +Cherry red like the core of a star, the roaring celestial furnace. The flame of strength. + +Blood red like the torrential force pumping through your veins, the rush of power and vitality. The flame of life. + +Pink like petals on the most delicate of roses, wafer thin and dancing to the breeze. The flame of love. + +Crimson, Electric blue, Clear, White, Yellow, Cherry red, Blood red, Pink. + +These are the flames. + +Passion, drive, spirit, hope, optimism, strength, life, love. + +These are **your** flames. + +Let them burn bright. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-01-frenetic-scribblings--31--don-t-look-back.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-01-frenetic-scribblings--31--don-t-look-back.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3936268 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-01-frenetic-scribblings--31--don-t-look-back.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,38 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #31: Don’t look back" +date: 2018-01-01 +--- + + ![](/img/1*e_wzHoQKPlwMtFlbuYalAQ.jpeg)Photo by [Fab Lentz](https://unsplash.com/photos/mRMQwK513hY?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Every writer is different. Not just in their particular turn of phrase. Not just in their writing style, though that is often the difference most apparent. + +Writers are different because writing is different. Writing flows from experience, it is intrinsically personal. + +Everyone writes differently. + +Maybe you plan, maybe the words just stream from you without thinking. + +Maybe you edit obsessively. Or maybe you do the barest of checks before tossing the piece into the wild. + +Maybe you write frenetically when the mood takes you, and then suddenly stop. Maybe you write at a set time each day. + +Personally, I don’t know how I write. I just kind of…think onto paper. Inspiration particles strike me at random, setting off a web of lightning within my brain. Then the words stream forth, without thought. Or sometimes the words have to be coaxed out, dragged from the darkest recesses. + +The reason I sometimes have a massive coalescence in my draft hell is because I suffer from editor’s block. Sometimes, I write a piece, but hitting publish then and there doesn’t feel right. For one reason or another, the words that flowed out . So it sits, and I inevitably return to it. Edit and re-edit, but something still doesn’t feel right. + +I get caught in the trap of desire. Desire for perfection. A perfection impossible to achieve, so it becomes a cyclical death spiral. The only solution is to say ‘to hell with it’ and hit publish anyway. Spend too long looking backwards and you’ll inevitably trip over. Keep moving forward, keep publishing. It won’t be perfect — but is anything? + +That’s how I break out of editor’s block. Just hitting publish. + +Infinitely easier said than done. I have to stop myself obsessing over stats. I have to remind myself that each piece is an imperfect fragment in a still more imperfect overarching work. Writing is not easy, publishing is not easy. But it **is** worth it. + +How you write doesn’t matter. + +The important thing is that it is written. + +Tell your story, **yell it loud**. Nobody else will. + +Because nobody else can. + + +> Thought for the day: Making mistakes is better than faking perfections \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-01-i-won-t-tell-you-it-gets-better--because-i-d-be-lying.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-01-i-won-t-tell-you-it-gets-better--because-i-d-be-lying.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b1411f0 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-01-i-won-t-tell-you-it-gets-better--because-i-d-be-lying.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I won’t tell you it gets better, because I’d be lying." +date: 2018-01-01 +--- + + I won’t tell you it gets better, because I’d be lying. + +It does, however, get easier. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-02-i-know-the-exact-feeling-of-hitting-publish-then-flaws-instantly-springing-out.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-02-i-know-the-exact-feeling-of-hitting-publish-then-flaws-instantly-springing-out.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7fc5aed --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-02-i-know-the-exact-feeling-of-hitting-publish-then-flaws-instantly-springing-out.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,17 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I know the exact feeling of hitting publish then flaws instantly springing out." +date: 2018-01-02 +--- + + I know the exact feeling of hitting publish then flaws instantly springing out. + +Wonderful analogies, that share still more parallels with my own writing style. Right now I have 15 drafts in my Medium queue. 14 of those are just WIP headlines, a string of trigger words. Kernels of ideas that came to me at inconvenient times. Or that the mood just hasn’t struck me to elaborate on yet. + +One of those drafts is a fully written piece. It’s had several editing passes. I’ve had someone read it and tell me it’s the most powerful piece I’ve ever written. I myself think it is one of my best. But I cannot hit publish. Not becauase I don’t want to, but because it is as you say. + +That piece, should I ever share it— would split me wide open. And I’m not quite sure I want to do that yet. I’d like to, some day, though. + +I’ve yet to delete anything I’ve published. I suppose that’s a good thing. I understand the panic, though. That much is certain. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-02-i-tried-to-write-about-this-exact-idea-a-few-days-ago-and-gave-up-because-i-couldn-t-find-the-right.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-02-i-tried-to-write-about-this-exact-idea-a-few-days-ago-and-gave-up-because-i-couldn-t-find-the-right.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9482a75 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-02-i-tried-to-write-about-this-exact-idea-a-few-days-ago-and-gave-up-because-i-couldn-t-find-the-right.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I tried to write about this exact idea a few days ago and gave up because I couldn’t find the right…" +date: 2018-01-02 +--- + + I tried to write about this exact idea a few days ago and gave up because I couldn’t find the right encapsulating phrase. + +Well I just found it. Perfect, just perfect. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-02-it-s-so-metal-though.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-02-it-s-so-metal-though.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..dfa454d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-02-it-s-so-metal-though.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,19 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "It’s so metal though!" +date: 2018-01-02 +--- + + It’s so metal though! And reminds me of Pratchett in the balance of laugh-out-loud humour with incisive wit. + +It sums up your brand eloquently, I feel. And certainly a fair warning! + +My bio is edited frequently. There’s something so…worthy, in being asked to describe myself — who I **am **— within a concise character limit. It’s edited as I find better ways to describe that. + +And as what I’m trying to describe changes. + +Or maybe I place far too much weight on a couple of sentences. Regardless, I certainly feel that those few words are tied to my identity. As they should be, I suppose. + +Fish in a field, you say? Well, it’s decidedly less odd than submariner cows. Though odd nevertheless. Here’s to not-entirely-mentally-stable muses — yours and mine both! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-02-once-again--i-know-exactly-what-you-re-talking-about.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-02-once-again--i-know-exactly-what-you-re-talking-about.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a43cf24 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-02-once-again--i-know-exactly-what-you-re-talking-about.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Once again, I know exactly what you’re talking about." +date: 2018-01-02 +--- + + +> those two or three words were meant to remind meOnce again, I know exactly what you’re talking about. I try to write out full headlines, if not a scatter of notes too, to try and combat this effect. But there have been moments where I made the trigger words slightly too cryptic. Sometimes I can retrieve the idea with enough thought. More often than not it is abandoned in place of the 100s more swarming in its place. + + +> Wait until you’re dead and then make someone rich — a bit like Whistler’s mother.If I don’t find the right…frame…to publish it soon, I should like to rig it to a deadman’s switch. A fine idea, that. I’m afraid I must confess having to look up what you meant by ‘Whistler’s Mother’, though I am richer for having done so. + +We seem think in a very similar manner, you and I. Glad to have found a fellow mind, so to speak! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-02-some-people-seem-to-like-to-let-pieces--rest--before-publishing.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-02-some-people-seem-to-like-to-let-pieces--rest--before-publishing.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..da68564 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-02-some-people-seem-to-like-to-let-pieces--rest--before-publishing.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Some people seem to like to let pieces ‘rest’ before publishing." +date: 2018-01-02 +--- + + Some people seem to like to let pieces ‘rest’ before publishing. I find the ‘fear of hitting publish’ skyrockets if I do that, so I try not to. Each to their own — it’s the words that matter. + +Unrelated, I love your bio. Hell yeah, Carpe Jugulum! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-02-some-things-stick.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-02-some-things-stick.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9d57992 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-02-some-things-stick.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,23 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Some things stick" +date: 2018-01-02 +--- + + ![](/img/1*X4VofJKYLiAOeG9eBrRFWg.jpeg)Photo by [Evan Kirby](https://unsplash.com/photos/D_TxRcAH7DY?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)My blind mind’s eye pretty effectively neuters my memory. Because I can’t recall the image of a situation, I often can’t recall it at all. Forgetting where I put things is the rule, not the exception, for me. + +Cruel joke of the gods, that. Give a man who’s greatest fear is loss a memory that deprecates rapidly. Moments come and go. Memories mostly go. It is the way of things, and there isn’t a great deal I can do about it. So I bear it. + +Some things stick, though. + +A moment with a sufficient degree of emotional resonance will stick with me, even if I remain unable to recall the image of it in my head. + +Moments like the splintering of an innocent heart. Theirs, or mine. + +Moments like the ignition of passion. Spark striking flame, a mushroom fireball. + +Moments like those of greatest gain. And of greatest loss. + +My mind is like a sieve, selecting if not the particularly good or bad, but the significant of all kinds. Mostly, though, the sand of time streams through. Always a blessing and a curse. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-02-to-be-immortal.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-02-to-be-immortal.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..54d132f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-02-to-be-immortal.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,32 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "To be immortal" +date: 2018-01-02 +--- + + ![](/img/1*d0Eng6DqoTaYH4fj-sw0dQ.jpeg)Photo by [Jordi Ganduxe](https://unsplash.com/photos/TyIQPn00XQY?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)There are two paths to immortality. + + +> Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. — Benjamin FranklinWhich will you choose? + +I admit to cheating a little. Life’s unfair, after all, so why should we be fair back? I choose both. + +I will do. I will do crazy things, just because I can. Better to ask ‘why not?’ than ‘why?’. And I will strive to touch the lives of others, in the most positive way that I can. Make the biggest splash, so that it may take the longest to fade away. + +I will write and write. Write with fury, attack with definite quantity and hopeful quality. In this I hope to produce something worth reading. In this I hope to produce a work that carries my name into immortality. + + +> Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken? — Terry PratchettFor I fear death above all things. + +But, I’ll not spend (waste) my whole life waiting to start living. Instead I’ll spend it living as hard as I can. + + +> If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become part of someone else’s story. — Terry PratchettI fear death. It is human nature to fear change, to cling to what we know. More than that, I fear loss. Fear the changing of the guard. The out with the old, even if it brings in the new. And death is the ultimate among losses, so it stands to reason that it is the ultimate of my many fears. + +Perhaps not the best driving force, the fear of death. It sure as hell lights a fire under me, though. For that I am oddly grateful. + +Live hard so that you may be immortal, even if only in name. + +GNU Terry Pratchett + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-03-by-inflammatory-language-i-mostly-meant-strong-language--i-haven-t-exactly-been-restrained-in-other.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-03-by-inflammatory-language-i-mostly-meant-strong-language--i-haven-t-exactly-been-restrained-in-other.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4ff0256 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-03-by-inflammatory-language-i-mostly-meant-strong-language--i-haven-t-exactly-been-restrained-in-other.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,27 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "By inflammatory language I mostly meant strong language, I haven’t exactly been restrained in other…" +date: 2018-01-03 +--- + + +> Define ‘inflammatory language’ as you understand it.By inflammatory language I mostly meant strong language, I haven’t exactly been restrained in other ways. Interested to know what sort of language you were considering. + + +> Jein — it’s difficult to do a shaggy-dog-tale with brevity, for instance.Agreed, though I think it’s important in the case of a bio— and thank you for adding ‘Jein’ to my vocabulary. + + +> run her up the poleEr yes, perhaps you *should* rephrase that. + + +> You know … this is, not exactly disturbing … not yet anywayIt’s quite odd, isn’t it! + +Exactly that, knowing that something is probably stupid has never stopped me. My motorcycle tends to accentuate this, I’ve had several moments on the road that made me try and kick my past self for actually going through with things. The exception to this is a couple of things I am genuinely afraid of — heights for example. Therein common sense and fear combine to bash sense into me *prior* to the intended act. + +Sounds to me like you have had a similar series of unfortunate events to me. I can assure you I am definitely not *Her*, not least anatomically! + +That said, I cannot prove I am not you. + +But when it gets down to brass tacks, can either of us prove we exist? Independent of whether we are trying to prove one existence or two… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-03-cats--genies-and-toothpaste-tubes-indeed.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-03-cats--genies-and-toothpaste-tubes-indeed.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..dc30f06 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-03-cats--genies-and-toothpaste-tubes-indeed.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Cats, genies and toothpaste tubes indeed." +date: 2018-01-03 +--- + + Cats, genies and toothpaste tubes indeed. + +Regardless, it is nice to feel a little less alone in being endlessly snuck up on or attacked by shoals of ideas. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-03-frenetic-scribblings--33--dropping-of-the-hammer.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-03-frenetic-scribblings--33--dropping-of-the-hammer.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..35d8e0c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-03-frenetic-scribblings--33--dropping-of-the-hammer.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,24 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #33: Dropping of the hammer" +date: 2018-01-03 +--- + + ![](/img/1*JatkWK8xDFuzpfgt8grDWA.jpeg)I believe I wrote a few Scribblings ago about my observed law of good chasing bad and vica versa. + +This idea tends to taint good times since I am expecting something bad around every corner. Always a few clouds in the sky as it were. I don’t hate it, though. It makes me better prepared for the inevitably of when those clouds roll across the sun. + +The storm always hits in the end. + +But it also always passes in the end. + +Just as good times always end, so must the bad. + +The storm always breaks, eventually. + +This knowledge makes weathering the storm easier. + +Circumstances mean I must cut this short. The storm has just begun, after all. + + +> Thought for the day: There are some things you can only learn in a storm. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-03-i-had-an-odd-feeling-it-was-familiar-from-somewhere--though-i-didn-t-immediately-realise-it-was.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-03-i-had-an-odd-feeling-it-was-familiar-from-somewhere--though-i-didn-t-immediately-realise-it-was.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c2cd5ff --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-03-i-had-an-odd-feeling-it-was-familiar-from-somewhere--though-i-didn-t-immediately-realise-it-was.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,19 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I had an odd feeling it was familiar from somewhere, though I didn’t immediately realise it was…" +date: 2018-01-03 +--- + + I had an odd feeling it was familiar from somewhere, though I didn’t immediately realise it was Pratchett. So many novels, after all. Imitation is the greatest form of flattery, and all that. + +Living life without regret is something I try and often fail to do myself. But I think it is very important, risk be damned. Can’t be waiting our whole lives to start living. + +I’ve not had much success with inflammatory options in the past. Possibly related to my previous unwillingness to use inflammatory language. Here’s to testing the boundaries.. + +Exactly that. The necessity of brevity adds extra weight. Like Twitter pre 240 characters. + +Fish in a field… cows under the sea. It seemed logical and perfectly clear in my mind at the time. These things often do, and I’d be willing to bet you know that feeling. + +Perhaps so. Sneak up on her and nick the flag? Seize her by the throat perhaps ;) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-03-i-was-thinking-of-piranhas-when-i-wrote--shoals.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-03-i-was-thinking-of-piranhas-when-i-wrote--shoals.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..47203b1 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-03-i-was-thinking-of-piranhas-when-i-wrote--shoals.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I was thinking of piranhas when I wrote ‘shoals’." +date: 2018-01-03 +--- + + I was thinking of piranhas when I wrote ‘shoals’. Perhaps my ideas are smaller than yours - though no less deadly ;) As far as I know sharks are rather solitary creatures. + +It’s incredible the sort of thing that gets readership these days. Almost as if anyone with an internet connection can upload whatever they like… shocking! Er… wait a second..! :D + +I am pleased to have inspired you to post. I suppose you could say I sparked a shark in you!! :’) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-03-it-was-a-good-example--if-perhaps-a-bit-convoluted-and-expansive--hindsight-is-20-20-and-all-that.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-03-it-was-a-good-example--if-perhaps-a-bit-convoluted-and-expansive--hindsight-is-20-20-and-all-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3eedb2a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-03-it-was-a-good-example--if-perhaps-a-bit-convoluted-and-expansive--hindsight-is-20-20-and-all-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "It was a good example, if perhaps a bit convoluted and expansive. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that." +date: 2018-01-03 +--- + + It was a good example, if perhaps a bit convoluted and expansive. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that. + +I am ever careful, jaded even, in what I wish for. But in this case I wished for nothing. Pure coincidence (or only a matter of time?) we stumbled across each other in this little writers’ paradise called Medium. Or maybe it was a conspiracy between our muses…. wouldn’t put it past the little devils. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-04-frenetic-scribblings--34--magic-of-the-4am-silence.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-04-frenetic-scribblings--34--magic-of-the-4am-silence.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6b38a92 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-04-frenetic-scribblings--34--magic-of-the-4am-silence.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,30 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Frenetic Scribblings #34: Magic of the 4am silence" +date: 2018-01-04 +--- + + ![](/img/1*0DIDOD40N1VpYI2W7pF6Lw.jpeg)Photo by [Khachik Simonian](https://unsplash.com/photos/G22cAfM7-tE?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)4am is a magical time. Where the late-nighters have mostly drifted off to bed, and the early-risers haven’t well…risen. + +It’s simultaneously eerie and relaxing in a most odd sort of way. Hearing birdcalls echo across a graveyard silence in a usually hectic city center is an…experience. The occasional twitters should feel out of place in the concrete jungle, normally masked by human noise as they are. + +They do not. + +Sitting there, watching the sky gradually lighten and listening to the calls is magical because you feel isolated. Despite being surrounded by thousands of people, you feel isolated because you are the near enough the only one awake and around. + +A city at 4am feels like a graveyard. Except that -unlike a graveyard — its inhabitants are only *temporarily* at rest. + +Passing through the airport close to my home earlier that night…well, morning, had a totally different feel. Even at the oddest hours, the place is together alive and dead. Alive because it is filled with people. And yet dead because those people are mostly waiting. + +An airport at 4am feels like an indrawn breath. + +There’s a sense of anticipation as people wait to jet off across the globe, or wing there way home. That too is magical, in a totally different manner. + +What was I doing around town at 4am having worked a double shift that day? I went to the gym after work, at gone midnight. I parked my motorcycle in a multistory carpark, assuming that because it was not locked by midnight it wasn’t going to be. Wrong! Leaving the gym (past 2am) I found steel shutters between me and my bike. + +I took a bus to the airport intending to walk home from there…and on arrival realised I’d left my keys in the gym. By the time I’d bussed back, I decided to wait for the shutters to be opened. And so, I found myself in one of the oddest experiences of my life — a city normally so filled with life emptied. + +They were long hours, but I almost don’t regret them just because of the 4am insight. + + +> Thought for the day: The heavier the eyelids, the sincerer the words \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-04-not-necessarily--although-i-don-t-tend-to-do-it--consciously--for-the-purpose-of-seeing-how-much-i.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-04-not-necessarily--although-i-don-t-tend-to-do-it--consciously--for-the-purpose-of-seeing-how-much-i.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..df007c5 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-04-not-necessarily--although-i-don-t-tend-to-do-it--consciously--for-the-purpose-of-seeing-how-much-i.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,22 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Not necessarily, although I don’t tend to do it (consciously) for the purpose of seeing how much I…" +date: 2018-01-04 +--- + + +> although our M.O. might differNot necessarily, although I don’t tend to do it (consciously) for the purpose of seeing how much I can get away with ;) + + +> Meine Aufgabe hier ist fertiggemacht worden ; )Ja, es ist! My German is shamefully rusty, I really should brush up. + + +> trying to drop the gears … in bed … whilst asleep!That’s simultaneously impressive and terrifying. And of *course *you owned a motorcycle, as if the similarities weren’t already eerie enough. + + +> throw myself off a high building for the adrenaline rush …I’d probably love the kick when actually doing it, its going for it in the first place I struggle with. Not something I normally need worry about. + + +> Because, whether you’re real or a figment of my imagination is irrelevant if the punch in the mouth *felt* real and *really* hurt, isn’t it?Oh now that’s clever. I like that perspective! Good to know that I’m real ;) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-04-unfortunately--this-is-very-true.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-04-unfortunately--this-is-very-true.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2e04d2d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-04-unfortunately--this-is-very-true.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Unfortunately, this is very true." +date: 2018-01-04 +--- + + Unfortunately, this is very true. I add unfortunately because the *process of achieving* emotional stability is far easier said than done. + +Nothing worth doing comes easy, though. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-05-a-second-dawn--chasing-the-heels-of-the-first---a-new-format-for-my-work.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-05-a-second-dawn--chasing-the-heels-of-the-first---a-new-format-for-my-work.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..753f01d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-05-a-second-dawn--chasing-the-heels-of-the-first---a-new-format-for-my-work.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,19 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "A second dawn, chasing the heels of the first — a new format for my work" +date: 2018-01-05 +--- + + ![](/img/1*AC1VX5OAgOfcORVmAqp1SA.jpeg)Photo by [Sebastian Sammer](https://unsplash.com/photos/qCf__MhvyI0?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I’ve been dabbling in the idea of ditching the numbered titles for my daily writings. Instead simply consigning them — alongside anything else I happen to write that day — into a publication. + +One bearing the Frenetic Scribblings name, which I seem to be oddly attached to. + +By the fact you are reading this, you are already aware I decided to go through with it. It is probable…likely, even…that I might decide to revert to the old system in the future. + +The separated ‘Thought for the Day’ footer will be going away along with the title prefixes. The intent is to stop separating one particular story of the day from all the rest, freeing and indeed encouraging me to write more than one daily. It remains to be seen how well this is going to work. + +The actual content is not going to change. Expect continued philosophical musings, the (very) occasional poetic moment and even more occasional insights into my daily goings on. In short, business as usual. Just with a fancy new shopfront, so to speak. + +I’m excited for the control a ‘vanity publication’ affords me. Watch this space! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-05-damn-right.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-05-damn-right.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..950a689 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-05-damn-right.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,19 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Damn right." +date: 2018-01-05 +--- + + +> Don’t follow *my* example — *be* an example to *others!*Damn right. Though to be fair on a blog long ago, before Medium existed, I did try my hand at voicing intentionally incendiary things, so it would be more of a reawakening than a change. + + +> Go live in Germany for three to six years … you’ll be correcting native Germans’ poor grammar in no time ; )That’s the plan! Living in Europe, particularly a German speaking country, is a major life goal for me. It remains to be seen just how much of a spanner this sodding Brexit business is gonna throw in the works of that though. + + +> “You’re a maniac and you’re going to kill us both! … This is how I used to ride, isn’t it?”Pretty much this, though I’m not sure I can quite give it up. What’s that saying? Oh yes… ‘there are bold riders, and there are old riders. There are no bold old riders’. The trouble is overriding the impatience and the temptation…no, *need*…for speed is just so damn hard. Working on it…slowly… + + +> The thing to do is to put yourself into situations where there’s either literally no going backGood advice (although you knew that already ;) ) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-05-i-count-myself-fortunate-to-be-learning-about--co-dependency--this-early-in-life.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-05-i-count-myself-fortunate-to-be-learning-about--co-dependency--this-early-in-life.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bb51cf0 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-05-i-count-myself-fortunate-to-be-learning-about--co-dependency--this-early-in-life.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I count myself fortunate to be learning about ‘co-dependency’ this early in life." +date: 2018-01-05 +--- + + I count myself fortunate to be learning about ‘co-dependency’ this early in life. + +That said, there isn’t a great deal of writing on how to combat co-dependent tendencies one sees developing in oneself… + +Recognition is only half the battle. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-05-normal-is-boring.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-05-normal-is-boring.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..23d6384 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-05-normal-is-boring.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,47 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Normal is boring" +date: 2018-01-05 +--- + + ![](/img/1*xt1UxVsnL1PEWCBWo80TpQ.jpeg)Photo by [Hermes Rivera](https://unsplash.com/photos/OX_en7CXMj4?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Nobody is normal. + +At its heart the idea of normal is a farcical concept, but a thousand times more so when applied to people. Everyone is different, there is no ‘average person’. + +Even if one takes normal to mean ‘mentally stable’ it remains ridiculous. Nobody is 100% stable 100% of the time. In fact, it appears that people in general are less and less stable, more and more often (or maybe its just finally getting talked about more). Myself included. + +Either way, being 100% of anything — if that is normal — sounds a lot like perfection. And, + +**Perfection. Is. Boring.** + +Conflict. + +Pain. + +Mistakes. + +Resolution. + +Healing. + +Learning. + +*These *are the things that make life interesting. Perfect leaves no room for any of these, and more besides, and therefore, **perfect sucks**. + +People seem to insist that they desire to be normal. Desiring mental stability is fair enough. But I don’t think anyone wants to be average. And aren’t normal and average just two sides of the same coin? They’re really saying that they want to fit in. Because standing out from the crowd is inconvenient. It draws attention. + +But it’s also a hell of a lot of fun. + +Speak your mind, say your piece, regardless of how incendiary. + +Be abnormal. + +Be spontaneous. + +Be the spanner in the Order of Things. + +That’s life. That’s ***living***. + +Stay *away from *perfect*. *It’s a (flawless) trap. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-05-perhaps-probably-i-should.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-05-perhaps-probably-i-should.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6ee13f7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-05-perhaps-probably-i-should.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,19 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Perhaps…probably…I should." +date: 2018-01-05 +--- + + +> Oh, you most definitely *should!*Perhaps…probably…I should. + + +> Always good to have languages under your beltAye, agreed wholeheartedly. If only I didn’t suck so hard at learning them! I know a lot of German vocab, but the grammar still escapes me. + + +> .All the *best* people did/do in my experience : DAgain, agreed. We’re a unique lot. (Once a biker always a biker in my book) + + +> But past experience has taught me that pretty much all the things I was terrified of…Exactly. I just need to get a (lot) better at that initial trigger pull. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-05-still-there-in-the-sense-that-nothing-is-ever-deleted-from-the-internet.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-05-still-there-in-the-sense-that-nothing-is-ever-deleted-from-the-internet.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..96d9401 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-05-still-there-in-the-sense-that-nothing-is-ever-deleted-from-the-internet.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Still there in the sense that nothing is ever deleted from the Internet." +date: 2018-01-05 +--- + + +> That sounds interesting — is it still there?Still there in the sense that nothing is ever deleted from the Internet. I’ll be damned if I can remember what I called the thing! And its probably nowhere near as extreme as I remember. + + +> I may not be able to draw my state pension abroad any moreAye, who can say what the laws will look like soon. Other than a *bloody mess*. + +Aside — for some reason unbeknownst to me I’d assumed you were American. In hindsight the correct spelling of certain words should have been a dead giveaway! + + +> if anything even more recklessly than I rode my bike, now I think about it!I expect to be the same when I eventually resign myself to the fact cars are useful to have — I reckon its because of the sudden addition of all the secondary safety — you can take more risks and be in less danger compared to on a motorcycle. + + +> And eyeing the road for the *next* place you want to be.Well of course, you must always look to where you want to go ;) A useful philosophy when applied to life, I’ve found… + +And yes, now that mention it, it is rather like teleportation. + + +> And that’s leaving aside the urge to see how low to the ground you can bank it … how fast, how smoothly you can take that corner, fly around it … like you were on a race track.I’m learning on a cruiser style which takes the edge off this urge somewhat. But eyeing something more sporty for my upcoming upsize and anticipating that I’ll be a right demon on the thing. Until a NDE knocks some sense back into me…for a while. Sooner or later, the increased caution will last. Or I’ll get killed.. + + +> “but don’t try and keep up with him — you’re *not* him … *you’ll* die.”Maybe I’m not quite so charmed. But pushing myself to face my fears isn’t a bad thing. + +Besides, I’m still not entirely convinced I’m not a parallel version of *you *and therefore should have no problem keeping up. It remains to be seen. + +Definitely not the best way for everyone, but it may well be the best way for this wavelength ;) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-05-there-are-some--i-just-gotta-sit-down-and-dig-through-them-at-some-point.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-05-there-are-some--i-just-gotta-sit-down-and-dig-through-them-at-some-point.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..207bce7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-05-there-are-some--i-just-gotta-sit-down-and-dig-through-them-at-some-point.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,76 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "There are some, I just gotta sit down and dig through them at some point." +date: 2018-01-05 +--- + + +> the kernel of an ideaThere are some, I just gotta sit down and dig through them at some point. Got enough sitting in my draft queue as it is though! + +Yeah, remixing, that’s the stuff. After all, nothing’s original — everything is a remix whether consciously or otherwise. + + +> Well, that’s *it* now — now that you’ve said that, it’s *inevitably* gonna happen, *isn’t* it?Bugger. + + +> It’s disconcerting, I’ll give you that ; PIsn’t it just. Strangely comforting to know that I’m not alone in my particular madness, though. + + +> Yeah … my passengers didn’t so much thoughI can imagine not. All the fear, none of the fun of being the one with the pedal to the metal! + + +> I was his best option for a *blameless* dereliction of dutyAh. You know, right up until recently I would have automatically disagreed on the ‘dereliction of duty’ point. But being currently in the middle of trying to support a close friend who just lost her boyfriend of several years to debt/drug addiction suicide I’m less sure. Something about the idea of it being selfish still doesn’t quite sit right with me though. I can’t phrase it yet. + + +> I really was putting a lot of people’s lives at risk entirely unnecessarilyS’pose that’s the thing about a bike, you’re *mostly *only a danger to yourself. + + +> that protection won’t do you much good in a head-on collision with a Belgian 18-wheeler at 140mphWell no, but I’m not sure you’d be much better off anything short of a tank at that point! + + +> I take calculated risksDepends how you’re doing the calculations, I suppose! + +But in principle agreed, insane is too strong a word. + + +> Not needing to recover in the first place is, however, masterful — I salute you.Not so fast — while I recognise the problem and half of me recoils from it — the other half *really* wants a **much **bigger bike. + +I have a feeling I know which half will win. + + +> Also, it means I get to pretend that I’m in control and could give up any time I wanted to — so it’s alright … not a problem … leave me alone about it.I certainly won’t get on your back about it, since I have the exact same *not*-problem. + + +> Adrenaline Junkie’s versionKeep working on it, because I’d wear it like a badge of honour. A rather battered badge, likely with a couple bulletholes, but nevertheless… + + +> I did trust my pilot completely and felt that it was perfectly safe to dress that way as a result.There’s only *so *defensive it is possible to ride. Plus past a certain point defensiveness sucks all the fun out. But my point is your pilot ain’t the problem, its the *other *crazies on the roads that are the issue. + +Plus I *love *the look of leathers. Particularly with a pretty woman in them, but wearing them gets (trailing) second best. Need to get a jacket to match the rest of my gear, my current one is textile and while well armoured it just doesn’t have the appeal of leather. + + +> I corrected it from ‘fun’ to ‘exciting’ afterwards — the difference is subtle but significant.That does make a significance difference. Positive, vs adrenaline filled. Reluctantly, I concede that not *everything *needs to be risky/dangerous/stupid to be worth doing. + + +> You won’t listen anyway, but at least I feel like I did the right thing by saying it and can sleep easier for it : DWell I won’t listen *fully*, but it has been *heard*, and has reinforced an often silenced inner voice trying to temper my hunger for the next kick. + + +> Stunt-rider?Damnit why do I feel the desire to do that, I’m enough of a danger to myself with two wheels on the road. Let alone one or none! + + +> But overall, I suppose, no, I can’t complain of having been bored — I‘ve done some interesting stuff in interesting places with interesting people.I’m still on the fence as to if a negative experience is better than none at all. I’m leaning towards it being so, because even the worst experience provides a learning opportunity. + +I try to make ‘better to live with regret than regret not having lived’ my motto. Time’s so precious doing nothing-at-all just seems like a waste. + +But yes, perhaps there’s nothing wrong with toning down the risk just a bit. Of course, its one thing to talk about it, and one thing to actually try to wean yourself off it. + + +> I guess I’ll see what the second half brings soon enough : DI’d wish you good fortune, but you don’t appear to need it. I too am excited for where I might go next. + +I’d say it can’t get much worse than what I’ve already been through but I feel like I really would get the attention of Universe then. + +Wait…Oh. + +Oh. Bugger. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-05-well-i-did-some-digging--and-was-successful-albeit-thoroughly-disappointed.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-05-well-i-did-some-digging--and-was-successful-albeit-thoroughly-disappointed.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e54d5d3 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-05-well-i-did-some-digging--and-was-successful-albeit-thoroughly-disappointed.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,51 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Well I did some digging, and was successful albeit thoroughly disappointed." +date: 2018-01-05 +--- + + +> Well, I‘d be interested in seeing it, if you ever track it down.Well I did some digging, and was successful albeit thoroughly disappointed. Now I am reminded why I didn’t migrate a lot of my old stuff to Medium. It was before I’d found my writing voice properly. And there’s nothing particularly extreme here, then or now. Not worth a link, I don’t believe. Look forwards, not back! + + +> undeservedly fortuitous decisionFortunately, this seems unlikely. It really would be insult to injury. + + +> That’s odd … so did I.Same wavelength strikes again! + + +> Yes, I *know* this is the town high street, not the motorway!That’s equal parts impressive and manic — very much on brand. I like it. + + +> I just drove my car as though it *were* a bike nevertheless.Roughly two tons of car being driven like a bike. Hmm, yep, explains why people readily got out of your way! + + +> So … in my way, even more insanely suicidal than was on a bike!Jein — while it is harder to get *out *of trouble, there is a higher degree of protection when you are in it. + + +> But now that you put it that way, yes … that’s exactly what an approach to Life is, isn’t it?Exactly! It’s a chicken-and-egg question as to which way around it is — the interesting part is that bikers share something more than being more than a little insane and reckless. + + +> Oh, yes?Okay maybe not very much at all. My bike has a fairly low power-to-weight ratio (by bike standards…) and so I *physically can’t* be quite as reckless as I feel the desire to be. + + +> Yeah .. that’s the thing; you don’t *mean* to but you end up pushing things that little bit further each time because you *can*.Yep, exactly. Dangerous…and dangerously addictive. + + +> over at an angle of around seventy to seventy-five degrees or soIt is incredible just how far you can lean without toppling…provided you have the speed, of course! + +My pegs swing, fortunately. The first time I ever touched one down (before I consciously realised quite how far one could lean) was unforgettable, in a heart stopping sort of way. + + +> In my sleeveless, cotton T-shirt, cotton shorts and baseball boots … natch.Okay well in that respect I have my head screwed on slightly more firmly. ‘All the gear all the time’ is the philosophy instilled into me from CBT and it has stuck with me. Got me a full set of leathers and armour, proper boots and gauntlets too. Ain’t gonna help me much against a collision with anything beside the road, and I know it. But every little helps, so to say. + + +> your life may not be as much fun but it will almost certainly be longer.That’s just making bigger gaps between the fun, surely? So what’s the point ;) + + +> deciding to apply for an apprenticeship as a lion tamer.I am one for throwing myself in the deep end at times. But you are correct, there’s throwing yourself in the deep end and then there is throwing yourself into piranha (regular ones, not Idea ones) infested waters in a storm. Hmm…being a lion tamer sounds fun though… + + +> I really cannot explain why I’m not long since dead alreadyWarn me all you like — as is the sensible thing to do — but that just sounds like a life well lived to me. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-06-i-m-not-afraid-to--doorslam--people-where-necessary.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-06-i-m-not-afraid-to--doorslam--people-where-necessary.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..31375ba --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-06-i-m-not-afraid-to--doorslam--people-where-necessary.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,83 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I’m not afraid to ‘doorslam’ people where necessary." +date: 2018-01-06 +--- + + +> I’ve had to, albeit perhaps reluctantly, absent a few people from my life with a fair degree of prejudice as it wereI’m not afraid to ‘doorslam’ people where necessary. Though it is still treated as a nuclear option. Now if only I could force the impression of them *out of my head* with the same effectiveness. + + +> the core of my friends has been pretty soundThat’s exactly it. Some come and go but those that stick with you, hang on for the crazy ride, those are the true friends. + + +> what happens when I meet someone who says “HELL, yeah! Let’s do it YESTERDAY!”Okay I didn’t think of that. That could be dangerous. Could be the ride of a lifetime. Then again, may well be the ride to end it too! + + +> How do they *find* us?Maybe they are drawn to our wavelength, I dunno. Something something energy vampires something something… + + +> And why are we suckered in each time?Hell if I know. It all seems right at the time, and then looking back the red flags overshadow all else. + + +> a *little* different to the average, maybe … but that’s not necessarily a *bad* thing.As I scribbled the other day, sod average. + + +> It’s a matter of degree, you seeOh aye. Insanity is a sliding scale, and there is definitely a too far. But there’s also a ‘too boring’. + + +> but I *am* as sane as sane can *be* … *that* much I *know* to be the case.Well of course…to think otherwise would be *madness*. + + +> You can do your best but that’s all even *you* can ask of yourself.Yeah. Got to keep reminding myself of that. + + +> that post-coital, as it were, sensation of “Holy crap!”Well put. + + +> But the preceding “Whoa, shit!” moment isn’t as much fun, I have to say.No, decidedly not. + + +> Still … the latter is the price we pay for the formerPrecisely. If it wasn’t shit-scary it wouldn’t give kicks and therefore we wouldn’t bother with it. + + +> You know … I hadn’t thought of it that way — I was just behaving rationally : DFair enough. I like it phrased that way because it adds an element of ‘up yours’ aimed at the universe ;) + + +> But I did still take a *calculated* risk each timeInsomuch as calculations are *done,* the exact manner, weight and outcome of which are to remain unspecified ;D + + +> Dunno … quite like the idea of “Do you attend some kind of self-help group?” “Naaaaaah” ; )… + +Dude. I didn’t even spot that. + +Okay that’s way better than ‘M.A.D’. + + +> Albeit the act could be called ‘Dangerous To Know’This should be a thing. + + +> and that would, of necessity, be a *bad* thing and the kind of stupid thing I *don’t* do .. so, I dunno Damn. Can’t see a way out of that one. Unless of course one of the reasons that you are Mad is that you associate with Bad. + + +> It’s a reference to children with Special Educational NeedsOh so I *did *get it, I just didn’t realise I did. + + +> Yup … I was just lamenting the fact, not criticising : )Fair enough. Also damn you for calling it a ‘leather onsie’ because that can’t be un-thought. It’s put me right off racing style suits… + + +> think I’d go beserk if that were *all* there were to do though.You and me both. + + +> But only one that can end your life without killing you — be careful what you wish for ; )Gah, ain’t that the truth. + + +> more than a little inclined towards acts of excessive violence of the kind that give the word ‘atrocities’ (note the plural, for there will be *many*) a whole new meaning.Oh I have no doubt. Probably for the best if this is combated from happening in the foreseeable future. In the meantime, it should be known that we are ‘Dangerous to Know’ ;) + + +> if you *hadn’t* ruined my life, not only would I *not* be, I’d be a *happier* person now *to boot*, you cow!In that context, it makes perfect sense. But there’s still nothing either of us can do about it, — bar sudden and unexpected inspiration regarding how to put a reverse switch into the inexorable trickle of time — unfortunately. + + +> Indeed … but not [mind-numbingly, spirit-crushingly, soul-sappingly, mundane](https://medium.com/@WhereAngelsFearToTread/tour-de-force-b6340ce347ae) at least.At the very least we have that. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-06-that-s-perfect--d--d.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-06-that-s-perfect--d--d.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8ea908c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-06-that-s-perfect--d--d.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,52 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That’s perfect :D :D" +date: 2018-01-06 +--- + + +> …That’s perfect :D :D + + +> Exactly … and, in a way, I hope I never *do* meet my *Tank Girl* — not before I’m ready to finally risk it *all* and go out with a bang anyway : )Same here. I *have *to meet her, but Lord do I hope it isn’t for a long while to come. + + +> at the least sign … the *least* signI’m not this hasty. Though maybe I should say ‘I’m not this hasty…yet’. + + +> no second chancesMy rule of thumb is no third chances. The theory is everyone fucks up from time to time. But if they’re a bad egg they’ll soon enough have a second fuckup chasing the heels of the first and then I have no qualms doorslamming them as mentioned. Not *much *harm in allowing them a single shot at redemption. + + +> But then I realised that mad people didn’t/don’t do that.No, I suppose not. Similar to the Dunning-Kruger effect, almost. + + +> I *am* all but the only sane one on the face of the planetDoesn’t that by definition make you the insane one, and the rest of us sane? + + +> we’re doomed, I tell you!This, however, is definitely true. + + +> Does my subconscious do exactly *that* … seek out shit-scary stuff that I only rationalise away as ‘not *really* scary’?Maybe it does. Not that its going to stop now that you’ve realised. + + +> Or am I just genuinely an idiot and not as scared as I *ought* to be?Aren’t idiocy and bravery just one and the same seen in different lights? + + +> Yeah … gotta be done — dunno ‘bout you, but me, [I’m going out the way I came in … kicking and screaming.](https://medium.com/@WhereAngelsFearToTread/scream-36f52126d5cb)Hell yeah! Also..*ooooooh *that’s a lot of ‘bedtime’ reading for me to be doing. :D + + +> Yeah … that’s kinda played a part in my undoing too — I *will* insist on getting to know the wrong sort, if you get my drift.I get your drift exactly. Particularly in regards to the previously lamented psychic vampires. + + +> Sorry … you *know* I’m *right* though — it *is*.You *are*, and it *is*, and that’s exactly the problem! ;D + + +> I’m not sure whether to be impressed or mortified : SLittle bit of both, I think. + + +> Oh, look … a duck-billed platitude!Quack, quack…**BANG**…*cartoon puff of feathers* Sod that bloody phrase. Like you say, it reeks of Fate and Karma and all those things which are just names and faces for Life and its cruelty. + + +> Not if we were all like *me*, it wouldn’t, *no!*Well no, not from the perspective we have now. But if we were all like you and all always had been, then that would be normal & therefore perhaps boring. It is relative, after all… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-06-the-magic-of-medium.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-06-the-magic-of-medium.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4d64462 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-06-the-magic-of-medium.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "The magic of Medium" +date: 2018-01-06 +--- + + ![](/img/1*JKq41rznoJECiICjBSQNMA.jpeg)Photo by [Bhushan Sadani](https://unsplash.com/photos/M-xaOaCzy_M?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I joined Medium less than two short years ago. Initially I just began to migrate old content, then I jumped in fully. + +I haven’t been around that long, relatively speaking, but I do at least remember the days of green hearts. Things have changed since I joined. Not just hearts replaced with claps, but the introduction of the paywall system. No doubt a bunch of other stuff got tweaked and refined that I hardly even noticed. And that’s the crux of it. + +Medium is a **very** clever name. Because that’s exactly what this platform is. It is a platform — a *medium — *that enables writers to do what they do best…write. + +Medium has changed since I arrived here, but it has been a streamlining kind of change, rather than transformative. Because transformative change isn’t needed. Medium is smooth experience for both reader and writer. + +No bullshit. + +As writers, we are given a blank page. We are prompted ‘Tell your story…’ + +Medium makes it easy for us to do so. And easy for readers to find it when its done. It *gets *that readers are writers, and vica versa. Responses being treated like Stories is the foremost example of this. + +Medium is a tool, and rather a good one at that. + +Without Medium I’m not sure I would have aimed to write every day for a year straight. Without Medium, I probably wouldn’t be almost a month into that challenge. + +Without Medium, I’d have read less. And I’d have written a *lot* less. + +So I’m glad to have a medium called Medium. There’s magic in a blank page. The magic of potential. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-06-well-yeah--occasionally--the-right-person-gets-hit-by-the-right-inspiration-particle.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-06-well-yeah--occasionally--the-right-person-gets-hit-by-the-right-inspiration-particle.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3fc12c2 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-06-well-yeah--occasionally--the-right-person-gets-hit-by-the-right-inspiration-particle.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,76 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Well yeah, occasionally, the right person gets hit by the right inspiration particle." +date: 2018-01-06 +--- + + +> So, I think there are *occasionally* moments of inspiration that we have that are unique … that result in something genuinely new.Well yeah, *occasionally*, the right person gets hit by the right inspiration particle. So to say ‘nothing is original’ isn’t fair. One has to have something to remix in the first place, after all*. Almost* nothing is original, is better phrasing. + + +> some other poor sod who, one day, in the Future will be able to point at me and say “See … it’s not just me — I’m not the only one.”Well in that you have already met with success. + +Here’s to some more searching along this particular wavelength to see what and who we find…or maybe it’d be easier just to follow the screams. (of others — and occasionally ourselves — terrified at our adrenaline seeking antics) + + +> she moaned at me for breathing, never mind anything else I might do.Dear oh dear. Been there. Once had an Ex complain over insufficient number of heart emoji at the end of the Mandatory Goodnight Message. Fortunately, I escaped that one shortly after. + + +> Or else just insane — they were/are *my* friends after all ; )All the best people are more than a little mad in my experience. Though maybe I just like to say that because its something of an indirect compliment to myself. + + +> It’s a tricky oneVery much so. Trying to rescue the aformentioned friend from the crushing guilt that she feels is trickier still. I’ll be damned if I don’t manage it though. About time I did something *actually useful*. + + +> I’ve had my share of brown trousers moments, [*that’s* for sure!](https://medium.com/@WhereAngelsFearToTread/no-shit-c47ce5b8e0c)I’d say ‘so have I’, but then I risk attracting the attention of the Univ…**Dammit!** + +‘I haven’t….*yet*’ would be much more accurate anyways. + + +> I like to stack the odds in my favour, if at all possibleOh exactly. Life isn’t fair so why be fair back! + + +> how *much* of a rush will it be?So they are *technically* calculated, but the rush is almost certain to win. Naturally ;D + + +> We could form a *Not Addicts Anonymous* group for people who’ve got it under control!We could/should, though there’s gotta be some way to twist it so that the acronym is M.A.D. + + +> *Yellow Bus Crew* badgeThis reference went over my head I’m afraid. + + +> they don’t look as cool as the *fake* leathers that *won’t*All too true, unfortunately. But the companion to *‘all the gear all the time’* is *‘dress for the slide, not the ride’. *And I’d much rather cramp my style while on the bike for increased safety in case of sudden and catastrophic luck exhaustion. After all, I’d like to live to *do stupid shi…***ride** another day. + + +> there’s a time and place for calm … and it’s during the aftermath … after the main event ; DThis. Though I further concede there are some things worth doing that don’t carry danger of death — at least in the physical sense. Like writing. + +And (usually) sex. + + +> “I cannot believe I just *did* that — I must be *totally* insane!” ; DI refer you to the earlier point on insanity being if not *good*, at least* interesting.* + + +> perhaps the one that I didn’t most of all.Exactly. + + +> You’d be a different person … *and?*Yes! I’d be a totally different person if the past two years had gone down even slightly differently, but the hell do I care? The point is, I’m *not*, and* it didn’t*. For better or worse I am who I am and there’s no point wasting precious thinking time on what *might have been*. + + +> got up, gone to work, gone homeWhat a life we lead. Dangerous, often painful but at the end of the day, *never* mundane. As often seems to be the case, it is a blessing and a curse. + + +> Tone it down a *bit*, maybe.Maybe. + + +> Stop it altogether?Hell no! + + +> See you there then : DLikewise. + + +> why stop now, just when we’re hating it, eh?Aye…it could get worse, but it could also get better. May as well continue… + + +> Heh : D : D : D:D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-06-you-re-god-damn-right-she-was-right.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-06-you-re-god-damn-right-she-was-right.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3fd1231 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-06-you-re-god-damn-right-she-was-right.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "You’re god-damn right she was right." +date: 2018-01-06 +--- + + You’re god-damn right she was right. + +The woman that first broke my heart left me with one good thing. And that’s these words. + +“The best way out is always through. Angels got their halos walking through the fires of hell”. + +Kindle that tiny, white flame of hope. Burn fierce. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-07-cruel-machinations-spring-to-life--and-lessons-are-learnt.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-07-cruel-machinations-spring-to-life--and-lessons-are-learnt.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e726515 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-07-cruel-machinations-spring-to-life--and-lessons-are-learnt.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,37 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Cruel machinations spring to life, and lessons are learnt" +date: 2018-01-07 +--- + + ![](/img/1*B2eNaP0JffZJrf4Gi76oqA.jpeg)In the past week, I’ve been soundly reminded that the Universe is a cruel mistress. + +I’ve realised that some people I call/called friends perhaps aren’t as reliable as I first thought. Being ditched on NYE being the pinnacle example of this. + +I’ve lost a relationship in which I saw great potential. + +Further to that, the realisation I don’t have anyone to talk to. As in to *really talk to*[1] — have in depth conversations/philosophical musings with. Apart from [Where Angels Fear,](https://medium.com/u/6c8bcd0d1a65) [2] who might be surprised at how large a role he’s played in keeping me (in)sane recently. + +I just had to bump start my bike because the battery died. Let me tell you, pushing 150kgs of chrome and steel up and down a carpark is no fun![3] + +Sure, my life could be better. Way better. I’m craving physical contact in any form, and mentally drained. + +But even still, I can say with a straight face, ‘Life’s okay’. Maybe even ‘Life’s good’. Just as I’ve made many mistakes, and had many misfortunes over the past week, I’ve learnt many lessons. + +The opportunity to learn adds a positive twist to the darkest of days. + +I’ve learnt how to forgive, and also that I should be less forgiving. + +I’ve learnt to ‘trust but verify’. + +I’ve learnt that perhaps I need to reestablish old friendships, or seek completely new ones. + +I don’t write this seeking pity, empathy or any such thing. I write this as a reminder that **some lessons can only be learnt in a storm**. + +[1] God I **hate **small talk + +[2] He also gave me the idea for this footnote system, to which I am taking with gusto. Love me some brackets or hyphens, but sometimes footnotes are smoother. + +[3] It did start eventually, though, else I might not have been able to write this on time. As it is, its going to be close. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-07-that-s-what-makes-it-so-perfect----that--and-the-good-friends-most-likely-won-t-give-a-damn-and.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-07-that-s-what-makes-it-so-perfect----that--and-the-good-friends-most-likely-won-t-give-a-damn-and.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5e3dddd --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-07-that-s-what-makes-it-so-perfect----that--and-the-good-friends-most-likely-won-t-give-a-damn-and.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,36 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That’s what makes it so perfect ;) That, and the good friends most likely won’t give a damn and…" +date: 2018-01-07 +--- + + +> people aren’t sure if they’ve just been insulted or not ; )That’s what makes it so perfect ;) That, and the good friends most likely won’t give a damn and just laugh along with you. + + +> I wish I’d met her sooner … my life would’ve been radically differentAnd in all probability significantly shorter…! + + +> So, *don’t* allow it … and walk at the first sign of trouble — it *will* prove to be only the first of many, if you don’t.Very sage. I just…I already struggle to suppress the ‘what if…?’ questions that flood forth whenever I doorslam someone. Knowing they’ve had their chance or two makes it easier. + +But come to think of it, *almost *always anyone given one strike struck out shortly after. So maybe I’m just in denial of quite how right you are.. + + +> there’s no *way* we’re gonna fix *that* kind of mess, *is* there?When it rains in hell…getting into mess we’re good at. Getting out…hm. + + +> bravery is when you’re shitting yourself but do it anyway.Much of bravery does *necessitate *an element of stupidity in the sense of a level of disregard for your own safety, I’d say. But in hindsight to call it the same as idiocy was unfair. + + +> frankly a cigarette would’ve been more profound than any of it.I’ll be the judge of that! Whenever I get around to reading it… + + +> but *who* wants to spend their life straight/sober all the time?I dunno, I’m giving the sober thing a shot — drunk on Life is good enough for me — and it isn’t going badly. Yet… + + +> if there’s [this universal vengeance service](https://medium.com/@WhereAngelsFearToTread/karmic-absolution-7fcc41fd45c2) that goes by the name of ‘Karma’If only there *were*… + + +> Maybe … but, on the other hand, there’d be a *lot* of partying — so would we *care*? ; DHell no! :D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-08-and-more-to-the-point--what-that-says-about-us--d.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-08-and-more-to-the-point--what-that-says-about-us--d.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..786f26c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-08-and-more-to-the-point--what-that-says-about-us--d.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,32 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "And more to the point, what that says about us ;D" +date: 2018-01-08 +--- + + +> Although … what that says about my friends …And more to the point, what that says about *us *;D + + +> So, even if it had been shorter, I reckon it’d’ve been a HELL of a lot more fun — it’d *have* to have been, given how much fun it’s *already* been!That’s fair. Short but explosive, as it were. Still, I dunno about you but I’d prefer to save the ‘going out with a bang’ part as long as possible…so’s I can have more adrenaline filled brushes with it in the meantime! + + +> And if you’re *making* excuses the there’s something that *needs* excusing, isn’t there?Oh now* that’s *made me think. Might be a cause for an edit to my life code…but I’m not quite decided *yet.* + + +> I’ll get back to you on that one.I await your verdict with interest. + + +> less emotionally stressed these days (what with being single and all)Quite so… + +Plenty of women would do well to read Kris Gage’s thoughts on emotional responsibility I think. Actually, to be entirely fair, its not something I’ve figured out myself yet, so expecting it from others would not be reasonable. + + +> that’s the way it is for the time being and I’m straight/sober.That’s pretty much the same reason I’m giving it a shot. I stopped having a pint or four after work when I started commuting on my motorcycle, and realised I didn’t really miss it. So I figured why not cut it out entirely… + + +> there’s *no* Karma … but there is *me* ;DExactly. And by the end of it, they’ll be wishing they’d been subjected to Karma instead! + +… + +![](/img/1*agytbLT-T5nb2jBiXLaEEw.jpeg) \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-08-how-not-to-achieve--flow.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-08-how-not-to-achieve--flow.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..989692f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-08-how-not-to-achieve--flow.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,39 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "How not to achieve ‘flow’" +date: 2018-01-08 +--- + + ![](/img/1*-F0evvZudQwAMDUb9ygC8Q.jpeg)Multitasking is overrated. + + +> “The word priority… was singular…the very first or prior thing…. Only in the 1900s did we pluralize the term… Illogically, we reasoned that by changing the word we could bend reality. Somehow we would now be able to have multiple “first” things.” — McKeown, EssentialismEither: do several things simultaneously to an average standard, or do a single thing with excellence. + +I’d choose excellence every time. [1] + +The thing is — that choice **is **yours to make. + +Say no to opportunities that are anything less than ‘exciting’. Have a single priority at a time — in fact, erase the idea of ‘priorities’. One thing at a time, all the time. + +Stop pretending to yourself that you can focus on multiple things. Focus on one thing, and throw yourself into it. To do otherwise is doing yourself and your creativity a disservice. + +In doing so, you will improve your access to the mysterious, magical flow. Lots is written about ‘flow state’. I won’t claim to understand how to achieve flow, or even what it is and how it works. Because **I don’t know.[2]** + +I may not understand it, but I have been *in flow*. Duly, I *do *know* *how* not to* achieve flow. And that’s multitasking. Flow necessitates unwavering focus. Alongside a hefty splash of passion and a bunch of other things I don’t quite understand. But mostly laser focus. + +Sure, you can produce average work though multitasking, and good work through plain old focus. + +But in my experience the best work is produced in flow state.[3] Some might call it inspiration from their Muse. As far as I’m concerned, it’s damn near magic. + + +> Illogically, we reasoned that by changing the word we could bend reality.Eliminate distraction. Eliminate things that are ‘good enough’. Find focus and you will find the magic of flow. + +Eliminate that which doesn’t light you on fire and you will never burn out. + +[1] In practice it never quite works out that way, but I do always aim for focus. + +[2] Not something I admit to readily, but to pretend otherwise would be dishonest. + +[3] ‘Rivers flow, writing doesn’t’ was drilled into me during English. Maybe you heard it too. In any case, maybe writing doesn’t ‘flow’. But *writers do*. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-08-i-think-the-length-of-our-response-chain-and-no-doubt-the-length-of-this-auxiliary-one-once-it-gets.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-08-i-think-the-length-of-our-response-chain-and-no-doubt-the-length-of-this-auxiliary-one-once-it-gets.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..95a2881 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-08-i-think-the-length-of-our-response-chain-and-no-doubt-the-length-of-this-auxiliary-one-once-it-gets.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,32 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I think the length of our response chain…and no doubt the length of this auxiliary one once it gets…" +date: 2018-01-08 +--- + + +> Now, look here … you can’t blame *me* ; PI think the length of our response chain…and no doubt the length of this auxiliary one once it gets going…added to our wanton abuse of the Private Notes system means you have to shoulder at least some of the blame ;P + + +> Oh, God … I just re-lived a few moments of my life there : (The feeling of accomplishment when it started just as I was about to give up was like wind beneath the wings though. O’ course, I’d still rather it have started with the bloody key ;D + +Aside — it just tried to kill me again. Sudden loss of traction on the rear wheel.[1] Fortunately I was going fairly slowly in a straight line at the time…! + + +> Unfortunately, yes — the Universe can be, as you say, a cruel Mistress at times.Pain is an exceedingly good teacher. Mostly lessons of the “for God’s sakes don’t do *that *again” variety, but nevertheless. + + +> so, on balance, I reckon I came up smiling really : )I reckon so. I just don’t see the point in it…I’ve started giving straight answers to ‘how are you’ partially just to throw people off.[4] + + +> They can also be [hideously addictive](https://medium.com/@WhereAngelsFearToTread/one-of-these-days-1-df3cf14ebe64) — don’t let them take over your life!…too late :D + +[1] To be entirely fair to the bike, there was a *lot of grit and crap *built up on the road….[2] + +[2] I knew that and was going slow so it still shouldn’t have tried to throw me though…[3] + +[3] Damn thing’s probably trying to get its own back for letting it get so filthy recently…but no sooner do I have it polished up is it covered in mud again >\_< + +[4] If it stops them asking in the future, all the better as far as I’m concerned! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-08-short-and-no--not-sweet--perfect--reminds-me-of-a-wonderful-song-lyrics.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-08-short-and-no--not-sweet--perfect--reminds-me-of-a-wonderful-song-lyrics.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0e72ab3 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-08-short-and-no--not-sweet--perfect--reminds-me-of-a-wonderful-song-lyrics.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,16 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Short and no, not sweet… perfect. Reminds me of a wonderful song lyrics:" +date: 2018-01-08 +--- + + Short and no, not sweet… perfect. Reminds me of a wonderful song lyrics: + + +> The rest of the world was black and white +> But we were in screaming colour +> — Out of the Woods / Relic Hearts[1][1] I am aware[2] that Taylor Swift, not Relic Hearts wrote this song originally but the Relic Hearts one is the first and favourite version I heard. + +[2] Well I am *now *after searching for the exact lyric… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-09-bikers--club-of--philosophy.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-09-bikers--club-of--philosophy.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bba73f8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-09-bikers--club-of--philosophy.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Bikers’ club of… Philosophy?" +date: 2018-01-09 +--- + + ![](/img/1*MI8ENd2Mt2bRNuypxr0OxA.jpeg)Its seems to me that bikers share more than just fun, speed and recklessness. + +That is to say, to ride a motorcycle is one thing, to *be a biker *is quite another. + +Biking is more than just a mode of transport in ways I haven’t yet quite put my finger on. It’s a way of life to a degree. + +Whether or not a particular life outlook gives you a desire to ride, or whether it is more that being a rider leads to a changed life outlook is nuts and bolts. Either way, there’s *something…* + +Maybe it’s related to the constant and consistent reminders of your own mortality. It certainly helps me to take chances *off* the bike that I might not otherwise. Keeps me grounded and living in the moment, as it were. + +Maybe it’s something about the way that throwing a bike through twisting corners sets soul and mind on fire all at once. + +Actually, yes. Perhaps that’s it. Riding a bike makes the rider come alive in a way that’s difficult to match. It requires focus and a lot of confidence. + +Taking a quick and smooth line through a corner, though, is a feeling of elation unlike no other. + +So… there’s something about biking. Something about biking that changes riders. + +Riders are an exclusive club, and not just because of how we get around. We share a particular view of life that unites us, on and off the road. + +No doubt this idea will reappear in the future as I give it more thought. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-10-apparently--the-thing-about-road-vs-track-riding-is-that-you-rarely-push-the-bike-or-yourself-to.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-10-apparently--the-thing-about-road-vs-track-riding-is-that-you-rarely-push-the-bike-or-yourself-to.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..032dafc --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-10-apparently--the-thing-about-road-vs-track-riding-is-that-you-rarely-push-the-bike-or-yourself-to.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,31 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Apparently, the thing about road vs track riding is that you rarely push the bike or yourself to…" +date: 2018-01-10 +--- + + Apparently, the thing about road vs track riding is that you rarely push the bike or yourself to the limit on the road. I’ve not ridden track yet but nevertheless… + +Bullshit. + +Corners don’t suddenly tighten on you on a track. + +Trucks don’t fly wide around the corner the opposite way on a track. + +Manhole covers[1] don’t suddenly jump up and bite you on a track. + +Track riding is clean. Pure speed and smooth riding. Pushing the bike and yourself to the limit of how far you can lean in good conditions. Just how fast it is *possible *to go*.* + +By contrast, street riding is filthy. Pushing the limit, toeing the line of just how fast you can go *despite *the conditions. Down in the dirt, taking risks…just how we like it ;) + +Either way, cranked hard over is perhaps the pinnacle of biking. + +The world snaps into focus. + +Because it needs to. Hit the kerb in a car? Meh. Hit the kerb on a bike, much more so while cranked so hard over you’re basically sliding at it sideways? + +That’s gonna *hurt*. + +[1] Or white paint, or diesel… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-10-certainly-not-opposites-attract-and-that.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-10-certainly-not-opposites-attract-and-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9a0b225 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-10-certainly-not-opposites-attract-and-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,40 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Certainly not…opposites attract and that!" +date: 2018-01-10 +--- + + +> Well, it shows that we’re either extremely open-minded and unprejudiced … or horrifically naive — and not weirdo magnets … not at allCertainly not…opposites attract and that! + + +> And you should be *wary* of lights anyway — I’ll give you evens on the light at the end of the tunnel being an oncoming train.I’ll take that. Either I win or I get hit by a train so I wouldn’t be around… + +That’s using yer noggin, see! (Course, not being in with the chance of a terminal disagreement with a train would be *really *using yer noggin :D) + + +> but I’d probably have ended up being less of an arsehole *myself* too!Hence me being glad to be learning it all quite as early as I am. Even if it does make me frustrated in that I’m aware of problems without solutions in sight. + + +> I doubt it’s unique to women though — I gather there are many fucked-up/sociopathic men in the world too.Oh aye I didn’t mean to imply otherwise, I just though the focus on women was appropriate contextually. + + +> the curse of monogamous HeterosexualityAs in many things, a blessing and a curse.. + + +> Moreover, I can’t cope with the “I love you. Go away. Come here. I hate you. Oranges!”OH, you and me *both*! + + +> Added to which …Painfully humorous that. And highlights perfectly one of the major sources of friction between men and women…we *think* differently. The way men and women see the world differs fundamentally, and part of this is in the approach to problems. Men need solutions, women need to be heard…. + +Hmm, I think you’ve just inspired todays Piece.[1] + + +> I’m not prepared to be *that* drastic about it — I’m just not panic stricken by a ‘dry patch’ any more and can easily go without, don’t need to seek it out.See this is one area where I see a problem and have a solution. I don’t have a healthy relationship with alcohol, so I’ll cut it out. I don’t intend it to be forever, just until I can assure myself I won’t wander to the edge of addiction again. + + +> I do have a … let’s say ‘creative’ … turn of mind, yes ; )Much more so than Karma ;D + +[1] Nevermind me being your Muse incognito, I think *you* might be *mine*! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-10-chatting-to-fellow-bikers-in-the-pub-yesterday--they-mentioned-a-ride-being-planned-from-here--just.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-10-chatting-to-fellow-bikers-in-the-pub-yesterday--they-mentioned-a-ride-being-planned-from-here--just.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..49fd5d1 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-10-chatting-to-fellow-bikers-in-the-pub-yesterday--they-mentioned-a-ride-being-planned-from-here--just.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,14 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Chatting to fellow bikers in the pub yesterday, they mentioned a ride being planned from here (just…" +date: 2018-01-10 +--- + + Chatting to fellow bikers in the pub yesterday, they mentioned a ride being planned from here (just north of London) up to Scotland. That’s 350 miles or so as the crow flies…. + +They’re doing 100 miles on the motorway, and the rest on twisties. It sounds epic. Insane fun, in both senses, as it were :D + + +> thinking “my *bike!*”My exact thoughts when I went over the second time were, ‘Oh not *again’ *followed by ‘this is going to be ***expensive’.*** + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-10-i-concede-the-only-reason-i-thought-of-that-was-the-number-of-times-i-ve-heard-the-coughing-that.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-10-i-concede-the-only-reason-i-thought-of-that-was-the-number-of-times-i-ve-heard-the-coughing-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c3f0d63 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-10-i-concede-the-only-reason-i-thought-of-that-was-the-number-of-times-i-ve-heard-the-coughing-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,16 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I concede the only reason I thought of that was the number of times I’ve heard the coughing that…" +date: 2018-01-10 +--- + + +> Yes, you cheeky sod! ; PI concede the only reason I thought of that was the number of times I’ve heard the coughing that signals an urgent need to open the reserve tank. To be entirely fair, I don’t have an actual fuel gauge & so use the odometer instead… + + +> I might yet *not* have to push the bastard nine miles after allHaving pushed my particular bastard several times already, often but not always due to the aforementioned petrol woes, nine miles with a bike no doubt far heavier than mind sounds like a saga in the worst way. + + +> leaving the bike lurching off onto the pavementOh…I had in mind you smashed yer knee getting on the bike or whatever…not while in motion. In that case more life threatening than I thought! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-10-i-suppose-its-an-evergreen-variety-of-sod-s-law-that-mechanical-failure-nearly-always-occurs-at-the.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-10-i-suppose-its-an-evergreen-variety-of-sod-s-law-that-mechanical-failure-nearly-always-occurs-at-the.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..47afa7e --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-10-i-suppose-its-an-evergreen-variety-of-sod-s-law-that-mechanical-failure-nearly-always-occurs-at-the.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,12 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I suppose its an evergreen variety of Sod’s Law that mechanical failure nearly always occurs at the…" +date: 2018-01-10 +--- + + I suppose its an evergreen variety of Sod’s Law that mechanical failure nearly always occurs at the worst possible time. Or something like that. I think Sod’s Law is just a window onto the fact Life’s a Bastard, really… + + +> Still … at least, when it was over, I got to roll it down the hill to the nearest service station rather than have to push it uphill, eh?Small mercies… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-10-i-was-more-thinking--overcoming-adversity-through-persistence--and-all-that-bollox-but-pretty-much.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-10-i-was-more-thinking--overcoming-adversity-through-persistence--and-all-that-bollox-but-pretty-much.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..38bca5d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-10-i-was-more-thinking--overcoming-adversity-through-persistence--and-all-that-bollox-but-pretty-much.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,30 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I was more thinking ‘overcoming adversity through persistence’ and all that bollox…but…Pretty much…" +date: 2018-01-10 +--- + + +> Yes … it’s like banging your head on the wall — lovely when you stop.I was more thinking ‘overcoming adversity through persistence’ and all that bollox…but…Pretty much that, yes. + + +> Well, third it actually: I had to burn myself *three* times as a kid — I assume it was because I’m of a scientific bent and needed to properly test the theory before I was happy that it was a rule and not a coincidence …Reminds me of the time I put my hand flat on an induction cooktop to see if it was still hot. It was… + +Wasn’t the first dumb injury, and it won’t be the last. + +Yeah, lets say it was because we needed repeat experiments ;D + + +> But these days, mostly, I find it less time-wasting to brush them off with “Great, thanks. You?”That’s true, to be fair. + + +> I had mine suddenly start/stopping on me onceYou *did *remember to fuel up, right? ;P + + +> like there was a huge weight attached to the back on a chain\Oh that does not sound fun :o + +*Did manage to smash my knee into it in passing though, the bastard!* + +Neither does that, though less life threatening :P + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-10-if-i-had-a-choice-in-the-matter-i-d-go-over-to-the-right--yes.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-10-if-i-had-a-choice-in-the-matter-i-d-go-over-to-the-right--yes.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2f4d4e5 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-10-if-i-had-a-choice-in-the-matter-i-d-go-over-to-the-right--yes.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "If I had a choice in the matter I’d go over to the right, yes." +date: 2018-01-10 +--- + + If I had a choice in the matter I’d go over to the right, yes. For all the reasons you said. But I haven’t had a chance to have a choice yet…I’ve always gone over while already cranked over, it just so happens to have been on the right each time… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-10-putting-it-down-just-seems-wrong-to-me---you-lose-near-enough-all-control-at-that-point-anyway.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-10-putting-it-down-just-seems-wrong-to-me---you-lose-near-enough-all-control-at-that-point-anyway.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8a0d66e --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-10-putting-it-down-just-seems-wrong-to-me---you-lose-near-enough-all-control-at-that-point-anyway.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Putting it down just seems wrong to me — you lose near enough all control at that point anyway —…" +date: 2018-01-10 +--- + + Putting it down just seems wrong to me — you lose near enough all control at that point anyway — better to try and stay shiny side up as long as possible, I reckon. + +But either way, once you get to that point yer pretty well buggered anyway and laying it down deliberately or not just seems like splitting hairs. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-10-that-makes-a-lot-more-sense--well-put--as-always.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-10-that-makes-a-lot-more-sense--well-put--as-always.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..623559b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-10-that-makes-a-lot-more-sense--well-put--as-always.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That makes a lot more sense. Well put (as always)" +date: 2018-01-10 +--- + + That makes a lot more sense. Well put (as always) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-10-the-backhanded-blessing-of-bearing-an-unusual-name.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-10-the-backhanded-blessing-of-bearing-an-unusual-name.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6a7b8e5 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-10-the-backhanded-blessing-of-bearing-an-unusual-name.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "The backhanded blessing of bearing an unusual name" +date: 2018-01-10 +--- + + ![](/img/1*snGs29yDMbTNV02iG3i9Eg.jpeg)Photo by [Pineapple Supply Co.](https://unsplash.com/photos/6y3rpppgtdI?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)So many times have I been asked ‘how do you spell that?’ I reflexively suffix ‘My name is Arona’ with ‘spelt A..R…’. + +Having an unusual name is both a blessing and a curse. It singles you out from the crowd. + +To be singled out from the crowd is itself a double edged sword. Throughout my school years I was subject to torment with rhyming nicknames. Each group seemed to delight in discovering a particular schoolyard slang that rhymes nicely with Arona. Each thinking they were the first, and each wrong. + +The ‘rhyming thing’ still follows me, though these days it is rhymed with more adult things. Like Corona (with lime please!). Sometimes I wish I could change it — and I suppose I could now, if I wanted to. But I don’t wish to anymore. + +I’ve come to love the uniqueness it lends, to wear it with pride. My name is my brand, one of the few constants in a life of flux as I persist in trying to figure out *what* and *who* I am. + +It is a conversation starter, one that makes it difficult to hide. Searching my name on the Internet is incredibly effective — SEO? Never needed it! A blessing when I myself am trying to be heard. A curse if — as I often do — I’d prefer to go unseen, to slip into the crowd. A blessing and a curse. + +The story of of my name is by now well worn. I understand people’s curiosity, but it doesn’t make it any less…well…boring…to retread why I — a young white Briton — bear a name in the ancient Maori tongue. + +It’s also not a story I’ll tell now. Partly because I don’t care for telling it, but mostly because *my *name isn’t the point. + +Second only to appearance, a name is the foremost that you learn about a person. + +It is a part of who we are, and yet we did not choose it. + +We may be able to change ‘what we would like to be called’, but we cannot change *what others call us*. + +There are names in the sense of names that we possess, that are ours and used to identify us to others. And then there are names that others use to identify us. These are not always the same. + +If words are weapons — and they must be, if the pen truly is mightier than the sword — names are thermonuclear warheads. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-10-this-was-exactly-what-i-thought-when-reading-about--5-7am.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-10-this-was-exactly-what-i-thought-when-reading-about--5-7am.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1a30ea1 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-10-this-was-exactly-what-i-thought-when-reading-about--5-7am.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "This was exactly what I thought when reading about ‘5–7am’!" +date: 2018-01-10 +--- + + This was exactly what I thought when reading about ‘5–7am’! Fact is, I barely function before about 9am, regardless of if I’ve slept 12 hours or 2. I’ve come to accept that I’m wired to be a night owl. + +Like today. I woke up at 10am — it’s my first day off work in a while so no guilt there. But it took until about 5pm for my brain to begin to kick out of neutral. Partly because I’m dog tired, but mostly because I’m just *not a morning person*. My best work is done in the late evening.. and that’s **okay**. + +As Benjamin says, you have 24 hours in the day. And as you say — who gives a damn which of those 24 you use! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-10-when-spring-hits--i-believe--you-never-know.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-10-when-spring-hits--i-believe--you-never-know.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b9e091e --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-10-when-spring-hits--i-believe--you-never-know.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "When spring hits, I believe. You never know…" +date: 2018-01-10 +--- + + +> Not at this time of the year, I hope!When spring hits, I believe. You never know… + + +> Ker*chinginginginging!*Fortunately my highway bars took the brunt. They’re well and truely wrecked though! My poor right indicator though, has been replaced several times already. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-11-exactly-that.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-11-exactly-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..dd32069 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-11-exactly-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Exactly that." +date: 2018-01-11 +--- + + +> But, yes, I’ve also been equally surprised by some of the things I’ve done without knowing *how* because there really was *no* time to think about itExactly that. We know what to do, but don’t know that we do, because its a level deeper. Incredible the processing capacity we have when we *really* need it! Riding is a bespoke blend of instincts and experience. The more experience added to the mix, the better, but of course that takes time… + + +> But thinking when you’re riding is a good thing, if you ask me.Absolutely. In some scenarios, the one I mentioned being the utmost, logic and knowledge has to fight to override instinct. But again, only experience lets it win. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-11-fair-enough.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-11-fair-enough.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..113345a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-11-fair-enough.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Fair enough." +date: 2018-01-11 +--- + + Fair enough. I have had moments of recovery too…but logic never seems to play a part. Everything instinctual on the bike, which for the most part is well and good. When it comes to overriding instinct — like **do not **close the throttle in a corner — I am less prepared. I suppose that comes with experience, though. + +… + +As for slow motion…I’ve never experienced that either. Prediction…yes…I often say being prepared is almost as good as seeing the future ;) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-11-i-am-not-a-morning-person-and-that-s-ok.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-11-i-am-not-a-morning-person-and-that-s-ok.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1ac5502 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-11-i-am-not-a-morning-person-and-that-s-ok.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,43 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I am not a morning person…and that’s OK" +date: 2018-01-11 +--- + + ![](/img/1*BQafmY_l1bGn9B8pzaL5kA.jpeg)Photo by [Tony Detroit](https://unsplash.com/photos/sZtmk410A1I?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/moon?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Society is built for morning people. A lot of people swear by the first few hours of their day as their most productive. Many writers, including lots here on Medium, advocate an early rise. + +But I say to hell with that. + +I am not a morning person and that’s okay. My best work is done not at the break of day, but as it draws to a close. The only hours of the morning I’m truly interested in — truly productive in — are those shortly after midnight. + +Sod 5am-7-am. 11pm-1am. Those are my hours. + +And that’s ok. As darkness falls, society slumbers…and the night comes alive. + +The silence of the night, the stillness of the air is my Muse. While the world rests, I write. That is the way it is, and it is the way I like it to be. + +Society makes it difficult, because as I say it is geared to morning people. Or at the very least, the overwhelming majority that don’t gravitate towards being nocturnal. + +Not everyone is a night owl, but that’s more than okay. Because it’d be no good if the world were just as alive at night as during the day. That’d steal the magic of the starlight. There is a stillness that accompanies the darkness, in which peace and power are found. + +Midnight workouts[1]. Midnight scribblings. Midnight living. + +That’s me. If it isn’t you, ***that’s okay too***. + +Fellow night owls, I salute you in solidarity. We work in the darkness and that’s okay. + +Morning people, you do you. You work while we slumber and that’s okay. + +The counting of the hours is a human construct. Night and day are more tangible, but still ultimately constructs. Where possible[1], work when it suits you, sleep when it suits you. Do what you do whenever it is best to do it and as such maximise your time, for it is severely limited. + +At the *end of the day* — who gives a damn what hours of the day you use? Find your most productive time and unleash yourself in it. Regardless of it being societally acceptable. + +Seize the day [3]— it doesn’t matter in which hours. + +[1] 24/7 gym access is made for people like me… + +[2] By nature of the fact night owls and morning people cannot be always segregated, sometimes one or the other will have to adjust their schedule. Compromise, as in all things, is a key skill. + +[3] By the throat! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-11-i-ve-never-quite-had-the-opportunity-to-think-about-things-until-the-bike-is-already-over.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-11-i-ve-never-quite-had-the-opportunity-to-think-about-things-until-the-bike-is-already-over.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4c8ad10 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-11-i-ve-never-quite-had-the-opportunity-to-think-about-things-until-the-bike-is-already-over.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I’ve never quite had the opportunity to think about things until the bike is already over…" +date: 2018-01-11 +--- + + I’ve never quite had the opportunity to think about things until the bike is already over… + +More so I think that it hadn’t clicked — its logical and obvious now that you put it like that. I knew it, but didn’t know I knew it, as it were. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-12-forging-a-path-into-the-web-of-unknown.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-12-forging-a-path-into-the-web-of-unknown.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..32b2874 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-12-forging-a-path-into-the-web-of-unknown.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,57 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Forging a path into the web of unknown" +date: 2018-01-12 +--- + + ![](/img/1*O61o9mJWmPm4pxRint1HTw.jpeg)Photo by [Benjamin Blättler](https://unsplash.com/photos/J40eheaQ_OE?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/path-night?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I stand, hesitant + +Before me, the path splits + +Splits and splits again, dividing a myriad times + +The tangled web of choice pulsates gently + +A dull glow, alive and breathing + +I glance back, a moment + +See the path behind me + +Threaded in shining silver + +A halo of darkened paths around it + +Shriveled tendrils of choices not taken + +I tear myself away, return to looking forward + +Out over the future in all its perfect, fearful uncertainty + +Then, a choice is made, my mind and heart unite — and ignite. + +I step + +I step through + +I choose no beaten path before me + +**I choose no choice** + +**But my own** + +**I choose no path** + +**But my own** + +Thread winds out beneath me as I step again and again + +Glittering gold, not beaten silver + +I choose my own way + +Through + +There is no other + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-12-i-don-t-want.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-12-i-don-t-want.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0578662 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-12-i-don-t-want.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I don’t want" +date: 2018-01-12 +--- + + ![](/img/1*N13z5Vqm2XMvvaHzhwIfpw.jpeg)Photo by [Tony Webster](https://unsplash.com/photos/F9o7u-CnDJk?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/past?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)**I don’t want the future**, bright** but** so uncertain + +**If** only it weren’t so, but it is. + +**I** want the warmth of the past + +Time I **spend** is gone, forever + +If only there were **any** way to wind back the clock + +Bright memory fades as time grows **longer** + +**Looking** for you, always + +Looking **back**, always + +**My** heart yearns + +My **neck** twisted to face you + +My **will** not enough + +Past torn away, present **snap**s back + +*Now read only the bold.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-12-writing-this-in-second-person-made-it-hugely-powerful.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-12-writing-this-in-second-person-made-it-hugely-powerful.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2b70010 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-12-writing-this-in-second-person-made-it-hugely-powerful.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Writing this in second person made it hugely powerful." +date: 2018-01-12 +--- + + Writing this in second person made it hugely powerful. It reached out to me and didn't just draw me in but grabbed fiercely. Partly because I can already relate — but mostly a testament to the writing. + +Heartbreaking in the best way, if there is such a thing. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-13-i-don-t-know-how-to-write.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-13-i-don-t-know-how-to-write.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a9d5ca8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-13-i-don-t-know-how-to-write.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I don’t know how to write" +date: 2018-01-13 +--- + + ![](/img/1*oZDxPDh3u6b9i2r6dIRUhg.jpeg)Photo by [Alex Iby](https://unsplash.com/photos/aU1cBKa3mJU?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/mask?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)That I honestly don’t know is something I always kept close to my chest. But no more. + +Because…I write. I write and write. I just *do* it. Only occasionally do I pause to search for the right word. Only some of my pieces are edited for more than a basic spelling and grammar check. + +Not all is calm sailing on a river of flow, mind. Poetry, for example, takes me far longer to write. Because I must wait for the right words to arrive, and for the right order to arrive too. + +Even still, little conscious thought is involved…my muse doesn’t even have the decency to whisper to my inner ear. She just grabs control of my fingers and writes away. Writing seems to come second only to breathing, for me. + +If that sounds a lot like magic…that’s because it *feels* a lot like magic too. + +I’d urge you not to envy me, though. Yes, the writing flows. Flows easily, most days. And in that I am massively blessed and freely admit that. + +*But, *I don’t know what makes me tick. I don’t know *how I flow. *Not the first clue. I know I have a wide vocabulary from reading voraciously. That makes sense. I don’t know, though, how that translates to sentences that string themselves together seemingly without my help. + +That’s more than a little terrifying. + +Because what if…oh what *if*…the words disappear? What if I suddenly lose my flow? Without it, I’d be helpless. And I wouldn’t know how to get it back. + +I’d no longer be *a* writer. I’d no longer be *the* Frenetic Scribbler*.* + +Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. I hope they don’t. I need my words. Losing them would be like having my throat torn out. That makes me fearful. + +But for now, I write. And write. Fingers flying, brain dragged along for the ride. Through me, the Muse sings. + +Perhaps one day I’ll even understand how it happens. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-14--pokes-experimentally.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-14--pokes-experimentally.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..10890f8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-14--pokes-experimentally.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "*pokes experimentally*" +date: 2018-01-14 +--- + + *pokes experimentally* + +Knock knock, anyone home? + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-14-dear-oh-dear.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-14-dear-oh-dear.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..76bd995 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-14-dear-oh-dear.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Dear oh dear." +date: 2018-01-14 +--- + + Dear oh dear. + +I’ll vehemently second the idea that 9–5ers are tyrants! + +Good to have you back, though take the time out if you need it. (Not that you need me to tell you that) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-14-to-live-a-hundred-thousand-lives.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-14-to-live-a-hundred-thousand-lives.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6c9d2a6 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-14-to-live-a-hundred-thousand-lives.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,28 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "To live a hundred thousand lives" +date: 2018-01-14 +--- + + ![](/img/1*ZGuapvqtqB-HLGytH5F9lw.jpeg)Photo by [Alex Block](https://unsplash.com/photos/PdDBTrkGYLo?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/library?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) +> “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies…The man who never reads lives only one.” ― George R.R. Martin, A Dance with DragonsWhy settle for just one life. Why settle for just one world. When you can live lives, explore worlds that you might not otherwise ever have imagined. + +If I can make just one person pick up a book who might not otherwise have done so, then all this writing — all this *Scribbling — *was not for naught. Maybe I won’t. It certainly seems unlikely on Medium, where it seems everyone is a reader, if not often a writer too. + +And that’s the crux of a tangential but related matter. All writers read. For reading the work of others is what fuels our own creative flame. It seems obvious when you say it — but I think it bears repeating regardless. + +There’s only one thing better than living a thousand lives, treading a thousand paths. + +And that’s burning your own path. Not just in life material — for that is truly wonderful in its freedom. + +To forge your own world among the multitude. Craft characters, spin stories. Perhaps…probably…it isn’t for everyone[1]. + +But to me, it is nothing short of awesome. Writing my story — my own story — both in life and in ink. + +The ink and the life intertwined. Life inspires writing…and writing guides life. Inextricable. I write to live, and I live to write. + +Overly dramatic, but there’s truth in it. + +[1] Reading however, surely must be. Anyone who ‘doesn’t like to read’ must not have found the right story, the right format. Or maybe that’s just me blinded by bias. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-15-four-horsemen-of-humanity.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-15-four-horsemen-of-humanity.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..12312a1 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-15-four-horsemen-of-humanity.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,45 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Four Horsemen of Humanity" +date: 2018-01-15 +--- + + ![](/img/1*7ucc2Y3hbeWcVIPPdkSvbg.jpeg)Photo by [Elti Meshau](https://unsplash.com/photos/moK7ZiiquG8?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/darkness?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)*Foreword: My fiction muscle is horribly rusty. This is the first step towards knocking the rust off and as a result I am not proud of it. The fact it was written with minutes to spare before the deadline does not help. Regardless, I’ll publish it anyway. I might come back and rework the concept. Equally I might not. I am at the mercy of my Muse (she too rides a horse)* + +Hoofbeats rolling like thunder. The sun blotted out by a rising swell of strangling darkness. Other sounds rise to accompany the thunder: metal clashing frantically, a great gnashing of teeth; a sonorous tolling of bells and an eerie buzzing as if gigantic flies swirled in the foul clouds that covered the sun. + +Four mounted figures rose over the horizon. Despite the rolling gallop that deafened all around, the shapes glided through the murk. + +War sat astride a mountainous horse, steaming masses of rolling muscle and dark flesh. Both figure and beast were clad in obsidian black armor. Behind the shadowed eyeslit of the imposing helmet danced a red flicker. + +Famine was dwarfed in comparison to this great bulk of armour and muscle. Her horse skeletal, barest slivers of tendons articulating the faded bones, she herself is gaunt, sunken eyes bottomless pits that in turn draw the eye of the unfortunate observer. + +The horse of Pestilence, huge swaths of rotting skin cling to the exposed bone, blood and foul black rot dripping constantly, a cloud of flies envelopng horse and rider, masking any distinguishing features of the pustulent bulk that sits astride the decaying nag. + +The fourth hourseman, by contrast indistinct, a whisper of clouded air, the hint of leg here, suggestion of skull there, the illusion completed by the impossibility of looking directly at the figure, the eye slips, refusing to look. Refusing to see. Refusing to acknowledge the manifestation of Death + +Suddenly, the clamor died away. The riders stopped their rapid and murderous advance, halted as if they had run…no…glided…headlong into a solid wall. The black mist roiled angrily, as if frustrated. + +The sound of bells came again. But not deep and ominous any longer. High and angelic. + +War’s horse reared, letting out a great bellow. The mist shifted, and recoiled. In its retreat it revealed four new figures. Four more horsemen. + +Peace, Plenty, Health and Life. + +Four white horses, and four perfect men and woman astride them. Skin like painted porcelain, clad only in silky robes that billowed joyfully. White for peace, yellow for plenty, green for health and red for life. + +“Ugh, such goddamn killjoys” growled the spiked helmet that rode between War’s shoulders. + +Famine agreed in a voice as thin and reedy as her figure. Barely audible. Pestilence just laughed,a great thundering gurgle punctuated by explosive coughs. + +Death did not speak. But what Death *said *was, “Poor fools. Chaos *always* wins.” + +The Horsemen of Humanity heard. They heard, and knew it was true. But nevertheless, they fought. Moving as one, all withdrew shining blades flickering with the white flame of hope. + +They fought, lost, fought again. Never giving up. A metaphor for humanity’s struggle against darkness. Ultimately futile, but meaningful despite this. + +[*Original inspiration — [WP] Everyone knows the story of The Four Horsemen. What most people don’t realize is that the reason The Horsemen haven’t destroyed the world yet is they have brothers; Peace, Plenty, Health, and Life. But don’t let their hippy names fool you, they’re just as badass. Tell us their story.*](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/7qixjy/wp_everyone_knows_the_story_of_the_four_horsemen/) + +*Thanks to *[*Where Angels Fear*](https://medium.com/u/6c8bcd0d1a65)* for catching my tense mishaps.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-16--ding--1.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-16--ding--1.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..00ca9ac --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-16--ding--1.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,19 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "*ding*[1]" +date: 2018-01-16 +--- + + *ding*[1] + +[1] I really must start doing Scribblings earlier than in the last hour of the day. Too much pressure…[2][3] + +[2] Then again, I only work *at *deadlines, not to them… + +[3] I also must stop this footnote infection before it spreads further[4] + +[4] But I have a feeling it might be too late…[5] + +[5] Yep. Too late *now* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-16-i-felt-a-tremble-along-the-wavelength--as-if-one-of-our-number-was-having-one-of-those-days.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-16-i-felt-a-tremble-along-the-wavelength--as-if-one-of-our-number-was-having-one-of-those-days.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ea028c5 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-16-i-felt-a-tremble-along-the-wavelength--as-if-one-of-our-number-was-having-one-of-those-days.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I felt a tremble along the wavelength, as if one of our number was having one of those days." +date: 2018-01-16 +--- + + I felt a tremble along the wavelength, as if one of our number was having one of *those* days. Behold, it is you who’s trouble I felt. + +I won’t hit you with cheesy and optimistic philosophy. I often feel like that’s beating a man when he’s down. + +I’ll just say this — I love to read what flows from your pen even if it at times is eerie because of how similar our thinking is. Your absence would be felt. + +Oh and you also inspired today’s Scribblings. Or will do, whenever I get a minute to write it… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-16-its-actually-something-quite-unrelated-from-that-long-conversation-chain-we-had-the-other-day.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-16-its-actually-something-quite-unrelated-from-that-long-conversation-chain-we-had-the-other-day.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2a99893 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-16-its-actually-something-quite-unrelated-from-that-long-conversation-chain-we-had-the-other-day.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Its actually something quite unrelated from that long conversation chain we had the other day." +date: 2018-01-16 +--- + + Its actually something quite unrelated from that long conversation chain we had the other day. Only my usual level of cynical, not one of *those* days levels. Now I’d better go write it… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-16-meeting-my-match.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-16-meeting-my-match.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6bf739b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-16-meeting-my-match.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,62 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Meeting my match" +date: 2018-01-16 +--- + + ![](/img/1*WenmBEwjd2Bx0dOmpPM65g.jpeg)Pun very much intended. The fire metaphor for relationships suits me damn fine too. Photo by [Michał Grosicki](https://unsplash.com/photos/3K9SHTiuIB4?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/match?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)*A recent rambling conversation with fellow Capital-J Junkie *[*Where Angels Fear*](https://medium.com/u/6c8bcd0d1a65)*[0] produced many kernels of stories. This is one…* + + +> what happens when I meet someone who says “HELL, yeah! Let’s do it YESTERDAY!” rather than “No, that really is a step too far this time — even *you’ll* die if you do *that!*” ?We both agreed that meeting someone more than someone who was also on our Wavelength would be dangerously fun, emphasis on the danger. + +But as all Junkies know, all the best things come with a healthy dose of risk. What’s Life, what’s living, if you aren’t pedal to the metal?[1] + +So all in all, I think I *would *like to meet my Match. My other half[2]. The ‘your crazy matches my crazy’ kind of person. We’d burn bright, if perhaps not for very long. + +You know, I thought I *did *meet her once. + +The past few years have been more eventful than all the ones before put together.[5] I appear to be cursed to lead an Interesting life. In some ways a blessing, mostly a curse. + +Anyway… + +I thought I met my match in my first love[6]. She was perfect. Not only in that ‘blinded to flaws’ way all first loves are said to be, but…her crazy matched. + +Soon after, as these things inevitably do, all came crashing down. + +She turned to me and told me, in a slightly less direct way, that I wasn’t good enough for her. + +She was right but that’s not the point. It broke me, crushed me, damn near killed me in several ways. + +Not because of what she said. But because the person I had loved —and a piece of me always will — the face that she showed me, *never actually existed*. That’s a fast track to trust so shattered it might take me a lifetime to rebuild. + +All of that is in the past. I speak about it purely for the effect that it had on me, not just to be dark and gloomy. For the lessons that it taught me, and there were many. I’m especially glad to be learning these lessons, and many others, this soon in life. + +She changed me, before and after the fall. I don’t know whether I truly changed or whether I simply began to learn about myself — about who I really am — as a result of what happened, but either way, I hardly recognise who I used to be. + +And she *wasn’t even* my Match. + +Wasn’t even someone who matched my crazy, not truly. Wasn’t quite a fellow Junkie. Wasn’t on the Wavelength, either. I thought she was all of those things.[7] + +God only knows what will happen when I do meet my Match. If I indeed ever have the (mis)fortune of doing so. + +The results will be truly **spectacular**[8], that much is certain. + +[0] He’s also responsible for unleashing this sodding mess of footnotes. Well, Terry Pratchett (GNU) must shoulder some of the blame too, I suppose. + +[1] Not bloody worth all the trouble, that’s what! + +[2] In the purely philosophical sense. ‘You complete me’ is classic codependency[3] + +[3] Something I blatantly suffer from[4] + +[4] But am trying to improve. + +[5] Maybe I’ll tell the interesting bits of that saga sometime. + +[6] First love but not first girl…that was the first lesson + +[7] Through rose-tinted glasses, red flags just look like flags. + +[8] And quite probably blink-and-you’ll-miss it explosive too. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-a-question-on-which-my-head-and-heart-vehemently-disagree.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-a-question-on-which-my-head-and-heart-vehemently-disagree.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..280c980 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-a-question-on-which-my-head-and-heart-vehemently-disagree.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,40 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "A question on which my head and heart vehemently disagree." +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + +> was it a lie … a face she showed you?A question on which my head and heart vehemently disagree. The resultant feeling of being torn in half is… distinctly unpleasant. + +My heart still loves her. Beauty still in the brokenness. + +My head hates her for what she did. + +But the truth is… I don’t know the truth. She did lie, but whether or not she did it *intentionally* I will never know. Swears that she didn’t, of course, but what good’s that, *now*. + + +> Your own self loveError 404: Self love not found. + +All joking aside… I don’t know. There was certainly an element of rose tinted glasses. + + +> accessory boyfriend ‘Ken’ doll who would perform his role according to the script?Interesting that you mention this. She’s known as a serial ‘man-izer’ (is that even a *thing??) — *though of course nobody warned me until it was too damn late. + +Dangerously beautiful and knows it. Weaponises it, even. What she gets out of it all, I don’t know. + +That’s my bitterness speaking to a degree. But there is certainly truth in it. Helps my head to win out over my heart. My traitorous heart that wants to try running back to her… + + +> the man they would love to be, if only they hadn’t been born female.Now that’s a curious idea indeed…this requires more thought of my own. + + +> There’s the fantasy … and then there’s the cold, harsh, bitterly disappointing reality of … me.This would go a long way to explain why I can catch em but never keep em. Not that I can shift the blame for that entirely, mind. + + +> “The World’s either great or wretched, isn’t it? So many people are just finished.”Mostly wretched, as we know. + + +> Very astute!Oh now I didn’t mean to claim credit for that one. I stole it from somewhere, though can’t for the life of me remember where… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-and-now-it-has-a-name--perfect.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-and-now-it-has-a-name--perfect.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0f3adea --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-and-now-it-has-a-name--perfect.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,18 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "And now it has a name. Perfect." +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + +> Defright?And now it *has* a name. Perfect. + + +> A man after my own heartNah, all the stress from brown alerts and/or close encounters with death makes the muscle quite tough… + +*Ahem*. + + +> but that’s another story.Ain’t it always… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-creativity-does-not-necessitate-originality.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-creativity-does-not-necessitate-originality.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..34413c8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-creativity-does-not-necessitate-originality.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,42 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Creativity does not necessitate originality" +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + #### Or: No good comes from a vacuum + +![](/img/1*J9SQ1JdVMe1pSB-jePs1zg.jpeg)Photo by [Greg Rakozy](https://unsplash.com/photos/oMpAz-DN-9I?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/creation?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Even the above statement is not original. (No, really…you’ll see…) + +All writers are influenced by what we read, whether conscious or unconscious. For example, my writing style takes several cues from Terry Pratchett, sometimes very deliberately.[1] And there are no doubt countless unconscious influences feeding into my life in ways I don’t even realise. + +So in that sense I am in no way original. But in that same sense, it doesn’t **matter**. + +Stealing’s no good.[2] But remixing is — has always been, will always *be* — the foundation of creativity. + +Creativity is naturally cyclical. Readers write, and writers read. After all, there are only three[5] plots. + +It’s not just writing. Everyone is influenced by everything. Our imagination isn’t entirely our own — all media that we consume, all experiences that we have, every last thing that we see — gets thrown into one pot. Much like a baking recipe, the blend is original although the ingredients are not. + +Accepting the art of the remix is the first step on the journey to finding a voice **— YOUR** **voice**. Your personal experience (original by nature) will blend into everything else that shapes us as people, all those influences known and unknown. + +And that’s as original as it gets. + +So it’s a poorly kept secret my drafts section is overflowing. This is one more of those drafts finally being shoved out into the world. My original title was thus: + +![](/img/1*Y6Sd0_RYfJ1GYeszDo8ZbQ.png)Then Medium dropped this on me: + +[**Don’t Worry About Being Original — Everything’s a Remix** +*One of the biggest limiting beliefs I run into when talking to aspiring writers or creators is that they don’t have…*medium.com](https://medium.com/personal-growth/dont-worry-about-being-original-everything-s-a-remix-6fbb06ab1683 "https://medium.com/personal-growth/dont-worry-about-being-original-everything-s-a-remix-6fbb06ab1683")[](https://medium.com/personal-growth/dont-worry-about-being-original-everything-s-a-remix-6fbb06ab1683)And here we stand. The same sentiment, much of the same words. Classic example of case-in-point, in a meta sense. Pleasingly neat, actually. + +[1] Footnotes being just one recently rediscovered example + +[2] Unless you’re Robin Hood[3] + +[3] Sidenote[4]: is a rhyme split across a sentence and its footnote still a rhyme? + +[4] Footnote, sidenote…notes aplenty…Dear oh dear. + +[5] Replace ‘three’ with x number as appropriate. Doesn’t change the sentiment. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-echoing-along-the-wavelength--i-hear-them.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-echoing-along-the-wavelength--i-hear-them.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f8e9ced --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-echoing-along-the-wavelength--i-hear-them.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Echoing along the Wavelength, I hear them." +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + +> The screams of recognition?Echoing along the Wavelength, I hear them. It’s the way I work best, and a right pain it is at that. + + +> [1] They really will take over your life, if you’re not careful.Why is it nobody ever warns me until it is too damn late :D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-i-too-would-like-to-be--quoted-by-the-goat.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-i-too-would-like-to-be--quoted-by-the-goat.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..308f146 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-i-too-would-like-to-be--quoted-by-the-goat.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I too would like to be “Quoted by the Goat”." +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + I too would like to be “Quoted by the Goat”. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-it-is-at-that.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-it-is-at-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4153ab8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-it-is-at-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "It is at that…" +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + It is at that… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-more-like-unleashed-it--the-creation-is-all-mine--d.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-more-like-unleashed-it--the-creation-is-all-mine--d.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ac87439 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-more-like-unleashed-it--the-creation-is-all-mine--d.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "More like unleashed it, the creation is all mine :D" +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + More like *unleashed* it, the creation is all mine :D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-oh-i-ll-definitely-do-one--thanks-for-the-heads-up.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-oh-i-ll-definitely-do-one--thanks-for-the-heads-up.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..75fd4cf --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-oh-i-ll-definitely-do-one--thanks-for-the-heads-up.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Oh I’ll definitely do one! Thanks for the heads up." +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + Oh I’ll definitely do one! Thanks for the heads up. + +Can’t use the flags one coz I nicked it as I just corrected. + +‘Meeting my match’ works. I feel like it needs a little *more*, though + +Hmm… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-see-also--code-brown---same-vein-as-the-hospital--code-blue---which-i-think-was-the-original.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-see-also--code-brown---same-vein-as-the-hospital--code-blue---which-i-think-was-the-original.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bfd0944 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-see-also--code-brown---same-vein-as-the-hospital--code-blue---which-i-think-was-the-original.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "See also ‘code brown’ (same vein as the hospital ‘code blue’) which I think was the original…" +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + *See also* ‘code brown’ (same vein as the hospital ‘code blue’) which I think was the original inspiration. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-since-when-have-any-of-us-on-the-wavelength-been-good-at-the-c-word-1.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-since-when-have-any-of-us-on-the-wavelength-been-good-at-the-c-word-1.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3db8610 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-since-when-have-any-of-us-on-the-wavelength-been-good-at-the-c-word-1.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Since when have any of us on the Wavelength been good at the C-word[1]." +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + Since when have any of us on the Wavelength been good at the C-word[1]. + +[1] Namely *caution*, not any others you might be thinking of[2][3] + +[2] Not that would even make sense + +[3] Yep, too late already… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-thank-you-for-reading-it--and-i-really-can-t-take-credit-for-it--it-was-all-the-work-of-my-muse.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-thank-you-for-reading-it--and-i-really-can-t-take-credit-for-it--it-was-all-the-work-of-my-muse.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..424b571 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-thank-you-for-reading-it--and-i-really-can-t-take-credit-for-it--it-was-all-the-work-of-my-muse.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Thank you for reading it. And I really can’t take credit for it, it was all the work of my Muse :)" +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + Thank *you *for reading it. And I really can’t take credit for it, it was all the work of my Muse :) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-that-sounds-about-right.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-that-sounds-about-right.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6131317 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-that-sounds-about-right.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,17 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That sounds about right." +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + +> unable to be any other than we are.That sounds about right. And I’d say it’s a solid mixture of delight and fear and something in between that doesn’t quite have a name. + + +> you just haven’t wanted to listen : PActually yes… this is entirely true, to be fair. My mistake. + +In that respect you are better than others who could have saved me a lot of pain. Or at least *tried to.* Not that I’m bitter of course. + +Oh well. I’ve always liked footnotes anyway… :D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-the-lights-are-on-but-nobody-is-home.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-the-lights-are-on-but-nobody-is-home.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c46cf79 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-the-lights-are-on-but-nobody-is-home.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,23 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "The lights are on but nobody is home…" +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + ![](/img/1*w0SAJIGefjLpGL009swquA.jpeg)Photo by [Nicolai Fedderholdt](https://unsplash.com/photos/jJe9bx5uh-8?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/clouds?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I’ve been stuck lately. Stuck looking [back at the past](https://medium.com/frenetic-scribblings/i-dont-want-1f1f484de4a9). + +Just now I caught myself being…bored. Not something that I’m used to. I always have something to be doing. Or at least to be thinking about. And its not as if I don’t have any of those things anymore. I just seem to be experiencing a lapse in the will behind them. Boredom because I don’t *want to do anything, *not because I have *nothing to do*. + +I’ve decided to call this place of the mind Limbo. + +Not dark, nor light. Just grey. Not happy, nor sad. Just average. + +Not **anything**. + +I’d rather hurt than be here. I’ll take darkness over grey listlessness any day. To hurt means to feel something, and that’s better than *nothing*. A storm is better than strangling mist, as it were. + +I get the sense that to spend too long here would drive anyone insane. I also get the sense for someone like me…that it would take hold quicker than most. Someone eternally busy — always thinking, feeling, doing — will not survive long in the Land of the Nothing. + +Fortunately, I doubt that my theory will be tested. No doubt like a *grey* cloud in the wind, this strange not-time will soon pass. In the meantime, I will continue to gaze into the clouded pool wherein treasured memories inexorably dissolve… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-there-s-definitely-some-mileage-in-it-without-it-being---at-least-on-the-surface---overly-complex.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-there-s-definitely-some-mileage-in-it-without-it-being---at-least-on-the-surface---overly-complex.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e83a930 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-there-s-definitely-some-mileage-in-it-without-it-being---at-least-on-the-surface---overly-complex.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "There’s definitely some mileage in it without it being — at least on the surface — overly complex." +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + There’s definitely some mileage in it without it being — at least on the surface — overly complex. But its certainly a matter of ‘watch this space’… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-yeah--there-s-some-mileage-in-the-match-thing--particularly-because-of-the-double-meaning.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-yeah--there-s-some-mileage-in-the-match-thing--particularly-because-of-the-double-meaning.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9f7374a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-yeah--there-s-some-mileage-in-the-match-thing--particularly-because-of-the-double-meaning.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yeah, there’s some mileage in the match thing, particularly because of the double meaning." +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + Yeah, there’s some mileage in the match thing, particularly because of the double meaning. And then there’s the alternate meaning of match as in ‘fight’. Love is war and all that. I wonder if I can squeeze that in… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-17-you-mean-like-writing-an-entire-story-in-footnotes---d.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-17-you-mean-like-writing-an-entire-story-in-footnotes---d.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8e4bf1d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-17-you-mean-like-writing-an-entire-story-in-footnotes---d.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "You mean like writing an entire story in footnotes? ;D" +date: 2018-01-17 +--- + + You mean like writing an entire story in footnotes? ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-18-no-doubt-there-s-a-sugar-element-to-it--well-spotted.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-18-no-doubt-there-s-a-sugar-element-to-it--well-spotted.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1d4c1bf --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-18-no-doubt-there-s-a-sugar-element-to-it--well-spotted.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "No doubt there’s a sugar element to it, well spotted." +date: 2018-01-18 +--- + + No doubt there’s a sugar element to it, well spotted. I do get sugar cravings. But they don’t incapacitate me like this did. + +The type of headache I described is typical of caffeine withdrawal apparently. And I drink my coffee black no sugar (except at work — two sugars where necessary) so yeah, gotta be mostly caffeine. + +Trouble is, I sure as hell can’t work with what amounts to an hangover-on-steriods (I’ve never quite had a hangover — just don’t have the metabolism for it- but from others descriptions its similar) so the soonest I’d be able to take a day out to detox would probably be Wednesday…. + +This is gonna *hurt…* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-18-skulls-and-icepicks---caffeine-headaches-suck.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-18-skulls-and-icepicks---caffeine-headaches-suck.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..dfdbc3b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-18-skulls-and-icepicks---caffeine-headaches-suck.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,35 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Skulls and icepicks — Caffeine headaches suck" +date: 2018-01-18 +--- + + ![](/img/1*0V2rDSk8SOr6mpfFf28EJA.jpeg)Photo by [Lexi Ruskell](https://unsplash.com/photos/rnAsJ38qio8?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/coffee?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I like my coffee. Love it, in fact. Its one of my favourite flavours, even though I have a dominant sweet tooth. And I like it the same way I like my women — strong, dark and too hot for you. Milk in coffee is a *sin*![1] Don’t even mention the horror that is decaf… + +I *don’t *like it trying to kill me by hammering my skull apart for neglecting it.[2] It has become a crutch on which I am dependent without even realising… + +Turns out I’m thoroughly addicted to caffeine. + +Should have seen that one coming, considering how often I joked about that idea. But it took me several hours of experiencing it to realise I was even in caffeine withdrawal. Partly because its impossible to think straight while in its grip, but mostly because I didn’t *think* I was truly addicted. And yet how wrong I was. All I had to do was skip drinking coffee for one day, and I essentially ceased to function. + +Let me describe a caffeine headache to you as a sort of public service announcement. + +At first a dull throb behind the eyes. I figured “Oh, I just need a screen break”. Nope. The throb built and built until it felt like someone was driving a knife into my eyesockets and twisting it joyfully. Then it graduated to someone hammering the inside of my forehead with an icepick. I’m exaggerating, but not much. + +Half a can of Monster later — I know, I know, I should have made coffee instead but I was in no state to handle boiling water — and I am right as rain as if nothing ever happened. + +I’m going to have to go cold turkey on the stuff eventually. + +Not permanently — I enjoy my coffee too damn much for that— but for a time to break the addiction, reset the dependency. Definitely should ditch the energy drinks though, much as I love them for the instant boost.[3] I don’t like the idea of *having to *have caffeine to keep me functional. But for now that is my newly discovered reality. + +So the ultimate lesson I learnt today was everything in moderation. + +That includes moderation itself, mind! Life’s no good if you avoid all things that might be bad for you. But caffeine addiction and subsequent skull-imploding withdrawal is not worth it. + +[1] I’m kidding, of course. Drink yours whatever way you like — just don’t give it to *me *you filthy heathen! + +[2] This applies equally as well to the women as to the caffeine. + +[3] A side effect of my ridiculously fast metabolism is that sugar and caffeine both have an exaggerated energising effect on me. Part of that is psychological, but only part. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-18-this-one-s-broken.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-18-this-one-s-broken.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6dd0b2c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-18-this-one-s-broken.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,37 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "This one’s broken" +date: 2018-01-18 +--- + + ![](/img/1*Lu_UqjFOTUfcS2v5gZzXcw.jpeg)Photo by [Pablo Heimplatz](https://unsplash.com/photos/an3qaxZ-2bY?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/new?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I had a heart + +First a flutter, + +a false first love + +Then a taste of reality, + +or so I thought + +Lies exposed soon after + +Heart shattered once + +Then someone to help me pick up the pieces + +A someone of brutal honesty + +The only antidote to the assassination of trust + +But just not quite meant to be + +Heart shattered twice + +I had a heart + +Now I need a new one + +This one’s broken + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-18-varies-hugely-based-on-work-day-or-not-work-day.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-18-varies-hugely-based-on-work-day-or-not-work-day.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..67293fe --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-18-varies-hugely-based-on-work-day-or-not-work-day.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,17 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Varies hugely based on work day or not work day." +date: 2018-01-18 +--- + + Varies hugely based on work day or not work day. + +Not work day: one or two coffees, black, quite strong. Usually no energy drinks/coke etc + +Work day: Something ridiculous like two to five coffees (usually two or three over the course of a 10 hour shift, mind), black sometimes two sugars, not sure of strength because its machine made (So probably a damn sight weaker than I make it!) Sometimes an energy drink on top. + +I usually work a 4 day week, but its been 6 days over December. So consumption went up a bit. + +Maybe that’s not enough to cause caffeine addiction I don’t know — seems like you can tell me. But it sure feels like what I’m going through. And a detox from caffeine and permanent energy drink ban can’t do harm…in the long run anyway! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-18-you-highlighted-part-of-one-of-my-pieces-in-scribblings-though.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-18-you-highlighted-part-of-one-of-my-pieces-in-scribblings-though.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..56bc789 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-18-you-highlighted-part-of-one-of-my-pieces-in-scribblings-though.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "You highlighted part of one of my pieces in Scribblings though?" +date: 2018-01-18 +--- + + You highlighted part of one of my pieces in Scribblings though? Or is it purely when you try to highlight multiple lines? + +Either way, *very* odd bug + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-19-glad-that-publication-is-included-in-that-privileged-list-even-if-you-have-no-control-over-it--p.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-19-glad-that-publication-is-included-in-that-privileged-list-even-if-you-have-no-control-over-it--p.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ed6a470 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-19-glad-that-publication-is-included-in-that-privileged-list-even-if-you-have-no-control-over-it--p.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Glad that publication is included in that privileged list even if you have no control over it :P" +date: 2018-01-19 +--- + + Glad that publication is included in that privileged list even if you have no control over it :P + +You’re right, that was certainly worth my time. Thanks for the recommendation. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-19-i-mean-i-don-t-really-count--but-i-do-almost-always-say-yes-to-an-offer-of-a-coffee--which-is-very.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-19-i-mean-i-don-t-really-count--but-i-do-almost-always-say-yes-to-an-offer-of-a-coffee--which-is-very.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9ff62d3 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-19-i-mean-i-don-t-really-count--but-i-do-almost-always-say-yes-to-an-offer-of-a-coffee--which-is-very.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I mean I don’t really count, but I do almost always say yes to an offer of a coffee, which is very…" +date: 2018-01-19 +--- + + I mean I don’t really count, but I do almost always say yes to an offer of a coffee, which is very often at work! (Commercial kitchens are crazy places…) + +My intake certainly fluctuates massively which could well be part of the problem. I almost never go totally without though, which would explain why it hasn’t hit me until now. + +I’m ‘superhuman’ in a number of things — fast metabolism being chief — but *definitely *not in resisting addiction. I get hooked hard and easy, and the crash always **really** sucks. Aside — I wish I had your resistance because there are several things I’d be interested to try once but cannot because I know their addictive properties will hit me powerfully. + +Guess the verdict on whether or not caffeine is to blame will be soon seen when I come off the stuff. The speed with which a hit took me back to normal before crashing again suggests it must be…or its my yearly Illness I suppose… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-19-life-s-a-scream-fear--joy-or-otherwise.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-19-life-s-a-scream-fear--joy-or-otherwise.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..97ab458 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-19-life-s-a-scream-fear--joy-or-otherwise.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Life’s a scream…fear, joy or otherwise" +date: 2018-01-19 +--- + + ![](/img/1*uc8AinGAZWhpsf52qNGlgw.jpeg)Photo by [Cristian Newman](https://unsplash.com/photos/wGKCaRbElmk?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/scream?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Life is just one long scream…literal or otherwise. + +In the literal sense, we arrived screaming. We may well go out screaming. And lots of screams in between might be the mark of a life well lived, in my humble opinion. + +In the sense of the metaphor, our life is a scream against Life. What matters is what you’re screaming about, and more to the point what you’re screaming *at*. + +Sometimes we scream in plain old fear. If we consistently saw the Universe for what it is, rather than what we *think* it is, we’d not be able to get a word in edgeways between the terror. Fortunately, this is not the case. + +Or the scream might be of anger. + +If we’re lucky the scream is a yell of joy. Not that it ever lasts…but neither does the fear, or the rage for that matter. The temporary nature of all things is, as usual, a blessing and a curse. + +Of course, there are other emotions but I think they can all be broadly classified under the Screams of Fear, Anger and Joy. Perhaps an oversimplication, but hey, this is only a half-sincere metaphor to begin with! + +There is one other scream, the trademark of Adrenaline Junkies (Capital J) everywhere. + +The scream of defright. + +That fluctuating mixture of the Rush and abject horror. + +Whether or not it is worth it is something I’d rather not think of because it risks showing me the error of my ways. And what *fun* would that be? + +Overthinking and the resultant paralysis is the enemy of progress and ultimately…fun. And what’s the point of life (there isn’t one) if it isn’t *fun *despite all the suck? + +Sod it. To live despite Life is the only way worth living. Live hard, and if that means living fast, so be it. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-19-well-of-course--grass-is-always-greener--coffee-always-darker-or-something-like-that.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-19-well-of-course--grass-is-always-greener--coffee-always-darker-or-something-like-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2678750 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-19-well-of-course--grass-is-always-greener--coffee-always-darker-or-something-like-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Well of course. Grass is always greener, coffee always darker or something like that…" +date: 2018-01-19 +--- + + Well of course. Grass is always greener, coffee always darker or something like that… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-20-damn-right--the-only-question-is-two-axes--or-a--axe-version-of-a---zweihander---d.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-20-damn-right--the-only-question-is-two-axes--or-a--axe-version-of-a---zweihander---d.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fc4d111 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-20-damn-right--the-only-question-is-two-axes--or-a--axe-version-of-a---zweihander---d.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Damn right. The only question is two axes, or a (axe version of a…) zweihander? ;D" +date: 2018-01-20 +--- + + "The beginning and end are set, what's in between is yours. Nothing is in vain, all is remembered."Damn right. The only question is two axes, or a (axe version of a…) zweihander? ;D + +Scream of defiance was one I missed from the original piece. Though I suppose it could be argued as a mixture of all three ‘basic screams’… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-20-seen-in-that-light--yes.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-20-seen-in-that-light--yes.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..629afe4 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-20-seen-in-that-light--yes.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Seen in that light, yes." +date: 2018-01-20 +--- + + Seen in that light, yes. + +Perhaps better to say ‘strive for perfect, expect to miss’? Its a tricky one. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-20-there-s-got-to-be-a-dash-of-joy-in-defiance--surely.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-20-there-s-got-to-be-a-dash-of-joy-in-defiance--surely.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b3653a9 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-20-there-s-got-to-be-a-dash-of-joy-in-defiance--surely.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "There’s got to be a dash of joy in defiance, surely?" +date: 2018-01-20 +--- + + There’s got to be a dash of *joy* in defiance, surely? + +Zweihander for rule of cool, dual wield for practicality. Shield? Pfffffffft. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-20-wanton-abuse-of-meaningless-truisms.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-20-wanton-abuse-of-meaningless-truisms.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3da6d8a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-20-wanton-abuse-of-meaningless-truisms.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,31 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Wanton abuse of meaningless truisms" +date: 2018-01-20 +--- + + ![](/img/1*kV4-rHsyoDl4ursB1CG72Q.jpeg)Rule 38 from my life code is ‘*Philosophising never actually helped anybody*.’ + +This is an attempt to combat my unfortunate tendency to react to emotional situations with positive philosophy. + +Such a reaction, while my trademark, is…not all that helpful. Sympathy and other emotionally ‘active’ reactions would be a damn sight better, I think. + +Philosophical musing has its place. That place *isn’t* helping people. + +Just because a fact about life is painfully true, doesn’t make it useful to be reminded of in that moment. Sure, it helps me a fair bit. But I’m not exactly *typical *in my emotional processing*. *(If there is such a thing) + +That actually brings to mind a tangential but related point. I vaguely remember reading that men and women react to life issues in different manners. + +Men instinctually look for solutions, while women want to be listened to. + +Anecdotally, this has proven true repeatedly. It goes a long way to explain the difficulty in resolving (heterosexual) relationship issues. + +I’m not entirely sure what my point is…I’m philosophically musing about… philosophical musing. Further, it’s important to recognise when musing is relevant, and when it isn’t. + +In summary… emotions are damned tricky + +… + +That’s a meaningless truism in and of itself isn’t it. Damn! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-21--the-best-way-out-is-always-through--angels-got-their-halos-walking-through-the-fires-of-hell.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-21--the-best-way-out-is-always-through--angels-got-their-halos-walking-through-the-fires-of-hell.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f86e26b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-21--the-best-way-out-is-always-through--angels-got-their-halos-walking-through-the-fires-of-hell.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,32 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "“The best way out is always through. Angels got their halos walking through the fires of hell”" +date: 2018-01-21 +--- + + ![](/img/1*JU7deLCU5l54IDbLwO5M2A.jpeg)Photo by [Mohamed Nohassi](https://unsplash.com/photos/UKX_DwNKXSA?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/fire?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Those are the words of someone who shattered my trust. And yet I still repeat those words like a mantra. + +Despite all she took from me, she gave me those words. Those words of power. Perhaps they were even worth all the pain. Perhaps. Because they are so fundamentally true. The only answer, when life sucks, is *keep going*. + + +> “If you’re *going through hell*, keep going.” — *Winston Churchill*Churchill said it first, of course. But I prefer the Angels version. Not just because of the special meaning it holds to me, but for the extra emotional punch. + +Imagine an angel. + +A flawless angel beaten down by the fires of hell. Pristine white robe torn and charred, ragged edge trailing in the ashes. The faintest flicker of a halo of flame glimmering in the hazy air above her waterfall of spun-gold hair. + +White dove feathers of her wings burning merrily. Burning, yet remaining intact. Soft down transformed into blazing flame. Wings of fire. Wings of a phoenix. + +Imagine an angel walking through hell, reborn in the fire. + +Perhaps she chose her path. Likely, Life chose it for her in an absent minded toss of the dice. + +What she always has the choice in, however, is to keep going. Step after step, despite the fire. + +Take the path. Walk through the fire. Emerge as a phoenix. + +If fire still licks around you, remember — just *keep going. *You cannot go back — and to stop would invite the flame to consume you. + +*If only I were better at listening to what I preach…* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-22-hindsight--fired-by-delirium.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-22-hindsight--fired-by-delirium.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5240716 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-22-hindsight--fired-by-delirium.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,39 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Hindsight, fired by delirium" +date: 2018-01-22 +--- + + #### Days lost to the fire + +Where am I? What day is it? *Why* is it? + +My annual illness has struck early, this year. As always it strikes hard. + +I’ve forgotten quite what it feels like to be well. Hopefully all will be remembered soon… + +As usual the main object of this piece is *not* looking for sympathy. I’m using my inconvenience as a lesson once again. + +The lesson this time is you *cannot* predict the future. Preparation may be almost as good as a crystal ball… But it is only ever almost. + +Right now, I am thoroughly regretting setting the rules of my daily writing challenge as harshly as I did. + +Because the challenge isn’t just to write every day for a year. It’s to *publish* a piece near enough from scratch, every day. + +At first it seemed easy. Of course it did. Of *course*. + +That led to overconfidence. If I had seen this illness coming, I would perhaps have set the rules a little looser. + +Now that I’m in the grips of it, the challenge seems almost impossible. But nevertheless I persist, just barely. + +Perhaps I’m keeping the challenge going by token only. Certainly this piece, if not others, are not on par with many of the others. Maybe it would be better just to write every day, and not worry about publishing. + +Naturally, now I have set the rules i am reluctant to change them. That and I know a relaxation risks editors block setting in. Maybe that’s a good thing — maybe I should allow myself to sort the wheat from the chaff *prior* to publishing. + +I’m not sure — your thoughts would be appreciated. + +Normal (as much as that word applies) service to be resumed as soon as the damn illness subsides. This includes responses to responses, which I have been thoroughly neglecting. My apologies. + +I’ll still publish a piece daily, no promises as to its quality… (is there ever?) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-25-all-good-points.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-25-all-good-points.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..937e8fe --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-25-all-good-points.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "All good points." +date: 2018-01-25 +--- + + All good points. They’ve collected over time, a lot like dust. Thanks for the assist in tidying them, which I will do *at some point*.[1] + +Particularly in reference to #2, there was something I read late last night — which I can’t find for the life of me — about brutal honesty being overrated. And emphasising more the brutality than the honesty. On reflection, I very much agree. Better — and *much* more difficult, but worth it — to be kind without compromising honesty. + +Yeah, they need work. This is what I meant about them not being absolute — by nature of my existence as a series of at-odds contradictions, rules (which are foremost for me to understand me, second to help others do the same) are difficult to write. And must be edited more often than I have been doing… + +[1] I’m aware I shouldn’t consign things to the Neverland of Tommorrow but returning to life is hard/busy work dangit! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-25-exactly.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-25-exactly.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..98349d3 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-25-exactly.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,65 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Exactly." +date: 2018-01-25 +--- + + +> 0. Why?Exactly. + + +> 3. This is simply a reformulation of ‘0’ and, therefore, redundant.I don’t think all reformulations are redundant because the way you say something is almost as important as what you say. Repeating something, but with different emphasis, may hold value. + +This rule, however, probably *is* redundant — after all that. + + +> 4. There is no second best — which is why [this post](https://medium.com/@WhereAngelsFearToTread/can-you-keep-a-secret-47e565262835) answers *itself*.Just as with 2. (as previously addressed) I am beginning to shift in my thinking towards this. + +Well…no… + +I’m beginning to develop another of my damned contradictions where I find myself torn once more between two viewpoints that *should* be irreconcilable. + +*Are *irreconcilable, yet I hold both regardless. Its annoying at the **very** least because it makes me not only contradictory but contrary to boot… + + +> 7. Don’t lie — unless it’s to spare someone’s feelings … and even then there had better be a *damn* good reason.See answer to 4. + + +> 8. See 3.I don’t quite agree that not taking anything for granted is as simple as ‘why?’ + + +> 9./10. These are usually concatenated into a single rule.They could be, maybe they should be. I seem to prefer ‘rule pairs’ over ‘double barreled’ rules but the semantics don’t matter too much.. + + +> 16. No … don’t give the game away — ‘What would be the point of ciphering messages that very clever enemies couldn’t break? You’d end up not knowing what they thought you thought they were thinking…’Oooh that’s clever…hmm… + + +> 19. Give both equal consideration, however — it’s better to regret the dreams you chased than the dreams you didn’t.This is another one of my ‘rule pairs’ that is intentionally directly contradicted by rule 20. Those are also some of my most changed/rephrased rules and ones most liable for expunging too. + + +> 24. I’ll think about that one but remember this: be careful what you wish forHmm. Yeah. Maybe ‘for better or worse’ needs to be suffixed on that one + + +> 25. That’s unambitious — what happened to rule 9?This is referencing my notion that every good deed has a bad counterpart. I know I said previously I don’t believe in Karma…and logically, I don’t. But pessimistically, I just can’t shake the notion of ‘ups and downs’. Another one of my infuriating contradictions…. + +Further to that it’s like a ‘remember you are mortal’ but for happiness. Fun! + + +> 30. ?Another one resembling Karma. But with a more…generic (?) bent. Basically help people because you never know when you’ll need help yourself. + +Its from some story I found on Reddit originally, I think. Now that I come to mention it, I’m not sure what the point was me publishing just the rules with only a short header. Every rule bears a story and makes less sense than I realised without it (obviously, because I know all the stories..) + + +> 32. Oops! That’s contradictory.Exactly. Perfect for me, then ;D + + +> 39. Of course there is.Not my rule, tempted to scrub it. But at the same time, I like it… + +Blast! I really can’t shake this damned duality thing. Going to need two sets of rules, one the exact opposite of the other, at this rate. + +That’d be insane…sounds it anyway. Ooooooooooor, maybe it’d be *the only* sane way to go about things. + + +> 47. See 3.See answer to 8. This rule could equally be written Junkie-style ‘Just go for it’ which isn’t a rephrasing of 0. at all I don’t think. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-25-hmm--that-s-one-to-think-about.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-25-hmm--that-s-one-to-think-about.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5e4ee71 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-25-hmm--that-s-one-to-think-about.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Hmm. That’s one to think about." +date: 2018-01-25 +--- + + Hmm. That’s one to think about. + +Maybe I’ve been far too optimistic in considering how the technology would be applied in practice. Particularly when corporations become involved… + +That said, the profit-driven attitude that is problematic should be obsoleted by UBI — because UBI otherwise wouldn’t work correctly — which is in turn a prior step in H+. Whole package thing, again. + +There’s definitely a point to which me and many others have romanticised it. Hmm. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-25-i-haven-t--but-certainly-should-from-the-looks-of-it--i-ve-not-seen-any-black-mirror-at-all-yet.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-25-i-haven-t--but-certainly-should-from-the-looks-of-it--i-ve-not-seen-any-black-mirror-at-all-yet.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2b6a951 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-25-i-haven-t--but-certainly-should-from-the-looks-of-it--i-ve-not-seen-any-black-mirror-at-all-yet.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,18 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I haven’t, but certainly should from the looks of it. I’ve not seen any Black Mirror at all…Yet." +date: 2018-01-25 +--- + + I haven’t, but certainly should from the looks of it. I’ve not seen any Black Mirror at all…Yet. + +Sounds like the case of someone getting caught for speeding by footage from their own helmet camera… + +As for viral infection…something I considered touching on but glossed over. That’s another caveat — you’d need an Adblocker in your head, and it’d better be a *damn* good one. + + +> It’ll always be someone *else* who is the ‘+’, never us — *we’ll* always be superceded … by H++.From another angle…that’s exactly the point. Transhumanism isn’t an endgame, its a process. Its hijacking…no…fast tracking, evolution. + +For the moment though, something to be explored in fiction. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-25-i-was-recovering--touchwood.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-25-i-was-recovering--touchwood.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d079c7d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-25-i-was-recovering--touchwood.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I was recovering (touchwood!)" +date: 2018-01-25 +--- + + I was recovering (touchwood!) at last by the time you added that. Regardless, it did make me smirk, particularly as ‘take your mind off the pain’ is my go-to insincere solution. Probably a little too much, actually.. + +Ta! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-25-i-wasn-t-denying-its-usefulness--besides-in-the-deliberately-dramatic-phrasing-of-the-code-rule.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-25-i-wasn-t-denying-its-usefulness--besides-in-the-deliberately-dramatic-phrasing-of-the-code-rule.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1a7c1f5 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-25-i-wasn-t-denying-its-usefulness--besides-in-the-deliberately-dramatic-phrasing-of-the-code-rule.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I wasn’t denying its usefulness, besides in the deliberately dramatic phrasing of the code rule." +date: 2018-01-25 +--- + + I wasn’t denying its usefulness, besides in the deliberately dramatic phrasing of the code rule. Just questioning whether it is useful besides *self*-reflection. + +I have a tendency to if not weaponise, at least *wield *philosophy - that this rule is in place (and deliberately exaggerated) to combat. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-25-there-are-53---though-numbered-0-54--because.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-25-there-are-53---though-numbered-0-54--because.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..dd362dc --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-25-there-are-53---though-numbered-0-54--because.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,18 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "There are 53. (Though numbered 0–54. Because.)" +date: 2018-01-25 +--- + + There are 53. (Though numbered 0–54. Because.) + +[**Frenetic Scribblings #29: Anchorpoint in the eye of chaos** +*One of the few things in my life that I treat in an absolute manner are my rules.*medium.com](https://medium.com/@aronajones/frenetic-scribblings-29-anchorpoint-in-the-eye-of-chaos-4d77f31f7759 "https://medium.com/@aronajones/frenetic-scribblings-29-anchorpoint-in-the-eye-of-chaos-4d77f31f7759")[](https://medium.com/@aronajones/frenetic-scribblings-29-anchorpoint-in-the-eye-of-chaos-4d77f31f7759)They are perhaps getting a little convoluted and in need of summation in a similar manner to yours, both of which are very sage. + +And they are not perhaps as absolute as I made out in that piece. + +I’m still trying to decide if the rules shape me, or if I shape them. I’m pretty sure its a continuous process that flows both ways. Self-discovery and that that… + +As for the number 8…I’m going to need time to think on that one… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-25-this-makes-me-think-of-a-caveat-to-concept-of-wiring-one-s-brain-to-the-internet---that-is-now.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-25-this-makes-me-think-of-a-caveat-to-concept-of-wiring-one-s-brain-to-the-internet---that-is-now.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..915fc41 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-25-this-makes-me-think-of-a-caveat-to-concept-of-wiring-one-s-brain-to-the-internet---that-is-now.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "This makes me think of a caveat to concept of wiring one’s brain to the Internet — that is now…" +date: 2018-01-25 +--- + + This makes me think of a caveat to concept of wiring one’s brain to the Internet — that is now beginning to bleed into mainstream media — that should be obvious but perhaps isn’t as obvious as it should be. + +Just adding a net connection would be like a search engine in your head. Damn handy, but not life changing. For proper ‘neural-net interface’ (for want of a better term) the brain would need a more comprehensive to store, organise, process etc all that information. Humans were not designed to operate machinery, nevermind to have information downloaded into us. You can’t have a small part of transhumanism — just one upgrade — without the full package, the complete upgrade of human capacity. + +Tangentially though, I don’t *personally* desire H+ for want of upgrading myself. I want H+ foremost to bring myself *on par* with others. Particularly, to grant myself visual recall. The probability of then exceeding human capability is a (don’t get me wrong, welcome) side effect. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-01-25-well-put--the-best-defense-is-a-strong-offence-is-just-a-warfare-specific-version-of-prevention-is.markdown b/_posts/2018-01-25-well-put--the-best-defense-is-a-strong-offence-is-just-a-warfare-specific-version-of-prevention-is.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..37a161b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-01-25-well-put--the-best-defense-is-a-strong-offence-is-just-a-warfare-specific-version-of-prevention-is.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Well put! The best defense is a strong offence is just a warfare-specific version of prevention is…" +date: 2018-01-25 +--- + + Well put! The best defense is a strong offence is just a warfare-specific version of prevention is the best medicine after all… + +And the best kind of shield is one that is *very* *sharp *; D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-02-09-thanks--that-was-just-the-arsekick-i-needed-to-get-back-to-my-sorely-neglected-writing.markdown b/_posts/2018-02-09-thanks--that-was-just-the-arsekick-i-needed-to-get-back-to-my-sorely-neglected-writing.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..26aa29f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-02-09-thanks--that-was-just-the-arsekick-i-needed-to-get-back-to-my-sorely-neglected-writing.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Thanks. That was just the arsekick I needed to get back to my sorely neglected writing." +date: 2018-02-09 +--- + + Thanks. That was just the arsekick I needed to get back to my sorely neglected writing. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-02-13-remember-it-s-only-one-down-and-the-rest-is-up.markdown b/_posts/2018-02-13-remember-it-s-only-one-down-and-the-rest-is-up.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..01448bf --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-02-13-remember-it-s-only-one-down-and-the-rest-is-up.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,59 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Remember it’s only one down and the rest is up" +date: 2018-02-13 +--- + + ![](/img/1*UNCWaWDlDIPcDdMjvuqGsw.jpeg)Photo by [Pedro Henrique Santos](https://unsplash.com/photos/Bt6VT01jIwI?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/motorcycle?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Riding a motorcycle is far different to driving a car. It is *more* than driving. + +*No?* + +People are not referred to as ‘drivers’ (unless they’re a professional) nor do they self-identify that way. Jumping in a car, passenger or driver, is something almost all of us do without a second thought. It is by nature a more passive experience than on a bike. + +People **do **self-identify as ‘motorcyclists’. I do it, [Kris Gage](https://medium.com/@krisgage) does it. In fact as far as I know, *all* bikers do it. Motorcycling is a sub-culture, and in my experience, a sub-culture like no other. + +From the day you swing a leg over, you are a part of something. On and off the road, but particularly on. The little greeting bikers have — be it a nod, wave or something else entirely — when passing each other is the foremost symbol of this. That’s…pretty cool actually. Almost as cool as the glorious machines we ride! ;) + +To reiterate, motorcycling is more than driving. It is an experience that cannot be had in a box. Whether this leads to [a certain philosophy](https://medium.com/frenetic-scribblings/bikers-club-of-philosophy-242b0661cccf), or it is the certain philosophy that leads people to two wheels, I am not yet certain. + +As in all sub-cultures, motorcycling is packed with adages. Nuggets of wisdom passed rider to rider. These are the inspiration for writing this, because they apply quite so disconcertingly well to Life in General. + +Here’s a couple of my favorites. + +#### *Look where you want to go* + +This was drilled into me on CBT and was the first axiom that I realised was cross applicable to life. Look where you want to go on a motorcycle, and your body naturally steers you in that direction. Whatever you do, don’t look down! + +Similarly in life. Find your target, and the path opens itself. Glance at it, check for the manhole covers and the diesel spills. But don’t linger looking down. Focus on the horizon and you’ll find your way through life’s corners. + +#### Remember it’s only one down and the rest is up + +For those unfortunates among you that are not motorcyclists — motorcycles use pedal shifters. + +Step down into first. Then pull the lever up — through neutral — into second and you’re away.[1] + +One down, and the rest is up. + +There are the gritty, torquey lows, but there are also the glorious high speed…highs. Can’t have one without the other. + +#### Dress for the slide, not the ride + +This one is contentious amongst motorcyclists. Protective gear doesn’t look as cool, unfortunately. High visibility vests certainly spoil the look of a nice leather jacket.[2] And all the layers suck in the summer heat — hot tarmac and a hotter engine. + +But in my book — it is better to sweat than bleed. + +I’ve had a couple stumbles in my short motorcycling history, and each time the proper gear allowed me to brush them off with hardly a scratch. + +Gear up for life’s challenges, rather than the highway highs. Because you will stumble sooner or later. + +There you have it. There’s a couple of fragments of ‘biker wisdom’ applied to life. Maybe I’m just seeing something in nothing, maybe there ain’t no biker philosophy. + +Who am I kidding! If you think I’m wrong, go swing your leg over and go for a spin. + +Then try and tell me otherwise, I dare you… + +[1] This is why any boot designed for motorcycling has a pad of sorts on the top of one or both boots. Now you know! + +[2] And their usefulness when so many people don’t even look in the *first place* is debatable, but that’s beside the point. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-02-14-for-the-love-of-blood.markdown b/_posts/2018-02-14-for-the-love-of-blood.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..69a8db7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-02-14-for-the-love-of-blood.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,41 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "For the love of blood" +date: 2018-02-14 +--- + + #### Semifictional pain + +![](/img/1*8mlONS6EeDF5Vi6njjg1Kg.jpeg)Photo by [Jack B](https://unsplash.com/photos/o1radglopDA?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/dark?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)He warned her. Warned her that he was dangerous. She laughed it off. How could someone so perfect be dangerous? She didn’t realise her foolishness. *Of course.* + +Ignored the rumbling of her gut. Her gut knew the bitter truth in his words. Chewed on that kernel, shouted a warning. Kept shouting, but was overruled. She was blinkered by lust. *Of course.* + +She should have known better. Should have seen what was in front of her. *Of course.* + +For a time it was good. *Of course.* + +They fell. Fell together, laughing. Brushed the dust from their wings and flew together. *Of course.* + +They burnt bright together. *Of course.* + +Sometimes, he found he could not fly. Found himself encircled by daemons she tried to help him fight. This was what his afterthought of a warning had been about. *Of course.* + +The daemons cut him. Shredded at his skin, hot blood rivers. *Of course.* + +Sometimes they flew still, cinders trailing from flaming wings. More often, they fought daemons in the dark. Her fight, her fight as his shield soon drew the ire of the darkness that ate at him. *Of course.* + +Soon the daemons slashed at her too. The daemons were his, and now hers. His, *hers*, **theirs**. Mine, *yours*, **ours**. *Of course.* + +Her eyes snapped open, and she understood. From that first scar, she knew. The pain was pleasure. Release. Escape. That was why the daemons seemed to grow stronger with each new fight. Armed with this knowledge she fought anew. And failed anew. *Of course.* + +It didn’t matter in the end. Where there is fire, someone must burn. *Of course.* + +They burnt fierce. And then they burnt **out**. *Of course.* + +Nobody knows what happened to the daemons. + +Nobody knows? Lies. Like the flames of their passion. Deep down she knows. He knows. *Of course. *They still prowl in the shadows. *Of course. *Only now he and her do not fight at each others backs. *Of course.* + +So pray that the shadows hold their grip. *Of course, ****they won’t.*** + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-02-15-oh-yes.markdown b/_posts/2018-02-15-oh-yes.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9db2f70 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-02-15-oh-yes.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Oh yes." +date: 2018-02-15 +--- + + Oh yes. + +Exactly this and damn am I glad to have learnt that lesson as soon as I have. Now I just need to find a way to make me remember it when the New Love (Not just blind, but dumb) grabs again… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-02-20-this--i-was-well-more-than-a-month-into-a-daily-publishing-challenge-when-i-got-hit-by-a-pretty.markdown b/_posts/2018-02-20-this--i-was-well-more-than-a-month-into-a-daily-publishing-challenge-when-i-got-hit-by-a-pretty.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cc30ba6 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-02-20-this--i-was-well-more-than-a-month-into-a-daily-publishing-challenge-when-i-got-hit-by-a-pretty.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "This. I was well more than a month into a daily publishing challenge when I got hit by a pretty…" +date: 2018-02-20 +--- + + This. I was well more than a month into a daily publishing challenge when I got hit by a pretty nasty illness. Tried to push myself to write still and carried the torch a couple days. + +I’m not proud of the work I produced in that time, but I am proud of having produced it. If that makes sense. And then I just…gave up. And then the next day I thought ‘oh what does it matter’ and since then it has proven incredibly hard to get ‘back on the horse’ so to speak. + +Now, I’m me, and you’re you — so YMMV. But as you say — keeping momentum is easier than building it. Thanks for writing this. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-02-22-ymmv-stands-for--your-mileage-may-vary.markdown b/_posts/2018-02-22-ymmv-stands-for--your-mileage-may-vary.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c11bcf6 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-02-22-ymmv-stands-for--your-mileage-may-vary.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "YMMV stands for ‘Your mileage may vary’." +date: 2018-02-22 +--- + + YMMV stands for ‘Your mileage may vary’. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-02-26-meeting-my-match.markdown b/_posts/2018-02-26-meeting-my-match.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..61bff41 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-02-26-meeting-my-match.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,12 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Meeting my match" +date: 2018-02-26 +--- + + #### Quoted By The Goat + +#### Matchbox Quotes Day 49 [2018–02–26] + +![](/img/1*HtuQdTpgJ7OV-GxNFaTMAA.png) +> Igniting a duel of hearts \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-01-a-story-i-never-thought-i-could-tell---a-confession-and-a-plea.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-01-a-story-i-never-thought-i-could-tell---a-confession-and-a-plea.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..685f89b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-01-a-story-i-never-thought-i-could-tell---a-confession-and-a-plea.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,77 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "A story I never thought I could tell — a confession and a plea" +date: 2018-03-01 +--- + + A simple heart inscribed in midnight black ink on a lover’s skin. An innocuous question heralding a world-shattering answer… ![](/img/1*w_R2wGmaCKxDKn1yg17WKA.jpeg)Photo by [Pelly Benassi](https://unsplash.com/photos/Hz1WQbHcXag?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/storm?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)#### Content warning: self harm + +This piece has been written for a long time. And it has sat, like a lead weight, in my drafts for what feels like an age. I hope publishing this brings the release it has been promising, whisperlike. + +But this (for a few minutes longer) is a symbolic day. Today is Self-Injury Awareness Day. It is also the anniversary of my first learning about self-harm. That day, I unwittingly grew a little more aware of the darkness that eats at the world. Until then, I never knew people could find the self loathing to harm themselves. + +A simple heart inscribed in midnight black ink on a lover’s skin. An innocuous question heralding a world-shattering answer. Eyes forever opened to self-inflicted pain. + +This is something I never thought I’d be able to talk about publicly — the people that already know can be counted on one hand. + +I never thought I could look my father, my best friend, my sister or anyone close to me in the eye and tell them this. For fear of what they might think. How they might react. + +Note: if you are close to me, please do not be surprised if I don’t want to talj + +Indeed, I still *can’t*. So I’m sharing this with them, and the world, the only way I really know how. The written word. + +Regardless, this is something I **have to** tell — consequences be damned. I push my fears aside at last in the hope this might help someone, anyone. That’s all I can hope for. + +*Second warning — next part is graphic* + +I somehow never cut deep enough to leave physical scars. + +But I’ll still carry the echoes with me for the rest of my life. + +I understand. + +I understand the all consuming self loathing. + +I understand the momentary relief. + +I understand the shame, the fear. + +I understand and I hope you ***never*** truly do. + +My daemons did not feel evil. They felt…not like friends exactly…but familiar. + +That was enough for me to give in. + +In case that wasn’t clear — I self harmed. I took a blade and slashed at my own skin. Took twisted joy in making myself bleed. + +Harmed. **Past tense.** I’ve escaped the darkness now. Silenced my daemons. + +But there will always be that occasional whisper. Past, but never forgotten. Impossible to forget. + +Self harm is far more common than many people realise. Many people do not know of it at all. + +This has to change. People must know. + +Knowing that it happens isn’t enough. Based off my own experience, here’s a little bit about *why*… + +Self-harm is a coping method for other problems. An utterly self destructive one but also strangely addictive. For myself the root cause was a penetrating feeling of failure caused by consistently being unable to prevent others harming. I can now see that there was nothing I could have done. I had no hope of seeing that at the time. + +Worse, it is often a feedback loop. For myself — as twisted as this is — I never felt I was doing it ‘properly’. Whatever properly is. That fueled the gleeful roaring flame of loathing. + +Hopefully, now you understand a little more. Hopefully, now — you share my desire to help. But I don’t know how to help, not really. Because there is no magic bullet. There sure as hell wasn’t for me — I just sort of…stopped, one day. + +All I can say is this… + +Be kind. Be compassionate. Heal, do not hurt. + +Easier said than done, I know. Certainly something I am still very much working on myself. But here’s one step everyone should take: + +Do not, **do not ever**, romanticise or trivialise suicide, self harm, or mental issues as a whole. It’s a deeply toxic behaviour that I find wholly inexcusable. + +General attitude towards mental health **has** to change. Period. + +I’m sharing my story in the hope it will contribute to that. To the recognition of mental disorder being just as serious as the physical. + +*I don’t want to live in a world where people hate themselves. Do you?* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-02-thank-you-for-your-words--it-was-not-easy--but-it-was-worth-it.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-02-thank-you-for-your-words--it-was-not-easy--but-it-was-worth-it.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..aaf8fce --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-02-thank-you-for-your-words--it-was-not-easy--but-it-was-worth-it.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Thank you for your words. It was not easy, but it was worth it." +date: 2018-03-02 +--- + + Thank you for your words. It was not easy, but it was worth it. + +And yes, all too damn familiar. Something has to change. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-11-allow-me-to-take-a-stab.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-11-allow-me-to-take-a-stab.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..188e9de --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-11-allow-me-to-take-a-stab.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,17 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Allow me to take a stab…" +date: 2018-03-11 +--- + + Allow me to take a stab… + +The problem here is Gmail. Goddamn Gmail as point of contact for a ‘privacy advocate’. Seriously? Email is fundamentally insecure & Gmail is even *worse* because Google has openly admitted to scanning all mail going through its servers. C’mon. + +And therefore it follows that the title ‘Bliss’ is intended to invoke the phrase ‘Ignorance is bliss’. Hanlon’s Razor and all that. + +Now, am I right or am I right?!?[1] + +[1] Either I got it in one or missed the mark by a laughable amount. I wouldn’t bet on either. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-12-funnily-enough--you-blurring-out-the-picture-and-what-have-you-caused-me-to-completely-miss-its.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-12-funnily-enough--you-blurring-out-the-picture-and-what-have-you-caused-me-to-completely-miss-its.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5e93b22 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-12-funnily-enough--you-blurring-out-the-picture-and-what-have-you-caused-me-to-completely-miss-its.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Funnily enough, you blurring out the picture and what have you caused me to completely miss its…" +date: 2018-03-12 +--- + + Funnily enough, you blurring out the picture and what have you caused me to completely miss its significance. + +Though, now that you mention it — I’d say that privacy in terms of restricting what information you *give out *and privacy in terms of ensuring private stuff *stays* private is a little different. If that makes any sense…I hope it does? + +Not that this exemplar person is taking precautions against either of the above, if indeed they *aren’t* exactly the same thing in different hats… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-12-you-re-only-now-starting-a-riot--i-thought-you-already-had.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-12-you-re-only-now-starting-a-riot--i-thought-you-already-had.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..579e546 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-12-you-re-only-now-starting-a-riot--i-thought-you-already-had.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "You’re only now starting a riot? I thought you already had!" +date: 2018-03-12 +--- + + You’re only now starting a riot? I thought you already *had!* + +I await the results of such a decision with an indistinct mixture of anticipation and fear.[1] + +[1] There’s probably a German word for that, but my mind *definitely*[2] won’t deliver on that one. + +[2] Trust my mouth (fingers) to be writing cheques my brain can’t cash. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-13-dang--ain-t-that-the-truth.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-13-dang--ain-t-that-the-truth.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..585d147 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-13-dang--ain-t-that-the-truth.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,39 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Dang, ain’t that the truth." +date: 2018-03-13 +--- + + Dang, ain’t that the truth. + +Now that you bring it up…if I could…I’d refuse this world[1] and ask for my money back! + +Hang on, I’m supposed to be experimenting with being more positive…or something…let’s see… + +I **DO **refuse to inherit this Earth and the associated shit. Since I can’t return it or the humans to the manufacturer[4] for repair, I shall have to see what I can do by myself.** Something has to give.** + +Failing that[5] I shall at least fight for and exercise my right to party! + +Speaking of party…cammos and combat drugs…damn. That really sounds like just our scene — a ton of fun *while it lasts…* + +Course, this brings me to realise I’m a lot more attuned to the Wavelength from the supposed comfort of my desk than actually seeking the Rush. I suppose the claws of addiction just haven’t fully sunk in yet…and that despite [2] I am a *bit* meek, even if loathe to admit it. + +Hmm, I was hoping that German would have a word for that mixed sort of feeling. You know, one that is essentially just the words for the component feelings shoved in a blender. + +Side note: I still have yet to watch Firefly. Criminal, I know. I do very much *intend* to watch it, if that makes it any better.[7] + +[1] Not that I’m *meek[2]— *more that I am young enough[3] to be considered ‘The Next Generation’ + +[2] Fuck *that* + +[3] *Barely* + +[4] The logistics of that would be a *nightmare — *not to mention difficulty figuring out the return addresses… + +[5] Which seems overwhelmingly likely[6] + +[6] Whoops, there comes the cynicism, inevitable as always… + +[7] It doesn’t, does it… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-13-growing-up-may-be-optional--but-resorting-to-it-temporarily-sometimes-becomes-the-only-option.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-13-growing-up-may-be-optional--but-resorting-to-it-temporarily-sometimes-becomes-the-only-option.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9639277 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-13-growing-up-may-be-optional--but-resorting-to-it-temporarily-sometimes-becomes-the-only-option.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,21 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Growing up may be optional, but resorting to it temporarily sometimes becomes the only option." +date: 2018-03-13 +--- + + Growing up may be optional, but resorting to it temporarily sometimes becomes the only option. Unfortunately. + +I too need to make arrangements to be Out Of Here and sooner rather than later. Not only is it all going to hell, but frankly I’m sick of it already. Think I always have been, to a degree. + +It follows that the 2018 scene is likely to be *even *harder/darker/faster which is just fine with me. However, I doubt that 2028 will be as simple — in my historically unqualified opinion mind. Because there comes a point where all these ‘er’s hit critical mass. Dark becomes grimdark, if you know the reference. Hits ‘max dark’ and comes right out the *other side* with comical self awareness bolted on, if you don’t. + +And that, it happens, is *just* my scene. So I’m either quite ahead of the curve, or too far ahead for my own good. Or indeed, as always, could be shooting blind. Time will tell. + +Well of *course* the anti-establishment has an establishment of its own. But its *different* see… ;D + +It is about damn time for a good riot…I’ll bring the Molotovs[1]! + +[1] Whether we’ll be lighting ’em or drinking ’em is anybody’s guess + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-13-i-mean-that-s-roughly-what-i-now-have.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-13-i-mean-that-s-roughly-what-i-now-have.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..424bf36 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-13-i-mean-that-s-roughly-what-i-now-have.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I mean that’s roughly what I now have." +date: 2018-03-13 +--- + + I mean that’s roughly what I now have. My active email, a private service with a custom domain (*currently* a .com….oops again o.O) and my old Gmail, which still gets all the crap I haven’t bothered to change & therefore isn’t worth changing. I do need to stop giving the active address out quite so freely though…although really I just need to be more careful about forms in general… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-13-yeah--that-would-explain-the-considerable-difficult-in-trying-to-separate-them-in-my-head-let-alone.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-13-yeah--that-would-explain-the-considerable-difficult-in-trying-to-separate-them-in-my-head-let-alone.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c5e9555 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-13-yeah--that-would-explain-the-considerable-difficult-in-trying-to-separate-them-in-my-head-let-alone.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yeah, that would explain the considerable difficult in trying to separate them in my head let alone…" +date: 2018-03-13 +--- + + Yeah, that would explain the considerable difficult in trying to separate them in my head let alone on paper. + +Venn diagrams in three dimensions…lord! I’ll stick to being privacy conscious-*ish*[1]* *ta very much. + +[1] i.e. not being dumb enough to use Gmail (any more o.O) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-14-a-page-in-the-snow-book-by-the-frenetic-scribbler.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-14-a-page-in-the-snow-book-by-the-frenetic-scribbler.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fbd8754 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-14-a-page-in-the-snow-book-by-the-frenetic-scribbler.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,20 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "A page in the Snow Book by the Frenetic Scribbler" +date: 2018-03-14 +--- + + ![](/img/1*M25I31Lg7HDEWsP1FXanCg.jpeg)[Credit: https://medium.com/@shneider2010](https://medium.com/@shneider2010)Snow reduces even as its drifts piles up. It shaves everything down to* white*…and **black:** + +*Crisp white blanket* / **Crushing icy shroud** + +*Soothing snow* / **Freezing snow** + +*Smooth, a blank canvas* / **Featureless, a sterile waste** + +*A softening silence* / **A stillborn silence** + +*Enduring like love despite* / **Fleeting like life’s gasp** + +[**Snow Book (Книга Снега)…** +*Writing Prompt Inspired By Michail Shneider’s Photographs*medium.com](https://medium.com/@GoatGoat/snow-book-%D0%BA%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B3%D0%B0-%D1%81%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%B3%D0%B0-178734c199c5 "https://medium.com/@GoatGoat/snow-book-%D0%BA%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B3%D0%B0-%D1%81%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%B3%D0%B0-178734c199c5")[](https://medium.com/@GoatGoat/snow-book-%D0%BA%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B3%D0%B0-%D1%81%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%B3%D0%B0-178734c199c5) \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-14-as-i-ve-said-before-i-do-appreciate-the-company-of-another-on-the-wavelength.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-14-as-i-ve-said-before-i-do-appreciate-the-company-of-another-on-the-wavelength.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f1ca518 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-14-as-i-ve-said-before-i-do-appreciate-the-company-of-another-on-the-wavelength.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,17 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "As I’ve said before I do appreciate the company of another on the Wavelength." +date: 2018-03-14 +--- + + As I’ve said before I do appreciate the company of another on the Wavelength. A wavelength I hardly realised I was on until I bumped into you and had to assure *you* I wasn’t ***you***.[1] For that and my infection of footnotes, I have you[2] to thank. + +So in lieu of being able to send you one through the magic of the Internet, let me write you an IOU for a pint and a pizza should our wakes of destruction ever happen to cross for real. Small world, after all! + +[1] Or indeed, *her*. + +[2] And Sir Terry[3] + +[3] GNU STP + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-14-yep--done-that.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-14-yep--done-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..016d347 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-14-yep--done-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yep, done that." +date: 2018-03-14 +--- + + Yep, done that. More times than I’d like to admit. I’ve also left the oven on overnight before (lit, fortunately…) + +I’m yet to do it at work, but only because they have precautions against that sort of thing! + +Was going to drop this in a private note but can’t on mobile — ah well. I have a sudden urge to RandomActsOfPizza you. Though unfortunately I have a feeling you’ll decline on the basis of privacy, which is fair enough. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-16-all--i-do-hope-you-mean-all-of-society--instead-of-just--all.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-16-all--i-do-hope-you-mean-all-of-society--instead-of-just--all.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e28f5a7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-16-all--i-do-hope-you-mean-all-of-society--instead-of-just--all.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "All? I do hope you mean all of society, instead of just ‘all’." +date: 2018-03-16 +--- + + All? I do hope you mean all of society, instead of just ‘all’. Much as I am a cynic, I still think *some* things are worth living for… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-16-hah--abstention-is-better-than-protection--as-they-never-1--said.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-16-hah--abstention-is-better-than-protection--as-they-never-1--said.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7db258f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-16-hah--abstention-is-better-than-protection--as-they-never-1--said.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "HAH! Abstention is better than protection, as they never[1] said!" +date: 2018-03-16 +--- + + HAH! Abstention is better than protection, as they never[1] said! + +[1] Unless they were Catholic.[2][3] + +[2] Or American[3] + +[3] Or are they just old wives tale to scare the children with? You know, like the French… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-16-i-opt-out--too.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-16-i-opt-out--too.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4334669 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-16-i-opt-out--too.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,72 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I opt out, too" +date: 2018-03-16 +--- + + #### “I opt out of all of the bullshit I never signed up for to begin with.” + +![](/img/1*RO-tbOgBBK6ksl1w6NXbKg.jpeg)Photo by [Hans Eiskonen](https://unsplash.com/photos/qTxwKHZwl6M?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/stop?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Get up. + +Go to work. + +Go home. + +Sleep. + +Repeat. + +Such a life is one of survival, not living. Maybe some real living is squeezed in around the edges. + +A snatch of meaningful human interaction on the occasional evening — here. + +A weekend away — there. + +A long holiday — once in a while. + +Scraps of life paid for by the cremation of time **nobody** can afford to waste. + +Yet we have to. + +Or *do* we? + +[**I Opt Out** +*From this very moment forward I no longer subscribe — to your priorities, principles and pointless pursuits. I opt out…*medium.com](https://medium.com/geezer-speaks/i-opt-out-ee3b693c5bf3 "https://medium.com/geezer-speaks/i-opt-out-ee3b693c5bf3")[](https://medium.com/geezer-speaks/i-opt-out-ee3b693c5bf3)I say get *up*. I say, **wake up**. + +I say *fuck that *to all of the above. + +Fuck that to a life that isn’t. + +To a day on repeat, for all of my horribly short existence. + +Fuck that to working just to survive. + +To spending precious hours of freedom recovering from the very work that provides for. + +Fuck that to Modern Society. + +To all its materialism, celebrity ‘news’ the only ‘light’ in the mill of hate and fear. + +Fuck that to being told how to live. + +To being told to live an *un*life. + +I’ve always festered this idea, of breaking free. I never quite subscribed. Never quite fit in, because I didn’t like being told what to do. But was afraid to stand out. I still am, but my eyes are opening to the fact freedom is worth it. + +Even still, it will be a lifetime’s work. But that’s a worthy cause — better than an *un*lifetime’s work at *any* rate. + +Starting today, I will not like or dislike something on the whims of someone else. + +Starting today, I will do my level best to disregard social norms. + +Starting today, I will be the spanner in the gears of civilisation. + +Starting today, I will not let anyone tell me how I should live. + +Starting today, I consciously hit *‘unsubscribe’*** **on Society. + +I know [Brian Brewington](https://medium.com/u/b0f2a24f7463) is with me. I know that [Where Angels Fear](https://medium.com/u/6c8bcd0d1a65) will be glad of the riot. I know that [Gaëlane](https://medium.com/u/e3ddbb5fdbd5) has the hang of this already. Regardless…are *you *with me? + +Are you ready to ***live?*** + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-16-was-pretty-sure-that-was-what-you-were-going-for.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-16-was-pretty-sure-that-was-what-you-were-going-for.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3533d76 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-16-was-pretty-sure-that-was-what-you-were-going-for.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Was pretty sure that was what you were going for." +date: 2018-03-16 +--- + + Was pretty sure that was what you were going for. But my Inner Cynic required clarification, as it generally does… + +Now that’s out of the way… + +Let’s get on with the riot! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-16-what--that-s-all-spelt-right--wait-oh.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-16-what--that-s-all-spelt-right--wait-oh.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4f57c16 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-16-what--that-s-all-spelt-right--wait-oh.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "What? That’s all spelt right? Wait…oh…" +date: 2018-03-16 +--- + + What? That’s all spelt right? Wait…oh… + +*Oh* + +Isn’t that a Germanic word anyway? *searches* Oh. Apparently quite Continental indeed… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-17-ten-track-mind--dangerous-when-focused.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-17-ten-track-mind--dangerous-when-focused.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f238dca --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-17-ten-track-mind--dangerous-when-focused.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,49 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Ten track mind, dangerous when focused" +date: 2018-03-17 +--- + + #### Wanderings of a currently diffuse consciousness + +![](/img/1*ua4EiwJkYsq7uY6kVn6rZw.jpeg)Photo by [Todd Diemer](https://unsplash.com/photos/0wdPEt-ufqs?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/split-train?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)To paraphrase [Where Angels Fear](https://medium.com/u/6c8bcd0d1a65)[1]: ‘I don’t get the hype over multitasking - you mean there are people who *don’t* think about ten things at once?’ + +My mind is exactly the same. I never stop thinking. About everything and nothing and all in between. And sometimes it feels like I’m thinking about it all at once. + +The way I think is naturally reflected in life. I am, by nature, a jack of all trades and master of none. A butterfly, always seeking new things. Sometimes even returning to them. + +And so like many things in my life — and in Life at large — it is a blessing and a curse.[4] Beside my butterfly nature, getting my brain to shut down is always a fight. + +Sometimes a fight I lose. Occasionally bordering on often I get hit with an idea that has to get out or it will dissolve. Like this article. + +How I think is something I plan to explore in more depth in the near future. But it’s not the point of this article… + +For someone used to thinking about a thousand things at once… + +For someone used to an incessant background clamour of ideas… + +For someone used to the inescapable company of their own mind and its myriad facets… + +**Thinking about *only one thing* is (near enough literally) *mind-blowing.*** + +For a ten track mind, the opportunity to enjoy the nuance of just one song — less the infuriating interference of the others played simultaneously — is unmissable. + +It is dangerous, too. The relative peace of a solitary focus becomes addictive. + +Though that’s not dangerous, not inherently. + +The danger lies in wait where that focus isn’t something but some*one*. + +It by nature encourages you to become dependent on that someone who is more than someone. Both mind and heart. Splits you wide. Vulnerable. + +On that note, I am interested as to if WAR had the same or similar experience with *Her*. Or maybe it is just me… + +[1] I commit paraphrasing only since he is so productive[2] that I can’t for the life of me find where he mentioned it… + +[2] I’m not sure if productive is the right word[3] Maybe prolific… perhaps *excessive* + +[3] I actually get the feeling WAR might be quite* offended* by it! + +[4] A blessing and a curse is a double edged sword, and a great deal of swords are indeed double edged…I find that poetic though it may just be me being too clever by half + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-18-duh--didn-t-think-to-look-at-my-highlights-to-see-that-i-d-saved-the-phrase-in-question.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-18-duh--didn-t-think-to-look-at-my-highlights-to-see-that-i-d-saved-the-phrase-in-question.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..53ab63b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-18-duh--didn-t-think-to-look-at-my-highlights-to-see-that-i-d-saved-the-phrase-in-question.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,48 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Duh, didn’t think to look at my Highlights to see that I’d saved the phrase in question.." +date: 2018-03-18 +--- + + Duh, didn’t think to look at my Highlights to see that I’d saved the phrase in question.. + +Prolific indeed. And excessive is quite fitting — for various reasons as you say. + + +> As for your musing here in general, obviously I can’t comment upon WAR/*Her* … they are *your* characters/protagonists/avatars/alter egos/whatever …DUH. WAR should have been WAF….lazy/tired shorthand for Where Angels Fear. This is what I get for writing in the twilight between waking and rest. + +And by *Her *I was referring to the *Her *that you were initially concerned I might be, when we first talked. *Your* ***Her***, not *my ****Her***, so to say. + + +> But I think you are correct about the dangers of making someone ‘the centre of our universe’, as it were.Very very well put. And it provides significant context for the events that spawned this particular post. The idea of a deliberate reflection of myself in particular. Explains rather a lot, and seems rather obvious now you set it out for me! + + +> If you want to shut your mind up then there are many ways to do soI don’t think I have it quite as bad as you. Often I can filter out all the unnecessary thought. But its certainly nice to have true peace once in a while! + + +> Exercise is a good oneYep. I find boxing a vital outlet — though probably not the most ideal it is certainly better than drugs or worse. A good way to achieve the noted physical exhaustion that also brings the mental exhaustion we seek. + +Or, of course, there’s always motorcycling… + +I didn’t realise how much motorcycling contributed to my mental wellbeing until I’ve been without a bike for going on a month now. I’m ragged around the edges and it’s starting to *show…* + + +> I started to disappear in a way that my conscious mind knew meant I would not be coming back afterwardsThat sounds *fucking terrifying*, to put it mildly! + + +> Music can be a great thing to get lost inYep…putting one song on repeat is something I use when I’m feeling emotionally overwhelmed.[1] + + +> instrumental material that isn’t just poetry sung over music; the more complex it is the better and a knowledge and appreciation of formal musical structure and construction helps enormously hereThis, I haven’t quite got the hang of — although I often pay more attention to background instrumentals than lyrics. Either way, certainly sounds worth a try.. + + +> …curiously liberating experience in that I was no longer responsible for it and didn’t need to concern myself with it…Now that sounds like meditation to me. Sounds like what you eloquently described in [5] a bit too. Of course, I’ve never managed it *either*, so I don’t know… + +It also sounds intriguing. But I don’t know the first thing about construction and structure…hmm… + + +> [1] [Kris Gage](https://medium.com/u/67d9cdce33af) has a lot of sensible …Yes, I *know*. If my memory isn’t up to its usual tricks, we ran into each other in the Responses section of one of her posts! + +[1] Which is any time I feel strong emotion of any sort :/ Working on that…kinda + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-19-it-certainly-seems-that-way--such-is-life-on-the-wavelength.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-19-it-certainly-seems-that-way--such-is-life-on-the-wavelength.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..379ea4a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-19-it-certainly-seems-that-way--such-is-life-on-the-wavelength.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,72 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "It certainly seems that way. Such is life on the Wavelength…" +date: 2018-03-19 +--- + + +> I suspect we have both had much the same experience for much the same reason(s).It certainly seems that way. Such is life on the Wavelength… + + +> Naturally, I was dismissive of his doom-saying *vis a vis* not being in one’s right mind when first in LoveOh yeah. I’ve learnt plenty of lessons in this respect, and I am glad — in a way — to have learnt them this early. *But *induced blindness seems to make me forget them at the times I most need to remember them…Love is a truly curs*ed* thing! + + +> And he said simply “Not you … her.”Yeah, at the time, that didn’t cross my mind either… + + +> After all … if she weren’t perfect … if I weren’t ‘marrying *up*’ as it were, by getting involved with a superior being … well …Interesting thought… + + +> *Whoever* she is, she may not be a predator … she may just not be all either of you hope she is *either* — may be guilty of the same mistakes as you and I.And yet, now her mind crosses *my *mind more often than is ideal. Because I don’t *know…* + +I don’t know if what we had (what I thought we had) was ever real to her. And I can’t ever know… + +But considering her track record[1] and some of her parting words (that are acid-etched into my brain) I’m inclined to say she was decidedly less than innocent. If not straight up manipulative. + +But I don’t know, and I never will. Even if I were to ask…what’s that saying about trust…ah yes… + +*Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.* + +I’m incapable of trusting *Her* ever again. Not that that should need to matter. + +I should be able to let this go, but I *can’t*. + + +> But, yes … watch out for the predators first and foremost … the basket cases too — the former will harm you … the latter hurt you.Ah yes, so true. My first was a basket case[2] and the second was *Her*. Not new behaviour for either, yet both times nobody warned poor blind me until it it had all blown up in my face. + +Not so much a formative experience as a *re*formative experience. For better or worse I’m not who I was, anymore. Leaning (by a hairline) towards better so *far*… + + +> be aware of it out of the corner of my eye whilst I focus on what’s ahead of me.That’s a better way of describing what I meant when I said filter. + + +> “either one or both of us can come out of this in one piece; either way around though, **I** won’t stop until *you* do — so, it’s up to you … *how* hard do you want to make this on both of us?”Hah, well said! There’s value in a little (lot) of stubbornness, carefully applied. + + +> As much as anything else, it’s a highly physical activity.Highly physical, insanely mental[3]. Just perfect for the high-caliber distraction purposes. + + +> You too, hunh?Absolutely. After a while, it ceases to be about the song and more about the repetition. As a side effect of this the chosen music becomes irrevocably associated with the emotion. + +As a result, I *cannot *listen to Wrong Side of Heaven by 5FDP. The opening notes are enough to give me shivers. + +Set Me on Fire by Flyleaf has a similar effect. It’s arrival in my ears just as my train pulled out over the sun-bathed Tay — and away from my last lost love —caused me to break down. In *public*. The ***horror***. But I could do naught else but lose myself, marveling at the irony of the lyrics set against my current situation.[4] + + +> I could go into a long, florid diatribe about ‘songs’, but I won’t ; )Right, right, because ‘songs’ implies lyrics. My mistake! + + +> Naturally, it’s that much easier if you like electronic forms or … Heaven forfend … Classical [1].I love drums or electric guitar in particular, which helps. They’re both instruments I’d love to play myself, if I had an ounce of musical talent. + + +> Once it’s second nature to do that then more complex material is, unsurprisingly, even more rewarding.Useful advice, thank you. + +[1] An illustrious history of pain despite the tender age of seventeen. Impressive, in a way. + +[2] Though aren’t they all, to a degree? + +[3] In every sense of that! + +[4] If there is a God he has a nasty sense of humour (and would have to be a micromanaging prick to boot but that’s beside the point) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-19-oh-now-i-wouldn-t-call-them-famous---and-i-have-no-desire-for-them-to-be.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-19-oh-now-i-wouldn-t-call-them-famous---and-i-have-no-desire-for-them-to-be.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8dc0c11 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-19-oh-now-i-wouldn-t-call-them-famous---and-i-have-no-desire-for-them-to-be.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,67 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Oh now I wouldn’t call them famous — and I have no desire for them to be." +date: 2018-03-19 +--- + + +> I fear it is one of your famous double-edged swords.Oh now I wouldn’t call them *famous — *and I have no desire for them to be. Notoriety has a far better ring ;D + +More to the point, yes. Yes I think it very much is. + + +> It doesn’t make it hurt any the less but it does mean you stop beating yourself up quite so much.Yeah…kinda. I am glad to have learnt the lessons that I have, and I fully expect to learn more in hindsight. + +My total lack of visual recall that fuels my poor recall in general helps here. I cannot cling onto and beat myself up over that which I cannot remember. + +BUT + +I can’t very well learn any lessons from it either.[1] And it doesn’t quell the endless tide of *‘What if’. *It’s not so much what happened that hurts. I can accept that and move on from it. It is in not knowing — what she thought, truly believed and what could have been — where the pain lies. + +THAT SAID + +Asking ‘what if’ always hurts. No masochistic pleasure to be found, either. Just confusion and *Weltschmerz.* + +So there’s no real point in it… + + +> “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you *react* to it” +> most of the time there is a riotMaybe that’s why we have a compulsion to start a riot…because it isn’t so much starting as *letting out*… + + +> and I have to scramble to get things down somewhere before lose them completely.I know that feeling all too well. Who knows how many ideas are lost to the buzz of distraction…or indeed the nullspace I call memory. + + +> I’ve nearly killed myself a few times as a result though.I guess that’s the difference between stubborn and bull-headed. Knowing when to yield. Not that I have that one figured out, mind… + + +> Well, they must be to like the likes of us in the first place, no? ; )Well of course, since we are both *perfectly* *sane*. The alternative is too *in*sane to even contemplate…! + + +> That’s a way of looking at it — quite a bit darker even than my own perspective — and I’m not exactly known for my cheery disposition, am I!?Well yeah, I suppose it is quite dark, in hindsight. But still, to me it’s just realism[2] The one Universal truth is that *Shit Happens.* + +Most of the time it looks like chaos doing what it does best…rioting. + +But the occasions that it seems organised… + +It seems downright malevolent, more often than not. + +Of course it’s *probably* just chaos… + +But if there *is* a God I very much wouldn’t like to meet it, thank you very much. + +Besides that, it’s all rolling fields, sunshine and rainbows![5] + +[1] There I go again with my swords… + +[2] Not pessimism, that would be seeing the world as darker than it is[3][6] + +[3] Which would be quite the feat, all things considered.[4][6] + +[4] And also probably enough to make one give up hope instantaneously…[6] + +[5] And cowshit. Because where there is a field, there is inevitably cowshit. Gotta be something to do with quantum entanglement.[6] + +[6] You know, reading all that, it is entirely possible my worldview has gone from dark to *grim*dark. Blacker than black — a concept so ridiculous it’s almost funny. That’s the essence of grimdark after all — a whole lot of shit with a dose of gallows humour bolted on. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-20-here-s-to-the-twilight-times.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-20-here-s-to-the-twilight-times.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..48ef2c9 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-20-here-s-to-the-twilight-times.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,35 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Here’s to the twilight times" +date: 2018-03-20 +--- + + ![](/img/1*gOXPMNusZEjRIFOr_ORqCw.jpeg)Photo by [Max Langelott](https://unsplash.com/photos/Hw62tzAkXXE?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/autumn?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Many people love the summer. It’s heat and relaxation. + +I’m not one of them. The heat melts my brain thoroughly. I find myself unable to think, let alone do. Which is all well and good on holiday, but otherwise a pain. And *dear* *god* the hayfever from all of these goddamn plants. Cluttering up the place looking pretty and producing lifegiving oxygen…how dare they! + +Some people love winter. Crisp cold, and crisper snow. + +I’m not one of them. As someone who is not a patient traveller — if I have a destination in mind I like to be there quickly[1] — snow is irritating to infuriating. Plus it stops me from getting astride my motorcycle, and anything that does that *cannot* be good. + +And the cold. The cold seeps into my bones and I feel like I’m never warm all winter long.[2] + +So sod summer. And sod winter. + +Here’s to the twilight times. The springs, and the autumns. + +Spring is the thawing of the world. Fields of green rising from the frozen waste, phoenix-like. + +Autumn is the herald of winter. And herald it does, with sharp fireblossom colours of dying leaves that so sharply contrast the bleak white snows to come. + +Unlike Winter and Summer, Spring and Autumn have more in common than not. They are the blurred lines. A fading transition drawn out over months. Between Cold Dark and Bright Fire. + +Best of all, they don’t overstay their welcome. + +[1] If I don’t, that’s another matter entirely. Not all who wander are lost. + +[2] This may have something to do with having not heating at home for the past several years. Why? Because it isn’t quite cold enough for it to really *need[3] *to be fixed. Certainly cold enough to make me damn grumpy, though! + +[3] Need as in…if you don’t fix it you’re going to actually *freeze* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-24-damn-kris.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-24-damn-kris.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2049b02 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-24-damn-kris.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,23 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Damn Kris." +date: 2018-03-24 +--- + + Damn Kris. Over and over again my reaction to your stuff is “Yep, me too”…but also “Well said!”. Half the time I didn’t realise I agreed until I did, too.[1] + +I’ve had the same experience as you, actually[2]. Always worn my hair long[3] mostly because I could never be bothered to get it cut. Neon green been and gone later[4], went practically high and tight on my last cut[5] and I really do love it. + +Here’s to hair we don’t have to care about…unless we (for some reason) want to! + +[1] If that makes any sense… + +[2] If, by nature, less extreme — what with being a dude + +[3] But not ‘manbun’ long because *fuck that noise* + +[4] Story for another time + +[5] Not by free choice, but that’s *another* another story + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-28-finding-your-voice.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-28-finding-your-voice.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..14b8d3d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-28-finding-your-voice.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,49 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Finding your voice" +date: 2018-03-28 +--- + + #### Yours and only yours to claim… + +![](/img/1*ZFBkRUl5Z01iCAmXiEcdcA.jpeg)Photo by [Vince Fleming](https://unsplash.com/photos/afrNpD1wKZU?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/yell?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I haven’t found my voice. I have, however, found *more of* it. + +I don’t often look back at my previous work. Partly because when I do all I see is flaws[1] but also because my views have changed so much. For a variety of reasons[4], my world has opened up in the past couple years. + +It’s more than that, though. My eyes haven’t just opened, so has my mouth. I’ve found a voice I never knew I had. Because now that I’ve found it I know that I’ve always had it. Buried, somewhere. + +I’m still finding it. My writing style is evolving with every piece I write. Most recently and most prominently is my mild-major obsession with footnotes. But also a half-conscious attempt to use less needlessly complex vocabulary.[5] After all, it is no good saying something if you can’t be understood… + +Medium has been a vital catalyst for that change, and I hope it continues to do so. And maybe one of these days I’ll get back to working on my novel[6] + +The point of my waxing lyrical about beginning to find my voice? + +An attempt to inspire you to do the same. + +Many of you here on Medium have already done so. + +But just as many, if not more, are just like me. In the process of finding their voice.[7] + +My voice which is mine and mine alone. + +Their voice that is theirs and theirs alone. + +Your voice which is yours alone. + +Speak out. Speak your mind. Nobody else will, because nobody else **can**. + +[1] This seems endemic to creative types[2] I wonder if there is a name for it…[3] + +[2] Hell, I still feel awkward labeling myself a ‘creative type’ and only do so because it seems technically correct. That and I’m increasingly discovering I’m not as much ‘logic type’ as previously thought. + +[3] ‘Being Human’, maybe… + +[4] A long and winding tale, filled with intrigue and deception. Glammed up and rammed into a sci-fi setting I could almost see myself writing it into a novel…I truly have been cursed to live in interesting times! + +[5] And just generally trying to take writing (and Life) just a little less bloody seriously! + +[6] That thing is perhaps the epitome of my changing voice — reading beginning to end is also reading chronologically across two years of my evolving style. Quite a ride…hence the heavy editing required! + +[7] Maybe we all are, always. Maybe those that look to me like they’ve found their voice have just honed the craft of finding it. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-28-probably-more-aseasonal-i-e--as-far-as-i-m-concerned-it-can-all-sod-off.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-28-probably-more-aseasonal-i-e--as-far-as-i-m-concerned-it-can-all-sod-off.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9b39efd --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-28-probably-more-aseasonal-i-e--as-far-as-i-m-concerned-it-can-all-sod-off.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Probably more aseasonal i.e. as far as I’m concerned it can all sod off." +date: 2018-03-28 +--- + + Probably more *a*seasonal i.e. as far as I’m concerned it can all sod off. + +It’s not that I don’t like seasons, or indeed their weather. I *love* weather, especially a good thunderstorm or blizzard. Just not when I’m trying to get to work, thank you very much! + +Damn seasons, always getting under my feet… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-29-then-i-await-that-moment-with-interest.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-29-then-i-await-that-moment-with-interest.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..663c0b2 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-29-then-i-await-that-moment-with-interest.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,39 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Then I await that moment with…interest." +date: 2018-03-29 +--- + + +> Whether it does it when it thinks you can handle it or waits until an opportune moment to destroy you, I couldn’t say, however — it’s never a *pleasant* experience either way around though.Then I await that moment with…interest. + + +> “You again? No, I’m busy and, besides, I just don’t care enough any more.”Yeah. I’ve beaten it back so apart from the twinges I have to be actively putting myself through ‘What if’ torture for it to get at me. + +That’s not entirely helpful, however, when I’m all too prone to ‘What if’ to begin with. + + +> It’s only fair.Damn right. Don’t take shit, and whatever they manage to force onto you, Return To Sender (With Extreme Prejudice). Or something like that…it’s a bit clunky for a war…er *riot*cry. + + +> We all eventually learn our limits or kill ourselves overstepping them.Apart from *You, *apparently ;D + + +> Opposites attract — which is why they’re so utterly insane ; DThat makes perfect sense! + + +> I did (but that’s another story for another time and place).o.O + +Yeah. I really don’t. And God-willing, I won’t… + +Hang on… + + +> Yup … much further and you’ll find yourself back out the other side.Yep. Unsure as it to I should keep drilling down or try and climb back out. Down is probably faster at this point (isn’t it always?) + + +> Well, theoretically anyway — personally, think that’s nonsense and no matter how dark it gets what you gotta remember is that it’s always darkest just before it goes pitch black.Bugger. Maybe I should have tried the ladder option! + +Damn. Well, might as well make a damn good show of it. Wouldn’t want to half ass anything, even being beatdown by Life and her good buddies Hope and Melancholy… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-03-31-the-key-to-immortality.markdown b/_posts/2018-03-31-the-key-to-immortality.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1b2e016 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-03-31-the-key-to-immortality.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,37 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "The Key to Immortality" +date: 2018-03-31 +--- + + #### Perpetuation from a shattering? + +![](/img/1*E-_3L9RFYDCe9wIS4mQfvA.jpeg)Photo by [Vincent Foret](https://unsplash.com/photos/3S_nePubrtw?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/broken?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)A broken heart never quite + +heals + +A broken heart never quite + +forgets + +A broken heart never quite + +lets go + +Lets go of the + +soul that broke it + +A heartbreaker lives on + +in the souls they dismantled + +And one that breaks a thousand hearts + +never dies + +Twist of fate? + +Just Life + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-01--a-mind-without-purpose-will-wander-in-dark-places.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-01--a-mind-without-purpose-will-wander-in-dark-places.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e3b5669 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-01--a-mind-without-purpose-will-wander-in-dark-places.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "“A mind without purpose will wander in dark places”" +date: 2018-04-01 +--- + + *“A mind without purpose will wander in dark places”* + +And when one *starts out *in a dark place*…* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-01-from-my-current-predicament--i-m-inclined-to-say-vintage-motorcycles.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-01-from-my-current-predicament--i-m-inclined-to-say-vintage-motorcycles.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..45a7388 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-01-from-my-current-predicament--i-m-inclined-to-say-vintage-motorcycles.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,21 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "From my current predicament, I’m inclined to say vintage motorcycles." +date: 2018-04-01 +--- + + From my current predicament, I’m inclined to say vintage motorcycles. Nah, that’s mostly me not doing due diligence. Though in that vein, motorcycle helmets would be a good, albeit boring one. + +Anyway… + +I’d say underwear, but people can and *do*… + +Needles…contact lenses…coffins… + +Cigarettes. + +Governments (One democracy, lightly abused, please) + +This is harder than one might think. You’ve covered the really obvious (and really nasty) ones already… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-02-ah--missed-that-bit-of-the-article.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-02-ah--missed-that-bit-of-the-article.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cc7e578 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-02-ah--missed-that-bit-of-the-article.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Ah, missed that bit of the article." +date: 2018-04-02 +--- + + Ah, missed that bit of the article. + +Yeah, that top speed is a digit short. + +*Disclaimer*: my motorcycle is physically incapable of achieving triple digit speeds[1] — and even if it weren’t, I wouldn’t *dream *of going that fast anywhere but a strictly controlled off road environment. Obviously. + +[1] Unless you threw it out of a plane… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-02-yeah-sod-that.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-02-yeah-sod-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7c28c8d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-02-yeah-sod-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,21 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yeah sod that." +date: 2018-04-02 +--- + + Yeah sod *that*. + +Stalling on a real bike is annoying. Stalling a hoverthing could be fatal. Plus all of the things you mentioned. *Bad* idea. + +*Although*.. + +If we could wrangle them into being classed as aircraft and not as road vehicles… + +Think of the speed!! + +… + +On second thought… That’s a *Really* *Bad* *Idea*. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-03-diesel-scream--kerosene-dream.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-03-diesel-scream--kerosene-dream.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3bb8fde --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-03-diesel-scream--kerosene-dream.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,43 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Diesel scream, kerosene dream" +date: 2018-04-03 +--- + + ![](/img/1*fe25BWvAPBWbbK1Fje5-7w.jpeg)Photo by [Roland Larsson](https://unsplash.com/photos/wnckwrtK_Ns?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/explosion?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)**Fuel** — liquidated corpse energy + +**Air** — animator of life and flame alike + +**Metal** — precisely machined + +**Spark** — bright and fierce + +In union just *so*, these things make magic. + +Cold metal cradles, oddly nurturing. + +Fuel rushes excitedly to meet its fate in flame. + +Air roars in to join it. + +A suicidal mixture aching to explode. + +*Click*. + +Fleeting spark, tiny supernova. + +*Then, explosion.* + +White heat, blazing light and crackling roar. Ricochet expansion. + +Awaiting piston slammed back. Gunshot crack like snapped bone. + +Raw fury leashed and focused. By-product of feral roar. + +The flame dies as quickly as it had lived. + +A moment of peace until… + +Fuel gushes once more + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-03-i-ve-been-toying-with-the-idea-of-sharing-my-lessons-hard-learnt--though-possibly-old-hat-to-many.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-03-i-ve-been-toying-with-the-idea-of-sharing-my-lessons-hard-learnt--though-possibly-old-hat-to-many.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bfbe90d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-03-i-ve-been-toying-with-the-idea-of-sharing-my-lessons-hard-learnt--though-possibly-old-hat-to-many.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I’ve been toying with the idea of sharing my lessons hard learnt (though possibly old hat to many)" +date: 2018-04-03 +--- + + I’ve been toying with the idea of sharing my lessons hard learnt (though possibly old hat to many) + +This might be just the place to do it, if you’ll have me. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-06-hearts-can-be-thawed--they-can-be-broken.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-06-hearts-can-be-thawed--they-can-be-broken.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2262422 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-06-hearts-can-be-thawed--they-can-be-broken.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Hearts can be thawed, they can be broken." +date: 2018-04-06 +--- + + Hearts can be thawed, they can be broken. + +Daemons can be beat back, they can be broken. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-06-holy-shit--this-has-a-striking--slightly-eerie---hence-the-holy-shit--parallel-to-my-own.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-06-holy-shit--this-has-a-striking--slightly-eerie---hence-the-holy-shit--parallel-to-my-own.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0b44e23 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-06-holy-shit--this-has-a-striking--slightly-eerie---hence-the-holy-shit--parallel-to-my-own.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Holy shit, this has a striking (slightly eerie — hence the holy shit) parallel to my own…" +date: 2018-04-06 +--- + + Holy shit, this has a striking (slightly eerie — hence the holy shit) parallel to my own experience. Particularly the part about music. I’m sure its more common than it seems, but still… + +Regardless! + +Your different perspective on a similar situation is eye opening and may help me reflect and understand my own pain. Thank you. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-06-resonated-is-the-word.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-06-resonated-is-the-word.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9ad6c51 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-06-resonated-is-the-word.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Resonated is the word." +date: 2018-04-06 +--- + + Resonated is the word. Like the Universe put it in my path — as it did Her in mine and them in yours. Or perhaps I’m just seeing patterns where there aren’t, as humans are dangerously prone to. + +I’m off track, again…Er… + +I appreciate the sentiment but I’m not sure peace is what I’m looking for. I’d like shit to stay interesting, just preferably interesting in a way that *doesn’t try to murder me*. Thanks again for the catalyst. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-06-something-to-brighten-your-day.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-06-something-to-brighten-your-day.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c09c706 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-06-something-to-brighten-your-day.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Something to brighten your day" +date: 2018-04-06 +--- + + ![](/img/1*QqoS6WsjG6WSr9-BFFQhbA.jpeg)Remember, **every** relationship must end in either breakup or death. + +That’s capital-L *Life*, baby. + +*Oh dear*…I do hope you didn’t think I was being sincere with *that *soppy title. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-07-a-love-letter-to-the-infernal-combustion-engine.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-07-a-love-letter-to-the-infernal-combustion-engine.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bc8dc05 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-07-a-love-letter-to-the-infernal-combustion-engine.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,42 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "A love letter to the infernal combustion engine" +date: 2018-04-07 +--- + + #### A love letter to the infernal combustion engine + +She flew. + +Though not on wings. + +Crouched astride a gleaming machine, she flew with gasoline. + +Flew between lumbering bubbles of steel. Just so many birdcages. And one hawk soaring among them. + +They meandered to destinations unknown. While she flew, destination undetermined. Destination *unimportant*. + +![](/img/1*e39CbqcpCNOKbH-dPX6KZg.jpeg)Photo by [KEVIN CLYDE BERBANO](https://unsplash.com/photos/r4V8xg21vek?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/speed?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)She flew, and she screamed. + +She howled into the night. A fierce sound of primal anguish. Impaled with emotion. A beast of passion and turmoil, barely contained. + +The engine roared in riposte. A harsh gravelly rumble that was felt more than heard. A beast of flame and steel, barely contained. + +She screamed to vent her choked heart. + +Offered herself at the feet of the fire before she was burnt up. + +Offered herself to the grinding asphalt before she was scoured away. + +Offered herself into the fierce wind before she was blown apart. + +Screamed into the wind and rain, the fire and darkness. Screamed and let her voice be lost in the noise. Screamed in liberation from strangling feeling. + +The engine screamed with her for it knew no else. + +They screamed to live. + +[**Out Where The Desert Breaks.** +*An Engine Roars.*medium.com](https://medium.com/@scottcarnahan/out-where-the-desert-breaks-7fda7b4d8ede "https://medium.com/@scottcarnahan/out-where-the-desert-breaks-7fda7b4d8ede")[](https://medium.com/@scottcarnahan/out-where-the-desert-breaks-7fda7b4d8ede)*Originally intended to be a piece for *[*Scene and Heard*](https://medium.com/the-scene-heard)*’s ‘Highlights’ submission call. It now doesn’t know quite what it wants to be. Regardless I shall set it free.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-09---d.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-09---d.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..13659e3 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-09---d.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: ";’D" +date: 2018-04-09 +--- + + ;’D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-09-aha--you-just-gave-me-the-piece-i-was-missing-for-my-pitch.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-09-aha--you-just-gave-me-the-piece-i-was-missing-for-my-pitch.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4617b12 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-09-aha--you-just-gave-me-the-piece-i-was-missing-for-my-pitch.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,52 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Aha! You just gave me the piece I was missing for my pitch…" +date: 2018-04-09 +--- + + Aha! You just gave me the piece I was missing for my pitch… + +So allow *me*… + +### Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Know + +#### Carpe Bollox! Seize life by the dangling bits… You know it deserves it. + +Advice on Life. Advice on Danger. Advice on *Living dangerously*! + +A publication to broadcast The Wavelength. + +A publication teaching where angels fear to tread (and…why they fear to fly.) + +A publication with no holds barred. + +One to chan..no, *replace* the Game. + +In short, though…Life from a different angle — of unpleasant reality. But also with dealing with that & its baggage. + +Maybe you’ll say “why would I want to maintain a publication”, or even “why…with *him*”[1]. Otherwise maybe you’ll say, “I’ve got no time for *that*!”. + +All too true. But…I can only say that I feel like there’s value in (dare I say) *our* offensive, thoughtful, crazy[2], well-meaning, distracted corner of Medium. I can already think of a hatful of names that would fit right in to this proposed venture. Bet you can too! + +Either way, sod all of that… + +We gotta do this, to *save the world*. You said it your*self*![3] + +Besides, you *know* you *want* to. And that I’m gonna do it anyway *regardless *of all the best bits being wholesale stolen from you. Forms of flattery, just as you told me… + +;D + +Yeah, the pitch still needed work…I definitely feel like I’m coming off as trying too hard. I won’t be *too *offended if you just shut me down…not that you’ll care. As it should be. + +Ok, overstaying welcome now… + +[1] Because *you* bring the dangerous, and *I* bring the mad…Hm. We either need a third vict…volunteer ooor a new headline! Details, details… + +[2] Everyone *else*, not us. Of course. + +[3] Riots may or may not be included…[4][5] +[4] Gratuitous amounts of footnotes *definitely* included. + +[5] Who am I kidding. We’ll have the Riot to end all Riots! *The Riot*, in fact. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-10-about-time-you-saw-this--felt-it-was-just-your-speed.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-10-about-time-you-saw-this--felt-it-was-just-your-speed.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..35ea065 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-10-about-time-you-saw-this--felt-it-was-just-your-speed.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "About time you saw this! Felt it was just your speed…" +date: 2018-04-10 +--- + + About time you saw this! Felt it was just your speed… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-10-interesting--i-suppose-i-should-branch-out-of-oop-into-functional-then.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-10-interesting--i-suppose-i-should-branch-out-of-oop-into-functional-then.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..07b46cb --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-10-interesting--i-suppose-i-should-branch-out-of-oop-into-functional-then.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Interesting. I suppose I should branch out of OOP into Functional then…" +date: 2018-04-10 +--- + + Interesting. I suppose I should branch out of OOP into Functional then… + +Though I’m not sure it entirely matters since my programming consists more than most of trial and error. I’m awful at maths and yet somehow I usually manage…slowly, with plenty of false starts. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-10-nothing-by-half-measures.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-10-nothing-by-half-measures.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f3c2148 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-10-nothing-by-half-measures.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Nothing by half measures!" +date: 2018-04-10 +--- + + Nothing by half measures! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-11-funny-you-should-mention-it--the-lazy-part-of-programming-is-something-i-have-on-lock.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-11-funny-you-should-mention-it--the-lazy-part-of-programming-is-something-i-have-on-lock.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f9dcf65 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-11-funny-you-should-mention-it--the-lazy-part-of-programming-is-something-i-have-on-lock.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Funny you should mention it, the lazy part of programming is something I have on lock!" +date: 2018-04-11 +--- + + Funny you should mention it, the lazy part of programming is something I have on lock! Tis one of the reasons I love opensource… why reinvent the wheel when you can jack it off someone else. + +Code that writes itself sounds like a dream come true… I really should dip my toe in. + +That and without an understanding of functional programing I’m unable to quite comprehend the system you built past it being ‘the program to end all programs’. As an OOP programmer it sounds like abstraction to the nth degree….heaven. + +Hmm. Dammit. As if I didn’t have enough to do! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-16-aye--after-all--there-s-no-such-thing-as-original.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-16-aye--after-all--there-s-no-such-thing-as-original.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9c85781 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-16-aye--after-all--there-s-no-such-thing-as-original.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Aye, after all, there’s no such thing as original.." +date: 2018-04-16 +--- + + Aye, after all, there’s no such thing as original.. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-16-something-strange-approaches.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-16-something-strange-approaches.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..02bbdae --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-16-something-strange-approaches.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Something strange approaches…" +date: 2018-04-16 +--- + + ![](/img/1*B2eNaP0JffZJrf4Gi76oqA.jpeg)Photo by [Jakub Skafiriak](https://unsplash.com/photos/AljDaiCbCVY?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/grind?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)This silence is not the peace of pause + +This silence is terribly pregnant + +… + +A faint grinding + +On the edge of hearing + +… + +Gentle gnashing of ten-thousand teeth + +Fastidious honing of twenty-thousand snarling axeheads + +… + +Something strange approaches + +A time of reckoning + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-16-yes-yes-yes--this.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-16-yes-yes-yes--this.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2a1be3a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-16-yes-yes-yes--this.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yes yes yes, this." +date: 2018-04-16 +--- + + Yes yes yes, *this*. Though the *manner *in which* *I experience it is completely different [1] the *process* I experience — of ebb and flow in writing — is precisely the same. + +[1] Likely a natural result of my lack of visual recall… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-28-wow--i-thought-it-was-just-me-prone-to-that-sort-of-thing.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-28-wow--i-thought-it-was-just-me-prone-to-that-sort-of-thing.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fa1897a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-28-wow--i-thought-it-was-just-me-prone-to-that-sort-of-thing.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Wow… I thought it was just me prone to that sort of thing!" +date: 2018-04-28 +--- + + Wow… I thought it was just me prone to that sort of thing! + +Deep fryers are really something I shouldn’t be allowed near - because I have to consistently remind myself ‘don’t stick your hand in there, that’s *hot*’. + +And unlucky for me, I think my guardian angel wandered off long ago. I pay for dumb things — chief among them (so far) testing if an electric hot plate was on with the *flat* of my hand. That one hurt. + +Still, I must be at least somewhat charmed, to be this accident prone and yet *mostly* in one piece… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-04-30-jekyll-and-hyde-philosophy.markdown b/_posts/2018-04-30-jekyll-and-hyde-philosophy.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a991ece --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-04-30-jekyll-and-hyde-philosophy.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,45 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Jekyll and Hyde Philosophy" +date: 2018-04-30 +--- + + #### Torn between the bad and the ugly + +![](/img/1*y1NXI-alfOz6PgFt2VvP3A.jpeg)Photo by [Wendy Scofield](https://unsplash.com/photos/TjfQR3JgGG8?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/syringe?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I’ve mused before about my irreconcilable dual philosophy. The part of me that inspires the ‘Neither do I’ in my bio — it’s not just there for the rhyme! + +In the shower[1] just now it hit me what that is. + +It’s a Jekyll and Hyde philosophy. + +Sometimes, I attempt optimism with earnest. I see the world for what it *could be*, rather than the twisted anarchy that it is. And I am fired to fight towards that. My philosophy in these times is all-encompassing, laid back and non-judgmental. I believe — truly believe — in a Utopian future.[2] + +That’s my Jekyll philosophy. One of the best intentions.[3] + +Then, I inevitably remember (or am reminded) [*Life is Shit*](https://medium.com/@WhereAngelsFearToTread/rainbows-lollipops-and-sunshine-498cdad1e3f). + +This is the spiteful, cynical, middle finger to the universe side of my splintered worldview. Where I see that its a goddamn miracle the human race hasn’t obliterated itself *already *and we’re all living on borrowed time. A philosophy that is malevolent and selfish. Shit sucks and all we can do is make the best of it. + +But it also brings an anger — a futile rage against the universe that doesn’t give a shit. And a justified rage against The Powers That Be which don’t give a shit *either.[4]* + +That’s my Hyde philosophy. One of sometimes-righteous anger but shot through with wide cracks of black malice. + +And so I am. And so I am torn. + +Trapped and torn between two inconceivably opposed world views. Thinking one thing one moment, and the opposite the next. It is confusing and infuriating. + +So I half hope that one side eventually wins this impossible war. + +Though if that were to happen, I don’t know which side would win. + +I don’t know which side I’d *want* to win, either. + +[1] Why is it always the shower? I guess because its the only high-daydream activity we do regularly and consistently… + +[2] Equality for all and all that wonderful bollox. + +[3] For all the good that intentions are… + +[4] And anger is a veritable powerplant of energy, creative and otherwise. If it was good enough for Terry Pratchett, it is more than good enough for me. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-01-haha--i-did-think-about-putting-platinum-status--but-since-i-haven-t.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-01-haha--i-did-think-about-putting-platinum-status--but-since-i-haven-t.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..213a9be --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-01-haha--i-did-think-about-putting-platinum-status--but-since-i-haven-t.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,17 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Haha! I did think about putting platinum status, but since I haven’t…" +date: 2018-05-01 +--- + + Haha! I did think about putting platinum status, but since I haven’t… + +Broken a major bone…Yet. + +Been admitted…Yet. + +I didn’t think it’d be quite fair. + +Instead, what I have is a large collection of small scars and tales of stupidity to go with them. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-01-well-take-it-from-me--be-glad-it-wasn-t-hot.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-01-well-take-it-from-me--be-glad-it-wasn-t-hot.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2bca8e7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-01-well-take-it-from-me--be-glad-it-wasn-t-hot.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Well take it from me, be glad it wasn’t hot." +date: 2018-05-01 +--- + + Well take it from me, be glad it wasn’t hot. And that ain’t even the stupidest nor the most painful thing I’ve done… + +If they did Frequent Flyer cards for A&E I’d have gold status. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-02-bloody-hell.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-02-bloody-hell.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6a7b29d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-02-bloody-hell.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Bloody hell." +date: 2018-05-02 +--- + + Bloody hell. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-02-exactly-this--nice-words.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-02-exactly-this--nice-words.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..56af90f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-02-exactly-this--nice-words.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Exactly this. Nice words." +date: 2018-05-02 +--- + + Exactly this. Nice words. + +I didn’t have my hopes up that it would get better — can’t suffer dashed hopes if they were never raised (I think that’s my Hyde side talking ;D ) + +I should have learnt by now to listen more closely to my gut but apparently it takes a lot more than blunt force heartbreak to teach me a lesson….o.O + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-02-having-just-returned-from-said-land-of-freedumb.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-02-having-just-returned-from-said-land-of-freedumb.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d74ab57 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-02-having-just-returned-from-said-land-of-freedumb.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Having just returned from said Land of Freedumb…" +date: 2018-05-02 +--- + + Having just returned from said Land of Freedumb… + +Yep. + +:c + +Just as it was going well. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-02-sounds-about-right--but-what-do-i-know--i-ve-only-seen-one-city.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-02-sounds-about-right--but-what-do-i-know--i-ve-only-seen-one-city.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1565e8e --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-02-sounds-about-right--but-what-do-i-know--i-ve-only-seen-one-city.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Sounds about right. But what do I know, I’ve only seen one city…" +date: 2018-05-02 +--- + + Sounds about right. But what do I know, I’ve only seen one city… + +Oh, and a lot of online stupidity…plenty enough to validate your point! + +‘S almost as if they’re naturally resistant to education. As a nation…I know some Americans with their head screwed on right. Some as in few…as in fingers of one hand few, mind. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-02-uh-oh.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-02-uh-oh.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c898e20 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-02-uh-oh.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Uh oh." +date: 2018-05-02 +--- + + Uh oh. + +Dammit, *Medium*. I *liked* you. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-02-yip--specially-in-rustbelt-country.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-02-yip--specially-in-rustbelt-country.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b8f47e8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-02-yip--specially-in-rustbelt-country.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yip. Specially in Rustbelt country…" +date: 2018-05-02 +--- + + Yip. Specially in Rustbelt country… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-02-you-re-all-too-right-it-would-seem.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-02-you-re-all-too-right-it-would-seem.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3906561 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-02-you-re-all-too-right-it-would-seem.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "You’re all too right it would seem :/" +date: 2018-05-02 +--- + + You’re all too right it would seem :/ + +Here’s hoping they wake up and smell the damn coffee ASAP… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-04-quite-so--just-what-i-was-saying--but-far-more-succinct--p.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-04-quite-so--just-what-i-was-saying--but-far-more-succinct--p.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..db0e736 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-04-quite-so--just-what-i-was-saying--but-far-more-succinct--p.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Quite so! Just what I was saying, but far more succinct :p" +date: 2018-05-04 +--- + + Quite so! Just what I was saying, but far more succinct :p + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-06-we-fell-too-hard-too-fast.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-06-we-fell-too-hard-too-fast.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f82945c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-06-we-fell-too-hard-too-fast.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "we fell too hard too fast" +date: 2018-05-06 +--- + + ![](/img/1*bgClHJxffITMMUiAHTK5WQ.jpeg)Photo by [Ayko Kehl](https://unsplash.com/photos/N7lk60VTFfQ?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/falling?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)we fell too hard too fast + +shattered too finely + +an exquisite fracturing + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-12-50-claps-just-for-the-title-alone.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-12-50-claps-just-for-the-title-alone.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..531758b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-12-50-claps-just-for-the-title-alone.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "50 claps just for the title alone." +date: 2018-05-12 +--- + + 50 claps just for the title alone. I’d give you another fifty for the article if you could. But I can’t. You should probably now feel vaguely cheated ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-12-well-50-claps-for-you--and-an-imaginary-fifty-for-someone-else-a-long-long-time-ago-somewhere-far.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-12-well-50-claps-for-you--and-an-imaginary-fifty-for-someone-else-a-long-long-time-ago-somewhere-far.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0a01234 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-12-well-50-claps-for-you--and-an-imaginary-fifty-for-someone-else-a-long-long-time-ago-somewhere-far.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Well 50 claps for you, and an imaginary fifty for someone else a long long time ago somewhere far…" +date: 2018-05-12 +--- + + Well 50 claps for you, and an imaginary fifty for someone else a long long time ago somewhere far far away then! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-14-an-acidic-introduction-to-hate-love.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-14-an-acidic-introduction-to-hate-love.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..19f38fb --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-14-an-acidic-introduction-to-hate-love.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,63 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "An acidic introduction to hate-love" +date: 2018-05-14 +--- + + #### Vodka-soaked and bleeding + +![](/img/1*P0bYDW508YSd7zjaLeM9JQ.jpeg)Photo by [Alexander Sinn](https://unsplash.com/photos/DX5r6BNoWVE?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/burning-feather?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)*Foreword: I’ve been gestating this story for a long time. Because the events of it transfigured me. And that’s why I’m so sure it is worth telling, even if objectively it may not be ‘all that’. Now, YOU can be the judge of that.* + +I fell out of my first relationship, rolled down several (metaphorical, mostly) flights of stairs and ended up straight in another. At the very least I should be glad I learnt all that I have as early as I have. Although it doesn’t seem to have done me much good — but that’s for another time. + +This relationship was critically toxic, but in that particular way that seems — at the time — to be perfect. You know what I mean. That kind where red flags get trampled over with reckless abandon as lust and love wrench you together. + +Speaking of red flags, this was my first: The person I fell for was, it turned out, still with someone else when we got together. Much as I loathe to admit it, so was I. More than that — to my eternal shame that relationship was ended via text message. You could almost say part of what followed was my karma for pulling a dick move like that. It couldn’t all be down to that, though. + +What followed was a short interlude of bliss which — since it wasn’t at all painful — is entirely irrelevant. The only thing that may be tangentially of note is that I produced the only artwork I’ve ever had pride in during that time. Of course, I no longer have it. + +Shortly after my birthday, I get a very vague text — something along the lines of the classic ‘We need to talk’. And then get blanked until the next day, wherein I am a wreck. Naturally. + +So is she — she has this whole spiel about how she really needs to focus on work and whatever. Is also really broken up. + +I try to drown my sorrows in vodka and worse. The worse being [my experimentation with self harm](https://medium.com/frenetic-scribblings/a-story-i-never-thought-i-could-tell-a-confession-and-a-plea-472f4aa88bd6). Something I’m now clean of, fortunately. But that is beside the point. + +A few weeks later, nothing much has changed. Besides a few interludes of…confusing signals. Shortly, she confesses to me that she still has feelings for me, and me trying to move on has hurt her. + +… + +I mean, what else was I *supposed* to do? + +In both senses, that is. What else was I supposed to do than try to move on… + +… + +And what else was I supposed to do than welcome her back with open arms and bared heart. + +This time it lasted barely a week. + +What she said that time is different, however. + +She told me that she’s polyamorous. Right, fine. More than fine…but would have been nice to know beforehand. Except what she actually said is “I’m polyamorous except when I find someone who makes me monogamous” + +I’m sorry, **WHAT?!** + +Now I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure that’s *not* how polyamory works. (Feel free to learn me otherwise) + +But *besides* that what she told me in less words was… + +You are *not good ****enough**** for me.* + +Those words eat at me to this very day, no matter how much I try to drive them away. Slashed that heart I held out right in two. With her I felt like I was flying. She turned my whole world upside down. + +Then gravity (reality) kicked me in the face. And I fell off my topsy turvy world. Falling not flying, as it turned out. Which is a shame, because the wings I thought I had were really quite lovely. + +The worst part of all that, though? I’ll **never** know. I’ll never know if that summer of absolute bliss that we shared was real to her. Or just an illusion I cradled. Did she manipulate me every step of the way, taking twisted joy in how easily I fell for all her snares? How willingly I tore myself down to try to build her up? Or was she just as blind as I was? I will never know. Even if I ask I can’t trust the answer. Because — intentionally or otherwise — she ground up my trust in a heartbeat. + +A (large) part of me keeps telling me that I’m being overly dramatic. Magnifying trivial problems. But the scars I carry scream otherwise. If nothing else, these are certainly *my ****fucking**** feelings*. + +I bear scars, but I also cherish lessons. Most notably, and most obviously… + +DON’T ignore the damn red flags. No exceptions. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-14-beginnings-are-fugitive.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-14-beginnings-are-fugitive.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e7d538a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-14-beginnings-are-fugitive.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Beginnings are fugitive" +date: 2018-05-14 +--- + + ![](/img/1*aVdDPn7dCwjc6ch4oRBEuA.jpeg)Photo by [Dave Redfern](https://unsplash.com/photos/6yMnWHFehxQ?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/halfway?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Beginnings are fugitive + +*happy endings* is a conflict + +Better make some damn good betweens + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-15-confusing-and-confused--couldn-t-have-put-it-better-myself.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-15-confusing-and-confused--couldn-t-have-put-it-better-myself.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ef1498e --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-15-confusing-and-confused--couldn-t-have-put-it-better-myself.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Confusing and confused… couldn’t have put it better myself." +date: 2018-05-15 +--- + + Confusing and confused… couldn’t have put it better myself. + +I’m no longer hung up on her, not really, but the question of it being real still eats away. I’m not sure why it matters to me so much because either way it’s over…but logic doesn’t really apply here, does it! + +Thank you. I have no doubt it will be a long road, not least because I don’t know yet what my *thing* is. But, ironically enough, she gave me the strength to follow it. + +I wish you the same, if indeed you are looking and haven’t already found it. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-15-it-d-be-a-bit-freaky--yeah.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-15-it-d-be-a-bit-freaky--yeah.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..05e577b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-15-it-d-be-a-bit-freaky--yeah.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "It’d be a bit freaky, yeah." +date: 2018-05-15 +--- + + It’d be a bit freaky, yeah. + +But more to the point, could *you* stomach it? + +I sure as hell couldn’t! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-15-they-are-supposed-to-be-minefield-warning-flags--not-mile-markers---note-to-self--remember-that.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-15-they-are-supposed-to-be-minefield-warning-flags--not-mile-markers---note-to-self--remember-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..81ab2a5 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-15-they-are-supposed-to-be-minefield-warning-flags--not-mile-markers---note-to-self--remember-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "They are supposed to be minefield warning flags, not mile markers! (Note to self: remember that!!)" +date: 2018-05-15 +--- + + They are supposed to be minefield warning flags, not mile markers! (Note to self: remember that!!) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-15-yes-but-it-s-all-about-degrees--i-ran-right-over-an-entire-pageant-of-flags.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-15-yes-but-it-s-all-about-degrees--i-ran-right-over-an-entire-pageant-of-flags.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6413949 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-15-yes-but-it-s-all-about-degrees--i-ran-right-over-an-entire-pageant-of-flags.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yes but it’s all about degrees! I ran right over an entire pageant of flags…" +date: 2018-05-15 +--- + + Yes but it’s all about degrees! I ran right over an entire pageant of flags… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-16-oh--no-sir.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-16-oh--no-sir.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..59ca93f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-16-oh--no-sir.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Oh, no sir!" +date: 2018-05-16 +--- + + Oh, no sir! Hah! You misunderstand…I meant that I could never stomach being the one *dispensing ‘*kittens and rainbows’. + +The best you’ll ever get out of me is the occasional *attempt *at optimism. I was born a cynic and Life has/will only worsen that. That and I quite *like *being grim and gloomy sometimes…okay, often. + +So by all means! Go ahead, grit your teeth. Try to delude people that Life Is**n’t **Shit. That *will* be fun to watch. + +*…Now *who’s laughing ;) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-25-code-rainbow--i-repeat--code-rainbow.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-25-code-rainbow--i-repeat--code-rainbow.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9f40f5d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-25-code-rainbow--i-repeat--code-rainbow.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,57 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Code Rainbow, I repeat, Code Rainbow!" +date: 2018-05-25 +--- + + ![](/img/1*sTWdeoI2vhdUAMVlH0oGpg.jpeg)It’s been a little bit quiet recently. Haven’t you noticed? The tang of cynicism in the air is fading. Part of that is down to my consumed silence. But there is another more serious lack… + +The angel appears to have flown… + +That’s right. Radio silence from [Where Angels Fear](https://medium.com/u/6c8bcd0d1a65). For more than a *whole* *week*. That can’t be *anything* good! + +Course it’s entirely possible that he’s off on one of his legendary and lengthy benders. + +Or has disappeared to another platform, putting on another name and face as easy as you or I would put on a coat. + +But, dear reader. *But*…. + +I don’t think so! + +I’ve been doing a little de*tek*ivery and I believe I have solved the case of the vanished Angel. + +Look [here](http://“Free%20hugs”%20https://medium.com/@WhereAngelsFearToTread/free-hugs-9255fc57544d) at his most recent post. + +Free hugs? Free *hugs??* + +*Sunshine and *fucking* rainbows*?! + +Dear oh dear. + +I know what has happened here, ladies, gentleman and those of mysterious and indistinct gender. + +I believe our dear Angel actually attempted it! Attempted optimism. + +Obviously, we all know the result of that… + +... + +Yes, what’s that? + +Oh. You *don’t* know? + +Maybe he didn’t either, poor fool. + +Either way… what happens when a cynic attempts optimism is… + +Black meet white. Dark meet light. + +Matter meet antimatter. + +Ka*boom*. + +The cynic disappears in a puff of rainbow sparkles and Bullshit. + +I thought *everyone* knew that. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-27-i-can-never-not-think-of-space-marines-when-the-phrase--angel-of-death--is-used.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-27-i-can-never-not-think-of-space-marines-when-the-phrase--angel-of-death--is-used.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..545abbc --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-27-i-can-never-not-think-of-space-marines-when-the-phrase--angel-of-death--is-used.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,18 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I can never not think of Space Marines when the phrase ‘angel of death’ is used." +date: 2018-05-27 +--- + + +> An angel of death on this occasion, yes.I can never not think of Space Marines when the phrase ‘angel of death’ is used. That’s a glorious problem to have :p + + +> Nope, you’re spot on … *Dishonored* it *was*.Bingo! + +I’m guilty of similar such things myself…but usually not quite so systematic…! + + +> My penchant for engaging in acts of wickedness merely for wickedness’ sake does, occasionally, give me pause for thought : SBecause wicked is just *fun*? Ah man who knows…hey at least its only videogames! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-27-well-well-well--the-angel-returns--and-quite-an-entrance-that-was-too.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-27-well-well-well--the-angel-returns--and-quite-an-entrance-that-was-too.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..08ba245 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-27-well-well-well--the-angel-returns--and-quite-an-entrance-that-was-too.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Well well well. The Angel returns, and quite an entrance that was too." +date: 2018-05-27 +--- + + Well well well. The Angel returns, and quite an entrance that was too. + +What’ve you been playing? I get a Dishonoured vibe off this, but I could well be wrong. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-28-i-still-haven-t-played-bioshock-yet--nevermind-dishonoured---p.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-28-i-still-haven-t-played-bioshock-yet--nevermind-dishonoured---p.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0522630 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-28-i-still-haven-t-played-bioshock-yet--nevermind-dishonoured---p.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,19 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I still haven’t played Bioshock yet, nevermind Dishonoured! :P" +date: 2018-05-28 +--- + + +> Oh, you must!I still haven’t played Bioshock yet, nevermind Dishonoured! :P + + +> You’ve never played it and yet that clued you in to which game it was?I did say or at least imply I’d seen it played. Them traps and the whale oil stuck with me for some reason. Who knows why. + + +> No, you’re absolutely right about that.Heh. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, eh? ;D (Don’t know why I’m feeling quite so gleefully melancholy today…) + + +> Who told you there wasn’t? ; PMe! And since I’m the only sane perso…hang on a second…Damn! ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-28-oh-man--thank-you-so-much-for-writing-this.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-28-oh-man--thank-you-so-much-for-writing-this.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..18ef8f7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-28-oh-man--thank-you-so-much-for-writing-this.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Oh man. Thank you so much for writing this." +date: 2018-05-28 +--- + + Oh man. Thank you so much for writing this. I’ve tried to explain and write about the way I *don’t* see several times and largely failed. + +This is honestly an excellent explanation :D Very relatable for me, and hopefully informative to the 99%. + +There is one point where my experience differs, though. Lack of recall doesn’t lessen past pain for me. Instead I experience an intense longing for what is gone and can never be returned. + +I, too, would try anything to *see without seeing*, just once… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-28-ohhh-yeah-40k-didn-t-invent-space-marines-did-it----psh--yoof-these-days--uneducated-wankers---d.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-28-ohhh-yeah-40k-didn-t-invent-space-marines-did-it----psh--yoof-these-days--uneducated-wankers---d.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..891615b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-28-ohhh-yeah-40k-didn-t-invent-space-marines-did-it----psh--yoof-these-days--uneducated-wankers---d.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,27 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Ohhh yeah 40k didn’t invent space marines did it..! Psh, yoof these days, uneducated wankers :’D" +date: 2018-05-28 +--- + + +> I’d be more inclined to think of 40K myself but I’m just quibbling detail here ; )Ohhh yeah 40k didn’t invent space marines did it..! Psh, yoof these days, uneducated wankers :’D + + +> Of course you’ve played itI haven’t actually, yet. There are a great deal of games I’ve seen played and enjoyed but never actually picked up myself lol. + + +> could’ve taken place in any number of games.It was mention of razorwire traps that clued me in :P + + +> Indeed … but that’s still cause to pause for thought — I’m disconcertingly creative about it.There’s a thought…maybe being good at what you do is bad if what you do is being bad… + +Okay that might be slightly flawed logic on second look! + + +> think of [the fun I could have with them](http://angryflower.com/217.html)Heh. Heh. Heh… + + +> I swear there’s something wrong with me.Maybe. But if there’s something wrong with you there’s something wrong with *me *and we can’t be having that! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-28-she-insisted-it-was-never-what-she-meant.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-28-she-insisted-it-was-never-what-she-meant.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1c1e8b1 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-28-she-insisted-it-was-never-what-she-meant.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "She insisted it was never what she meant." +date: 2018-05-28 +--- + + She insisted it was never what she meant. + +It was. Plain as day. + +Knife straight through outstretched heart. + +I’m still looking (haven’t given up yet!) — thank you for your sympathy and kind words. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-29-believe-it-or-not-some-of-us-have-better-things-to-do-that-play-videogames.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-29-believe-it-or-not-some-of-us-have-better-things-to-do-that-play-videogames.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2947b59 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-29-believe-it-or-not-some-of-us-have-better-things-to-do-that-play-videogames.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,18 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Believe it or not some of us have better things to do that play videogames.." +date: 2018-05-29 +--- + + +> Sort. It. Out!Believe it or not *some *of us have better things to do that play videogames.. + +So I’ve been told… :P + + +> Because you’re young and impressionable? ; PHeh. Something like that… + + +> I’m filing that one…! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-30-i-d-rather-die-than-live-a-life-like-that.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-30-i-d-rather-die-than-live-a-life-like-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6ae1572 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-30-i-d-rather-die-than-live-a-life-like-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I’d rather die than live a life like that…" +date: 2018-05-30 +--- + + I’d rather die than live a life like that… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-30-thoughts-on-monogamy.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-30-thoughts-on-monogamy.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d567fdd --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-30-thoughts-on-monogamy.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,31 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Thoughts on monogamy" +date: 2018-05-30 +--- + + #### Or: Am I the only guy that *doesn’t* want a threesome? + +![](/img/1*9R2H9i-dUtBR9sWfT8jyPw.jpeg)I can’t imagine being anything other than monogamous. + +I’ve thought about it quite a bit. [Ever since what She said to me](https://medium.com/myfuckingfeelings/an-acidic-introduction-to-hate-love-c275655eb869). But it also resurged when another ex broke up with me in part because I was unable to stomach the idea of an open relationship. + +Because I can’t. I’m not opposed to the idea of casual sex with several different partners. Maybe even several different partners at once. + +But group sex is mutually exclusive to romantic relationships for me. I am either ‘free’ — for want of a better word — and experimental or I am committed. + +In this I am uncharacteristically very traditional. Which in itself doesn’t sit right with me. I hold a deep seated connection between love and exclusive sex. Is that something I formed on my own or something society impressed on me? Is sex worthy of the special meaning I and many other people ascribe to it or should it be a truly casual act? [Like it once was](https://medium.com/th-ink/heterosexuals-need-to-come-out-of-the-closet-part-1-6d0e071c4c0a) + +I hate the idea of clipping a partners wings. Preventing them from experiencing all that life and sex has to offer. To a much *lesser* extent I would be worried about clipping my own. + +In that respect… is monogamous sex even viable long term? Maybe not. Is it a step forward from the openness of the past, towards a romantic future…. Or is it a step back? + +Maybe monogamy is viable for some people and not others and I’m simply part of the former camp. And unfortunately attracted to people in the latter camp! + +I admit that part of my view on polyamory is based on fear and insecurity. Perhaps in a truly committed relationship I would feel confident opening it up without the worry of ‘losing’ my partner. Perhaps. + +I am in no way against open relationships. I just can’t imagine myself being comfortable *in* one. And it *is* all down to imagination at this point . Could I, should I, experiment? Maybe. + +Do I even want to? + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-31-and-i-thought-monogamous-relationships-were-a-headache.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-31-and-i-thought-monogamous-relationships-were-a-headache.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..32a2723 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-31-and-i-thought-monogamous-relationships-were-a-headache.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "And I thought monogamous relationships were a headache." +date: 2018-05-31 +--- + + And I thought monogamous relationships were a headache. + +I’m beginning to garner a great deal of respect for anyone who makes an open relationship work for all parties involved! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-31-bloody-hell--well-put.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-31-bloody-hell--well-put.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6958dbf --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-31-bloody-hell--well-put.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Bloody hell! Well put." +date: 2018-05-31 +--- + + Bloody hell! Well put. + +On that note… Having my heart broken by one person at a time is enough, thanks. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-31-i-m-not-quite-old-fashioned-enough-to-equate-polyamory-with-cheating--though-neither-are-you-from.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-31-i-m-not-quite-old-fashioned-enough-to-equate-polyamory-with-cheating--though-neither-are-you-from.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e9f0074 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-31-i-m-not-quite-old-fashioned-enough-to-equate-polyamory-with-cheating--though-neither-are-you-from.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,17 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I’m not quite old fashioned enough to equate polyamory with cheating (though neither are you from…" +date: 2018-05-31 +--- + + I’m not quite old fashioned enough to equate polyamory with cheating (though neither are you from the sounds of it) + +The question is, I suppose, is sex with your partner diminished if you both also do it with other people? + +The logical core of me says absolutely. + +Back to your idea…Interesting that you should mention genetics. Setting aside nature vs nurture… maybe there is a mental and therefore somewhat genetic predisposition for or against polyamory. It certainly doesn’t seem stupid. + +That’s a much bigger question than the one I was originally asking, though!! :P + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-31-i-suppose-the-first-problem-applies-equally-well-to-monogamous-relationships.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-31-i-suppose-the-first-problem-applies-equally-well-to-monogamous-relationships.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a940e1a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-31-i-suppose-the-first-problem-applies-equally-well-to-monogamous-relationships.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I suppose the first problem applies equally well to monogamous relationships." +date: 2018-05-31 +--- + + I suppose the first problem applies equally well to monogamous relationships. But compounded by the more people involved… + +As for the second… another good point. I have enough trouble keeping one person happy, let alone balancing several against each other… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-05-31-that-s-brushing-up-against-an-entirely-different-line-of-questioning-i-ve-been-taking-myself-down.markdown b/_posts/2018-05-31-that-s-brushing-up-against-an-entirely-different-line-of-questioning-i-ve-been-taking-myself-down.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6ae484d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-05-31-that-s-brushing-up-against-an-entirely-different-line-of-questioning-i-ve-been-taking-myself-down.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That’s brushing up against an entirely different line of questioning I’ve been taking myself down…" +date: 2018-05-31 +--- + + That’s brushing up against an entirely different line of questioning I’ve been taking myself down lately. Anyway!! + +Yeah. Good point that I didn’t even consider — polyamory in a fixed group (a threesome or whatever) and a free for all are very different beasts… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-04-instant-gratification-obsession.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-04-instant-gratification-obsession.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..def7b5b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-04-instant-gratification-obsession.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,35 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Instant Gratification Obsession" +date: 2018-06-04 +--- + + #### Or is it? + +![](/img/1*OyB8bi29G-ZHJOALL9NU7A.jpeg)I have a bit of a reputation for near instant replies. It’s another of the double edged swords that besides Perfectly Awful Timing provides the cornerstone to my ‘brand’ for want of a better word. + +Fast replies demonstrate ‘I have nothing better to do’. And that can certainly be a good or a bad thing… + +To a degree it is because I have nothing better to do. But I’m not obsessed with my phone in the same way others might be. + +It’s not the dopamine rush of notifications I crave, at least not exactly. + +I think it’s more that I have a craving for connection. + +Text is a bad mimic of real conversation. Real time replies are the basis of verbal communication… And yet are somehow sometimes frowned upon in text. + +I hate small talk. Always have always will. I’d much rather open with ‘How is your heart’ than ‘How are you’. Comes across a bit intense in text, though. + +Checking in often is something I’ve been working on in the hopes it will be returned. So far it hasn’t exactly worked. + +Anyway, looping back to the original track… + +My unnaturally quick speed of response leads me to subconsciously expect the same from the other person. + +Fine in real conversation. + +Toxic when applied to texting. + +I’m working on it. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-04-one-of-those-days-indeed.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-04-one-of-those-days-indeed.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..999b77c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-04-one-of-those-days-indeed.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "One of those days indeed." +date: 2018-06-04 +--- + + One of those days indeed. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-05-fuck-the-world.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-05-fuck-the-world.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d999d98 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-05-fuck-the-world.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,138 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Fuck the world" +date: 2018-06-05 +--- + + #### Not literally, you might catch something[1] + +![](/img/1*b8-UrpS2ct361i2QWAVeRw.jpeg)Let me tell you a little secret I learned. There is one fundamental truth. One truth in this maelstrom. In universal entropy one thing remains… + +… + +Life. Is. Shit. + +… No really that’s it. And I gleefully invite you to argue otherwise. Good luck with *that*. + +And don’t you try telling me to have hope. Don’t you *dare*. + +### Life is Shit + +![](/img/1*yQpwzrX2DeG2NWHer_UI8w.jpeg)Shit’s *fucked* man. There *will* be resource wars within my lifetime. It is increasingly likely Life As We Know it will be **Extinct **in my lifetime. + +*Climate change. Pollution. Water Scarcity. Overpopulation. *[*Plastic*](https://betterhumans.coach.me/how-to-save-the-world-from-death-by-plastic-1ae123403f85)*[3] Corruption and widening inequality.* + +All that wonderful stuff and more is shit that my generation is gonna have to deal with. And following generations[4]… if there *are* any. + +All you have to do is open your eyes and everywhere you look is an overwhelming deluge of world threatening issues. + +So it kind of makes me wonder *what’s the point? *Certainly goes a long way to explain the current mental health crisis. *What* crisis? Sorry[5]… Wake the fuck up. + +There are two possible answers to the question. But first… + +### Fuck Hope + +![](/img/1*og3DjfY1v_eU4q6vNRqXHw.jpeg)[Where Angels Fear](https://medium.com/u/6c8bcd0d1a65) likes to remind us that Hope was the worst of all Pandora’s gifts. I very much agree. + +It is the only one that kills us slowly, a little more each day. + +So *fuck* having hope. + +Don’t hope for a better reality. Sorry[5] but wishing for it ain’t gonna do shit, sunshine. + +Consider better possibilities but don’t start to anticipate them. That’s hope. That’s pain. + +It’s a fine line to walk and one I don’t claim to have mastered. Regardless… + +### Solution Nought — Shut up + +![](/img/1*Bd_T0hW-TJoeJZOasQTAkA.jpeg)Solution Nought is to continue. To settle for status quo[6]. To ignore the corruption, the killing, the not so gradual strangling of a whole world. To carry on as we have, in our *infinite* arrogance. + +It it Solution Nought because it is *not an option*. + +Regardless, the weight of numbers and ignorance will likely sweep us down this path. Not least because some follow this path willfully, because it benefits them short term. *Fuck* them. + +Solution Nought doesn’t have to doesn’t have to win…It can’t, not if you want to live. And I certainly do. + +### Solution One — Give Up + +![](/img/1*5JxrqWGErVW2AwlEr7T9rA.jpeg)In the face of all that is Hopeless… not least because I’ve already told you to fuck hope… What else is there to do but give up? + + +> Nothing has meaning, we’re all gonna die.We’re all doomed and there ain’t shit anyone can do about it. The world is falling apart, groaning at the seams from overpopulation and a hollow shell from exploitation. + +*Sorry[5] about this pessemism…* + +Give up. Give up and let it grind you down. Let the full reality sink in and embrace that we are doomed. Nothing has meaning, we’re all gonna die… + +… Nothing has meaning, we’re all gonna die. True, but it doesn’t have to mean *give up*. By all means *give up — *I often want to myself — but if that doesn’t sit right with you (It shouldn’t) …read on… + +### Solution Two — Stand Up + +![](/img/1*aWGAar7Gzm1BS7k3lHNgaA.jpeg)Nobody can do anything about it… But *everyone* might. + + +> I’m sick of this wilful ignorance, sick of pretending it’s all OK.It’d take a fucking Riot, but it just might happen. After all, you cannot take down a System from within the System.[7] + +And taking down the System is only the first step. Only half the battle let alone the war. A new System must arise, one that is prepared and equipped to deal with the remaining challenges. *If* doing so is even possible… + +But at least we wouldn’t be collectively (as a species) sticking our fingers in our ears and humming away. Wantonly ignoring the world because the reality sucks too bad. + +That’s the first step, is accepting that Life IS SHIT. It is and it always will be, but if we go on like this it won’t just be shit it won’t just be shit it will be **OVER**. For all of us. + +I’m sick of this wilful ignorance, sick of pretending it’s all OK. Nothing is okay. Arm yourself with that knowledge and fight. Fight the world that is destroying our world in any way you can. + +It’ll take a miracle to work. But miracles don’t just happen, they are borne. Borne on the backs of an angry mob. After all, strength in numbers is all the strength we have. + +### Solution Two A — Light Up + +![](/img/1*5TM6w6_G-hhjrBDPuNFQvg.jpeg)*Not a separate solution, more of a caveat to Solution Two.* + +Be the wrench in the gears, but don’t let that consume you. + +Need I remind you by now that Life is Shit? + +So fuck the world. + + +> Learn to live, love and laugh. Learn to do all that, despite that Life is Shit.Fight the world, but pick your battles. Don’t ignore experiencing life for the sake of trying to extend it. Both on a micro (your life) and a macro (the planet) scale. In a sense I’m saying *don’t* be selfless. Don’t fight a losing war at the expense of what time you have left. + +This is not ignorance. Nor is it selfishness. + +**It is living despite.** + +And that’s all my generation, all I, can ever do. + +Learn to live, love and laugh. Learn to do all that, despite that Life is Shit. + +Despite that Life is *Doomed*. + +Learn to *fuck the world* and go on *anyway.* + +### Final Wor(l)d + +![](/img/1*wnhPHkB1lFVJh-Fy6S1uLA.jpeg)I’m still learning. Still fighting the urge to resort to Option One. But even still I say and I say again…FUCK THE WORLD. + +I will fight for every last experience, every last moment. May the world end tommorow or in two years. Twenty, if we make it that far. A bigger *if* every day. + +I’ll fight tooth and nail every step. + +**Live life to the last drop, because the bottle (plastic, of course) is nearly empty.** + +[1] To steal the phrase of a Angel you hope you never meet.[2] + +[2] Credited in footnotes. That’s appropriate if nothing else. + +[3] God only knows why that article is pay walled. Quick(ish) summary… PSA the ocean is full of toxic plastic that will probably cause sudden and toxic ecosystem failure in the near future. Oh and did I mention it’s contaminating drinking water with high levels of estrogen? Yes, as in the female reproductive hormone. + +[4] *Not* that I’ll be contributing to that. I find it downright morally irresponsible what with all of the above. Besides that I *hate* kids! + +[5] I’m not + +[6] Latin for *the mess we’re in* don’t you know. And *what* a mess. + +[7] To be continued… + +*Photos credit to various wonderful people on Unsplash. It’s a fight to add captions on mobile, else I’d do it properly.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-06-hold-out-your-heart-cage-your-heart.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-06-hold-out-your-heart-cage-your-heart.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cd18583 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-06-hold-out-your-heart-cage-your-heart.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,23 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Hold out your heart/Cage your heart" +date: 2018-06-06 +--- + + ![](/img/1*muLIPc5oAhnh2_LTgfc4Ww.jpeg)On the one hand if you approach relationships with the idea that nearly all of them fail in mind, you’ll almost certainly end up the wrong side of that statistic. + +Again and again. + +On the other, if you approach each relationship with the idea that this is ‘The One’[1], you’ll get hurt. Disappointed. + +Again and again. + +Is there a healthy middle ground? Maybe. Probably? + +Will I find it? Unlikely! + +Sentenced to repeated diving headfirst into heartbreak. + +[1] As I am liable to do + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-06-that-s-exactly-the-way-i-like-to-see-it.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-06-that-s-exactly-the-way-i-like-to-see-it.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7f4ea11 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-06-that-s-exactly-the-way-i-like-to-see-it.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That’s exactly the way I like to see it." +date: 2018-06-06 +--- + + That’s exactly the way I like to see it. + +But other people don’t… And I find it difficult not to impose that idea on them. + +Essentially, I’m just impatient! O.o + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-06-yes--that-was-the-point---d.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-06-yes--that-was-the-point---d.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a8319fd --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-06-yes--that-was-the-point---d.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yes, that was the point! ;D" +date: 2018-06-06 +--- + + Yes, that *was* the point! ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-07-indeed.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-07-indeed.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..007cd74 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-07-indeed.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Indeed." +date: 2018-06-07 +--- + + Indeed. + +Written, fittingly enough, after a dinner date with my latest Greatest Mistake. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-07-nothing-is-ever-perfect.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-07-nothing-is-ever-perfect.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0a94dcc --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-07-nothing-is-ever-perfect.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Nothing is ever perfect" +date: 2018-06-07 +--- + + ![](/img/1*jlLjikVeV1qRv7PWuQq3EA.jpeg)What vs Who, same difference, right?I have a physics paper at 9am tommorow that I’m woefully unprepared for. It constitutes one third of the grade I need to get to uni. + +Totally my own fault of course. I only work AT deadlines not TO them. I dread to think what I’ll be like if I do make it to uni! + +Regardless, I should be desperately, hopelessly cramming for it, but here I am musing about my life, and Life in general. Damn, damn, damn my unfocusable[1] mind! + +This is already my second go.[2] I don’t know what I want to do after uni, or even if I’m sure that I want to go. But I’d at least like to have the choice! And at the moment? Not looking likely. + +But other than that things are damned perfect. Finally got rid of the L(oser) plates on my motorcycle. Courting my latest Greatest Mistake. She’s wond…No. NO. I refuse to get all soppy here on Medium. Not sober, anyhow. + +Anyway so… Life’s great, except for the part where [it’s shit](https://medium.com/frenetic-scribblings/fuck-the-world-6a89112d1de4). I feel the need to disclaim here that this entire post is part of an ongoing experiment in taking myself, and duly my writing, less seriously. Less serious, *more human*. So far, so good. Touchwood **headbutts desk** + +My key thought, after all of that is… + +Nothing ever goes *entirely* to Plan. There’s always a rogue thumb detecting nut-fucker… Er… wrench.[4] + +Sometimes, I put it there myself. + +[1] Is that a word? Is now! + +[2] At physics not life[3] + +[3] Human life, anyway. I’m almost certain I was a cat in a previous life. + +[4] Excuse my AvE-ism there. What’s that? You don’t know AvE?? Poor sod… You must have like… An actual life, or something! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-08-quite-so.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-08-quite-so.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d351c07 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-08-quite-so.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Quite so!" +date: 2018-06-08 +--- + + Quite so! + +I’ve always found that if the material doesn’t stick first time around I have a devil of a job forcing it to stick. + +I can’t seem to settle on a course. First it was physics, then Compsci. For a brief period I was set on Old Norse Studies at UCL. + +And now I’m doing Philosophy. Or…I *might* *be* if I can scrape through physics, which it turns out as you say… I only liked the *idea* of studying… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-11-electric-bikes-are-getting-off-the-ground--slightly-behind-electric-cars.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-11-electric-bikes-are-getting-off-the-ground--slightly-behind-electric-cars.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1e0246b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-11-electric-bikes-are-getting-off-the-ground--slightly-behind-electric-cars.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,23 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Electric bikes are getting off the ground, slightly behind electric cars." +date: 2018-06-11 +--- + + Electric bikes are getting off the ground, slightly behind electric cars. The coolest is the Zero S, I reckon. + +And that’s the thing… They are pretty damn cool. + +No chain (or shaft or whatever), no oil, no gears. Just smooth linear power, and lots of it. Arguably not as fun as the powerbands of different cylinder configurations but there is one thing… + +The torque. The damn torque. + +A pure performance electric bike will accelerate *obscenely* fast. And that might win me over. + +But I’ll always miss the roar of the engine. There’s something about an electric bike that seems… Less *bike. *Even if it is cleaner, more efficient and whatever. I won’t fight the transition but I know many bikers will. I do hope for an exemption purely because there are so so many bikes I want to try! :P + +Making an electric bike look dirty and slung together? Probably way more difficult even if just because there’s less *stuff* to beat up and tape back together. + +Though that could also provide an awesome blank canvas. On that front we definitely don’t know yet. It might be an excellent market opportunity, it might be a dead end. But more importantly, it might just get my imagination running full throttle. To use a term gradually going obsolete ;) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-11-finally-got-time-to-give-this-something-of-a-proper-response--been-at-download-all-weekend.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-11-finally-got-time-to-give-this-something-of-a-proper-response--been-at-download-all-weekend.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bccfd4c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-11-finally-got-time-to-give-this-something-of-a-proper-response--been-at-download-all-weekend.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,58 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Finally got time to give this something of a proper response, been at Download all weekend." +date: 2018-06-11 +--- + + Finally got time to give this something of a proper response, been at Download all weekend. + +Psychology does sound interesting but I’ve never given it any serious thought. It seems that was an oversight! + + +> (who had a dislike of me for some reason ; )Oh I *wonder* why. Probably the same reason my English teacher never liked me all that much! + + +> couldn’t have followed a logical progression from beer-glass to inebriation, never mind organised a piss-up in a breweryDon’t mind me, just nicking this phrase.. + + +> Just be aware that, just as I did, you might find the abstract nature of it dissatisfying when it comes to “but how do we know that to be the case?”I find anything of this nature ever so slightly dissatisfying as opposed to the satisfaction of creating something. Understanding something no matter how well or deeply, just doesn’t have the same kick. + +So maybe I should do an apprenticeship in something practical. Welding, probably. + +As if I didn’t have enough options already. + +All in all you do a wonderful job of exploring and explaining several options I’d considered and several more that I *am now* considering. Your explanation of Psychology vs Philosophy vs Sociology vs PPE is killer, thanks very much for that. + + +> If what you really want to do is hear the roar of adulation from the masses then you might do better to learn the guitar and form/join a successful band.Shame I have the musical talent of jam sandwich…I’d love to drum my damn heart out. I just don’t have the sense of rhythm, which is of course a *big* problem for a wannabe drummer. + +Music means a lot to me. It didn’t always but it certainly does now. Download has reinforced that a thousand fold. Music unites, unburdens. + +To be the uniter, rather than the United. The lifter not the unburdened. That’s the stuff of dreams for me. But likely will always remain so. I’m likely to stick to screaming at the world metaphorically in writing not literally in song. + + +> If you want to make people think then becoming the next Bill Hicks/Terry Pratchett/whoever might be a better path and you’d be better off going to improv/creative writing courses instead.I do like to make people think. Pratchett has had a huge influence on me… But becoming the next one? Not something that can be taught or learnt, in my humble opinion. So on that front I’ll just keep writing, scribbling away from the well of black ink that throbs somewhere within me. Sometimes it strikes a chord, sometimes it doesn’t. + +Either way, I scribble therefore I am. + + +> So … as I said … the question is “What do you do … and why?”A perfect way to phrase it. As I said to Southpaw, I don’t know the answer to that question. Yet, anyway. + +If I had to try it would be ‘A little bit of everything because I haven’t found/may never find something that lights my soul on fire’ + +I love to do a great many things. But there’s nothing I **love** to do. I’m torn between a thousand paths and am in danger of picking none because of it. + +The closest thing I have to a passion is motorcycling. It’s the only thing I know that routinely demands and *receives* every drop of my focus. But it isn’t a job. Or at least I wouldn’t want it to be. + +Just gotta keep trying new shit, I guess. Maybe I’ll find a passion, maybe I won’t. Time, and plenty of experimentation, will tell. After all, Life is the Great Experiment, as I like to say. + + +> I didn’t get to be a DJ because I studied Music Theory at college ; )Exactly! I’m under a lot of pressure to go to uni, as most people my age are. But it’s very clearly not the best path to everything, besides the obvious practical subjects. + +So all in all… I don’t know who I am yet let alone what I want to to. But I am confident it’ll be something interesting. And probably something dangerous. + +So… + +*Watch this space.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-11-gotcha--but-i-will-endeavor-not-to-use-mr-fluffy-unless-absolutely-necessary---d.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-11-gotcha--but-i-will-endeavor-not-to-use-mr-fluffy-unless-absolutely-necessary---d.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..18e55c7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-11-gotcha--but-i-will-endeavor-not-to-use-mr-fluffy-unless-absolutely-necessary---d.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Gotcha. But I will endeavor not to use Mr Fluffy unless absolutely necessary. ;D" +date: 2018-06-11 +--- + + Gotcha. But I will *endeavor* not to use Mr Fluffy unless absolutely necessary. ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-11-hah--there-is-that.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-11-hah--there-is-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5beee7a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-11-hah--there-is-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,52 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Hah. There is that." +date: 2018-06-11 +--- + + +> Now that I understand why they’re fucktarded wastes of space, I’m no less frustrated.Hah. There is that. + + +> There’s more than one way to get into the field(s) that interest(s) you.Very wise. + + +> And there’s more than one way to trigger music digitally ...That’s fair. + +But even still can you mosh to a DJ? I think not ;D + + +> what work do you think there will be for mechanics?Gah. That’s true. + +Guess I’d be better off being a sparky or a programmer but me and angry pixes have never got along great. + +What I really want is to be given a bunch of tools and scrap and left alone to just *build shit*. But it’s damned hard to scratch a decent living out of it. I should side gig it, but then I’ve got to choose it over a new motorcycle and… That’s a hard choice. + +Bootstrapping a project rather than buying a bike has the possiblity of returning the money and letting me do both. But all the same its only a chance, which makes the bike the more practical option! + + +> Or just become a cabbie.You know, that actually sounds pretty good. + + +> You have to think around the problem and ask yourself how you could get paid to do it, not why you can’t.Very true. + + +> At which point it dawned on me that I didn’t actually want to do what had convinced myself I did because, if I had, I’d’ve done itExactly! + + +> those six years between school and uni were the most significant in my life ... they made success much easier to achieve afterwards (and I got to spend a lot of time as student before I finally had to 'grow up and get a proper job' too ; )Okay, so I have six years after this one you say… + +Since I’m already following in your footsteps oddly closely, may as well go whole hog! + +Nah, I’m kidding, I wouldn’t put a timer on something like that… I’d just go with the flow, much as I hate that phrase. + +Funny you should mention abroad. All things allowing, I should be out in the Alps this time next month. Only a temporary gig. This time. + + +> in Life the test comes first and the learning afterwards.Oh man. That rings so damn true. + +I guess the important thing is to never stop learning. + +Hm…that was almost positive of me. Ick! ;P + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-11-i-knew-about-bikes--obviously.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-11-i-knew-about-bikes--obviously.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6f9015e --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-11-i-knew-about-bikes--obviously.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I knew about bikes (obviously)." +date: 2018-06-11 +--- + + +> So, build rat/survival bikes to commission.I knew about bikes (obviously). I knew about rat rods. Why did I not think about rat bikes until someone hit me over the head with it! + +BRB… buying a piece of shit bike… + +Oh wait… I Already did. But tried to make it my daily rider! + +I joke, I joke. Mine is a bit too nice to beat up into a rod. + +But… You know, I might just do that… it’d certainly be a fuckton of fun either way… + +Now you really gotta *watch this space* ;D + + +> Potentially undone by autonomous vehicles in the not too distant Future, unfortunately.Ahhh, true. + + +> so don’t turn your nose up at something that doesn’t seem obvious to start with — I never intended to spend four years as a barman, but it improved my language skills immeasurably because, in a customer facing role, you spend a lot of time talking to people and have to master the language if you want to keep your job.Very very wise indeed. Thanks for your advice. + + +> Yeah .... my fault, I’m afraid — sorry ; )Dammit. Now I gotta go write another **fuck the world** piece ;P + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-11-i-m-more-of-a-cruiser-guy-when-it-comes-to-looks-anyways.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-11-i-m-more-of-a-cruiser-guy-when-it-comes-to-looks-anyways.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..494abb8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-11-i-m-more-of-a-cruiser-guy-when-it-comes-to-looks-anyways.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I’m more of a cruiser guy when it comes to looks anyways." +date: 2018-06-11 +--- + + I’m more of a cruiser guy when it comes to looks anyways. I can’t stand riding the things anymore, not when the peg goes down at a breezy 45 degrees or so, but they are pretty to look at. Shiny! :P + +An electric cruiser would just be… *Wrong*, though. + +Maybe electric bikes provide opportunity for entirely new styles of bike, I don’t know. + +And yes, it will have to make noise. The whine they do make is actually quite eerie, but certainly not loud compared to a bike. Even a stock pipe one ;D There’s a video that went semi viral [where a ped almost gets hit by one in London](https://youtu.be/lMphb6cNScM) (Zone 1 that is, not the Wilds of Zone 3 ;) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-11-i-won-t-know-until-august-if-i-have-the-option-to-access-most-of-the-courses-i-m-interested-in.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-11-i-won-t-know-until-august-if-i-have-the-option-to-access-most-of-the-courses-i-m-interested-in.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..af95e30 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-11-i-won-t-know-until-august-if-i-have-the-option-to-access-most-of-the-courses-i-m-interested-in.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I won’t know until August if I have the option to access most of the courses I’m interested in…" +date: 2018-06-11 +--- + + I won’t know until August if I have the option to access most of the courses I’m interested in anyways. So I’ve at least got time to think. + +The root trouble with me is ‘what I want to do’ is *a little bit of everything*. But that doesn’t tend to pay very well! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-11-interesting-thanks-for-looping-me-in.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-11-interesting-thanks-for-looping-me-in.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..33274dc --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-11-interesting-thanks-for-looping-me-in.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Interesting…thanks for looping me in." +date: 2018-06-11 +--- + + Interesting…thanks for looping me in. + +Angel also wrote me something very thought provoking that I haven’t had a chance to respond to properly. + +The more I think, the less I like about uni. The fact I picked the city I wanted to live in then picked uni/course based on that probably says it all. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-11-it-may-be-too-late-now-for-me--but-it-isn-t-too-late-for-you.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-11-it-may-be-too-late-now-for-me--but-it-isn-t-too-late-for-you.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..87d5772 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-11-it-may-be-too-late-now-for-me--but-it-isn-t-too-late-for-you.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "It may be too late now for me. But it isn’t too late for you." +date: 2018-06-11 +--- + + It may be too late* now* for me. But it isn’t too late for you. + +My axe is ready. + +On second thoughts Mr Fluffy may slice you in half. Which would get your attention…for a *split* second. + +So…how does a half brick sound? ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-11-that-s-probably-a-damn-good-advantage-in-life-nevermind-in-work--hmm.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-11-that-s-probably-a-damn-good-advantage-in-life-nevermind-in-work--hmm.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a4be0e5 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-11-that-s-probably-a-damn-good-advantage-in-life-nevermind-in-work--hmm.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,41 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That’s probably a damn good advantage in Life nevermind in work! Hmm…" +date: 2018-06-11 +--- + + +> an understanding of how people think and behave could be advantageous.That’s probably a damn good advantage in *Life *nevermind in work! Hmm… + + +> what are the chances of your skill set being automated in a few years?In the case of welding, *certain*. It’s largely already *been* automated. So probably not the greatest choice. + +I’m better at using my imagination than my hands, but I enjoy using my hands more than my imagination. It’s a bit of a catch - 22. + + +> a ‘useful lie’, as it wereEmphasis on the useful :D + + +> You can achieve much the same as a DJWell yeah, in terms of the effect you have on people. But you can’t hammer away on a deck the same way you can on a drum set! And there’s a certain (friendly) violence to live music — my sort of stuff anyway — that isn’t quite replicated. + + +> they may not be able to afford a pilot’s licence or a yacht or a speedboat or a hot air balloon, but they might change their car frequently ... for the challenge of mastering a new vehicle.Hmm.. I *am* interested in getting a pilot’s licence. And there’s no end to the cars and bikes I’m eyeing up. + +Maybe I should just sod it all become a mechanic, but I don’t know if I have the patience. No use being a trucker, that’ll get automated. + +So that’s also probably more of a hobby than a job. Nowt wrong with having a million hobbies… apart from the need to turn one or two of them into a career to support all the others! And I do have a cursed tendency to pick rather expensive hobbies… + + +> It doesn’t matter where, when or how you do it ... it doesn’t matter in what fields or disciplines you operate ... the question is of what you do, not where/when/how/why?Hmm. That’s gonna take some figuring. But you’ve certainly pointed me in the right direction… + + +> It’s a double-edged sword.As if I didn’t have enough ;D + + +> You can probably afford to take a gap yearI already *did*! I didn’t have much choice when I didn’t make the grades first time around. But now it looks like I won’t get them second time either. No fault but my own, because of the previously mentioned… Er…issue with never working until its too late. + +I didn’t achieve an awful lot with my time either, besides working — not that I squirreled away any money — and falling in love. With motorcycles that is. Which may have something to do with the lack of money ;) + +More to the point I’m not really closer to figuring out what I *do*. I’m currently finding plenty of stuff that I don’t do, not *really do. *But process of elimination will take me a *lifetime*. And that’s time I *cannot* afford to waste. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-11-yeah-i-should-caveat-i-don-t-like-choppers-or-ape-hanger-bars-either.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-11-yeah-i-should-caveat-i-don-t-like-choppers-or-ape-hanger-bars-either.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..787b9c7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-11-yeah-i-should-caveat-i-don-t-like-choppers-or-ape-hanger-bars-either.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yeah I should caveat I don’t like choppers or ape hanger bars either." +date: 2018-06-11 +--- + + Yeah I should caveat I don’t like choppers or ape hanger bars either. They’re just daft and basically turn you into a car on two wheels. Forward controls aren’t all that practical for a guy my height either. + +Though something like the CMX500, a bobber style but ‘less bobbed’ if you will is my kryptonite. A cruiser to be sure, but slightly aggressive rather than laid back in its stance. + +But you’re right, not practical. Which also makes them kind of boring. Pretty to look at, boring to ride as anything more than a commuter. But even then it loops back to the ‘steer out of trouble’ point you make. All bark no bite. + +Like the full on choppers (think exhausts mms off the ground and a foot out past the back wheel —stupid!) they’re mostly good in a straight line and what good is *THAT*! ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-12--snkt----snkt----snkt.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-12--snkt----snkt----snkt.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..24adaee --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-12--snkt----snkt----snkt.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "*snkt*, *snkt*, *snkt*" +date: 2018-06-12 +--- + + #### Like metronomic and distorted cackling laughter + +![](/img/1*aPhII8tpOj9XsXXQNngPzw.jpeg)The idea-spiders skitter. Piercing clatter of a thousand million worming thoughts. Each one keens in its own way, hungry for freedom. Each one glibly promising sprawling webs of crystalline creativity. Each one truthful to a volatile degree. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-13-i-think-i-stole-that-one-from-you-directly.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-13-i-think-i-stole-that-one-from-you-directly.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..aac930f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-13-i-think-i-stole-that-one-from-you-directly.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I think I stole that one from you directly." +date: 2018-06-13 +--- + + I think I stole that one from you directly. If not it is very Angelian. As in like Pratchettian… It may need a better word. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-13-is-self-reflection-enough.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-13-is-self-reflection-enough.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a7f318b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-13-is-self-reflection-enough.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,31 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Is self reflection enough?" +date: 2018-06-13 +--- + + ![](/img/1*X6EM9sYgei-wM70Z3IoGxw.jpeg)I’ve been doing a lot (a whole lot!) of self reflection lately. It’s probably *reflected* — Hah! (Sorry[1]) — in my writings. + +I’m trying to figure out *who I am*. And [*what I ****do***](https://medium.com/@WhereAngelsFearToTread/obviously-im-biased-but-80778a2de71e). Big questions. But ones I want answers to. + +Not least because of the series of relationship explosions I’ve undergone recently. In particular I’m trying to identify and neutralise toxic behaviours I either already had or developed in those relationships. + +I’m pretty sure I’m badly codependent. Which needs to change. I also have a major tendency to jump ahead of myself when I should be rolling with the punches.[2] But I don’t know exactly how. Which loops quite neatly to the title. + +I’ve been looking inward. Balancing it with looking outward. Trying to let a *little* more positivity bleed into the darkness.[3] + +Trying really damn hard to be more mindful, more grateful. + +All of that is good. But is it enough? Can I do this — whatever *this *is — alone? + +I don’t know. Which is another thing I’m working at being better at — admitting when I’m wrong or don’t know. Which is a lot of the time when *this* is involved. + +I guess I’m just trying to be a better person. Something I should be able to manage alone. In theory. I don’t know. + +[1] I’m not. + +[2] I don’t mean that inherently negatively as it implies. *Going with the flow *just isn’t violent enough for me. On second thoughts maybe I *do*. + +[3] Sometimes. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-13-mm--too-french.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-13-mm--too-french.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f88997e --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-13-mm--too-french.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Mm, too French." +date: 2018-06-13 +--- + + Mm, too French. + +I kid I kid. Pratchettian is the ‘actual’ term apparently. What the Angel version is, is yours to choose ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-13-no.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-13-no.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4dcbf7b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-13-no.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "No…" +date: 2018-06-13 +--- + + No… + +Arr I mean, yep! I’m always funny on *purpose*, what are you talking about… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-13-you-know--i-didn-t-make-that-connection--damn-good-point.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-13-you-know--i-didn-t-make-that-connection--damn-good-point.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8716499 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-13-you-know--i-didn-t-make-that-connection--damn-good-point.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "You know, I didn’t make that connection. Damn good point." +date: 2018-06-13 +--- + + You know, I didn’t make that connection. Damn good point. + +I’ll keep reflecting, but also not neglect reaching out. Balance is key… Something you’d think I’d be good at with my split morality issue!! You’d think… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-14-medium-ate-this-response-for-some-reason--saw-it-in-an-email-of-all-things.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-14-medium-ate-this-response-for-some-reason--saw-it-in-an-email-of-all-things.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5f91843 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-14-medium-ate-this-response-for-some-reason--saw-it-in-an-email-of-all-things.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Medium ate this response for some reason. Saw it in an email of all things." +date: 2018-06-14 +--- + + Medium ate this response for some reason. Saw it in an email of all things. + +Thanks for sharing your journey, and the tip about law — though I don’t think I was in danger of that! :P I don’t do too well in structured education so ideally I want the fastest exit route into work but at the same time I don’t want to paint myself into a dead end job in the future. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-15-i-momentarily-considered-doing-it-just-to-fuck-with-you.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-15-i-momentarily-considered-doing-it-just-to-fuck-with-you.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..effbe0a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-15-i-momentarily-considered-doing-it-just-to-fuck-with-you.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I momentarily considered doing it just to fuck with you." +date: 2018-06-15 +--- + + I momentarily considered doing it just to fuck with you. But that would be really rather wrong of me and go against the point of the article somewhat. + +Nope, am not either of those. Just… very confused :D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-15-on-labels.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-15-on-labels.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4f34d28 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-15-on-labels.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,47 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "On labels" +date: 2018-06-15 +--- + + #### Another double edged philosophy + +![](/img/1*4hLg_xEJR-4deFWCq-U8dg.jpeg)Labels are great. They help organise things, like files. They underpin organisation and sorting systems. Categorisation. + +Labels get tricky when applied to things that defy categorisation. People. + +On the one hand, labeling people is super handy. Provided that the label is accurate — and the only way to guarantee that is if it is self applied. For example I label myself a ‘gearhead’ because it’s a convenient way to convey an area of my interests. + +Labels help like minded people find each other. Help communities form. They are used to convey, in some small way, who we are. A bio with a bunch of labels tells much more - after all a label is just a certain kind of symbol. + +Labels help. But only when they are not used to reinforce the oh so pervasive ‘Us vs Them’ mentality. + +You can’t sort people by labels, even those they’ve proudly stuck on themselves. + +Recognising that people are different and categorising them are worlds apart. Because one depends on seeing the person first, and the other the labels first. + +I see people, not tags. + +As far as luck goes I’ve got a pretty good lot. And I’m trying to be mindful enough to be grateful for it. + +But gratitude won’t do. I am trying to become an Ally to those less fortunate. I’m still working on being better at it — but that’s Life , I suppose. + +On a separate but related note as it were, I have a new label for myself. + +I am hetroflexible. Maybe even bi. The truth is I’m not quite sure. + +‘Confused’ feels like the most valid label, but I’m concerned that it would be interpreted as ‘making light’ of a serious issue. For want of a better word. Anyway! + +Am I leveraging that declaration to make a point? Yes, a little bit. Is it justified? I think so. + +Because my point is thus: + +Us. Never *Them*.* *Remember the person. + +With one exception. Which I suppose is the real double bladed part of the philosophy. Almost hypocritical. But you should be used to that by now. + +Anyway. The exception. Those that wield labels like weapons. See themselves as better than anyone else.** **To them I say… + +**Fuck Off** + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-15-that-s-equating-all-being-losers-with-all-being-winners--is-it-not.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-15-that-s-equating-all-being-losers-with-all-being-winners--is-it-not.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..615c27c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-15-that-s-equating-all-being-losers-with-all-being-winners--is-it-not.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That’s equating all being losers with all being winners, is it not?" +date: 2018-06-15 +--- + + That’s equating all being losers with all being winners, is it not? If we’re all losers some can still lose harder or something. + +I dunno. Now I’m thinking too much about mortality. Gah. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-15-there-is-that.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-15-there-is-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..12b6837 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-15-there-is-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "There is that." +date: 2018-06-15 +--- + + There is that. But we’re all doomed to death and failure anyway. I see nothing wrong with failing along the way. Nobody wins, so I might as well lose hard… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-16-huh--interesting-points-all-round.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-16-huh--interesting-points-all-round.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a453189 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-16-huh--interesting-points-all-round.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Huh, interesting points all round." +date: 2018-06-16 +--- + + Huh, interesting points all round. + +Fear not I haven’t the slightest intention of becoming an ‘intellectual’. What *else *I plan to do with a degree like philosophy is *anybody’s* guess… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-23-an-unwanted-and-disturbing-discovery.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-23-an-unwanted-and-disturbing-discovery.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0c39ea3 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-23-an-unwanted-and-disturbing-discovery.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "An unwanted and disturbing discovery" +date: 2018-06-23 +--- + + ![](/img/1*InoUKW3PFjCejf3nhYQJ_Q.jpeg)So somehow — And I really don’t know how — I ended up on a ‘pro-ana’ forum just now. + +‘pro-ana’, for those who haven’t yet had to find out, is the promotion of anorexia as something healthy. + +**What. The. Fuck?!** + +Now, I’m not anorexic. I have body image problems — doesn’t everyone. Not to the point of an eating disorder. But I have known — closely — several people who have struggled with that. + +So I think I’m valid in saying the existence of anything ‘pro’ anorexia is flat out dangerous. Some of the stuff I read within a few minutes shocked and scared me. Positivity and encouragement towards people purging meals and fasting. Towards people being lightheaded from lack of calories. + +These are people at their most vulnerable. Already battling their own minds and just waiting for them are… + +Mutual support groups to help each other dive deeper into illness. More to the point, to reframe their illness as something positive. + +I don’t know why I’m bothering to explain myself here. Anyone with half a brain would have been going ‘what the fuck’ along with me at the definition of the word. + +Anyone who isn’t? To them I say…**What the fuck?** + +So I don’t really have a point here. But I had to write this anyway. I just cannot fathom the existence of such a movement, and the harm it must cause. + +I just… What is *wrong* with people? *What is wrong with the world?* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-24-yeah--i-know--was-saying-the-same-thing-twice-in-two-different-hats-for-emphasis---p.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-24-yeah--i-know--was-saying-the-same-thing-twice-in-two-different-hats-for-emphasis---p.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ffe9ff1 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-24-yeah--i-know--was-saying-the-same-thing-twice-in-two-different-hats-for-emphasis---p.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yeah, I know. Was saying the same thing twice in two different hats for emphasis… :P" +date: 2018-06-24 +--- + + Yeah, I know. Was saying the same thing twice in two different hats for emphasis… :P + +Not that this should need emphasis…Like I mean really. Bloody hell. Every time you think we’ve hit rock bottom there’s another few miles down yet… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-25-errrr--hang-on---goes-digging-through-a-mound-of-virtual-paper.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-25-errrr--hang-on---goes-digging-through-a-mound-of-virtual-paper.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d9acdb7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-25-errrr--hang-on---goes-digging-through-a-mound-of-virtual-paper.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Errrr, hang on! *goes digging through a mound of virtual paper*" +date: 2018-06-25 +--- + + Errrr, hang on! *goes digging through a mound of virtual paper* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-25-i-do-apologise-for-just-indirectly-murdering-at-least-a-week-of-your-free-time.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-25-i-do-apologise-for-just-indirectly-murdering-at-least-a-week-of-your-free-time.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..771a7cf --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-25-i-do-apologise-for-just-indirectly-murdering-at-least-a-week-of-your-free-time.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I do apologise for just indirectly murdering at least a week of your free time!" +date: 2018-06-25 +--- + + I do apologise for just indirectly murdering at least a week of your free time! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-25-not-even-the-glorious-gore-of-space-marine.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-25-not-even-the-glorious-gore-of-space-marine.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f43c91f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-25-not-even-the-glorious-gore-of-space-marine.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Not even the glorious gore of Space Marine?" +date: 2018-06-25 +--- + + Not even the glorious gore of *Space ****Marine***? [https://store.steampowered.com/app/55150/Warhammer\_40000\_Space\_Marine/](https://store.steampowered.com/app/55150/Warhammer_40000_Space_Marine/) Or are orks not humanoid enough? ;P + +Other than the new DOOM that’s about all the FPS I’ve played recently. I’m more of a ‘destruction on a planetary scale’ guy. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-25-oh--oh--oh--i-like-that--i-like-that-a-lot.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-25-oh--oh--oh--i-like-that--i-like-that-a-lot.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a0f38b1 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-25-oh--oh--oh--i-like-that--i-like-that-a-lot.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Oh, oh, oh, I like that. I like that a lot." +date: 2018-06-25 +--- + + Oh, oh, oh, I like *that*. I like that *a lot*. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-25-okay-point-taken--p.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-25-okay-point-taken--p.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4425ce7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-25-okay-point-taken--p.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Okay point taken :P" +date: 2018-06-25 +--- + + Okay point taken :P + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-25-or-indeed--this-https---store-steampowered-com-app-427520-factorio.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-25-or-indeed--this-https---store-steampowered-com-app-427520-factorio.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a7a43db --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-25-or-indeed--this-https---store-steampowered-com-app-427520-factorio.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Or indeed, this https://store.steampowered.com/app/427520/Factorio/" +date: 2018-06-25 +--- + + Or indeed, this + +Endless problem solving and debugging cleverly disguised as a game. More fun than I just made it sound — if it is your cup of tea. And appropriately morally bankrupt. + +And just perfect for someone who’s bored…booting it at 4pm and finally closing it at 4am is not unheard of. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-25-rock--n--mother-fucking-roll.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-25-rock--n--mother-fucking-roll.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4125311 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-25-rock--n--mother-fucking-roll.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,46 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Rock ’n’ Mother Fucking Roll" +date: 2018-06-25 +--- + + ![](/img/1*ti9I-xQa0ESoOgGiyNB4gQ.jpeg)Photo by [Anton Mislawsky](https://unsplash.com/photos/Hrub79gOSwQ?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/heavy-metal?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I love Rock’n’Roll. I love its its younger darker sibling Heavy Metal. I am something of a closeted metalhead. No longer! + + +> It ain’t real music without guitar — Hey Ho, HinderFrom a ‘pure music’ standpoint, I love the guitar riffs and frantic drumlines. I have a particular soft spot for female vocalists (Halestorm, In This Moment) for the contrast they provide to the heavy instrumental. + + +> Shove your kiss straight through my chest — In This MomentFrom an entertainment perspective there’s nothing more wild than a metal concert. The energy of everyone involved is off the charts. The gratuitous pyrotechnics are just the icing on the cake. + +But it’s not about the actual *music*. Music never is, is it? + +It’s about the meaning behind the sound. The lyrics most obviously, but also the ‘shape of the song’.[1] Rock speaks to my soul. + + +> Life’s too short to run it like a race. So it’s never gonna matter if you win first place — special, ShinedownI find aggressive music weirdly uplifting. Dark songs can lift me into a good mood and keep me there. It doesn’t make sense, but *neither do I*. + + +> We won’t surrender +> Till we get what we’re lookin’ for — Daughters of Darkness, HalestormAnyway. Let me loop back to the concert point for a minute. + +Metalheads are *nice people*. + +Obviously, not *all* of them[2]. Every group has its own fair share of arseholes. But for the most part metalheads are just…chill. After all, you can never understand the idea of ‘friendly violence’ until you’ve witnessed — or indeed joined — a mosh pit. If nothing else they’re[3] certainly the least judgemental crowd I’ve found. + +My point being rockers understand music more than most. They understand the power it holds. The power to bring people together. + +Seas of raised horns are evidence enough for that. + +Rock sees no race, no religion, no colour, no creed. Just humans**.** + +Humans *rockin’ out*. I don’t know about you, but I think this world could use a bit[4] more humanity. If that happens to come wrapped in epic shredding? All the bloody *better*! + +[1] Look, I don’t know. It makes sense in my head, okay :c + +[2] us + +[3] *we’re* + +[4]*fuckton + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-26-huh--never-saw-them-because-i-was-stuck-on-mobile-at-the-time.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-26-huh--never-saw-them-because-i-was-stuck-on-mobile-at-the-time.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b66819f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-26-huh--never-saw-them-because-i-was-stuck-on-mobile-at-the-time.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Huh. Never saw them because I was stuck on mobile at the time." +date: 2018-06-26 +--- + + Huh. Never saw them because I was stuck on mobile at the time. And now when I click on the notification Medium won’t show me the note. Wut. + +EDIT: Bit of inspect element trickery — Lord knows why that was necessary — and I have the links. Let’s see now… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-26-okay-thaaat-s-pretty-moshable.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-26-okay-thaaat-s-pretty-moshable.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f954504 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-26-okay-thaaat-s-pretty-moshable.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Okay thaaat’s pretty moshable." +date: 2018-06-26 +--- + + Okay thaaat’s pretty moshable. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-26-the-dropbox-ones.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-26-the-dropbox-ones.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e86fe2e --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-26-the-dropbox-ones.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "The Dropbox ones." +date: 2018-06-26 +--- + + The Dropbox ones. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-06-26-took-one-look-at-the-length-of-it-and-decided-to-listen-to-it-in-the-morning--now-here-we-are.markdown b/_posts/2018-06-26-took-one-look-at-the-length-of-it-and-decided-to-listen-to-it-in-the-morning--now-here-we-are.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1afb84b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-06-26-took-one-look-at-the-length-of-it-and-decided-to-listen-to-it-in-the-morning--now-here-we-are.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,21 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Took one look at the length of it and decided to listen to it in the morning! Now here we are." +date: 2018-06-26 +--- + + Took one look at the length of it and decided to listen to it in the morning! Now here we are. + +That wasn’t music. That was an *experience*. + +I love that. + +But point in question — could you mosh to it? + +Not exactly. You could certainly dance with energy and friendly violence. But it wouldn’t be a *mosh*. + +Functionally equivalent, though. I do like some hard electronic — especially that and apparently anything else you recommend [1]— but nothing will ever top a good shred for me. Different strokes for different folks ;P + +[1] Who *knew* a DJ would be good at that! lol + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-01-flickering-like-candle-flame-in-the-wind.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-01-flickering-like-candle-flame-in-the-wind.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f92d9e0 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-01-flickering-like-candle-flame-in-the-wind.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,50 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Flickering like candle-flame in the wind" +date: 2018-07-01 +--- + + #### The edge of vision otherwise dark + +![](/img/1*iApOUMOp3jumngLFj3RhYw.jpeg)Photo by [Paul Bulai](https://unsplash.com/photos/XOQJa4OC8P0?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/candle?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)[I have a blind mind’s eye.](https://medium.com/frenetic-scribblings/minds-eye-blind-93509e102fe) + + +> I don’t see mental images. It’s incredibly difficult to describe what I do see, but certainly not the vivid mental imagery that I’m told others experience.[1]I’ve also recently figured out I am a broadly visual learner. Which renders my memory next to useless. Since if I learn through imagery, and yet my image recall is short circuited…I can’t very well learn *anything* can I! + +Though as I’ve said before, [some things stick](https://medium.com/frenetic-scribblings/some-things-stick-519bc645e86d). Somehow, moments of intense emotion stick. As for why, I couldn’t say. My relationship with emotions in general is *complex*, to say the least. I’m still working through that. One step at a time, one puzzle piece of my eight dimensional jigsaw at a time.[2] + + +> My mind is like a sieve, selecting if not the particularly good or bad, but the significant of all kinds.More to the point of *this *piece though, just now I experienced a phenomenon I’ll call ‘flickering’. + +Just as with anything involving this subject it’s complex to describe. Maybe the best description is…. + +*Ghosted images, like the retina starbursts after firework flash. Flickering like the flame of a candle in hissing wind. Dancing on the peripheral of mental image. Tantalisingly unseen like a body’s curve clad in sheer silk. A Schrödinger's image.* + +Why I can describe so well that which I cannot picture is another classic dilemma in my personal, crazy puzzle.[2] Regardless, I won’t elaborate on the image itself, but I’ll say it was a strong one. And yes, emotionally charged. Enjoyable, even.[3] + +Now of course, it has vanished. Startled by my mental clawing at it, my trying to drag it into full, glorious vision, it has dissolved. + +A grain of sand in the wind of time. Lost.[4] + +[That’s not *all* bad, though.](https://medium.com/@aronajones/frenetic-scribblings-18-living-in-the-moment-fe903df21ee0) + +All I can do is… + + +> **[wring] every ounce of experience out of every damn moment that I breath.**That’s turning out to to be a pretty sweet way to live.[5] + +[1] Self-quoting wasn’t…well..self-indulgent, was it? I feel uncomfortably like it was. + +[2] Excuse the metaphor — I certainly don’t mean to imply my mind is complex as in ‘smart’. More complex as in *pain in the arse*. + +[3] Get your mind out of the gutter![4] + +[4] Oh, was it just mine that was *in* the gutter to begin with? Damn… + +[4] Dammit. I really *was* enjoying that.[3] + +[5] Course, I’m not very good at it.[6] + +[7] Yet + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-07-chasing-the-edge.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-07-chasing-the-edge.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..267f001 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-07-chasing-the-edge.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,35 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Chasing the Edge" +date: 2018-07-07 +--- + + ![](/img/1*CoN8gAcwONSumYsaadY8HQ.jpeg)The Edge is that which lights. That which sets the blood pumping. That which sparks the soul. + +The Edge is the edge between life and death. + +Chasing the Edge leads to the Rush. + +The Rush is the fire lit from the Edge. The thump of heart pumping at the Edge. The blaze of soul sparked at the Edge. + +The Rush is adrenaline, nothing more — nothing less. + +It is also the only way I know how to *Live*. + +I don’t know how to feel other than the Rush. All I have is the Edge. + +The Edge makes me feel alive. Always have…always will… + +Of course, the thing about the Edge is it has to be dangerous. Else it wouldn’t *be *the Edge! + +Chasing the Rush is just like chasing the wind. Exciting, but ultimately futile. Each time it hits just a little less. Boosts just a little less. So I push closer to the Edge. One step, one step at a time. Chasing leaves on the breeze, head wired upwards. Couldn’t see the cliff coming up if I wanted to. + +Addiction. + +Addiction and…craving. + +I cannot feel satisfaction. Even at the Edge, there is no satisfaction. Always demand for MORE, MORE, *MORE*. Ever greater hits, ever greater heights. + +Sooner or later, it’ll kill me. Maybe then it’ll be satisfied. The Edge will have drawn the blood it demands. Maybe then *I’ll* be satisfied. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-08-clawmarks-on-my-memories.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-08-clawmarks-on-my-memories.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4c9462c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-08-clawmarks-on-my-memories.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Clawmarks on my memories" +date: 2018-07-08 +--- + + ![](/img/1*QiRpt7tqra3moEbFQwtsnA.jpeg)Photo by [Andy Tootell](https://unsplash.com/photos/oRhhb0f2Kic?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/scratch?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)One of the reasons I’m so *damn* good at living for the present is that I can’t remember the past. + +The instant a moment is gone it blurs, out of focus. Then it fades into the blackness. I can’t remember the mundane — what I had for lunch the other day, what movies I watched last week. Nor can I remember the special — the first kiss, the last heartbreak. It’s all gone. + +Faded out. + +I love it, and I *hate* it. I hate it, and I *love* it. + +It’s true that I can never be satisfied [without adrenaline](https://medium.com/frenetic-scribblings/chasing-the-edge-b473b3efd3e2). But that isn’t the whole picture. Satisfaction is underpinned by *memory*. I cannot be satisfied in what I have done when I cannot remember it. + +I am cursed to wander — to always chase more. Adrenaline, and everything else. I cannot learn from a past that is no longer mine. I cannot remember fondly a laugh shared. I cannot relive the pain of a past heartbreak. + +I cannot remember. + +No matter how hard I try to hold, the memories always slip away. No matter how fiercely I claw. I have to live for the here and now, because otherwise I ain’t got shit. + +I cannot remember. + +I love it. + +*I hate it.* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-ah--interesting.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-ah--interesting.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2961f14 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-ah--interesting.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Ah, interesting." +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + Ah, interesting. I didn’t think of that, though now you mention it I have heard of it…the example you brought up, actually. + +But even still, while my comment on how other people think may not be valid (how can it ever be, come to think of it…) the way that I think *may* still make sense… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-damn-right--can-t-put-it-better-than-that.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-damn-right--can-t-put-it-better-than-that.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0366249 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-damn-right--can-t-put-it-better-than-that.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Damn right! Can’t put it better than that!" +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + Damn *right*! Can’t put it better than that! + +‘YOLO’ still feels wrong to say, though… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-hrmph--i-always-have--and-continue--to-attempt-to-act-my-age--if-not-more-than-my-age-on--teh.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-hrmph--i-always-have--and-continue--to-attempt-to-act-my-age--if-not-more-than-my-age-on--teh.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fcd28be --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-hrmph--i-always-have--and-continue--to-attempt-to-act-my-age--if-not-more-than-my-age-on--teh.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Hrmph. I always have, and continue, to attempt to act my age, if not more than my age on ‘teh…" +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + Hrmph. I always have, and continue, to attempt to act my age, if not *more* than my age on ‘teh Interwebz’. + +… + +Why are you laughing?! + +…I’m being *serious*![1] + +Right, anyway. Point being I’m particularly insulted by that :P[2] + +And fair’s only fair, two can play at that game… + +Are you sure a person of your *advanced* years should be allowed unfettered access to the Internet? After all, this is a place for ‘filthy Millennials’[4] if the *Media* is to be believed… + +[1] Which is — classically — the case in point, and also the problem! + +[2] Not really[3] + +[3] *Mostly*…. + +[4] Not to mention *The Notorious Mr 4Chan* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-it-s-a-technicality-but-i-wouldn-t-say-you-can-equate-dreams-and-minds-eye-like-this.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-it-s-a-technicality-but-i-wouldn-t-say-you-can-equate-dreams-and-minds-eye-like-this.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b460e29 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-it-s-a-technicality-but-i-wouldn-t-say-you-can-equate-dreams-and-minds-eye-like-this.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "It’s a technicality but…I wouldn’t say you can equate dreams and minds eye like this." +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + It’s a technicality but…I wouldn’t say you can equate dreams and minds eye like this. That’s actually part of what makes this ‘condition’ so strange…I do still dream, vividly and even lucidly at that. But I still have a very definitely blind mind’s eye. + +Besides that… + +Fuck *that* noise! Nope nope *nope*! Keep that machine away from me, thanks very much! For **your** safety never*mind* mine… + +EDIT: Oh and…that’s what the ‘condition’ is…my visual recall is ‘short circuited’ so other bits of my brain light up instead. From what I’ve read, anyhow. So maybe the tech wouldn’t work right on me? Who knows! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-nice--image---p.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-nice--image---p.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d0d8027 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-nice--image---p.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Nice….image… :P" +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + +> cinematic visuals by impressionist paintersNice….*image*… :P + + +> But if I need to visualise rather than daydream, I’m capable of that when necessary.On the one hand I like being consigned to the present. On the other, what I wouldn’t give to be able to mentally pin up the happy memories…. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-oddly-enough--i-do-daydream.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-oddly-enough--i-do-daydream.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..89079e7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-oddly-enough--i-do-daydream.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Oddly enough, I do daydream." +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + Oddly enough, I *do *daydream. Not…in the ‘visual’ sense like…well…sleeping dreams…but I still do get wrapped in my own thoughts. All too often, in fact. + +Fact is about all of this is it’s difficult to describe and understand. Particularly with a relatively new(ly discovered) phenomena. Hell, til recently I didn’t realise other people *had* a mind’s eye! + +Hmm…yes…it probably will. Or…it may just print the word lists that I unsee in my head! :P + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-oh-man--not-long-ago-i-wouldn-t-have-understand-that--now-i-certainly-do.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-oh-man--not-long-ago-i-wouldn-t-have-understand-that--now-i-certainly-do.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ccb43d1 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-oh-man--not-long-ago-i-wouldn-t-have-understand-that--now-i-certainly-do.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Oh man. Not long ago I wouldn’t have understand that. Now I certainly do." +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + Oh man. Not long ago I wouldn’t have understand that. Now I *certainly* do. + +I am not who I was, in the philosophical sense but mostly in the sense I have been reinvented recently. Several times. It’s odd to look back…insofar as I *can *look back*. *After all, *that’s* the whole drive of this accidental series! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-oi.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-oi.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6ac0c94 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-oi.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "OI!" +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + OI! + +…Actually, now that you mention it… o.O + +:P + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-psh--who-needs-real-people--and-the-real-world-can-get-fucked-too.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-psh--who-needs-real-people--and-the-real-world-can-get-fucked-too.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9de70b9 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-psh--who-needs-real-people--and-the-real-world-can-get-fucked-too.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Psh, who needs real people! And the real world can get fucked too!!" +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + Psh, who needs real people! And the real world can get fucked too!! + +Hm….there may be a minor flaw in the logic there. Maybe :p + +Carpe Jugulum indeed! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-so-precisely-how-my-memory--doesn-t--works--then.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-so-precisely-how-my-memory--doesn-t--works--then.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3485557 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-so-precisely-how-my-memory--doesn-t--works--then.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "So…precisely how my memory (doesn’t) works, then!" +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + So…precisely how my memory (doesn’t) works, then! + +Though yes…I didn’t say it was easy, only…easier than imagining how someone else might think. + +It’s something that’s been plaguing me recently, actually. Even if I could experience all there is to experience, which I obviously *can’t*….I still wouldn’t experience everything. Because I only got one perspective. It can flex, but not change. Not as such. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-thanks-for-the-vote-of-confidence--d.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-thanks-for-the-vote-of-confidence--d.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..111cd02 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-thanks-for-the-vote-of-confidence--d.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Thanks for the vote of confidence :D" +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + +> If you’ve said it before and you’re happy with the way you said it then, by all means, re-use it as is.Thanks for the vote of confidence :D + + +> accompanied the sound of footsteps out of sight …Oh I hadn’t thought of it like that (obviously). I like *that* image. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-that-is-the-general-idea.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-that-is-the-general-idea.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f09c59b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-that-is-the-general-idea.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That is the general idea." +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + That is the general idea. + +Predictably by now (I should hope) it doesn’t make *sense*. + +Although, as I touch on somewhere in this impromptu series…maybe it does. I ‘think in lists’ — whereas most people think in images and then have to translate it, I require no such step! Would certainly explain my tendency to appear as if I’ve swallowed (consumed, devoured, gorged on) a thesaurus… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-well-said--and-i-think-you-re-very-much-right---for-what-that-s-worth.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-well-said--and-i-think-you-re-very-much-right---for-what-that-s-worth.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c620efb --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-well-said--and-i-think-you-re-very-much-right---for-what-that-s-worth.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Well said, and I think you’re very much right — for what that’s worth." +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + Well said, and I think you’re very much right — for what that’s worth. I certainly am, at the very least!* + +*Not that I’m the greatest example of well…anything :P + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-yeah-i-m-quite-proud-of-that-description--to-be-honest.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-yeah-i-m-quite-proud-of-that-description--to-be-honest.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..122a057 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-yeah-i-m-quite-proud-of-that-description--to-be-honest.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yeah…I’m quite proud of that description, to be honest." +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + Yeah…I’m quite proud of that description, to be honest. + +Wow…that piece is…fantastic. + +I know the exact feeling of being ‘written through’ as opposed to writing. ‘Automatic writing’ doesn’t sound quite right to me. Labels aside, it’s a strange and oddly intoxicating feeling, I find… + +Wide awake subconscious…hm…yes. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-10-yes--yolo-has-connotations--now-normally-i-love-connotations--but-not-those-ones.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-10-yes--yolo-has-connotations--now-normally-i-love-connotations--but-not-those-ones.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8c86258 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-10-yes--yolo-has-connotations--now-normally-i-love-connotations--but-not-those-ones.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yes. YOLO has…connotations. Now normally I love connotations, but not those ones." +date: 2018-07-10 +--- + + Yes. YOLO has…*connotations*. Now normally I love connotations, but not *those* ones. + +Latin isn’t ideal either, but it’s better than YOLO. They are two sides of the same coin at the end of the day, though… + +But carpe jugulum is better than either! ;P + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-11-before-reality-outstrips-it--you-mean.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-11-before-reality-outstrips-it--you-mean.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c6e7223 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-11-before-reality-outstrips-it--you-mean.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Before reality outstrips it, you mean?" +date: 2018-07-11 +--- + + Before reality outstrips it, you mean? + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-11-grass-is-always-greener.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-11-grass-is-always-greener.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..05284c2 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-11-grass-is-always-greener.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Grass is always greener!" +date: 2018-07-11 +--- + + Grass is always greener! + +And…I haven’t actually seen Black Mirror yet. I really do need to get around to that…! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-11-well-yes--if-i-were-in-someone-else-s-head-i-d-be--them--and-therefore-it-d-be-my-head--making-the.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-11-well-yes--if-i-were-in-someone-else-s-head-i-d-be--them--and-therefore-it-d-be-my-head--making-the.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f39d21c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-11-well-yes--if-i-were-in-someone-else-s-head-i-d-be--them--and-therefore-it-d-be-my-head--making-the.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Well yes. If I were in someone else’s head I’d be *them* and therefore it’d be my head, making the…" +date: 2018-07-11 +--- + + Well yes. If I were in someone else’s head I’d be *them* and therefore it’d be my head, making the whole thing moot. Which just makes the whole thing even weirder to think about, imho. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-11-yeah-perhaps-perspective-wasn-t-the-best-choice-of-word.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-11-yeah-perhaps-perspective-wasn-t-the-best-choice-of-word.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7c6464f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-11-yeah-perhaps-perspective-wasn-t-the-best-choice-of-word.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yeah…perhaps perspective wasn’t the best choice of word." +date: 2018-07-11 +--- + + Yeah…perhaps perspective wasn’t the best choice of word. + +More specifically it’s the idea I will never ‘see from behind someone else’s eyes’. If that phrase makes sense to anyone beside me, anyway. + +Well, apart from in the aforementioned sense that I am not who I was nor will be! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-11.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-11.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..28b590f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-11.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "…" +date: 2018-07-11 +--- + + … + +… + +Oh god. And I thought it was complicated before O.o + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-23-medium-ate-this-response--as-it-is-wont-to-do--but-better-late-than-never.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-23-medium-ate-this-response--as-it-is-wont-to-do--but-better-late-than-never.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fd55738 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-23-medium-ate-this-response--as-it-is-wont-to-do--but-better-late-than-never.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,23 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Medium ate this response, as it is wont to do. But better late than never…" +date: 2018-07-23 +--- + + Medium ate this response, as it is wont to do. But better late than never… + +Yes…yes you were/are very right. Good image, too. + +I went down on the new bike recently (right side, fortunately…as we’ve discussed previous) and it has ‘reset the clock’ so to speak. Redosed me with fear. + +The call of the Edge is no less strong, I’m just better able to resist. For now. + +It always draws me back. Always. + +And as you say, by its very nature, it requires a greater and greater hit each time. + +An endless razorblade…another good image. Food for thought indeed… + +Course, I’m sure I don’t need to clarify I’m just gonna chase *anyway* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-23-they-are-the-dreameater-moths.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-23-they-are-the-dreameater-moths.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..58be7a2 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-23-they-are-the-dreameater-moths.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "They are the dreameater moths" +date: 2018-07-23 +--- + + ![](/img/1*RZnY_kyFebNwwVE6sMJA6g.jpeg)Photo by [Timo Vijn](https://unsplash.com/photos/P8MrF0r4YUU?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/moth?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Fluttering in the edgewise gap between this world and the fantasy realm + +Quivering ominously on gauzy nebula-wings they chitter wordlessly + +They are the dreameater moths + +Nibbling holes in aspirations, chewing up hopes + +Warbling all the while + +Half-eaten ambitions, devoured desires + +They feast, and they sing + +Consuming delusion and delight alike + +Strange songs, these make — strange songs from strange beasts + +They are the dreameater moths + +Protect yours from them + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-24-god-damn--i-never-thought-of-that-connection.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-24-god-damn--i-never-thought-of-that-connection.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..74ef4d2 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-24-god-damn--i-never-thought-of-that-connection.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,17 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "God damn. I never thought of that connection." +date: 2018-07-24 +--- + + God damn. I never thought of that connection. + +Extreme sports and self harm. Damn. Damn damn damn why did I not see that before. It makes so much sense now… + +I choose a day on my feet, in a heartbeat. + +The day I kneel is the day I die, even if only on the inside.. + +And that’s what counts, is it not… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-24-prising-open-a-deathgrip.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-24-prising-open-a-deathgrip.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..810215b --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-24-prising-open-a-deathgrip.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Prising open a deathgrip" +date: 2018-07-24 +--- + + ![](/img/1*LJDT9x9mGOXZfzdVLiDGqw.jpeg)Photo by [Oladimeji Odunsi](https://unsplash.com/photos/e-TuK4z2LhY?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/grip?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I live in the present. What else can I do, when[ I have no memory](https://medium.com/frenetic-scribblings/flickering-like-candle-flame-in-the-wind-3ac0c9537402). + +Look to the future? Psh. I am indeed prone to daydreaming about what *might be *but there’s no inherent danger in that. Not while I keep it in check. + +No. My problem is clinging to the present. Not to the past, to the present. + +I do not give up that which I have. Not without a fight. Not without deep [clawmarks on every fading memory](https://medium.com/frenetic-scribblings/clawmarks-on-my-memories-4bcb9cdf49c5). + +As a result…I take loss badly. I flat out fear it. I don’t like to look forward too far, and I can’t look back so…I hold tight to what I have. There’s a damn good reason I fear death so bad. This is a — large — part of it. + +The thing about holding tightly is that it smothers… + +By nature, I death grip at slivers of life. It makes me possessive. It makes me…intense. It makes me suffocating. + +But without a memory, I don’t know how to let go. I’ve got to though, otherwise I always kill that which I’m trying to preserve. + +I refuse to let myself love like this. I don’t know how to love lightly. And anything else isn’t really love. Not the crushing fake-image attachment that I previously labelled love. I struggle with the ‘L word’ in general at the moment. Not least because [I’ve had it subverted before.](https://medium.com/myfuckingfeelings/an-acidic-introduction-to-hate-love-c275655eb869) + +Maybe I’ve learnt enough lessons…maybe I’m lucky in that regard…but that’s a story for another time… + +Now, a note that my insufferably sincere side refuses to let me omit. This is a public self reflection (standalone piece on the whys of that coming whenever it frees from draft hell) made while mildly tipsy. Caution advised. + +But I suppose, isn’t honesty the best policy in writing? I don’t know. I don’t know if I know anything anymore…Maybe that’s okay. + +Well, rambling now. Goodnight! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-25-footnotes-1---me-3---never--7.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-25-footnotes-1---me-3---never--7.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..004959f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-25-footnotes-1---me-3---never--7.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,57 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Footnotes[1]? Me[3]? Never.[7]" +date: 2018-07-25 +--- + + Footnotes[1]? Me[3]? Never.[7] + +Seriously though. Flying spaghetti monster tentai?! That’s Rule 34[19] for you[4] I suppose… + +[1] I am persistently reminded, whenever I see the word ‘footnote’, of Sir Terry[2]. Which is decidedly melancholy.[5] (Because of [2] Otherwise it would be wonderful!) + +[2] GNU STP + +[3] No, you [4] + +[4] Yes, you[14] + +[5] Or at the very least, bittersweet. As so many things are…[6] + +[6] Such is Life, I suppose[2] + +[7] Okay, perhaps I have been known to use one or two[8][9] + +[8] …a couple, at most.[9] + +[9] Several[10][11] + +[10] Okaaaay, lots[11] + +[11] In actual fact it appears I’ve succumbed fully to the footnote[1] infection.[12][13] + +[12] If I hadn’t already, this was certainly the last straw.[13] + +[13] Although, this is all very linear…at the moment…[17] + +[14] Speaking of *you[16] *how the devil do you make the footnotes[1] actually superscript, rather than the silly square bracket nonsense?[15] + +[15] Yes, I know I could Google it.[3] + +[16] I seem to have been doing rather a lot of that lately. Absence makes the…nah. Definitely not! Just happenstance… + +[17] Please do note the irony in the footnote[1] about linearity[18] being part of a diverging. Did I really need to point that out? I should hope not. + +[18] TIL that that’s a word! + +[19] 34, of course, being the only apparent rule of the Internet… + +I could have carried on for ages but to be quite frank I just can’t be *bothered* anymore… + +EDIT: An aside[1][2] — this is the only time Medium has auto tagged properly. Curious. + +[1] Not a footnote + +[2] Should footnotes reset down here? Probably. But I want to refer to the previous ones so…maybe not. Bah. Anyway… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-25-hmm.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-25-hmm.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1cf9025 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-25-hmm.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,19 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Hmm" +date: 2018-07-25 +--- + + Hmm + +So…like this¹ then? Aha! Excellent. + +That is odd indeed — I thought Medium only used straight Markdown, but that’s a custom syntax. + +The LTMGF/RTFM prevailing attitude is decidedly unhelpful sometimes, as you eloquently explain. + +As for other news…Yes. I feel justified using ‘inclusive or’ here, since fucking starving necessitates hungry. + +As for cigarettes…bad habit indeed, although one I only narrowly dodged. Glad to hear you found the willpower — I don’t think I ever could. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-07-30-well-well-well--most-excellent.markdown b/_posts/2018-07-30-well-well-well--most-excellent.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..820a489 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-07-30-well-well-well--most-excellent.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Well well well. Most excellent." +date: 2018-07-30 +--- + + Well well well. Most excellent. + +Also — tagged and loaded. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-08-08-at-first-i-was-ashamed-having-to-google-those-names.markdown b/_posts/2018-08-08-at-first-i-was-ashamed-having-to-google-those-names.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c8685e8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-08-08-at-first-i-was-ashamed-having-to-google-those-names.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "At first I was ashamed having to google those names." +date: 2018-08-08 +--- + + At first I was ashamed having to google those names. Seeing that they’re in horror, not so much anymore. I tend to stay away from all things horror. For your¹ safety. + +Regardless, disturbing was what I was going for! + +¹ Yes you + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-08-08-that-s-a-damn-good-rule-of-thumb.markdown b/_posts/2018-08-08-that-s-a-damn-good-rule-of-thumb.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5017461 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-08-08-that-s-a-damn-good-rule-of-thumb.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That’s a damn good rule of thumb." +date: 2018-08-08 +--- + + That’s a damn good rule of thumb. Reading that back, that piece passes the test. Nevertheless, I felt the need at the time for a disclaimer. Part of it is I still take myself far too seriously… + +Thanks for the advice. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-08-08-when-i-say-research-i-do-just-mean-sticking-their-name-into-google-and-glancing-at-it.markdown b/_posts/2018-08-08-when-i-say-research-i-do-just-mean-sticking-their-name-into-google-and-glancing-at-it.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a64710d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-08-08-when-i-say-research-i-do-just-mean-sticking-their-name-into-google-and-glancing-at-it.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "When I say research I do just mean sticking their name into google and glancing at it…." +date: 2018-08-08 +--- + + When I say research I do just mean sticking their name into google and glancing at it…. + +Regardless, I clearly do need better sources. Though it is entirely possible I’ve read some Bradbury, or even some Barker, without realising. Or more than likely for me — *remembering*. + +I need better sources, and to read better books, apparently! + +…wait, one of those includes the other, come to think of it… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-08-15-stupid-digital-systems-easy-to-hack.markdown b/_posts/2018-08-15-stupid-digital-systems-easy-to-hack.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1a7910e --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-08-15-stupid-digital-systems-easy-to-hack.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,56 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Stupid digital systems…easy to hack…" +date: 2018-08-15 +--- + + ![](/img/1*FhWPUrVYI2Kz-CqkMHHHfQ.jpeg)Cliche, I know… Photo by [Samuel Zeller](https://unsplash.com/photos/VPnmmVSJy1M?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/hack?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)A little while ago, the label ‘Transhumanist’ dropped out of my bio. I say ‘dropped out’ because that’s what it was — pushed aside for lack of space. I didn’t *remove* the label, just tucked it away. + +Now I’m taking it off. In actual fact, I’d now like to sign up to be a Luddite… + +…okay, not *quite *but… + +I have looked into the Mirror and the Mirror looked back. A smashed Mirror. A smashed Mirror, lightless and dull. A Mirror, Black. Black as yawning void. A…Black Mirror.¹ + +Black Mirror is a good TV series from a critical standpoint. Good tension, twists and that. But never mind all that bollox. + +It’s also good…nay…great, because it makes you *think*. In my particular case, it helped me make some connections, realise some things, I now feel scarily stupid for not realising before. + +One thing in particular: + + +> Stupid digital systems…easy to hackObviously. + +There is no such thing as a secure digital system. It just doesn’t exist. Security is never foolproof. But — correct me if I’m wrong — analogue security has been, is, and likely always will be, far more secure than digital counterparts.³ + +The obvious connection, that hit me like a halfbrick to the face⁴ ⁵, is that this applies to *all *digital systems. + +*Including* those hypothetical systems Transhumanists so vehemently advocate for…let’s see now…advanced cybernetics, brain implants, digital conciousness/mind upload. The list goes on. And on. + +Visual implants hacked to show a false picture of the world. To twist reality without you even knowing. + +Digital clones — copies, yes, but still *real* humans in a somewhat twisted sense — hijacked. Tortured. Put to work. Executed, on loop. + +These are just a few of the possibilities Black Mirror explores. The possibilities for bad actors to exploit digital systems — as the line between technology and humanity blurs — are frankly terrifying. + +That’s what Black Mirror thoroughly, effectively, *deftly* explores.⁷ It helped me make a connection I don’t know *how *I didn’t make before. It allowed me to reflect on my own folly and led to me dropping the label Transhumanist. Likely for good. And to, more directly than usual, me writing this. Point being…nothing is secure. *Nothing.* + +In particular — let’s not forget the bees. Oh **GOD** the *bees*. + +¹ Over the top? Me? *Never²* + +² **Always** + +³ After all…what do you do to make a digital system more secure? *Disconnect.* + +⁴ GNU STP + +⁵ Not a Pratchett quote persay, it just felt…Prachetesque⁶ + +⁶Pratchettian? *Sure* I’ve had this debate before… + +⁷ That’s a pretty glowing recommendation by anyone’s standards. But when you account for my usual apathy graduating to cynicism…just do yourself a favour and *watch it*.⁸ + +⁸ That said, prepare to be…well…‘creeped out’ + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-08-16-indebted-to-hate.markdown b/_posts/2018-08-16-indebted-to-hate.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..24b64fc --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-08-16-indebted-to-hate.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,67 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Indebted to hate" +date: 2018-08-16 +--- + + ![](/img/1*MYTIpS96DEqAFAZMb5wigA.jpeg)Photo by [Alex Iby](https://unsplash.com/photos/5cTvUcsrzLU?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/hate?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)I previously described in [my *fucking* feelings](https://medium.com/myfuckingfeelings/an-acidic-introduction-to-hate-love-c275655eb869) the pivot point of my life to date. + +The knife through the heart about which I spin, if you will. + +Whether discovery or reformation, that experience and those adjacent changed me fundamentally. It was a exemplar case of what is becoming, for better or worse³, my brand. Perfectly Awful. + +Wrong place. Wrong time. Wrong person. + +Wrong relationship. + +So very wrong that… + +… + +… + +You thought I might say so many wrongs made a right, didn’t you. + +Hell no. Life Is Shit. All the wrongs made a worse. I skipped right along into [the minefield](https://medium.com/@aronajones/they-are-supposed-to-be-minefield-warning-flags-not-mile-markers-note-to-self-remember-that-f9748ced9286). I even had the audacity to be *surprised* when it blew up in my face! + +But, those wrongs did make a write. *(Sorry!¹)* + +Without all of that, all of that raucous emotion, I’d have nothing to write about. But I also wouldn’t have thought to write to begin with. + +That is what I mean when I say indebted to hate. I am who I am *because* of what She did. No. What We did. + +You see, while we flew we dreamed. There it is again… Flew. + +Together we built a beautiful fantasy. Doomed — as all fantasies are — to [shattering](https://medium.com/frenetic-scribblings/we-fell-too-hard-too-fast-83d79fb4680c) on slightest brush with reality…but bear with me a moment. + +A fantasy in which we found our wings. Flew together, slew our daemons together. On wings of fire we fought and won. Ever together. + +A fantasy we dreamed together. The very best writing ever to flow from my fingers. The very **very** best. + +That’s why it hurt so damn much when we crashed. + +Because in reality we never had… Anything. We were two people dating a little bit, then it didn’t work out. Happens all the time. Just a part of life. What we lost in reality… Ain’t shit. + +It was the collapse of the skies that hurt. The burning out of the flame that we’d mutually kindled. We’d lived a thousand lives in our words. + +A fundamentally unsustainable thing to do. Deeply toxic even. And I see that now. But at the time it was Perfect. + +Maybe she didn’t even realise how much the world we built meant to me. Means to me. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t. + +I may have lost what we had together but I have not lost what we created. I still remember. How could I hope to forget. + +I suppose, if I wanted to be optimistic, it means I could remember how to fly. + +I shall leave you with word of Hers. Words I, for better or worse³, will always carry with me. + +*The best way out is always through. Angels got their halos walking through the fires of hell.* + +¹ Am I ever⸮² + +² [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony\_punctuation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony_punctuation) + +³ All⁴ swords must have their two edges, after all… + +⁴ Yes I know about katanas and the various others. Don’t get pedantic with me here. It’s *metaphor*, see. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-06-for-fuck-s-sake.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-06-for-fuck-s-sake.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e6436fc --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-06-for-fuck-s-sake.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "For fuck’s sake." +date: 2018-09-06 +--- + + For *fuck’s* sake. + +Why can’t I take myself — and *writing — *this insincerely.¹ I love it. + +¹ Yes yes, I know I just *can*. But…is it that simple, *really*? + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-15-first-off-apologies-for-the-glacially-slow-response---in-between-camping-and-prepping-for-uni----i.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-15-first-off-apologies-for-the-glacially-slow-response---in-between-camping-and-prepping-for-uni----i.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e36c752 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-15-first-off-apologies-for-the-glacially-slow-response---in-between-camping-and-prepping-for-uni----i.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,85 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "First off apologies for the glacially slow response — in between camping and prepping for uni¹ ² I…" +date: 2018-09-15 +--- + + First off apologies for the glacially slow response — in between camping and prepping for uni¹ ² I haven’t had a hot minute to respond, much less write anything. + +Anyway… + +This is why — despite all appearances, and indeed *protests *— you’re a decent guy Angel. You took the time to respond to a half-drunk offhand response with a measured and thoughtful one of your own. Okay, maybe decent isn’t the right word (you can stop giving me the evils now) but definitely at least…engaging. :D + + +> my *ideas* may be wrong but that doesn’t mean *I’m* ‘wrong’Damn right. That separation is very important, and one I’m still learning. I’m young, I suppose.³ + + +> Just a wrong’*un* ; DDamn right-*er. *;D + + +> there are plenty of other people writing far better worded things than I do, so I leave it to themPerhaps I should do the same, since I’m never close to happy with my own sincere work. I’m often much happier with my more poetic or insincere ventures. Hmm. + +In all likelihood it’ll be business as usual, with overly sincere and dramatic musings interspersed with the aforementioned. Who knows! Not *me*, that’s for sure. + + +> which would explain a great deal of my output, don’t you think? +> Yeah but… +> latent sadistic streak and poor impulse controlMe *too* + + +> But I keep plugging away at it on the basis that, just occasionally, I unearth a gem that was worth the digging.If this ain’t a mood I don’t know what is. That’s what the kids say these days isn’t it?⁴ + +Anyway…all of that was similar to my musing above, but better worded. Ironic, really. + +I’ll just pull out one bit here… + + +> all still a work in progress that I suspect will never end because I’ll never master itThat’s…Life, ain’t it? + +*Only in death does progress end*, or something like that?⁵ + + +> Write in your own voice, not what you think (others think) it ought to be.Well said, says I! + + +> Douglas Adams and Terry PratchettSame here, and proudly so.⁶ + +As for the rest of those names, I clearly need an education. That previous reading list you gave me is carefully saved…to my Medium reading list, appropriately enough. I’m more than likely to read things from that list rather than my university set texts… + + +> hence the italics for emphasisSomething I’ve wantonly stol..adopted. What was it you said once? Theft is the best form of flattery? + + +> which I‘m told is fairly unique … so, all’s well that ends badly after all, eh?Quite so. I’m told my writing is unique — but most echo my school English teacher in inflecting that as a negative. + + +> If you’re stuck for an idea, try writing something in someone *else’s* voiceOoh now that’s interesting. I must try that…but more than likely it’ll just get stuck in draft hell with my other dreck. + + +> I also tend to go a bit meta/recursive/self-referential too **²** …Just a bit. + + +> Oh … and a bit pseudo-wannabe *Zen* as well — C.f. the above post.As in *Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, *as in what I’m reading at the minute? Or am I dead wrong? + + +> Alternatively, you could read stuff by people who know what they’re doing and can actually write ; DExcellent, another reading list!⁹ Except this time I know many of the names already :D I shall peruse the others whenever I get a damn minute to myself… + +¹ Not at the same time + +² Decided on Philosophy in the end, although I may well still switch to Psychology *if* I get the chance. + +³ Maybe not any more…twenty next week.⁴ + +⁴ Am old. ***Help!*** + +⁵ Never thought I’d twist a WH40k quote into something positive-*ish…* + +⁶ GNU STP⁷ + +⁷ Yes, I do that every time his name is mentioned. I’ll be damned if I don’t do my part to keep him alive in the Clacks.⁸ + +⁸ Poor bastard’s probably screaming *‘Just let me fucking die already’* by now… + +⁹ In case that ended up coming off sarcastic, as I often feel I do, know that I meant it sincerely! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-17-i-want-to-know-the-whole-world-like-the-back-of-my-hand.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-17-i-want-to-know-the-whole-world-like-the-back-of-my-hand.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d9e341a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-17-i-want-to-know-the-whole-world-like-the-back-of-my-hand.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I want to know the whole world like the back of my hand" +date: 2018-09-17 +--- + + #### Probably an unreasonable dream for someone who still gets lost in their home city + +![](/img/1*QdVtRjmMclYd8LXPZrR1aQ.jpeg)I’d love to go someplace new and instinctually know it like a local. The Internet, with its maps, blogs, tips and tricks — helps a lot. But it’s clunky, touristy. + +I wish the maps, the tips, all of it, was all in my head. + +*I want to know the whole world like the back of my hand* + +Could you imagine? The amount of life you could drink in if everywhere was instantly, seamlessly laid bare to you? + +I can. It’d be *a bit* *rubbish*, actually. + +It would destroy the magic of exploration. Of discovery — sifting gems from the shit. + +After all that’s why we travel, isn’t it? The places we *are* local to, they aren’t fun anymore, are they? So if we were local to the whole world, why bother? + +But, I *do* wish I could remember all that I discover. In fact I wish I could return to any place I’d ever been and guide others through it deftly, and I wish others could do the same for me. + +I’d say that’s the perfect balance between the magic of exploration and drinking all life has to offer. All wistful thinking of course — I don’t remember IF I ate breakfast today, much less what it may or may not have been. + +Besides — speaking of drinking, it’s definetly time for another Guiness. When in Ro… Ireland, ey? + +Maybe it *would* be nice to have a seventh sense for the best bars around… + +Or just bars in general. That’d do me! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-17-ladies-and-gentlefolk--do-you-want-to-save-a-life.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-17-ladies-and-gentlefolk--do-you-want-to-save-a-life.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5740221 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-17-ladies-and-gentlefolk--do-you-want-to-save-a-life.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,53 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Ladies and Gentlefolk, do you want to save a life?" +date: 2018-09-17 +--- + + #### A moment of your time, if you would… + +![](/img/1*2J4xTO7JYBYA3dcMwwGSlw.jpeg) +> TL;DR: Please read the whole post but if you really can’t — It would mean a lot to me if you’d consider sponsoring me in the Gentleman’s Ride — more info here: **30/09/18** + +*Hundreds *of countries. + +*Tens of thousands* of classic bikes and best-dressed riders. + +*Millions *raised for the noble cause of men’s health, mental and physical. + +30th September is the Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride — and on that day I will proudly become one of the tens of thousands across the globe. + +This cause is one all too close to my heart — as you may well know, I’ve already suffered my own struggles with mental health. + +[**A story I never thought I could tell — a confession and a plea** +*A simple heart inscribed in midnight black ink on a lover’s skin. An innocuous question heralding a world-shattering…*medium.com](https://medium.com/frenetic-scribblings/a-story-i-never-thought-i-could-tell-a-confession-and-a-plea-472f4aa88bd6 "https://medium.com/frenetic-scribblings/a-story-i-never-thought-i-could-tell-a-confession-and-a-plea-472f4aa88bd6")[](https://medium.com/frenetic-scribblings/a-story-i-never-thought-i-could-tell-a-confession-and-a-plea-472f4aa88bd6)The simple fact is, mental health awareness is sorely lacking. Let alone treatment. For men it is even worse. + +I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… + +[**ICYMI: Tattoos are bigger than suicide.** +*Thousands of people are tweeting about ink, while less than fifty are talking about male suicide. 12 men a day in the…*medium.com](https://medium.com/@aronajones/icymi-tattoos-are-bigger-than-suicide-3db4a9b1775f "https://medium.com/@aronajones/icymi-tattoos-are-bigger-than-suicide-3db4a9b1775f")[](https://medium.com/@aronajones/icymi-tattoos-are-bigger-than-suicide-3db4a9b1775f)In the UK, suicide is the **SINGLE BIGGEST** killer of men under 45. + +I don’t know what to call that other than *bullshit*. + +Yes, bullshit. It’s bullshit that that statistic is anywhere near as high as it is. It’s bullshit that this isn’t splashed across national news every damned day. It’s bullshit because *we need to do better*. + +That’s without even starting to mention the other battle the Ride fights — any battle with cancer is worth supporting. + +If you’re a rider, I’d strongly encourage you to swing a leg over for this — but you almost certainly don’t need encouraging! + +In short… + +Friends! Followers! Family! Strangers! + +*Ladies and Gentlefolk,* + +Do you want to save a life? + +Please, please, please, join me. + +Lend me your voices, your spare change. Let’s fight to end the stigma of mental health, and against the wraith of cancer. + +[**Arona Jones** +*This year I am taking part in The Distinguished Gentleman's Ride to raise funds and awareness for mens health and…*www.gentlemansride.com](https://www.gentlemansride.com/rider/AronaJones "https://www.gentlemansride.com/rider/AronaJones")[](https://www.gentlemansride.com/rider/AronaJones)Don’t do it for *me*. Do it for your uncles, brothers, fathers, friends. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-17-mm--very-true.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-17-mm--very-true.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..89183bc --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-17-mm--very-true.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,65 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Mm, very true." +date: 2018-09-17 +--- + + +> time has no meaning here.Mm, very true. I dunno, I just feel the need to apologise. Probably something to do with the fact it really is glacially slow by my normally microsecond response time… + +Still undecided on if I need to do something about that. + + +> Maybe so but, tell anyone that and I’ll have you shaved, neutered and destroyed.Sorry to break it to you but I just told literally the entire world. + +…Okay, not exactly but…It’s there, and cannot be deleted now. Such is the rules of the Internet — no doubt you know better than I. + + +> And you were doing so *well* until then too … ; PHeh. Heh. Heh. + + +> “Sick set, bruv” and “Bare peng music, cuz” + + +> ,̶ ̶”̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶r̶t̶i̶o̶n̶”̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶”̶O̶h̶,̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶G̶o̶d̶,̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶’̶r̶e̶ ̶H̶U̶G̶E̶!̶”̶/ + + +> I say … steady on — there are ladies present!There are? Well in that case I certainly won’t… + + +> Dunno … I reckon Brexiters are living proof that Evolution is, after all, only a theory ; )Mm… + + +> The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter — Winston Churchill, I’m fairly certain +> You’re young … and have time.Young, yes. Time, no. None of us have time, none of us have any time at all. We are but a blink of an eye…of course, you doubt remind yourself of this more often than I do. Or maybe not — since I’m getting to swing a leg over daily at the moment. Either way, it can’t hurt to reiterate. + + +> Read your university reading list and more besides, young man — your success depends upon it! Yes, *grand*father… + +>:D + + +> G.K. Chesterton would never amount to anything either — so, you’re in good company.Quite so. + + +> Maybe … but maybe something will arise from it at some point as well, even if not in *that* piece — it’s *all* practice.This is very true. Very true indeed. Nothing’s perfect, and that. + + +> *Something* like that, yes …:D + + +> Do whichever engages you most — if it *doesn’t*, you won’t actually *do* it.Better stick with Philosophy I think then. Still not sure I’ll *do *it, gotta wait and see… + + +> If only I’d know then, how young forty was, I’d’ve laughed in sheer delight at how much more youth I had ahead of me — mind you, I’ll probably say the same about sixty when I’m ninety ; )That’s gratifying to hear. + + +> But hindsight is *ever* 20:20, is it not?Damn right. + + +> Shit … does that thing still work in FF Quantum?The Clacks Overhead server tag, or the plugin? No idea on either. But the tag should remain, no matter what. + + +> (you have much potential, young p̶e̶s̶h̶w̶a̶r̶i̶ ̶p̶o̶p̶a̶d̶o̶m̶ padawan ; )Got there in the end! ;D Well well. Glad to hear you say so. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-19-ae-now-who-s-the-cheeky-fecker--i-know-i-have-a-baby-face-but-30s---c-mon.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-19-ae-now-who-s-the-cheeky-fecker--i-know-i-have-a-baby-face-but-30s---c-mon.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2d33cb9 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-19-ae-now-who-s-the-cheeky-fecker--i-know-i-have-a-baby-face-but-30s---c-mon.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Ae now who’s the cheeky fecker? I know I have a baby face but 30s?? C’mon!" +date: 2018-09-19 +--- + + +> and will continue to do so well into your thirties ; PAe now who’s the cheeky fecker? I know I have a baby face but 30s?? C’mon! + + +> Got there in the end, eh? ; )Oh, always + + +> if you’re not prepared to back your argument up with violence, you don’t really mean it .. and should go away and re-think your position.Just when I thought your influence couldn’t get any worse ;D + +It is a damn good point though. And those lines are gold, I’ll be making heavy use of them. + + +> You can 'find yourself' in India or Thailand or wherever.I do want to buy a POS motorcycle and ride it around India one day someday soon.. + + +> I can’t imagine how awful it must be to have to wait until you’re forty/fifty to do all the things that are funDamn right. The only thing I haven’t got time for is waiting, as I think I’ve said before. + + +> My talents are wasted on you, aren’t they?Well do excuse me for assuming an OAP such as yourself may genuinely not heard of this newfangled *Stair Wars…* + +(seriously though IDK why the feck I was being sincere there. Seems stupid how) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-19-far-down--this-chain-is-barely-getting-started.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-19-far-down--this-chain-is-barely-getting-started.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ecf4749 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-19-far-down--this-chain-is-barely-getting-started.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Far down? This chain is barely getting started!" +date: 2018-09-19 +--- + + Far down? This chain is barely getting started! + +And yeah, the quoting thing is a bit of a pain in the arse for responder and reader alike but… We ain’t got much of a better system. + +If it’s broke and you can’t fix it, feck it! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-19-not-at-all--that-sigh-was-directed-firmly-at-today-s-youth---which-i-have-just-left--at-last.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-19-not-at-all--that-sigh-was-directed-firmly-at-today-s-youth---which-i-have-just-left--at-last.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..85bdc43 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-19-not-at-all--that-sigh-was-directed-firmly-at-today-s-youth---which-i-have-just-left--at-last.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Not at all, that sigh was directed firmly at today’s youth — which I have just left. At last!" +date: 2018-09-19 +--- + + +> Laid it on too thick with old sarcasm t̶r̶o̶w̶e̶l̶ shovel, did I?Not at all, that sigh was directed firmly at today’s youth — which I have just left. At last! + + +> Does that mean what I think it does, you cheap slut?Damn right it does! Sometimes happiness is as simple as an open road. + +…wait what were *you* talking about? + +… Oh. Oh yeah. That too, often enough. But that sort of thing reminds one of something very different to mortality! So it’s all beside the tip… Er, point. + + +> About old enough to be your father, I am ... but not your grandfather, you cheeky git.Definetly old enough if the poorly censored quotes earlier are anything to go by ;D + +Heh heh heh. + + +> You’re on to a right scam there — don’t forget to ask people if they want fries with your argument (that’ll go down well in seminars and tutorial groups ; P)That’s the general idea. Not only is it intresting-ish, it’s total bollox… And my speciality is in total bollox! :P + +Welp. I’m gonna use that line every chance I get now… And it’s all your fault! + + +> — ‘middle aged’ doesn’t star until around fifty-odd these daysAye — though I’ve got the ‘mid life crisis’ on lock… Actually that’s wrong isn’t it. What constitutes a mid life crisis is buying things you had or always wanted when you were younger — like motorcycles. So I’ve just jumped the gun… Pulled the trigger… Shot my shot. Now there’s no going back, ride or die! + + +> Yeah ... Star Trek ... Star Wars ... Doctor Who ... something like that — Aura would know. well at least you knew the right person to ask. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-20-powerful-piece.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-20-powerful-piece.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9484609 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-20-powerful-piece.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Powerful piece." +date: 2018-09-20 +--- + + Powerful piece. It seems so obvious now you laid it out to me (a definite hallmark of excellent writing about a ‘true truth’) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-25.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-25.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..386b880 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-25.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "…" +date: 2018-09-25 +--- + + +> I am your elder and (decidedly) better … I can’t *be* cheeky to *yo*u — know your place, whippersnapper ; P… + + +> Cheeky git!(Why reinvent the wheel) + + +> might makes right in this world and, if you want to win an argument in any *practical* way, what matters is that others adhere to your POV, not that they agree with itDamn right… + +The fries line has served me well so far, haven’t had a chance to crack out the others yet. + + +> I’d rather be part of the Inquisition *now* ; )Nobody expects the Inquisition. Everyone expects the Spanish…but nobody saw the Deathwatch coming. + +(Or at least, by the time they did it was *far* too late) + + +> You should read *Jupiter’s Travels*, if you haven’t already. Yet more things for the ever growing TBR. Ta! + + +> Cheeky git!Yep. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-26-bahaha.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-26-bahaha.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..346913d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-26-bahaha.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,17 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Bahaha." +date: 2018-09-26 +--- + + Bahaha. + +It does mean I get to see more of the future… + +But I’m pretty sure that isn’t a good thing anymore! + +Anyway yes, I shall… right after one ‘last’ party… + +If you’re ever playing Nottingham or Manchester area let me know by the way. Student gigs suck! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-26-so--no-further-than-north-london-then.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-26-so--no-further-than-north-london-then.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6e69659 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-26-so--no-further-than-north-london-then.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,23 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "So, no further than North London then?" +date: 2018-09-26 +--- + + +> you’ll be able to hear my howl of anguish on the other side of the galaxy!So, no further than North London then? + +… + +Genuinly though, it feels so weird to be here… almost like being away from civilisation. :D + + +> that you can miss by not logging into Medium until at least two months laterDoubtless I will, doubtless I will. But nevertheless I thought it were worth mentioning. After all I owe you a beer or ten still. (I never forget a debt, or a promise) + + +> I found you something that might prove useful when called upon to justify studying PhilosophyThat’s excellent, thank you! Now I have a chaser for ‘would you like fries with that’ :D + + +> Keep it to yourself thoughDon’t need to tell me twice! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-27-a-spark.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-27-a-spark.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..493c018 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-27-a-spark.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,41 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "A spark" +date: 2018-09-27 +--- + + ![](/img/1*ellvvARbfEzEiKBCwvI7_g.jpeg)Photo by [Jarl Schmidt](https://unsplash.com/photos/WxEI0pKND_Q?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/embers?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)A spark + +*a million volts* + +*for a split second* + +If the spark lands just right + +*it kindles a tiny flame* + +Hot but flickering + +Should you gentle cradle this flame + +*unafraid of being burned* + +It will resist when it would be doused + +If you feed this flame + +*it will grow explosively into a fire* + +A conflagration that consumes and ignites + +Should you survive the fire as it dies + +*you will be left with smouldering embers* + +Quieter and less ostentatious than the heartbeat spark, the jittering flame, the rumbling fire + +Discreetly white hot + +*a star core pouring lightness into the world* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-27-i-ll-have-you-know-my-so-is-from-wood-green-and-she-s-very-nice-indeed.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-27-i-ll-have-you-know-my-so-is-from-wood-green-and-she-s-very-nice-indeed.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d9c71c7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-27-i-ll-have-you-know-my-so-is-from-wood-green-and-she-s-very-nice-indeed.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,17 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I’ll have you know my SO is from Wood Green and she’s very nice indeed…" +date: 2018-09-27 +--- + + +> You know Camden … the West Berlin of North London.I’ll have you know my SO is from Wood Green and she’s very nice indeed… + +But also entirely insane so… Guess you’re right again ;D + +No but point being I genuinly do feel light years away from civilisation. As you say — out here in the Wilds of Zone 3… + + +> You’re welcome : )With a little help from you, I may well become the most infamous person on my course. Which I would really rather love. ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-09-27-which-is-where-i-m-from--technically.markdown b/_posts/2018-09-27-which-is-where-i-m-from--technically.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e3eabe8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-09-27-which-is-where-i-m-from--technically.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Which is where I’m from, technically." +date: 2018-09-27 +--- + + +> north of that is Hertfordshire!Which is where I’m from, *technically*. + +Doesn’t mean I’m happy about it! + + +> Seriously … ‘Wood Green’ tells you all you need to know about the place: wood is fucking *brown*, you inbred troglodytes!You know, I thought the same thing, just less colourfully. + +Clearly I was slacking. + + +> they’re intelligent and capable of separating out their own dis/like of you from their analysis of your thinkingYep…very very few people are at that. + + +> Be radical by all means … but be wary of infamy/notoriety — it’s a double-edged sword … wield it carefully.Double-edged swords are my speciality, which is unto itself a double-edged sword. Your warning is remembered but not necessarily followed. + + +> They consider themselves intellectuals and can’t figure out why everyone else kicks them in the playground after tutorials. +> They consider themselves intellectuals +> themselves intellectuals +> intellectualsBAH. The label is bad enough, and worse when it’s self-applied. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-01-how-do-i-tattoo-this-into-my-brain.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-01-how-do-i-tattoo-this-into-my-brain.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..92b9917 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-01-how-do-i-tattoo-this-into-my-brain.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "How do I tattoo this into my brain?" +date: 2018-10-01 +--- + + How do I tattoo this into my brain? + +As ever, I am divided between the rational part of me that understands and remembers this, and the (recently recognised as) toxic, codependent part of myself that I struggle to repress. + +As always, thanks for making me think. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-06-i-m-disappointed-as-to-how-harmless-that-link-is---especially-after-i-went-to-all-the-trouble-of.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-06-i-m-disappointed-as-to-how-harmless-that-link-is---especially-after-i-went-to-all-the-trouble-of.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2467d14 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-06-i-m-disappointed-as-to-how-harmless-that-link-is---especially-after-i-went-to-all-the-trouble-of.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I’m disappointed as to how harmless that link is — especially after I went to all the trouble of…" +date: 2018-10-06 +--- + + I’m disappointed as to how harmless that link is — especially after I went to all the trouble of switching from mobile to desktop to be able to preview it… + +… + +Wait…that means you got me, doesn’t it. Damn ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-08-i-was-about-to-say-that-we-both-seem-to-be-feeling-rather-out-of-sorts-what-with-your-most-recent.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-08-i-was-about-to-say-that-we-both-seem-to-be-feeling-rather-out-of-sorts-what-with-your-most-recent.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..64c8998 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-08-i-was-about-to-say-that-we-both-seem-to-be-feeling-rather-out-of-sorts-what-with-your-most-recent.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I was about to say that we both seem to be feeling rather out of sorts what with your most recent…" +date: 2018-10-08 +--- + + I was about to say that we both seem to be feeling rather out of sorts what with your most recent post. But…passing moment for both of us it seems :P + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-08-you-are.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-08-you-are.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d72809f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-08-you-are.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "You are…" +date: 2018-10-08 +--- + + ![](/img/1*JpjpU2gIO2RmIVUfHfiwmw.jpeg)Photo by [Elijah O’Donnell](https://unsplash.com/photos/Kaw6v5cBV0I?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/star-human?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)![](/img/1*FKI6lQ5Fk9FdqjLR5l0JVg.jpeg)Photo by [Joonyeop Baek](https://unsplash.com/photos/O_y9SKdWito?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/old-oak?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Like the aeons ancient celestial-battle scarred crust of this very Earth + +You are strong, like the barked fortress of a enduring old-oak + +*And yet…* + +![](/img/1*oxdvd5ynIue_OYI61Xe3-w.jpeg)Photo by [Derek Mack](https://unsplash.com/photos/CcRZ4k3c6gA?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/sunset?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Like the lightest breeze playing across a dew-kissed meadow + +You are gentle, like the drifting of a ruby sunset below the flung horizon + +*And yet…* + +![](/img/1*f7AK2fiDTPHDyGBZwmUkKg.jpeg)Photo by [Steve Halama](https://unsplash.com/photos/6twzYVHRurY?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/volcano?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Like the lashing touch of a storm battering all within its flailing grasp + +You are powerful, like the earth-blood filled bubbling core of a volcano + +*And yet…* + +![](/img/1*0Vq-2hfASfydjaB8bbDfDw.jpeg)Photo by [JuniperPhoton](https://unsplash.com/photos/SjkzLV7wfUg?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/autumn?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)Like the maelstrom of imagination that fills every wondering head + +You are dependable, the turn of the seasons, the annual gilding and falling of swarms of leaves + +*And so…* + +![](/img/1*aZZY-UK4VlBv23Jkt-OwcA.jpeg)Photo by [Cristofer Jeschke](https://unsplash.com/photos/Ce3XLxac0f4?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/star-human?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)You are…*alive. *You are*…human*. Fire-striking, tsunami-powerful. Earth-strong, breeze-gentle. You are stardust driven fierce by a mighty mind. Stand proud and know *this*. **You are enough.** + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-10-yes--and-as-such--i-count-myself-fortunate-to-have-had-such-an-experience-as-early-in-life-as-i.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-10-yes--and-as-such--i-count-myself-fortunate-to-have-had-such-an-experience-as-early-in-life-as-i.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2f0c761 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-10-yes--and-as-such--i-count-myself-fortunate-to-have-had-such-an-experience-as-early-in-life-as-i.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,30 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Yes, and as such, I count myself fortunate to have had such an experience as early in life as I…" +date: 2018-10-10 +--- + + +> It was truly a mind-altering, reality-shaking experience.Yes, and as such, I count myself fortunate to have had such an experience as early in life as I have. It’s been the major driver in my introspection on how (and indeed why) I approach relationships and has uncovered some considerable flaws on my part (most notably my codependency tendencies, for want of a better phrase) that I am glad of the opportunity to work on. + +Silver linings and that. + + +> we (eventually) were able to repair all of the damageHmm. Now I wonder if it would be possible to do the same — while we were toxic for each other as lovers, we were quite good friends. I fear it might be too late — and indeed, that she may not be willing. But I could try… + +It still has the potential to go badly wrong — and may indeed be too late — but it’s something that I will seriously consider. Thank you for that nudge. (Regardless of results) + + +> In my case, I got caught up in the process of her realizing that she was, in fact, lesbian.Ouch. Not really something you want to take credit for, hmm? + +(Apologies if my humour is misplaced, or indeed…just *not funny*) + + +> And it nearly cost me my life.Same here. Nearly cost me my sanity and happiness in the bargain. + +I’m *still *dealing with its catastrophic effect on my ability to trust. But that’s more a part of the ‘false faces thing’, which for you was a different relationship entirely. + + +> DO NOT IGNORE RED FLAGS!!!‘Nuf said. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-18-i-swear-on-your-life--that-was-sincere.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-18-i-swear-on-your-life--that-was-sincere.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..12aad5a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-18-i-swear-on-your-life--that-was-sincere.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I swear on your life¹ that was sincere…" +date: 2018-10-18 +--- + + I swear on *your* life¹ that was sincere… + +I forget that exclamation marks often come off wrong on the Interwebz. But you *are* right, I don’t need any encouragement… + +¹ Of far more worth to you than anyone *else’s *life, after all!² + +² Sincere again, if you *couldn’t* tell. ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-18-pieces-falling-into-place-mm-familiar-with-that-feeling.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-18-pieces-falling-into-place-mm-familiar-with-that-feeling.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d67b5f3 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-18-pieces-falling-into-place-mm-familiar-with-that-feeling.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,29 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Pieces falling into place…mm…familiar with that feeling." +date: 2018-10-18 +--- + + Pieces falling into place…mm…familiar with that feeling. + +Animosity based silence…so I can think of a few people that fit into that. The person in question in the original piece? (Referred to as capital She/Her) I’m not actually sure. Guess I won’t know until/if I reach out, but it has so much potential to be a can of worms… + +No physical aggression here, but hate was spewed in spite, as it too often is. Wish I could say I was better than that, but here we are. And I did the same thing in the next relationship — in fact, she reached out some months later to ‘check up’. May be related to her breaking up with me, though. (Semi related: ) + +Again, never any physical aggression for me, so I can’t speak for that side of it. Was it emotionally abusive though? I’d like to say it depended on (big *IF)* Her intentions were genuine, but the fact I even have to ask that question points to it being abusive, I’d say. Or at the very least just toxic, intentional or otherwise. + +On that note, somehow I feel like I should be the one giving an apology, even though She initiated the breakup both times…I can’t tell if that’s just my nature, or aftershocks of trickery, if it ever existed. + +Trying things again…I don’t think I would with anyone I’ve previously dated. One was classic co-dependency on both sides, side of crazy for her. One was…Her. And the next…hmm. Maybe I would try that one again, in an alternate future. + +Come to think of it, that’s a slight lie. Me and Her technically dated twice. Though the second time lasted barely a week and me agreeing to try again was never in question, so wrapped up in her was I, still. + +If there ever was a *good* cause for ending things via text, I’d say your situation is it! The subconscious so often does know, doesn’t it — mine sure did going into the relationship with Her! + +As for the crossing of paths again…I don’t often say this but it sounds like Fate/insert your equivalent. I’m so glad to hear you’ve achieved true peace with both of them! + +And yes…all that to say that, and all of my reply to say this… + +Thank you for sharing your own story, and your advice. And for the well wishes. Inevitably I will take the easy out and let silence reign. Although…we did make *really* good friends before we tried to date… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-18-wise-as-always.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-18-wise-as-always.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8ed049e --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-18-wise-as-always.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Wise as always!" +date: 2018-10-18 +--- + + Wise as always! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-18-working-on-it.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-18-working-on-it.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b140f9a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-18-working-on-it.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Working on it." +date: 2018-10-18 +--- + + Working on it. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-19-i-m-not-a-comedian.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-19-i-m-not-a-comedian.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cba1614 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-19-i-m-not-a-comedian.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I’m not a comedian…!" +date: 2018-10-19 +--- + + I’m not a comedian…! + +Wait…*Hmm*… ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-19-you-might-be-giving-me-too-much-credit-there.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-19-you-might-be-giving-me-too-much-credit-there.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fc72b84 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-19-you-might-be-giving-me-too-much-credit-there.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "You might be giving me too much credit there…" +date: 2018-10-19 +--- + + You might be giving me too much credit there… + +But I’ll take it! :P + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-22-the-thing-about-utopia-is-it-doesn-t-exist.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-22-the-thing-about-utopia-is-it-doesn-t-exist.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..eb1e8ad --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-22-the-thing-about-utopia-is-it-doesn-t-exist.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "The thing about utopia is it doesn’t exist…" +date: 2018-10-22 +--- + + The thing about utopia is it doesn’t exist… + +But. I loved Medium when I first found it several years ago. That blank page, that ‘Tell your story…’ was oh so evocative. But Medium is losing its shine for me too, and it’s not just the natural fading with age. Medium is going one direction, and our little community — if I may dare include myself — another. + +All that said — I’m not convinced what you’re looking for (which is very similar to what I’m looking for) exists. Completely theoretically speaking…there’s nothing to stop us…building it? + +Just a thought. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-24-mission-echo-returns.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-24-mission-echo-returns.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ac58be7 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-24-mission-echo-returns.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,89 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Mission Echo returns" +date: 2018-10-24 +--- + + ![](/img/1*LhrCekXkkpT77dqR0H2ymA.jpeg)Photo by [John Jason](https://unsplash.com/photos/99cl-_hPa-0?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/future?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) (The most ‘spacey’ one I could find!)#### **Writing Prompt: A colony mission sent from Earth loses contact, discouraging further missions. Hundreds of years later, the colony has established a powerful interstellar frontier and has regained contact with Earth, pledging their allegiance to the world’s leaders.** + +Surprisingly quietly, the dropship’s landing legs settled into the dust, under the shadow of the gigantic ex-colony ship hanging in low-Earth orbit. Scarcely had the dust settled when the ship’s belly split open, a battered metal ramp crashing to the dirt. Another heartbeat of silence came and went, as if it itself were afraid. Then a rush of movement and humanoid figures filed out, sweeping the area with the glowing weapons clasped in their gloved hands. Each figure had an expressionless mirrored visor and wore a streamlined but tough looking exosuit. When the metallic creatures had established a perimeter, a new figure stepped from the ship. + +Piercing red eyes glowed from within the figure’s metal visage, points of light blazing from sunken sockets. A fixed and malicious grin was carved into the mask under arching cheekbones. Light glinted off it, then scurried away as fast as it could manage. Several of the members of the welcoming committee that Earth had sent out to meet this unknown force recoiled at the grim sight. Other than the visor, the ironclad form was much the same as any of the other figures. So deeply black was their armour it seemed to absorb light from around them — though this was surely a mere illusion. Here and there bright metal shone through fresh scars in the compact plate. For a minute that dragged, kicking and screaming, into forever, nobody moved. + +Then the skull-masked figure’s face opened — almost seeming to dissolve. It revealed, not some blue-skinned sharp-faced alien, not some steely robot — but a human. The woman’s face was tough and craggy with a lingering hint of something alien — but definitely, undoubtedly human. Well, all human except for her left eye, which shone just as the sockets of her mask had — a blood jewel set into shining metal that merged seamlessly into her worn flesh. A long, raised scar ran across her face, interrupted by the metal. Clearly from the wound that had taken her eye. Her mouth was set in a distinct grimace that too, almost matched her mask. Moments later, her gravelly voice boomed out, “Which among you is of the highest rank?” The words were uttered with an inflection foreign to Earth, but carried absolute authority. This woman was used to giving orders. Orders that were promptly obeyed. + +“I suppose that would be me” replied a short, grey haired man sandwiched between two gnarled men whose muscles strained at the seams of their traditional dress suits. + +“I am technically in command of this planet’s armed forces, what remains of them at least” he said, quietly. Inwardly, he wondered about the assumption that the planet would be governed under military rule. + +“I am Captain Octavius of PDF Special Forces. I headed Colony Mission Echo that left Earth in 2036. Now we return.” The Earth Delegation had so far been doing well at maintaining their composure — they had been training for this much of their lives after all. But these words caused visible shock to pass across every member of the Earth Delegation’s faces. “How…”, the aged man began to mutter, but was curtly interrupted. + +“The original mission parameters: self-substantiating colonisation of the worlds orbiting Epsilon Eridani, and establishment of a forward base. Accomplished within a decade. Then *they *struck…” The inflection on the word they carried an ominous meaning, and once again questions began to bubble up from the earthers. + +The Captain raised a hand for silence, and it fell like a cast stone. “The attack was swift and merciless, and most importantly cut off our contact with the outside world. With High Command. With Earth.” At that, the faintest crack in her marble facade could be seen, a slight hoarseness to her voice. Directing a statement at the Earth leader as if she were sighting a shot she asked, “Can we continue this briefing somewhere else? Somewhere more secure?” While not a military man at heart, he understood the gravitas of the situation and thus nodded once, then spun on his heel, his aides swarming around him. The space marines closed up into a tight formation around their own leader, and the group moved off in quick flawlessly synchronised lockstep. The crowd of reporters that had gathered around the ship were left standing in the dust, cameras panning to cover the disappearing backs of the two groups. + +Not long later, the groups were seated at each side of a long, dark mahogany table, facing each other. The Earthers reclined into the plush chairs, while the soldiers sat ramrod straight. Octavius reached up and smoothly removed her helmet, shaking out a cascade of raven-black hair. As one, the rest of the squad made the same maneuver, revealing a host of faces each as battle-scarred as their leader’s. Here and there, metal shone where flesh should have sweated — these warriors clearly could not afford to have their fighting ability compromised. Visible shock and more than a hint of disgust scrawled itself across the faces of the soft men and women that reclined away from these looming warriors. + +No doubt Octavius noticed the emotion on display. She displayed none of her own. Instead, her impassive gaze swept once again to the short man, now seated opposite her. He squirmed almost imperceptibly under the concentrated, attentive stare as if he could feel her eyes reading him. + +Stiffening a little, the man spoke before Octavius could get a chance. As he did so, the flicker of a smile tugged at Octavius’s mouth, as if she were pleasantly surprised and amused by the man’s sudden growth of a spine. + +“Before you continue your…report, I must ask a question. When you arrived, you carried with you the assumption that this planet would be governed militarily, correct?” + +“Absolutely. How could it not be?” + +“The last soldier on this planet laid down arms almost thirty years ago.” + +“Ah, so the squabbling petty disputes were resolved at last. But, by laid down arms you surely mean ceased to actively fight, not ceased to train in the event of war…?” + +“I mean that people like you…soldiers, no longer exist. Globally. The concept of war is scarcely remembered. We are at peace.” + +This crashed through Octavius’s expressionless facade like a hammer, her shock laid bare for all to see. Then in a second the walls were back up, the face neutral once more. + +“I…see. The situation is far worse than I had imagined. Time is now absolutely of the essence” + +“What do you…” + +“Of the essence. That means no time for interruptions” Octavius cut in + +“Yes, M’am.” The man tilted his head to imply deference. Now it was the turn of several of the Earth Delegation to look visibly shocked, clearly not anticipating the leader of Earth to treat the commander of a colony mission this way. + +Several hours passed before Octavius had managed to fill the world leaders in on what precisely had transpired several star systems away. She spoke slowly and deliberately, “Missions Alpha and Bravo failed, the seed-ship unable to reach its destination. Charlie was initially successful, but the colony’s governance structure collapsed rapidly. The inhabitants of Ship Delta simply never woke up. I now understand that the missions ceased after Echo, as we suspected they might after being unable to establish contact with Earth, to tell of our success. We thought this contact failure was simply technical problems. This turned out to be a grave error of judgement.” + +A veritable barrage of questions followed and then a rather pregnant silence. + +Octavius had no qualms breaking the silence, “The population of Earth needs to be told. Everyone must prepare.” Instantly objections came from across the room, some dissent even sourced from within Octavius’s own contingent, although these were quickly silenced with a laser glare. Her gaze had such intensity one might wonder if a look from that glowing bionic eye might actually kill. + +“That will cause mass panic!” shouted one particularly bold Earther. Murmurs of agreement followed, almost unanimous. + +“She is right” The leader that Octavius had first addressed spoke conversationally, not raising his voice. And yet somehow the authority that permeated and those deployed words allowed their message to slice through the clamour, and silenced the room. + +Octavius nodded her thanks to the man, as casual as if they had just agreed on where to eat dinner rather than a decision that could change the lives of literal billions of people. + +Now it was all a matter of logistics. Something Earth fortunately remained quite good at, despite the total lack of military capability. There was already a system in place to allow the man now revealed to be titled The President of Earth to address the entire population through every one of the unanimous screens scattered through the population, portable and otherwise. The camera was prepared, the room deathly silent. All Octavius had to do was give the signal, and her words would be instantly broadcast to the entire planet. A technological marvel. She signalled her readiness, still maintaining her casual demeanor but sitting stiffly and staring squarely into the gleaming lens of the waiting camera. + +“I am Captain Octavius of Colony Mission Echo.” She paused here, aware of the shocking effects her words would be having. + +“Few among you will be familiar with the history of the Colony Missions. None among you will know why they lost contact. Until now. + +Mission Echo have been engaged in a fight for survival since moments after landing. And not just against inhospitable conditions and severely limited resources, although those certainly played their part. + +Not just against that. Against hostile beings. Aliens. + +Aliens that seem to want us erased from existence. + +We are faced with a choice. Submit and be annihilated, or fight. Petty differences have been put aside, humanity living in peace with one another at last. Wars forgotten. Now we must re-learn the art of war. + +This is about the fate of a species. Our species. I have battled to survive for years, and am not about to give up now. Who is with me?“ + +The camera panned across to Earth’s leader seated beside her. + +“I am.” + +Across the world, old embers sparked, fresh defiant flame licking upwards triumphantly. Old spirits, old warlike natures reignited by the rousing, heartfelt words spilling from Octavius’ battle-worn form. + +Be it whispered, spoken or screamed, humanity in unison said “I am.” + +This was on /r/WritingPrompts a loooong while ago. I’ll try and find the link if I can. This draft has been sitting in my folder almost as long. Finally decided to clean it up and publish it, even if I’m still not quite happy with it. Medium is a silly place to publish fiction anyway! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-25-aye--but-world-standards-be-fecked.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-25-aye--but-world-standards-be-fecked.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f1bc6c4 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-25-aye--but-world-standards-be-fecked.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Aye, but world standards be fecked." +date: 2018-10-25 +--- + + Aye, but world standards be* fecked. *Money past a certain point becomes meaningless — it just morphs into near infinite power. Anyway… + +Yes, smart investment always boosts numbers. I’ve been reading up about it, should the day ever arrive where I have two pennies to rub together. + +F1? Bah. Them has got four wheels and so is for sissies. Two wheels, no more! I did enjoy watching a bit the other day to be fair, but it is *so* tame… + +Anyway,¹ + +Read this: + +[**The Blogging Shangri-La** +*Let me outline my blogging Utopia*medium.com](https://medium.com/@gutbloom/the-blogging-shangri-la-b5f80ed2e9e5 "https://medium.com/@gutbloom/the-blogging-shangri-la-b5f80ed2e9e5")[](https://medium.com/@gutbloom/the-blogging-shangri-la-b5f80ed2e9e5)if you have about 8 minutes to spare. + +If you don’t let me summarise as best I can. + +By writers, for writers. Where the words take centre stage, no distractions. + +Allows anonymity, maybe making people pay for it to avoid trolls.² Some capacity for social, but without compromising the core mission. + +Meaty, accurate statistics. Features to make writing fun — polls etc. Not just a house, but a *home *for ‘alternative’ forms of the written word like poetry, comics, fiction…the list goes on. + +If that sounds an awful lot like Medium (except for the stats part, obviously. And the anonymity, *and*…) that’s because it *is*. Or at least what Medium **was/was supposed to/was promised to** be. + +¹ Again +² And I know for dead sure I would find some way to anonymise payments, should I build this…Otherwise what’s the damn point in the anonymity!! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-25-how-to-be-invincible.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-25-how-to-be-invincible.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e14ecb0 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-25-how-to-be-invincible.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,65 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "How to be invincible" +date: 2018-10-25 +--- + + #### A beginners guide to the impossible + +![](/img/1*pzsYIBePPPQEwLMa9ubftA.jpeg)Photo by [Matt Atherton](https://unsplash.com/photos/zuEjcqGWVBc?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/search/photos/impossible?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText) | Authors note: I reckons that should say “Trust your gut, cuddle a cat and slam tequila” But that wasn’t on Unsplash…Three years ago, I never would have thought that I could write a novel. Let alone write on in **thirty days**. + +That’s right, it’s almost that time of year again! November is fast becoming one of my favourite months — not just because of Halloween and the fireworks, but the novelling. This year I’ve been particularly fierce in my quest to get people to join me on the mad journey — and have been met with reasonable success. This is another slab in that road. + +#### An impossible goal + +Pick something. Anything at all really. But preferably something completely insane. + +Something so far out your comfort zone it makes your heartbeat spike slightly just considering it. + +Forget exposure therapy, this is *shock* *therapy*.¹ + +There is only one way to truly prove to yourself you are capable of your dreams, and that is to do the impossible. Like, for example — writing 50,000 words in a month. + +That’s 1667 words a day. For a whole month. Which to some — nay most — of you probably sounds like a lot. To me? Doesn’t sound like much. Because I’ve *done it*. Got the T shirt.² + +**Showing up** + +The most difficult part of doing the impossible is not starting — but finishing. And finishing entails making steps towards that deliberately far off goal *every damn day*. + +1667 words a day is pretty easy. Sorry³, but it is. It’s repeating that *pretty easy *1667 words every day for thirty days straight that’s hard. And it is *hard*. Showing up every day and writing a couple words is hard, let alone the best part of two thousand. + +It’s hard, but it is not impossible. 50,000 words in a month is impossible (or *sounds it*) but 1667 words a day for thirty days? That sounds a lot more manageable, doesn’t it? + +So show up. That’s all the ‘secret’ there is, to writing — and to doing anything else *im*possible. + +**Victory** + +If you commit to your goal, if you grind away at it every day for as long as it takes, you will succeed. I can’t tell you the secrets of how exactly to do that — because truth be told I don’t have a *damn clue* just yet — but I can promise you success if you do. + +Sure, talent helps. But it is a crutch, not a spine. + +Perseverance is a solid foundation on which to build anything. Anything at all, including the impossible. Figure that out, in whatever way works for you — and *you* can write a novel in a month. + +Do enough impossible things, and you’ll begin to believe that they aren’t so impossible. That there is no such thing *as* impossible.⁴ + +That’s all there is to it. There is no secret sauce, and anyone who tries to sell you any can fuck off. The way to do things is just to *do *them. Sounds stupid when written like that maybe — but that’s all perseverance really means. + +It’s how I wrote a novel in a month, and it is how **you** can too. Or anything else insane you can set your mind to. + +Do enough impossible things and you will be invincible. Simple.⁵ + +¹ Not the electrical kind, unless you have *really *odd aspirations… + +² Well no, I didn’t actually. Because I’m a cheap bastard… + +³ Am I ever. + +⁴ Bar, obviously, things that are impossible in physics etc. I’m talking about things that *seem *impossible to our minds and calling them such for effect. Obviously. + +⁵ That is what I promised you after all, isn’t it? How to be invincible? And if you can do the impossible, then you must be invincible…right?⁶ + +⁶ Don’t tell me you were actually looking for *immortality. *Because if you were, fuck *right* off.⁷ You *actually thought* I’d publish the secret to that on *Medium*, for *free*?! Hah. + +⁷ But come right back if you find it somewhere else. *Please?* + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-25-slide-the-one-you-don-t-choose-my-way--would-you---d.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-25-slide-the-one-you-don-t-choose-my-way--would-you---d.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..be2cfbf --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-25-slide-the-one-you-don-t-choose-my-way--would-you---d.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Slide the one you don’t choose my way, would you? :D" +date: 2018-10-25 +--- + + Slide the one you *don’t *choose my way, would you? :D + +Anyway, congratulations. And potentially, goodbye. Believe it or not, you will be missed! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-25-wow--you-did-say--and-so-it-will-be---that-s-a-lot-of-money.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-25-wow--you-did-say--and-so-it-will-be---that-s-a-lot-of-money.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e2e986d --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-25-wow--you-did-say--and-so-it-will-be---that-s-a-lot-of-money.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,25 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Wow. You did say, and so it will be — that’s a lot of money." +date: 2018-10-25 +--- + + Wow. You did say, and so it will be — that’s a *lot* of money. I’d say I wish I had that much but…in truth I don’t give a damn. I already know myself well enough to know money will more likely kill me than help me.¹ + +Anyway… + +Go for both! Have your cake and eat it if they’ll let you. And they just might… + +I wouldn’t want to be at the mercy of trends particularly in *this *timeline but it sounds like it might be worth it. + +Fingers crossed for you, Angel. It’s been good. Jeez, that sounds final. I do hope you don’t disappear into heaven entirely. + +Though if [Gutbloom](https://medium.com/u/764bb738c763) gets their way, and I do hope they do — you might disappear off *Medium* at least. As will I! It’s getting to the point where I’m considering attempting to build Gutbloom’s Utopia *myself*. After all, that might be the only way to get it done right!!² + +Keep me — nay, us — in the loop, if you wouldn’t mind. I’ve grown quite attached to this loose band of misfits, if I may once again be so bold as to include myself, over this short, scattered time. + +¹ That’s not to say I don’t want money. I do. Obviously. But *enough*, and no more. I am too prone to excess as it is. + +² If glacially, notoriously, slowly. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-26-bloody-hell.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-26-bloody-hell.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..65cc730 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-26-bloody-hell.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Bloody hell." +date: 2018-10-26 +--- + + Bloody hell. Really?! Well I don’t know if I can do better than BTC… So maybe paid accounts is out of the window in my subversion of Gutbloom’s utopia. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-26-i-ll-take-that-exactly-as-it-is-intended---a-sincere-compliment--and-proud-of-it-i-am--too.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-26-i-ll-take-that-exactly-as-it-is-intended---a-sincere-compliment--and-proud-of-it-i-am--too.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e2558a0 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-26-i-ll-take-that-exactly-as-it-is-intended---a-sincere-compliment--and-proud-of-it-i-am--too.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I’ll take that exactly as it is intended — a sincere compliment. And proud of it I am, too!" +date: 2018-10-26 +--- + + I’ll take that exactly as it is intended — a sincere compliment. And proud of it I am, too! + +One of my course mates has already been told to ‘watch his back’ for his incendiary opinions, so I’ve got some goddamn catching up to do! Working on it! ;) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-26-not-yet.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-26-not-yet.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2cf3cd4 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-26-not-yet.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Not yet…" +date: 2018-10-26 +--- + + Not *yet…* + +;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-26-pay-to-create-an-account--very-effective-at-keeping-spam-and-trolls-away.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-26-pay-to-create-an-account--very-effective-at-keeping-spam-and-trolls-away.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c4bbd5f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-26-pay-to-create-an-account--very-effective-at-keeping-spam-and-trolls-away.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Pay to create an account. Very effective at keeping spam and trolls away." +date: 2018-10-26 +--- + + Pay to create an account. Very effective at keeping spam and trolls away. + +Personally, I’m not a fan. But I see their reasoning. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-26-that-s-my-point.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-26-that-s-my-point.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ff59e02 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-26-that-s-my-point.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That’s my point." +date: 2018-10-26 +--- + + That’s my point. I’m sure I can find a way to abstract the payment and preserve anonymity. That isn’t bitcoin, preferably! + +Anyway, I’m not hugely enamoured with the idea of ‘pay to write’. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-26-well-then-what-you-do-is-go-back-to-exactly-whatever-it-is-you-re-doing-now---unless-there-s-a.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-26-well-then-what-you-do-is-go-back-to-exactly-whatever-it-is-you-re-doing-now---unless-there-s-a.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a03d551 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-26-well-then-what-you-do-is-go-back-to-exactly-whatever-it-is-you-re-doing-now---unless-there-s-a.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Well then what you do is go back to exactly whatever it is you’re doing now — unless there’s a…" +date: 2018-10-26 +--- + + Well then what you do is go back to exactly whatever it is you’re doing now — unless there’s a reason you can’t besides having got used to having obscene amounts of money. + +Paid well to party hard is a dream unto itself, no matter the exact form! + +Fingers still crossed for you. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-26-you-mean-do-regular-work--like-a--normal-person----and-maybe-not-party-so-hard.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-26-you-mean-do-regular-work--like-a--normal-person----and-maybe-not-party-so-hard.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1dcbd31 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-26-you-mean-do-regular-work--like-a--normal-person----and-maybe-not-party-so-hard.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "You mean do regular work, like a ‘normal person’?? And maybe not party so hard?" +date: 2018-10-26 +--- + + You mean do regular work, like a ‘normal person’?? And maybe not party so hard? + +However will you cope? ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-27-i-was-pretty-sure-it-was--but-i-wanted-to-try-a-funny-anyway.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-27-i-was-pretty-sure-it-was--but-i-wanted-to-try-a-funny-anyway.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..08efe05 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-27-i-was-pretty-sure-it-was--but-i-wanted-to-try-a-funny-anyway.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I was pretty sure it was, but I wanted to try a funny anyway…" +date: 2018-10-27 +--- + + I was pretty sure it was, but I wanted to try a funny anyway… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-27-nothing-much--just-a-typical-alt-right-shitlord-public-schoolboy-too-which-doesn-t-help.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-27-nothing-much--just-a-typical-alt-right-shitlord-public-schoolboy-too-which-doesn-t-help.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0e7a6ee --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-27-nothing-much--just-a-typical-alt-right-shitlord-public-schoolboy-too-which-doesn-t-help.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Nothing much, just a typical alt-right shitlord…public schoolboy too which doesn’t help." +date: 2018-10-27 +--- + + Nothing much, just a typical alt-right shitlord…public schoolboy too which doesn’t help. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-27.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-27.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1d4ae3f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-27.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "…" +date: 2018-10-27 +--- + + … + +I’m afraid I don’t like your implication all that much. Good day to you, sir! + +… + +:P + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-28--not-going-to--and-then-does.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-28--not-going-to--and-then-does.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ca4afb1 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-28--not-going-to--and-then-does.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "‘Not going to’ and then does…" +date: 2018-10-28 +--- + + ‘Not going to’ and then does… + +All useful information ;D But yes, hopefully I never have to use it! :o + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-28-at-nine-stone-and-well-over-six-foot--i-m-not-tiny-but-i-sure-am-thin.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-28-at-nine-stone-and-well-over-six-foot--i-m-not-tiny-but-i-sure-am-thin.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..40d9aa4 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-28-at-nine-stone-and-well-over-six-foot--i-m-not-tiny-but-i-sure-am-thin.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,19 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "At nine stone and well over six foot, I’m not tiny but I sure am thin." +date: 2018-10-28 +--- + + At nine stone and well over six foot, I’m not *tiny* but I sure am thin. + +For someone who doesn’t recommend it you sure are clearly describing *how* to do it! :P + +Oh the Rush…we both know that we both know about the Rush. + +I mean I do that to some extent already. I’m just about still behind the barrier of a healthy(ish) awareness (anxiety), though, rather than a full on paranoia. (which, incidentally, is a word I can’t spell to save my life…) + +As for offensive/defensive properties of clothing — I spend most of my time in motorcycle gear at the moment, which is by design defensive, and by happy(?) accident offensive. Wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of a motorcycle-gloved punch, that’s for damn sure. A helmet makes a pretty decent blunt instrument in a pinch…but an expensive one for sure! + +I struggle enough with breathing easy as it is — so I’d better stop myself from that route, I should think! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-28-i-ve-got-the-deathwish-part-down-pat-it-s-just-that-i-m--so--thin-that-i-feel-like-it-makes-me-seem.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-28-i-ve-got-the-deathwish-part-down-pat-it-s-just-that-i-m--so--thin-that-i-feel-like-it-makes-me-seem.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..aa56134 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-28-i-ve-got-the-deathwish-part-down-pat-it-s-just-that-i-m--so--thin-that-i-feel-like-it-makes-me-seem.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I’ve got the deathwish part down pat it’s just that I’m *so* thin that I feel like it makes me seem…" +date: 2018-10-28 +--- + + I’ve got the deathwish part down pat it’s just that I’m *so* thin that I feel like it makes me seem comedic rather than threatening no matter how much crazy I mix in… + +Working on it! 😂 + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-28-that-makes-two-of-us--d.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-28-that-makes-two-of-us--d.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1e3ea16 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-28-that-makes-two-of-us--d.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That makes two of us ;D" +date: 2018-10-28 +--- + + That makes two of us ;D + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-28-that-s-a-hell-of-a-line--as-i-ve-come-to-expect-from-you.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-28-that-s-a-hell-of-a-line--as-i-ve-come-to-expect-from-you.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..14328d8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-28-that-s-a-hell-of-a-line--as-i-ve-come-to-expect-from-you.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That’s a hell of a line, as I’ve come to expect from you." +date: 2018-10-28 +--- + + That’s a hell of a line, as I’ve come to expect from you. However, I don’t look physically intimidating in the *slightest. *Me trying to use that would probably be laughable, not threatening. + +Even if I have no doubt I could *mean it*, looking like I’d lose a fight with a gust of wind just nips it all in the bud, really. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-28-that-s-a-hell-of-an-answer-to--what-s-the-worst-that-could-happen.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-28-that-s-a-hell-of-an-answer-to--what-s-the-worst-that-could-happen.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f9c7f3a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-28-that-s-a-hell-of-an-answer-to--what-s-the-worst-that-could-happen.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That’s a hell of an answer to ‘what’s the worst that could happen’!" +date: 2018-10-28 +--- + + That’s a hell of an answer to ‘what’s the worst that could happen’! + +Not much left to say other than good luck… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-28-there-s-always-a-catch--ain-t-there.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-28-there-s-always-a-catch--ain-t-there.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2ea2fd2 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-28-there-s-always-a-catch--ain-t-there.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "There’s always a catch, ain’t there." +date: 2018-10-28 +--- + + There’s always a catch, ain’t there. But this sounds like it satisfies the ‘bigger the risk the bigger the reward’. I have a funny feeling you — like me — find it difficult not to go for broke. Unless life has tempered that edge off you as it hasn’t yet for me, I don’t know. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-29-that-s-fair--point-taken--p.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-29-that-s-fair--point-taken--p.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..523cae2 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-29-that-s-fair--point-taken--p.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That’s fair. Point taken :p" +date: 2018-10-29 +--- + + That’s fair. Point taken :p + +That double negative is doing my head in… from context, you mean that anyone going equipped is an idiot, right? + +Presuming so and regardless, I don’t carry a weapon unless you count my multitool. But the key is in the name —multiTOOL! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-10-30-do-you-realise-what-day-it-is.markdown b/_posts/2018-10-30-do-you-realise-what-day-it-is.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e7532bc --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-10-30-do-you-realise-what-day-it-is.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,19 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "DO YOU REALISE WHAT DAY IT IS?!" +date: 2018-10-30 +--- + + DO YOU REALISE WHAT DAY IT IS?! + +Goddamn you Angel. Gods damn you!! + +Oh… right…yeah, not everyone knows the significance of November. + +You had to choose now, a day and a bit before I write a novel in a month. Again. + +You had to choose now… + +Dammit. This will be fun… + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-11-01-hello--delicious-friend.markdown b/_posts/2018-11-01-hello--delicious-friend.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5196b49 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-11-01-hello--delicious-friend.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Hello, Delicious Friend!" +date: 2018-11-01 +--- + + Hello, Delicious Friend! Took you a while to stumble onto this. Figured you already had else I’d have pointed you at it. + +I can’t get along with the games for various reasons I don’t have time to explain, but I bloody **love** the setting! + +Also Fallen London came before the other two FWIW. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-11-14-nobody--not-even-the-devil--could-make-me-look-like-a-good-dancer.markdown b/_posts/2018-11-14-nobody--not-even-the-devil--could-make-me-look-like-a-good-dancer.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a47d078 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-11-14-nobody--not-even-the-devil--could-make-me-look-like-a-good-dancer.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Nobody, not even the Devil, could make me look like a good dancer…" +date: 2018-11-14 +--- + + Nobody, not even the Devil, could make *me *look like a good dancer… + +(The claps button got stuck but I’ll leave it.) + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-11-14-quite-so--what-style-does-the-devil-dance--or-are-they-easy---p.markdown b/_posts/2018-11-14-quite-so--what-style-does-the-devil-dance--or-are-they-easy---p.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..82faf9e --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-11-14-quite-so--what-style-does-the-devil-dance--or-are-they-easy---p.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Quite so. What style does the Devil dance, or are they easy? :p" +date: 2018-11-14 +--- + + Quite so. What style does the Devil dance, or are they easy? :p + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-11-14-the-void-looked-back--eh.markdown b/_posts/2018-11-14-the-void-looked-back--eh.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c6be7ea --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-11-14-the-void-looked-back--eh.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "The void looked back, eh?" +date: 2018-11-14 +--- + + The void looked back, eh? + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-11-15-arse-end-of-nowhere--so-you-walked-five-minutes-north-of-the-river.markdown b/_posts/2018-11-15-arse-end-of-nowhere--so-you-walked-five-minutes-north-of-the-river.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f72307c --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-11-15-arse-end-of-nowhere--so-you-walked-five-minutes-north-of-the-river.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Arse end of nowhere? So you walked five minutes north of the river?" +date: 2018-11-15 +--- + + Arse end of nowhere? So you walked five minutes north of the river? + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-11-22-untitled.markdown b/_posts/2018-11-22-untitled.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3a3c009 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-11-22-untitled.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,7 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Untitled" +date: 2018-11-22 +--- + + The moral of this story is anything ***you ***say can and will come back to haunt you \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-11-27-that-s-what-i-ve-been-trying-to-do-this-whole-time---who-would-want-to-be-stuck-in-london.markdown b/_posts/2018-11-27-that-s-what-i-ve-been-trying-to-do-this-whole-time---who-would-want-to-be-stuck-in-london.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3a87e66 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-11-27-that-s-what-i-ve-been-trying-to-do-this-whole-time---who-would-want-to-be-stuck-in-london.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That’s what I’ve been trying to do this whole time — who would want to be stuck in London!" +date: 2018-11-27 +--- + + That’s what I’ve been trying to do this whole time — who would want to be stuck in London! + +But I can’t, coz I can’t figure out what road leads that way…and it ain’t like I can just turn around in this damned one way maze… + +I *hate *driving in London for a multitude of reasons, poor/no signage being one of the least of them. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-11-28-daily-basis--not-me--i-venture-down-only-when-absolutely-necessary--fear-not.markdown b/_posts/2018-11-28-daily-basis--not-me--i-venture-down-only-when-absolutely-necessary--fear-not.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a893209 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-11-28-daily-basis--not-me--i-venture-down-only-when-absolutely-necessary--fear-not.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Daily basis? Not me! I venture down only when absolutely necessary, fear not." +date: 2018-11-28 +--- + + Daily basis? Not me! I venture down only when *absolutely *necessary, fear not. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-11-28-some-of-them--yes.markdown b/_posts/2018-11-28-some-of-them--yes.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..64770e8 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-11-28-some-of-them--yes.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Some of them, yes." +date: 2018-11-28 +--- + + Some of them, yes. But also that other people in London have a striking inability to drive, and those that don’t suffer that are just plain arseholes about it. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-12-07-apologies--of-course-i-should-have-known.markdown b/_posts/2018-12-07-apologies--of-course-i-should-have-known.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d8affe5 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-12-07-apologies--of-course-i-should-have-known.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Apologies, of course I should have known." +date: 2018-12-07 +--- + + Apologies, of course I should have known. + +I’m getting that feeling again, that we had when we first crossed each other’s paths, of being the same person from different timelines (or points in one). Seems about right, really. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-12-07-as-i-maintain--it-is-a-way-of-life.markdown b/_posts/2018-12-07-as-i-maintain--it-is-a-way-of-life.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..21bebec --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-12-07-as-i-maintain--it-is-a-way-of-life.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "As I maintain, it is a way of life." +date: 2018-12-07 +--- + + As I maintain, it is a way of life. Besides EMS and military I don’t know who else gets quite as soundly reminded of their own mortality every damn day as much as motorcyclists. + +Without going into the philosophy of it…again…I’ll just say that was the promise I made — find someone who *understood* that. + +Surprising no-one I failed even that. Lord knows what’ll happen this time — I seem to be the more damaged half, unusually! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-12-07-heh--yes-indeed--i-have-enough-trouble-getting-myself-to-listen-to-myself--let-alone-anyone-else.markdown b/_posts/2018-12-07-heh--yes-indeed--i-have-enough-trouble-getting-myself-to-listen-to-myself--let-alone-anyone-else.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5d339de --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-12-07-heh--yes-indeed--i-have-enough-trouble-getting-myself-to-listen-to-myself--let-alone-anyone-else.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Heh. Yes indeed. I have enough trouble getting myself to listen to myself, let alone anyone else." +date: 2018-12-07 +--- + + Heh. Yes indeed. I have enough trouble getting myself to listen to *myself*, let alone anyone else. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-12-07-how-ever-did-you-know---and-a-woman-again--despite-life-s-best-attempts.markdown b/_posts/2018-12-07-how-ever-did-you-know---and-a-woman-again--despite-life-s-best-attempts.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..634a144 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-12-07-how-ever-did-you-know---and-a-woman-again--despite-life-s-best-attempts.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "How ever did you know?? And…a woman again, despite Life’s best attempts." +date: 2018-12-07 +--- + + How ever did you know?? And…a woman again, despite Life’s best attempts. + + Considering calling myself an addict at this point. I just don’t know whether it’s love or…pain that’s my drug. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-12-07-i-managed-to-both-terrify-and-exasperate-someone-in-my-seminar-today-by-expounding-the-nature-of.markdown b/_posts/2018-12-07-i-managed-to-both-terrify-and-exasperate-someone-in-my-seminar-today-by-expounding-the-nature-of.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c82f90f --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-12-07-i-managed-to-both-terrify-and-exasperate-someone-in-my-seminar-today-by-expounding-the-nature-of.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,17 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "I managed to both terrify and exasperate someone in my seminar today by expounding the nature of…" +date: 2018-12-07 +--- + + I managed to both terrify and exasperate someone in my seminar today by expounding the nature of our impending and inevitable deaths at the hands — nay mechandrites — of Abominable Intelligences! Heading in the right direction methinks…still got those lines you lent me saved up for whenever I get the chance but most people are so frustratingly unwilling to engage in argument. + +As for grown up things — bollox to that. What more to life is there than a motorcycle and the road? Were I so inclined I could easily and happily make those the only ‘grown up’ things that were mandatory for me.¹ + +Which tangentially reminds me of a promise I made myself and — true to form — instantly broke. This as usual cannot end well.² + +¹ And even then — a man gets on the bike, a boy turns the key ;P + +² What ever does? + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-12-07-now-that-s-truly-profound.markdown b/_posts/2018-12-07-now-that-s-truly-profound.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a8823db --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-12-07-now-that-s-truly-profound.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Now that’s truly profound." +date: 2018-12-07 +--- + + Now that’s *truly* profound. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-12-07-says-the-ex-rider-i-know-you-understand--which-is-why-i-cannot-understand-how-you-could-stop.markdown b/_posts/2018-12-07-says-the-ex-rider-i-know-you-understand--which-is-why-i-cannot-understand-how-you-could-stop.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b895623 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-12-07-says-the-ex-rider-i-know-you-understand--which-is-why-i-cannot-understand-how-you-could-stop.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,17 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Says the ex-rider…I know you understand, which is why I cannot understand how you could stop." +date: 2018-12-07 +--- + + Says the ex-rider…I know you *understand*, which is why **I** cannot understand how you could stop. + +Anyway, she’ll come 2UP, but that doesn’t quite count does it. + +I’m hoping to convince her real women ride their own…so I’ve already failed¹. + +We are no good for each other, that much everyone knows. But since when has something being a bad idea stopped me anyway? + +¹ To hope I’ll ever convince her and to escape another Mistake, both + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-12-07-success.markdown b/_posts/2018-12-07-success.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f6d625a --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-12-07-success.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Success!" +date: 2018-12-07 +--- + + Success! + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/_posts/2018-12-07-that-one-i-stole-from-my-a2-instructor--who-s-been-riding-bikes-thereabouts-twice-as-long-as-i-ve.markdown b/_posts/2018-12-07-that-one-i-stole-from-my-a2-instructor--who-s-been-riding-bikes-thereabouts-twice-as-long-as-i-ve.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..06e5ce6 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2018-12-07-that-one-i-stole-from-my-a2-instructor--who-s-been-riding-bikes-thereabouts-twice-as-long-as-i-ve.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "That one I stole from my A2 instructor, who’s been riding bikes thereabouts twice as long as I’ve…" +date: 2018-12-07 +--- + + That one I stole from my A2 instructor, who’s been riding bikes thereabouts twice as long as I’ve been alive. + +I really should book another course with him. + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/blog.md b/blog.md index a7d3448..1d90179 100644 --- a/blog.md +++ b/blog.md @@ -1,8 +1,10 @@ --- layout: page -title: Blog +title: Frenetic Scribblings (Blog) permalink: /blog/ --- +Medium Posts converted with [this](https://github.com/Donohue/medium-to-jekyll). 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